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Time to admit defeat

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By *oggles OP   Man
over a year ago

essex and norfolk

Time to admit defeat now,now we are coming out of lockdown I thought it would be easier to make friends and get a meet,but I was wrong lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sorry to hear you feel that way.

It can be really difficult to meet people from fab but as I've said before 'you've got to be in it to win it'.

I hope things improve for you

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Managing our own expectations, apart from activities that we do to attain goals, is the major factor that goes wrong for most single men here.

Realistic expectations are the no 1 priority to prevent disappointment. After more than a year where we've been unable to meet, this has prevented most people from having the experiences they'd have wanted. We've been unable to see old friends and they will likely be at the top of the queue, before new people.

Once clubs are fully open, you can chat and get to know people more widely.

It's important to look after your wellbeing, so you could take time out for a while, whilst things rebalance in the physical world, plus you find your feet.

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By *oggles OP   Man
over a year ago

essex and norfolk

Thank you both for your kind words,been so lonely during lock down that it's getting me really down so best thing I'd to have a break for a while.

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By *weetPea-kMan
over a year ago

chelmsford

I know how you feel, i have felt so lonely during lockdown too and was hopeing to find soneone on here but have come to the conclusion that nobody wants the same as me so am thinking about leaving the site aswell

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By *oggles OP   Man
over a year ago

essex and norfolk

I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap."

I prefer "normal, older" men, but your posts here are the real turn off for me because you fail to realise the whole world has been locked down so it's been hard and impossible for anyone on here to meet! It's worldwide, not just you!! Your posts are almost "whingeing" so for that, I'd not mail!

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By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area

We all forget... its Instafab

Patience and a positive outlook are your best skills and then think 18 months of lockdown!

Frustrating but will also make people nervous, especially those who have locked down hard.

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By *tuOnePlumMan
over a year ago

Guildford

Unfortunately it takes a bit of effort but all us average chaps are in the same boat. The poster above is as much to blame with her attitude and is actually part of the problem. She'd find an excuse not to reply..maybe you don't wear red socks in your pictures. Crack on mate you'll get there....did and met some truly exceptional ladies

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I fall into the older and average category too but what I've found on here is that positivity and a sense of humour is very appealing.

The more you talk about why you believe others won't chat or meet the less chance there is of someone chatting or meeting.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

OP don’t be too hasty.

Although we are coming out of lockdown, we aren’t there yet. Start getting to know people in the forums, chat rooms etc and build some friendships ready for when more people are comfortable about meeting again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately it takes a bit of effort but all us average chaps are in the same boat. The poster above is as much to blame with her attitude and is actually part of the problem. She'd find an excuse not to reply..maybe you don't wear red socks in your pictures. Crack on mate you'll get there....did and met some truly exceptional ladies

"

Don’t u think she is entitled to meet whomever she wants ? It’s her choice to use whatever filters to decide who. She isn’t ‘part of the problem’. Although men who seem to think they are entitled to replies/meets/sex may well be

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

OP, as a distinctly average guy let me just say that what you’re looking for is possible on here, but “shock horror” you have to put the work in and try interacting with people.

Nobody is entitled to anything from the site and threads like this make you come across like you feel entitled and are whining like a moody teen.

If you’re not getting any interest but other average guys are, then the problem isn’t the site or the women and couples.... it’s you and how you approach others

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"Unfortunately it takes a bit of effort but all us average chaps are in the same boat. The poster above is as much to blame with her attitude and is actually part of the problem. She'd find an excuse not to reply..maybe you don't wear red socks in your pictures. Crack on mate you'll get there....did and met some truly exceptional ladies

Don’t u think she is entitled to meet whomever she wants ? It’s her choice to use whatever filters to decide who. She isn’t ‘part of the problem’. Although men who seem to think they are entitled to replies/meets/sex may well be "

This

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By *tuOnePlumMan
over a year ago

Guildford

I think unless you have experienced the frustrations of being in this bracket you really have no idea....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, as a distinctly average guy let me just say that what you’re looking for is possible on here, but “shock horror” you have to put the work in and try interacting with people.

