Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There was a guy i was seeing and we did something new after i asked him to give me feedback and he just said it was perfect which isnt exactly what i wanted to here i wanted to know how it could of been better" Exactly, how on earth do you know? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn't go down well because they are are basing a critique/comparing to somebody else's standards even if these standars are completely imagined, are they qualified to compare you or do they think they are qualified cos the watch a lot of porn." hmm good point...but for example I love to kiss...hard, passionate kisses...very tender kissing doesn't do it for me....but maybe it does for my meet...should they say? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn't go down well because they are are basing a critique/comparing to somebody else's standards even if these standars are completely imagined, are they qualified to compare you or do they think they are qualified cos the watch a lot of porn. hmm good point...but for example I love to kiss...hard, passionate kisses...very tender kissing doesn't do it for me....but maybe it does for my meet...should they say?" I shouldn't have to say because you have told me and I would know becauseI listened, I am the same I know and in this we are a good match one box ticked. Then I may like to pursue this maybe discuss further. If that wasn't for me I would politely say no and wish you all the best in your search the best sex in my experience is when there is I good chemistry or synergy, if that is the case nothing else matters - it is what works for you and a n other People put too many false expectations on others and it is a shame | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"ok, so time to open a section for this with anonymising apart from the interested parties?" anonymous rate my date/critique my meet? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would never ask for a review of my performance from a meet. I do however when in a regular thing get some feedback in way. I dont see the point in asking if im not seeing them regularly as how one guys heaven of a blow job can be someone else hell, so really they could just be setting me up to fail with another guy lmao" Good point! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would be quite happy for someone to say "I prefer it like this" or "down a bit and to the right" but a critique after the event would be a step too far for me. If you can't speak up tactfully at the time don't be sending me a "points for improvement" list afterwards . " my feedback form/spreadsheet not going to become a thing then? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn't go down well because they are are basing a critique/comparing to somebody else's standards even if these standars are completely imagined, are they qualified to compare you or do they think they are qualified cos the watch a lot of porn." And also the fact that everyone's idea of perfect BJ etc is different, depending on their own bodies! Profiles where the guy talks about giving the woman oral for hours to make her cum terrify me ...I love oral, both ways, but hate being the passive recipient for more than a few minutes | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would be quite happy for someone to say "I prefer it like this" or "down a bit and to the right" but a critique after the event would be a step too far for me. If you can't speak up tactfully at the time don't be sending me a "points for improvement" list afterwards . my feedback form/spreadsheet not going to become a thing then?" . If I got sent one the feedback might not be what they wanted to hear | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met " I don’t think you should equate how good you are at sex with whether a Fab guy wants to see you again. Many of them just want a fu*k and go and get a perverse sense of power when they dupe you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn't go down well because they are are basing a critique/comparing to somebody else's standards even if these standars are completely imagined, are they qualified to compare you or do they think they are qualified cos the watch a lot of porn. hmm good point...but for example I love to kiss...hard, passionate kisses...very tender kissing doesn't do it for me....but maybe it does for my meet...should they say?" And there is the problem. For example, you say I loved everything but your kisses are too soft. The guy then thinks next time I meet a new woman soft kisses are out. Guy meets new woman. New woman says everything great but you kiss too hard. Give me soft sensual kisses. We all ike different things. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met " I’d love a critique. And usually I get them in veris. I know my veris are genuine because of a little secret trick that I won’t be sharing here haha | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm not sure the guys would dare... Can't see the ladies having a problem with this " Wouldn't be so sure about it. Would be surprised about man criticising women's sex skills | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would *fucking love* to get honest feedback. Even if it was critical, even if it was absolutely excoriating, it would at least be *something*. I have friends who tell me their partners are "crap in bed" yet they fake orgasms...how is the poor guy supposed to improve if he thinks what he is doing is right? Something to work with, something to improve on in future, something to help me be better. "It was perfect. You are the world's greatest lover" = Completely useless. "You took too long to get anywhere, and now my hips are sore" = *Thank* you. Something I can actually act upon. After all, if we don't know what's wrong, we can't fix it. I know I am a massive statistical outlier – people want comfortable platitudes, not awkward truth – but I can dream. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Absolutely fine with it. Bdsm is all about communication. Why wouldn't sexual communication is just as important. How else are you going to build your sexual relationship with someone. This was grea, this was not do great, can we try this next time etc. Nothing should be taken to heart. This is how we become better lovers and sexual partners. " Makes sense, I have a BDSM background, maybe that's why I feel I need feedback. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Absolutely fine with it. Bdsm is all about communication. Why wouldn't sexual communication is just as important. How else are you going to build your sexual relationship with someone. This was grea, this was not do great, can we try this next time etc. Nothing should be taken to heart. This is how we become better lovers and sexual partners. Makes sense, I have a BDSM background, maybe that's why I feel I need feedback." That makes sense to me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would *fucking love* to get honest feedback. Even if it was critical, even if it was absolutely excoriating, it would at least be *something*. Something to work with, something to improve on in future, something to help me be better. "It was perfect. You are the world's greatest lover" = Completely useless. "You took too long to get anywhere, and now my hips are sore" = *Thank* you. Something I can actually act upon. After all, if we don't know what's wrong, we can't fix it. I know I am a massive statistical outlier – people want comfortable platitudes, not awkward truth – but I can dream. I have friends who tell me their partners are "crap in bed" yet they fake orgasms...how is the poor guy supposed to improve if he thinks what he is doing is right?" That's really sad. I feel so sorry for people who end up emotionally tied together when the physical side isn't there. I hope they can find what they need elsewhere. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met " I’d absolutely love this. Obviously it’s different for different people, but if you were meeting them again, it’d be useful to know what’s working and what really isn’t | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would *fucking love* to get honest feedback. Even if it was critical, even if it was absolutely excoriating, it would at least be *something*. Something to work with, something to improve on in future, something to help me be better. "It was perfect. You are the world's greatest lover" = Completely useless. "You took too long to get anywhere, and now my hips are sore" = *Thank* you. Something I can actually act upon. After all, if we don't know what's wrong, we can't fix it. I know I am a massive statistical outlier – people want comfortable platitudes, not awkward truth – but I can dream. I have friends who tell me their partners are "crap in bed" yet they fake orgasms...how is the poor guy supposed to improve if he thinks what he is doing is right? That's really sad. I feel so sorry for people who end up emotionally tied together when the physical side isn't there. I hope they can find what they need elsewhere. " I think what they need is probably right in front of them but they need to work on it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. " Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. " I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? " I have little difficulty standing out in person – I'm usually the largest person in any given room – but on here, it's a bit more difficult. Online, I can't make people notice me just by standing up. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? " But people who like it would be attracted. You can't please everyone. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? I have little difficulty standing out in person – I'm usually the largest person in any given room – but on here, it's a bit more difficult. Online, I can't make people notice me just by standing up." It’s often very difficult to give useful advice unless you know the person well and can tailor it to them and to some specific actions. The best advice for many people would be spend less time here sort your insecurities out get a life plan and come back when not so needy and entitled and have something to offer other than cock pics. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would be quite happy for someone to say "I prefer it like this" or "down a bit and to the right" but a critique after the event would be a step too far for me. If you can't speak up tactfully at the time don't be sending me a "points for improvement" list afterwards . " This | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I thought this quote might be useful for this thread! "Feedback is only difficult to hear if it comes from: Family Friend Work colleague Complete Stranger." Gbat" Shouldn’t that be “criticism”? Feedback could be glowing | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? But people who like it would be attracted. You can't please everyone. " I don't want to, but it often feels like people refuse to give their personal feelings to help inform decisions. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd like a lot more opinion on these things around here tbh. People want to be positive and all, but it's not all that helpful. "just be yourself" can be a pretty frustrating thing to read when you want actual opinions. Absolutely. This is one of my pet hates. "Just be yourself" is totally useless as advice, be it on Fab or going into a job interview. If being yourself was working, you wouldn't need advice! The other non-advice that drives me nuts is "Just stand out". Yes, obviously, but *how*? Ugh. I could stand out more, but I could look a chuffing clown... And actually, after a 20 year break, I'm considering trying some eyeliner at clubs... I'd stand out, but would people I like be put off? But people who like it would be attracted. You can't please everyone. I don't want to, but it often feels like people refuse to give their personal feelings to help inform decisions. " I think a lot of that is down to people not wanting to express an opinion that might not be in line with the accepted common opinions of the forum. Personally the more opinions I'm given on something the more helpful I find it. It makes it easier to clarify my own opinion in a way. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met " Interested in what type of job you do OP | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met Interested in what type of job you do OP " That isn't relevant to the thread. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How would you feel if you received honest sexual critique after a meet? We all have a good idea what we are good at...my oral skills are apparently outstanding(along with every woman on fab), but what about weaknesses? In the workplace we are evaluated or self evaluate on weaknesses and strengths....do you ever wonder where your areas for improvement are? I have met people, had what I thought was a great meet but never been offered a rematch, I wonder if it could have been better? but how would I know? what are others thoughts on this? BTW please don't offer a free critique....unless of course we have already met Interested in what type of job you do OP That isn't relevant to the thread." Ah I actually think it is given your approach and use of language | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |