FabSwingers.com forum: Live picture verification

By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

So like most other couple profiles we have a few people message us that we think we might got along with, but as there are so many fake profiles for both couples and single females we always ask for them to do a live picture (which we would also return). Obviously this depends on their fab profile and verifications they have displayed.

We’ve had lots of people get irritated by us requesting this but find it’s the way which works best for us to build trust from the outset. Is this something you would be frustrated by or would you understand why it’s being asked and try make it a lighthearted way to progress the chat?

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just take it as part of meeting people from the internet. I sometimes ask for a specific hand signal or expression just to make it silly.

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Not sure if it’s fool proof but we check people out on veris then ask to chat as a group in telegram and can generally get a feel for whether they’re real or not. Seems to have stood us in good stead so far.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I've done that before, and would have no issue sometime requesting me to.

It's all party of basic internet safety.

If the other party gets annoyed by you wanting to feel safe, then sod them off I'd say.

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

Can’t say it’s a bad idea , we have always looked at verifications and to be honest it’s stood us well enough, if the other couple Or Female wants the female halves to talk we will do that

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

It's not something we've really done much, mostly before we were verified. I'll admit I don't like it, as it seems to imply a power difference between couples. Not that it's inherently meant to, but it can feel like it sometimes, like you're jumping through their hoops etc.

Often good to re-evaluate those feelings though, work out what they are actually for, and if they're valid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my gosh......if you dont believe they are a who they say they are....they probably arent...not much help but thats my 2 cents!

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

Yeah like a lot have suggested we do look at verifications on fab when they are available but some don’t have any/many as well as some profiles have 5 verifications from other profiles that are all say under 1 month old.

Good to see so many people agreeing that it should be seen as basic internet safety too.

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"It's not something we've really done much, mostly before we were verified. I'll admit I don't like it, as it seems to imply a power difference between couples. Not that it's inherently meant to, but it can feel like it sometimes, like you're jumping through their hoops etc.

Often good to re-evaluate those feelings though, work out what they are actually for, and if they're valid."

Absolutely I’m sure some people do feel like it’s jumping through hoops but if both parties are willing to do it surely that would create more of an equilibrium among all involved? Although we get that it may still feel like you are being dictated to by the other couple/person.

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"Oh my gosh......if you dont believe they are a who they say they are....they probably arent...not much help but thats my 2 cents! "

Rightly or wrongly due to past experiences on here we don’t “believe” anyone is who they say they are until we can verify it. Maybe that’s a very cynical viewpoint or maybe it’s a protective mechanism which stops us becoming too invested in the conversations until we have grown some form of trust.

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By *attenbergCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

We’ve asked a few people to do them same and none of them have done it… we’re guessing for obvious reasons

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"We’ve asked a few people to do them same and none of them have done it… we’re guessing for obvious reasons "

Yeah we’ve put it down to mostly the same thing and they have been caught out but I’m sure there are some who just don’t want to have to send a picture to verify which is unfortunate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I have moaned about fakes and catfishes on here today.

I don’t mind proving I’m real but I’d rather it happened organically in the conversation rather then someone telling me to go take a picture with my left thumb up and a pineapple on my head in a red top. (Over exaggeration but I have no interest in going and taking silly pictures in the mirror)

If I’m chatting to someone I’m interested in then I’d normally send a picture via the camera within a couple of days anyway and I don’t like it when someone asks you to prove yourself and they want you to do it right now... like this minute and if you don’t you’re fake ...

I’m not fake.. I’m just in my pjs watching tv and I don’t wanna get up to take a selfie to please anyone as I know I’m real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also I get asked to do it a lot... it’s tedious and gets annoying when you have to have the same convo over and over.

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"Although I have moaned about fakes and catfishes on here today.

I’m not fake.. I’m just in my pjs watching tv and I don’t wanna get up to take a selfie to please anyone as I know I’m real.

Yep completely understand that too, I guess it’s really important how it’s requested. We certainly don’t demand someone does it there and then but instead ask them to let us know when a good time could be for us ALL to do one. We know as well as anyone how vanilla life certainly doesn’t always have us in the mood to take selfies at other people’s request lol.

The last thing I want to be doing is taking pictures when I’m in between nightshifts and just need to sleep lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/05/21 16:25:08]

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

There's a lot of couples who won't "jump through hoops" and even putting a keyword from a profile is too much for them. But their loss. We'd happily do verification photos if anyone asked, but we haven't been asked yet.