Nobody is entitled to anything from the site and threads like this make you come across like you feel entitled and are whining like a moody teen.

If you’re not getting any interest but other average guys are, then the problem isn’t the site or the women and couples.... it’s you and how you approach others"

Exactly this

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

OP, get yourself out and about to swinging events as that is a good way of getting to know people and being recognized in the lifestyle community. Some swingers clubs are beginning to reopen for socials, like Lux Lounge on the grounds of VA (Vanilla Alternative) near Sandy. They are holding a BBQ on Bank Holiday Monday (31st of May). And everyone is welcome, they don't limit the numbers of single men as it's a social event, within the current rules.

But if you do choose to go to a club, you need to be friendly and at least a bit chatty. Can't expect people to just come and chat with you.

There are also some organised socials that are starting to happen. We are going to one in Nottingham next month but that might be too far for you. But keep looking on forums, as some should start being advertised soon (not formally though as Fab still does not allow that ).

Don't limit yourself to just Fab. As you can't accommodate, you are looking for others to be able to accommodate and that's not easy to find. Particularly women choose not to have people over at theirs (not every single case, but most), for a variety of reasons. Yes, hotels are an option but, with Covid track and trace rules, they are no longer as easy and discreet as before.

Last thing - if you feel this site is getting to you, take a break, do things in vanilla world that you enjoy. This site is still going to be here when you return.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately it takes a bit of effort but all us average chaps are in the same boat. The poster above is as much to blame with her attitude and is actually part of the problem. She'd find an excuse not to reply..maybe you don't wear red socks in your pictures. Crack on mate you'll get there....did and met some truly exceptional ladies

"

Oh dear me! I'm sorry that I find negative attitudes about not getting any meets, (possibly due to the attitude I've picked up on) a bit of a turn off. I'll remember next time to just lay back and think of England for any man wanting a quick bunk-up!! Seem to have forgot this is "insta-shag" and I have no choices over my mind and body!

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"I think unless you have experienced the frustrations of being in this bracket you really have no idea...."

Dude, I’m a 47 year old guy, with a dad bod and a 6” penis... I couldn’t be any more average... unless speaking to women and couples in a respectful and friendly manner makes me above average

And if it does, then I pity the poor women and couples here

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I think unless you have experienced the frustrations of being in this bracket you really have no idea...."

I have and I have every idea and yes there are entitled people on here with bad attitudes but a woe is me approach isn't going to improve that.

Patience has always been a requirement for men on here and even more so in the last year.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Don't give up OP. It can be virtually impossible to make headway by sending messages on Fab so you have to get along to the various pub swinger social events that are organised where you can chat to people and make contacts. There won't be any immediately but I am sure in time there will .

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By *tuOnePlumMan
over a year ago

Guildford

I agree.....just need perseverance and a smile on your face

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Truth is it is bloody hard for single guys because the competition is HUGE. Couples get a lot of messages. Single girls get an insane amount of messages. The admin would be a full time job hence why most never even get read!

Add to that Covid and the reality that most people are not yet meeting for swinging fun just yet - so giving up might be a bit premature!

All you can do is make your “shop window” as attractive as possible with a nice range of pics.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I myself used this pandemic lockdown period, to try and get to know others who have similar interests, which might possibly lead to more once safe,but regardless of circumstances of uneasing lockdown, is it safe, is it worth finding out, meeting whilst indulging further, it's not over, I believe but keeping in mind social distance meets could just be the tip of the iceberg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s easy to join Fab and think this will be easy hookups. Tbh, if casual sex is what you are after, you are better off on Tinder or other such.

Lifestyle sex is Kink sex, very diff to casual sex. Everyone here has their own filters based on their desires and kink. You must come to this site with no expectations, just like when you meet up or go to a club. If you can’t handle the ‘no’ then the lifestyle is likely not for you.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Maybe try again when things are back to normal. It's impossible judge this site on It's chances at the moment.

