FabSwingers.com forum: How do you feel after sex hook-ups (psychology)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to get deep....

This isn’t really relevant to married or people in relationships. But I’m just wondering, how do you feel after you have sex with a random person?

Does anyone else constantly have a sense of lingering guilt, shame, anxiety etc post-sex? Is that normal? For years now, I’ve planned sex with people, searched for it and felt excited beforehand but more and more, I’ve realised that I’m not sure if I actually if I even enjoy it, it’s almost an addictive cycle but as soon as the ‘sex’ begins, I just don’t want to be there and after it’s done I feel all of the above feelings.

Is it different for men / woman (or the giver, receiver)? I feel like the majority of straight men never would have these kind of feelings (I may be wrong) and it’s more of the sub Partner that has those internalised negative emotions.

What are your thoughts on this?

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

"Sorry to get deep....

This isn’t really relevant to married or people in relationships. But I’m just wondering, how do you feel after you have sex with a random person?

What are your thoughts on this? "

As a single male I think it's possible to have these feelings, initially I can see how self esteem might be vulnerable, and how you could feel shitty about an experience/yourself however I personally am pretty self aware... I know relationships arent for me, and I see that it's not necessarily just me having the experience. I dont require a relationship to feel self assured and I think largely if you feel guilty about it or ashamed , you either have fears of not being enough for your own relationship, or you arent communicating intentions and boundaries properly.

People are here for different reasons, if I can help someone or a couple explore a facet of their relationship, i have no need to feel bad. I wouldnt go behind anyones back because I am not that way inclined.

One perspective

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

If you follow Freud, it would be classed as a released i.d followed by a massive super ego trip.

Personally, think it is a endorphin high effecting the limbic system.

Then an oxytocin negative reaction on the cortex

Or both are the same.

Or it could just be humanity.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I actually dont feel guilt or anything I just enjoy it and on to the next bit of fun

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I actually dont feel guilt or anything I just enjoy it and on to the next bit of fun "

To me, that is brilliant balance.

Both sexually and as a person.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I don't feel much after a one off hook up.

Which is why I stopped doing them.

I like to leave smiling, knowing there's more to come.

Of course, sometimes there isn't much more than another couple of times, or it fizzles out after a few months, or, for some reason, we don't meet again.

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