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By *C7995XCouple
over a year ago

London

"So like most other couple profiles we have a few people message us that we think we might got along with, but as there are so many fake profiles for both couples and single females we always ask for them to do a live picture (which we would also return). Obviously this depends on their fab profile and verifications they have displayed.

Sarah

After chatting and msgin for a bit. But not straight off the bat.

xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just take it as part of meeting people from the internet. I sometimes ask for a specific hand signal or expression just to make it silly. "

That's a good idea, makes it more fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’ve asked a few people to do them same and none of them have done it… we’re guessing for obvious reasons

Yeah we’ve put it down to mostly the same thing and they have been caught out but I’m sure there are some who just don’t want to have to send a picture to verify which is unfortunate.

xx "

I haven’t had it do it, and I wouldn’t either, doesn’t mean I’m fake.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We always used to cam when arranging meets to see if we got on before taking the next step, if they didn't want to it wasn't a problem but we just moved onto someone who did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair most of my meets, I have facetimed or whatsapp before the meet, just to see it’s definitely who they say they are and not an axe murderer end they can see who I am, never had a meeting cancelled once they have seen me so hopefully must be what they are looking for lol.

Saying that nowadays you can have them filters and stuff on the call, that shits me up a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are loads of apps to verify a cpl

We use Whatsapp Skype or Telegram.

If the cpl is unable to verify in any of these then it's just a waste of time

veris area good but not always authentic.

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"We’ve asked a few people to do them same and none of them have done it… we’re guessing for obvious reasons

Yeah we’ve put it down to mostly the same thing and they have been caught out but I’m sure there are some who just don’t want to have to send a picture to verify which is unfortunate.

I haven’t had it do it, and I wouldn’t either, doesn’t mean I’m fake. "

You’re right it doesn’t mean you’re fake necessarily if someone doesn’t want to send a live picture, but if they have contacted you to engage in conversation having had no previous interaction, conversation seems to be going well, normally we would want to know if investing more time to the conversation with a view to meeting is the best course of action and for us (not everyone) it helps us build that trust even from afar.

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"There are loads of apps to verify a cpl

We use Whatsapp Skype or Telegram.

If the cpl is unable to verify in any of these then it's just a waste of time

veris area good but not always authentic.

Yeah we’re quite laid back on how long it takes to do the picture as we understand life can be hectic but we’d normally put the brakes on the conversation until we were ALL comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’d be only too happy to verify with a live picture. Or a quick video call, especially if it was someone we’re particularly keen on

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Personally I wouldn't do it but I have verifications showing on my profile from social gatherings. If that doesn't prove that I'm real enough then I don't know what will.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Is that after you sent them a live photo?

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

Sarah

xx"

If it’s got to a point where we will be meeting, I’d be asking for a video call. Especially if I’m travelling long distance.

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By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

Sarah

xx"

Given most of us are now very used to going online and using cameras.. Surely that would be the best way anyone could confirm they were 'as advertised'.. Not even on Fab but Teams or Skype etc normal face to face chat.. Again most of us, are now used to dou g that so probably shouldn't have a problem with it?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh my gosh......if you dont believe they are a who they say they are....they probably arent...not much help but thats my 2 cents! "

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"Personally I wouldn't do it but I have verifications showing on my profile from social gatherings. If that doesn't prove that I'm real enough then I don't know what will.

In all honesty Sparkle we would look at verifications on here first and with your profile your verifications are from others that are easily identifiable as real, I think it’s more for profiles that don’t have those kind of verifications. Also we have chatted to you before on here lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a genuine guy , had some meets here but had no veris .. I am here most nights chatting in cams and through messages but never been left a verification . Maybe I’m wrong in not asking for one but presumed the veris were performance related as oopposed to being genuine .. I am now thinking that my profile is hindered by this .. any suggestions I can right this

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not sure I'd be impressed by hoops to jump through at this point - my verification summary speaks for itself. (Yes, a year ago, but, also Covid)

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"Is that after you sent them a live photo?"

I’m not sure if you are questioning if we would send a live picture first? If so we’d probably go along with if we messaged the other profile first than we would happily send the first picture should it be the reverse well then we’d hope they would be happy to send theirs first.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I am a genuine guy , had some meets here but had no veris .. I am here most nights chatting in cams and through messages but never been left a verification . Maybe I’m wrong in not asking for one but presumed the veris were performance related as oopposed to being genuine .. I am now thinking that my profile is hindered by this .. any suggestions I can right this "

None of mine are performance related (even) the ones not shown.