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By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area

Also find if there are any kik groups in your area. Lots of socials and silliness are arranged through these and we've seen single guys who converse and don't act too hungry really thrive

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"It’s easy to join Fab and think this will be easy hookups. Tbh, if casual sex is what you are after, you are better off on Tinder or other such.

Lifestyle sex is Kink sex, very diff to casual sex. Everyone here has their own filters based on their desires and kink. You must come to this site with no expectations, just like when you meet up or go to a club. If you can’t handle the ‘no’ then the lifestyle is likely not for you. "

Very well said

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By *t my DesiresWoman
over a year ago

Bitchville

Exactly!!

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

You already have verifications, we still in lockdown for now.. try building your social circle by going the organised socials or clubs.. you get back what you put in!! Its a slow process

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im very below average in looks but I've still managed to get 4 messages in 9 months....so stick with it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admit defeat ...

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By *orneytwoCouple
over a year ago

Not far from lichfield

Yep your so right.neen of and on the site over 10 years. Clubs we find have been the answer for us.No fucking about good luck.xx

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Time to admit defeat now,now we are coming out of lockdown I thought it would be easier to make friends and get a meet,but I was wrong lol"

Most people won’t be meeting new people for a good while after all the restrictions are lifted mate, the majority have been sticking to their ‘bubble buddies’, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Take a break from Fab, let the air clear

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Yep your so right.neen of and on the site over 10 years. Clubs we find have been the answer for us.No fucking about good luck.xx"

Clubs are for couples

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South


"I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap."

That's not correct. Some lady's may want those, many of us don't.

Personally, I want someone who makes me laugh, makes me comfortable, appreciated and desirable.

E

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South


"Yep your so right.neen of and on the site over 10 years. Clubs we find have been the answer for us.No fucking about good luck.xx

Clubs are for couples "

Not so.

M has been to many clubs as a single man and enjoyed himself immensely.

E

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There are no clubs in Northern Ireland.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle


"Yep your so right.neen of and on the site over 10 years. Clubs we find have been the answer for us.No fucking about good luck.xx

Clubs are for couples "

I am single and enjoy many different clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its always going to be hard for guys on sites like this for one reason and one reason only the percentages work againts you it has nothig to do with looks or cock size ... its just a fact ... i can when covid is over look for one meet a week for that one meet over the week i will get anything from a 100 to 300 sometimes alot more messages just for one meet so thats going to be alot of no thanks..

also do you guys not read whats wrote as answers to guys questions on looks and dick size ? most women are bothered on dick size and most womem prefer average guys like dad bods .. its been wrote down on fab zillions of times most men ive met are average in dick size and 95% are dad bods..

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I'm not going to repeat all the stuff about how hard it is for guys, the competition, etc. All of the above is true. It's a case of going out to clubs and socials when you can, rather than just trying here. Actually being there and being a decent real person is half the battle won. On here you're just one of thousands of profiles.

A negative attitude though can be a turn off, but I agree it's hard not to get dispirited and disillusioned when you invest a lot of time and effort and get nothing back, not even acknowledgement let alone success.

It's important to be realistic about the site. I've let myself get down about lack of responses in the past, but now my approach is just to loiter around the forums, hopefully show that I'm real and genuine, and interact like this, and hope to meet again at clubs when allowed/appropriate.

In terms of looks, I've said before on other threads - I'm neither abnormally well endowed, nor 'average dad bod'. Without trying to sound self-depreciating, I imagine a lot of people would describe me as 'skinny' or 'scrawny', and it's definitely how I feel when around 'average' build guys at clubs. And yet (and even considering that I'm quite picky) I've ended up playing with some great couples and single women at clubs over the years. So if *I* can, I'm sure most guys can. Its just a case of being there, in the right place with the right people, rather than here where you could be the loveliest most genuine person, but you're just words and text on a screen.

