FabSwingers.com forum: Polite ways to turn people down.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

I appreciate the offer, it's not something I'm looking for right now. Take care and enjoy the lifestyle

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

just saying no, if thats not enough its their problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people need to realise that everyone has a type and respect that. If someone says to me that they aren't interested, I wouldn't take offence. I would probably be a bit disappointed, but I wouldn't be offended by that. I'm always honest with people. If they don't like that, then that's up to them unfortunately.

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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago

Bridgwater, Somerset

My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Or like this morning we get told we are rude for turning down a meet with someone more attractive than us

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

On Fab,just don't reply, it's in the rules that this is an acceptable polite way of saying "thanks but no thanks".

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Looking good but not for me. Sorry.x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I say "Nice but not for me". That's it, no further convo.

Polite and unambiguous.

Works for me

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Thanks for your message (and compliments - if they have said something nice)

However you aren’t for us.

Happy hunting

Not many come back with anything other than thanks for the reply…

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By *ooneyCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Politely, thanks for the interest, but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not for us but good luck x

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I usually reply with "Ewww, seriously??"

Joking of course, I usually say something along the lines of "thanks, but you arent what I am looking for."

People shouldnt be too precious on here, I have had many knockbacks on here and just got on with it, because equally, I have plenty of amazing meets with sexy and attractive people.

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By *andboyMan
over a year ago

Calne

Declined an interest the other day from a profile aged 36, with "sorry looking for more around my age", the reply came back "oh I am about 44". Another added to the block list!!!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Not for me" usually suffices. Most of the time I just don't reply.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"Hiya! Sorry, we're not looking for anyone right now, and I'm not sure we're interested in the same things. Thanks anyway, and have a great day!"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?"

What unwanted knock on effect is it having?

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

"Sorry you aren't what I'm looking for" usually works for me

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

Thank you but I think you would be better off finding someone who shares more of your interest, I don't think I'm quite what you are looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of mine are from men lol

I politely thank them and say that Im not looking for men.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?

What unwanted knock on effect is it having?

"Why...why....why... why..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you try . Ta but no ta

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By *ydia_LovegoodWoman
over a year ago

St. Ives

My go to answer is "thank you but I'll pass x"...

If the message was well thought out but they are not my type I'll say "thank you so much for your lovely message but I'll pass x"

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By *_yeahPartiesCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

As we usually look for couples it’s usually something along the lines of ‘there’s not an all round attraction’ which is true as there has to be a 4 way connection which is tricky to find!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?

What unwanted knock on effect is it having?

"Why...why....why... why...""

Block...block...block...block...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for your application. After much consideration and due diligence, we do not believe that you would be a good fit for our organisation. Please do not apply again unless you have a change in circumstances.

Kind regards

Partner-you-sexually-desired

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Yes, that’s the same as us - the worst we’ve ever had in response was from a lady who replied with ‘???’, so all very polite really.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?"

No reply is a polite "not interested". People get more offended with a "no thank you" message .

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Yes, that’s the same as us - the worst we’ve ever had in response was from a lady who replied with ‘???’, so all very polite really."

That was probably emoticons that the site didn't recognise

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

There is no one-size-fits-all gentle decline that works (see my post on the lounge).

If people want to be butt-hurt, indignant, nasty or upset then they will do.

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Yes, that’s the same as us - the worst we’ve ever had in response was from a lady who replied with ‘???’, so all very polite really.

That was probably emoticons that the site didn't recognise"

Thumbs

from android/iphone come out as ??? on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After say no thanks you block.

No more messages, no more mistakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Or like this morning we get told we are rude for turning down a meet with someone more attractive than us

Lx"

He must have thought he was Adonis himself because you are gorgeous!

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We normally say "thank you but you are not what we are looking for, good luck in your search"

After that if the messages become abusive (very rarely) we use the block button.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I usually just say thanks but no thanks, happy swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?"

We are always honest BUT sometimes it's hard to tell someone the truth, for instance just how do you tell a guy that Sheila does not find them attractive without offending anyone

I often offend people as I am brutally honest and speak my mind which doesn't always go down well with anyone that does not know me as a person.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Yes, that’s the same as us - the worst we’ve ever had in response was from a lady who replied with ‘???’, so all very polite really.

That was probably emoticons that the site didn't recognise

Thumbs

from android/iphone come out as ??? on here"

Really! Well that would explain it.

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Yes, that’s the same as us - the worst we’ve ever had in response was from a lady who replied with ‘???’, so all very polite really.

That was probably emoticons that the site didn't recognise

Thumbs

from android/iphone come out as ??? on here

Really! Well that would explain it.

Any phone emojis come up as question marks

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By *225Couple
over a year ago

lichfield

Genrally just a polite message stating there not we are looking for.

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By *issChief 200Woman
over a year ago

South West

Sorry it's a no from me. Happy Fabbing tho

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

I've never had abuse for a polite decline,

I usually say something along the lines of thanks for the message but that's not for me/I'm not interested/ not really my type.

Happy fabbing/hope you find what you're looking for etc.

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?

No reply is a polite "not interested". People get more offended with a "no thank you" message ."

Actually not true I've had abuse for not replying

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?"

“No thank you” or “not interested thanks”

Then if they message again, ignored.

Again and blocked.

If they get arsey after my first message that’s their problem not mine. I’ve done nothing wrong lol x

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By *odramafunCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire/staffordshire

A simple not for us thank you but wish you fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Understand saying no to others but some just keep coming back and asking again.

Unfortunately we end up blocking them.

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By *izequeen95Woman
over a year ago

from surrey travel with work

Usually say im not interested but now tend to just ignore. Just for the pure fact many ask why or offer money or tell me how good there oral or dick is. Like come on im not interested keep it moving and respectful

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By *aynLexiCouple
over a year ago

Bridgwater, Somerset

"My go to is "thanks for your message but your not what we are looking for" 99% of the time we get a nice thanks/no worries message back

Or like this morning we get told we are rude for turning down a meet with someone more attractive than us

He must have thought he was Adonis himself because you are gorgeous!

That message was from a couple

no pictures though so couldn't tell how attractive they were

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Had this issue more than once now.

I generally am upfront and honest and decline if I am not interested. However some people take great offence to this and it is having a unwanted knock on effect.

So what is the most polite way to decline a prospective offer?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling a connection"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just politely declined someone after their first message and got called names. Nothing vulgar, just playground stuff. I reported them anyway.

It can be very frustrating.

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By *etefromderbyMan
over a year ago

Derby

I think. No thanks is polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My response to some of the replies above:

To the person who said "no response means no thank you". Yes that's technically true, but it also can be quite mean-spirited. A polite message should at least deserve a polite response.

To the person who said "respond and then block". Again, the instant block can be useful tool, but it's unnecessary to use it on everyone who does not appeal to you.

To the people who have said "sorry but not for me". This is ok, but I think the "not for me" thing sounds a bit arrogant. It's much better IMO to say "we're not a match" or words to that effect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just say no thank you happy fabbing

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