Get yourself to socials when they start again and get some from there x

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By *arah_kieran_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

Greater London

"I'm not sure I'd be impressed by hoops to jump through at this point - my verification summary speaks for itself. (Yes, a year ago, but, also Covid)"

Again similar to Sparkle your profile is slightly different to the ones we are more referring to lol I think it’s obvious to anyone that takes the time to read your profile you are a real person lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Presumably people know that scammers can record video and use your 'verification chat' to con others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on mg mood and who I'm talking to, if I really think the chances of meeting that person and getting along are good I'm not bothered about jumping through a few hoops to get there but if I'm having a bad a day and Somones like take a photo with a fork or some rubbish it just irritats me and not likely to oblige lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Presumably people know that scammers can record video and use your 'verification chat' to con others.

They might record it but could hardly use it another time if you are both having a chat.

Imagine the conversation, " what are you into sexually ?" Answer comes back from the video " I had fishfingers and chips for me tea"

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By *he Wilts coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cirencester

Were not too bothered about being asked for a picture or a video call, we have nothing to hide. What really annoys us, is when you get a message demanding face pictures when they either don't have any in their profile or send any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wouldn't be too bothered about being asked for a live pic as a means of proof.

We haven't had to ask anyone yet, mainly because we've only joined during covid but if it was say a brand new profile who weren't photo verified at least we may ask.

Tbh though, you can pretty quickly work out the wheat from the chaff round here most of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Presumably people know that scammers can record video and use your 'verification chat' to con others.

They might record it but could hardly use it another time if you are both having a chat.

Imagine the conversation, " what are you into sexually ?" Answer comes back from the video " I had fishfingers and chips for me tea"

Kinky

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I can see why people do request additional verification, but can also see why some may refuse to do so (other than the wrong reasons) would suggest a lot come downs to not *whether* you ask but *how* - and that can be a very fine line especially via messages where context can get skewed.

Personally I have never felt the need for additional verification as everyone I have met I've spent a period of time chatting to and building a connection with before even suggesting meeting, but know that approach doesn't work for everyone.

Perhaps suggesting a video call to just chat more naturally rather than waiting for messages back and forth would work better than requesting a "posed" pic where it's obvious why it's being requested - with a video call you get the validation without actually asking for it and if they refuse one then you have the choice to back off.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We think it’s important to ensure people you are chatting to feel comfortable that you are who you say you are.

I think it depends who you are chatting to as to what level you need to go to. I wouldn’t say one way was right for all scenarios.

But if we felt there was doubt and it was a stumbling block then we’d walk away.

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By *inranWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I have no issue with a live photo (has to work around kids) and personally prefer a quick video call.

Just a super quick identity check and not a play session.

I'm someone who leads from the point of control but the request wouldn't upset me. Although I do have verifications too.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

It’s a great idea to prove your serious, with no verifications certainty as we just ignore those without.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We'd understand why you asked but we wouldn't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on here over a year with no veries are meets I've varied my pic with administration.I'd have no problem doing a cam are live picture to prove I'm real and not a time waster. Hey If that's what it takes bring it on .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Presumably people know that scammers can record video and use your 'verification chat' to con others.

They might record it but could hardly use it another time if you are both having a chat.

Imagine the conversation, " what are you into sexually ?" Answer comes back from the video " I had fishfingers and chips for me tea"

Kinky

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"Were not too bothered about being asked for a picture or a video call, we have nothing to hide. What really annoys us, is when you get a message demanding face pictures when they either don't have any in their profile or send any. "

Or asking that on the first message. If we wanted everyone to see, we'd have banged one on the public pics..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If were talking to someone with little or no verifications we normally use the live picture feature on kik to verify we are genuine then expect the same in return.

Theres been a few times where single men have sent fake face pics to get in the door and fail at the live pic hurdle

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"If were talking to someone with little or no verifications we normally use the live picture feature on kik to verify we are genuine then expect the same in return.

Theres been a few times where single men have sent fake face pics to get in the door and fail at the live pic hurdle

...wow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we had a couples profile no-one ever asked us for proof.

I was proactive and always offered first to prove that I'm real and aware of the meet.

In 12 years I/ we have never been stood up. Everyone turned up as arranged.

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

See I'm not giving my phone number out and I don't have the popular vid apps.

I'm very well, met in person, verified across sites and scene active so if someone doubts I'm genuine then they are welcome to come say hi to me in a club or arrange a casual coffee. I'm not jumping through other virtual hoops though.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I understand why a live photo might be requested from me on this profile.

Whether I would oblige is another matter. I don’t do the "put this word in your message" thing.

However, the couple profile is extremely well verified, so I would be a little baffled if we were asked for proof we were real on that...

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