It's easier to say than do, but try not to get too invested in the site by itself, see it as an 'add-on' to the lifestyle, not the fulcrum of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not going to repeat all the stuff about how hard it is for guys, the competition, etc. All of the above is true. It's a case of going out to clubs and socials when you can, rather than just trying here. Actually being there and being a decent real person is half the battle won. On here you're just one of thousands of profiles.

A negative attitude though can be a turn off, but I agree it's hard not to get dispirited and disillusioned when you invest a lot of time and effort and get nothing back, not even acknowledgement let alone success.

It's important to be realistic about the site. I've let myself get down about lack of responses in the past, but now my approach is just to loiter around the forums, hopefully show that I'm real and genuine, and interact like this, and hope to meet again at clubs when allowed/appropriate.

In terms of looks, I've said before on other threads - I'm neither abnormally well endowed, nor 'average dad bod'. Without trying to sound self-depreciating, I imagine a lot of people would describe me as 'skinny' or 'scrawny', and it's definitely how I feel when around 'average' build guys at clubs. And yet (and even considering that I'm quite picky) I've ended up playing with some great couples and single women at clubs over the years. So if *I* can, I'm sure most guys can. Its just a case of being there, in the right place with the right people, rather than here where you could be the loveliest most genuine person, but you're just words and text on a screen.

It's easier to say than do, but try not to get too invested in the site by itself, see it as an 'add-on' to the lifestyle, not the fulcrum of it. "

whiles i agree clubs can be a good thing for guys its most definitely not the scene its a fraction of the scene most people swing from outside the club scene and the social scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap."
no they don’t

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By *orneytwoCouple
over a year ago

Not far from lichfield


"Yep your so right.neen of and on the site over 10 years. Clubs we find have been the answer for us.No fucking about good luck.xx

Clubs are for couples "

Well it's like the UB40 TRACK

your the one in 10 if your a single man at a club.and you the 1 in a 100 online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap. no they don’t "

Exactly,they don't,but why let the facts get in the way of a good whinge

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs


"I'm just average,and none of the ladys want average they want,BBC or men over 8 inches,leaving us older average men on the scrap heap."
Totally untrue for us

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By *orneytwoCouple
over a year ago

Not far from lichfield


"I'm not going to repeat all the stuff about how hard it is for guys, the competition, etc. All of the above is true. It's a case of going out to clubs and socials when you can, rather than just trying here. Actually being there and being a decent real person is half the battle won. On here you're just one of thousands of profiles.

A negative attitude though can be a turn off, but I agree it's hard not to get dispirited and disillusioned when you invest a lot of time and effort and get nothing back, not even acknowledgement let alone success.

It's important to be realistic about the site. I've let myself get down about lack of responses in the past, but now my approach is just to loiter around the forums, hopefully show that I'm real and genuine, and interact like this, and hope to meet again at clubs when allowed/appropriate.

In terms of looks, I've said before on other threads - I'm neither abnormally well endowed, nor 'average dad bod'. Without trying to sound self-depreciating, I imagine a lot of people would describe me as 'skinny' or 'scrawny', and it's definitely how I feel when around 'average' build guys at clubs. And yet (and even considering that I'm quite picky) I've ended up playing with some great couples and single women at clubs over the years. So if *I* can, I'm sure most guys can. Its just a case of being there, in the right place with the right people, rather than here where you could be the loveliest most genuine person, but you're just words and text on a screen.

It's easier to say than do, but try not to get too invested in the site by itself, see it as an 'add-on' to the lifestyle, not the fulcrum of it.

whiles i agree clubs can be a good thing for guys its most definitely not the scene its a fraction of the scene most people swing from outside the club scene and the social scene"

We would love to know how you think most swinging is outside of the clubs.been doing it 17 years and you are way off.click on any 10 profiles on fab.how many of them have meet people.NOT ALL SWINGERS go to clubs but most Do.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"I'm not going to repeat all the stuff about how hard it is for guys, the competition, etc. All of the above is true. It's a case of going out to clubs and socials when you can, rather than just trying here. Actually being there and being a decent real person is half the battle won. On here you're just one of thousands of profiles.

