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Weeding out timewasters

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By *helmercple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Hi do you folks have any good tips for ing out timewasters? We have just been blown out again at the last minute by a guy who we thought from his feedback sounded reliable. It is sooooo frustrating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Checkout the verifications and get there phone number , people are far less likely to let you down if you can phone them .

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Checkout the verifications and get there phone number , people are far less likely to let you down if you can phone them .

Good luck "

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

yes after chatting we ask to chat on the phone with them , amazing how many "people" dissapear or block you when you ask this question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes after chatting we ask to chat on the phone with them , amazing how many "people" dissapear or block you when you ask this question "

Then you've just ed out another timewaster and not wasted anymore of your own.

I think to some people it's a game and they get kicks out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes after chatting we ask to chat on the phone with them , amazing how many "people" dissapear or block you when you ask this question "
. We do the same and ask to speak to the female just to verify she exists and are not surprised when they say she night shift and will phone another night never happens of course xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've a rake if you want to borrow it

Yes its frustrating, make a comment on the note facility, block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi do you folks have any good tips for ing out timewasters? We have just been blown out again at the last minute by a guy who we thought from his feedback sounded reliable. It is sooooo frustrating. "

Does it depend on each individual on what the definition of a timewaster is?

*Is it pulling out at late notice of a meet or maybe a few days in advance?

*Do you give them the benefit of the doubt but if they pull out a second time?

Just make a note and move on is my way of dealing with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a number of check points you could use:

- Able to provide a face picture.

- Responds to your messages in a non-sporadic manner.

- Able to talk on the phone (both parties if a couple)

- Decent verifications (webcam ones are unreliable as are ones by delinquents)

- Perhaps most importantly, trust your gut instinct - does this person / couple seem like they will really meet?

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

There is just one way to check out some:invite for a coffee in a bar. Make it clear that it is just the first step. True it take time to do that but at least you will have a clear opinion on the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social first might help - but just cos they turn up for that - doesn't mean they might not get cold feet on the night!

A 'reserve' doesn't always work - although if it's a single guy you're meeting - you might find one willing to be on standby - I've had 'last minute' messages saying someone's been stood up - and if free and in the mood have gladly stepped in!

Sadly there's no foolproof system - especially if you've done the sensible things first - sometimes there's a genuine reason for cancellations, sometimes not.

There is the option of reporting - and if you've a message trail on here - admin will be able to see it!

Good luck next time guys!!

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"A social first might help - but just cos they turn up for that - doesn't mean they might not get cold feet on the night!

A 'reserve' doesn't always work - although if it's a single guy you're meeting - you might find one willing to be on standby - I've had 'last minute' messages saying someone's been stood up - and if free and in the mood have gladly stepped in!

Sadly there's no foolproof system - especially if you've done the sensible things first - sometimes there's a genuine reason for cancellations, sometimes not.

There is the option of reporting - and if you've a message trail on here - admin will be able to see it!

Good luck next time guys!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is just one way to check out some:invite for a coffee in a bar. Make it clear that it is just the first step. True it take time to do that but at least you will have a clear opinion on the person"

Of course, this still has the big problem of them pitching up to meet in the coffee bar in the first place! If someone is a time waster then they are unlikely to do so and therefore a more initial screening process is required!

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

There is no sure fire way unfortunately we have done the chatting on the phone bit to both parties mantained communications until the day of the meet to then have them not turn up and block us we had this happen with 3 couples over a weekend we now have back up plans or meet at clubs as this way we can still play with other people if we get let down

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

Verifications.... I don't need a badge to say who or what I am! Talk to me on the phone (happy to give my number) or if needs must by webcam (I'm not a fan). If I say I will be there I will be. Been let down so many times now by people with more verifications than you can shake a stick at! They talk the talk then when the day of the first meet looms the profile has gone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Verifications.... I don't need a badge to say who or what I am! Talk to me on the phone (happy to give my number) or if needs must by webcam (I'm not a fan). If I say I will be there I will be. Been let down so many times now by people with more verifications than you can shake a stick at! They talk the talk then when the day of the first meet looms the profile has gone! "

The problem with just a phone verification (hence why they were removed) is that while it may indicate that you are polite etc, it says nothing about what you look like and of course how you will be in person.

Sure verifications are sometimes meaningless but having an independent vouch for you is a good sign but again should only be one tick in the checklist of 'ing out time wasters'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single bloke it can be frustrating as timewasters make it harder for singles/couples to trust. If i know i cant meet il say outright i dont do all this maybe il let you know crap or im on call at work so i dont know. I realise some cancellations are genuine due to having kids etc. Something that puts me off if you swap numbers and your on your way to a meet and its a text - sorry i cant make it or the other half has cold feet. Im fully in favour of a no pressure social meet, coffee and a chat if nothing comes of it then so be it but it helps ascertain between those who want to meet and those who are pic collectors or just enjoy winding people up

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

I agree up to a point. I see so many profiles on here that say something along the lines of 'no verification, no meet', they have forgotten that once they had no verifications...

A phone call may give you a limited idea of the person on the other end but it reveals more than a hundred dodgy photos that could be of anyone. Nothing can (in my _iew) give you a 100% picture of the other person until you actually get to know them. Talk for hours on the phone even one or two face to face meets and you will still not know the real person.

If we all were so cautious no one would ever meet lol. I'm happy to meet for a coffee/drink in town (theirs or mine) then if they don't show up its no real problem, just one more to write off. Obviously I'd be peed off if I had travelled miles but I would not go with out a back up plan... a bit of sight seeing or call in on a mate on the way back etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree up to a point. I see so many profiles on here that say something along the lines of 'no verification, no meet', they have forgotten that once they had no verifications...

A phone call may give you a limited idea of the person on the other end but it reveals more than a hundred dodgy photos that could be of anyone. Nothing can (in my _iew) give you a 100% picture of the other person until you actually get to know them. Talk for hours on the phone even one or two face to face meets and you will still not know the real person.

If we all were so cautious no one would ever meet lol. I'm happy to meet for a coffee/drink in town (theirs or mine) then if they don't show up its no real problem, just one more to write off. Obviously I'd be peed off if I had travelled miles but I would not go with out a back up plan... a bit of sight seeing or call in on a mate on the way back etc. "

Best of luck to you in finding that elusive meeting!

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By *helmercple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Thanks for the tips guys..... I guess we should just relax a little bit. This post was born out of frustration and with hindsight it saved us wasting money on a empty hotel room x

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby


"I agree up to a point. I see so many profiles on here that say something along the lines of 'no verification, no meet', they have forgotten that once they had no verifications...

A phone call may give you a limited idea of the person on the other end but it reveals more than a hundred dodgy photos that could be of anyone. Nothing can (in my _iew) give you a 100% picture of the other person until you actually get to know them. Talk for hours on the phone even one or two face to face meets and you will still not know the real person.

If we all were so cautious no one would ever meet lol. I'm happy to meet for a coffee/drink in town (theirs or mine) then if they don't show up its no real problem, just one more to write off. Obviously I'd be peed off if I had travelled miles but I would not go with out a back up plan... a bit of sight seeing or call in on a mate on the way back etc.

Best of luck to you in finding that elusive meeting! "

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi do you folks have any good tips for ing out timewasters? We have just been blown out again at the last minute by a guy who we thought from his feedback sounded reliable. It is sooooo frustrating. "

Yes. Pop up the A12 to Ipswich. It's a Timewasters Free Zone here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's difficult.We looked at a party invite on the meetings page.Contacted the indivual and looked at the profile. Looks like the photos are from other profiles on FAB.

Even had phone conversations and they have turned at to be fakes.

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By *akpleasuresMan
over a year ago

Chester

Timewasters really are the bane of this lifestyle, aren't they. It doesn't seem to differ whether you're single or a couple or whether they are. Equally, talking on the phone is important in proving they exist but doesn't stop them wasting your time .

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By *helmercple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Another forum member gave us a useful tip .....only have public photos and have no friends pics that way the pics collectors won't be trying to make friends just to look at he friends pics.... Might out a few so we have given it a try x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Checkout the verifications and get there phone number , people are far less likely to let you down if you can phone them .

Good luck "

Have to say thats not fool proof. We had someones mobile number and they still let us down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a back up plan that is what we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we have had more let downs than not when asking to speak on phone before - all couples.

We find last minute meets are better in some ways than planned meets where people seem to change their minds.

And we also seem to chat to an amazing number of shift workers too ....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

gut instinct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Re-post. Don't ask us! After 7+ years of swinging we have been let down again by a couple tonight. I think that the rule some people have on here about not meeting anyone who have been on here a long time and not verified is very valid.

Now sat here dolled up to the nines about to start a private cheese and wine party - for two!

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