A negative attitude though can be a turn off, but I agree it's hard not to get dispirited and disillusioned when you invest a lot of time and effort and get nothing back, not even acknowledgement let alone success.

It's important to be realistic about the site. I've let myself get down about lack of responses in the past, but now my approach is just to loiter around the forums, hopefully show that I'm real and genuine, and interact like this, and hope to meet again at clubs when allowed/appropriate.

In terms of looks, I've said before on other threads - I'm neither abnormally well endowed, nor 'average dad bod'. Without trying to sound self-depreciating, I imagine a lot of people would describe me as 'skinny' or 'scrawny', and it's definitely how I feel when around 'average' build guys at clubs. And yet (and even considering that I'm quite picky) I've ended up playing with some great couples and single women at clubs over the years. So if *I* can, I'm sure most guys can. Its just a case of being there, in the right place with the right people, rather than here where you could be the loveliest most genuine person, but you're just words and text on a screen.

It's easier to say than do, but try not to get too invested in the site by itself, see it as an 'add-on' to the lifestyle, not the fulcrum of it.

whiles i agree clubs can be a good thing for guys its most definitely not the scene its a fraction of the scene most people swing from outside the club scene and the social scene

We would love to know how you think most swinging is outside of the clubs.been doing it 17 years and you are way off.click on any 10 profiles on fab.how many of them have meet people.NOT ALL SWINGERS go to clubs but most Do."

Not sure that is true but doubt either of us could prove it either way. I (Mr) have been swinging since late 90s and Mrs B since early 00s. Rarely visit clubs (we have of course) but majority of our fun has either been organised parties (Fever, HeavenSX, Killing Kittens), private parties by invite, follow on meets with ppl met at parties and a few private meets (mostly guys) through this and other websites.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I'm not going to repeat all the stuff about how hard it is for guys, the competition, etc. All of the above is true. It's a case of going out to clubs and socials when you can, rather than just trying here. Actually being there and being a decent real person is half the battle won. On here you're just one of thousands of profiles.

A negative attitude though can be a turn off, but I agree it's hard not to get dispirited and disillusioned when you invest a lot of time and effort and get nothing back, not even acknowledgement let alone success.

It's important to be realistic about the site. I've let myself get down about lack of responses in the past, but now my approach is just to loiter around the forums, hopefully show that I'm real and genuine, and interact like this, and hope to meet again at clubs when allowed/appropriate.

In terms of looks, I've said before on other threads - I'm neither abnormally well endowed, nor 'average dad bod'. Without trying to sound self-depreciating, I imagine a lot of people would describe me as 'skinny' or 'scrawny', and it's definitely how I feel when around 'average' build guys at clubs. And yet (and even considering that I'm quite picky) I've ended up playing with some great couples and single women at clubs over the years. So if *I* can, I'm sure most guys can. Its just a case of being there, in the right place with the right people, rather than here where you could be the loveliest most genuine person, but you're just words and text on a screen.

It's easier to say than do, but try not to get too invested in the site by itself, see it as an 'add-on' to the lifestyle, not the fulcrum of it.

whiles i agree clubs can be a good thing for guys its most definitely not the scene its a fraction of the scene most people swing from outside the club scene and the social scene

We would love to know how you think most swinging is outside of the clubs.been doing it 17 years and you are way off.click on any 10 profiles on fab.how many of them have meet people.NOT ALL SWINGERS go to clubs but most Do."

I can confirm all but two of the people I have played with have been outside the club scene, and with reference to your post above, I was one of only four solo guys in the last club I visited, a club full of couples, not interested in solo guys. I'll stick to using Fab to meet genuine people, for genuine fun thanks

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Early days... Some still aren't considering playing until the June date or they've had both vaccines.

Size is irrelevant, I even state this in my profile now. Amazing how many men suddenly become average!

I am still only doing socials until I feel confident enough about the risks. And they've only been in the last few weeks. Zero point before then as I don't want to wait months in-between.

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