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How to say “no” so guys get it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I hate resorting to blocking when guys can’t take no for an answer. I’ve tried deleting.

I’ve tried no response. I’m usually set to private just to avoid the sheer numbers. I’ve tried response with “thanks but no thanks”. Or “it’s not going to work”. Or “you don’t rock my boat”. When they’ve said “ok I just want to be friends” I’ve said “sure but don’t expect anymore” and they inevitably do. I’ve endured barrages of unhinged men messaging every ten minutes....

Is there any right way to say no to a guy on here clearly and undoubtedly without having to turn into a bitch to do it please? I didn’t come on here to be horrible to people but it is getting overwhelming enough to put me off coming on regularly. Thanks.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Sorry to say the block button is the only answer.

We are close to 3000 on ours it just saves the inevitable hassle.

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I am always polite but will not tolerate any bullying or pushy guys who won't accept no for an answer. If they persist they are blocked.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Sorry to hear , I suspect the previous comment about the block button is the only option ...

No matter how you phrase it a no thanks will always be a no thanks.

Don’t let the nutters make you cynical ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry to hear , I suspect the previous comment about the block button is the only option ...

No matter how you phrase it a no thanks will always be a no thanks.

Don’t let the nutters make you cynical ..

"

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

You say in your profile that you will get in touch if you’re interested. You could try Setting tight message filters and sending the first message yourself.

I lowered my age range a week ago as I was participating in a forum thing which was fun but I got soooooo many messages in the hours it was down. I didn’t reply to any but if I had they’d still be able to message me now.

So use your filters to help.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite easily "No"

If that doesn't work - Block button.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks all. Guess I will revisit my filter settings and be more relentless on the block options.

Good lesson for me on protecting my own boundaries too, even if it does make me feel rotten.

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford


"Thanks all. Guess I will revisit my filter settings and be more relentless on the block options.

Good lesson for me on protecting my own boundaries too, even if it does make me feel rotten. "

Don't feel rotten about protecting your own boundaries. A lot of men on here can't take "no" for an answer, and some even reply with abuse when turned down. We always reply with something along the lines "Sorry but you're not for us. Happy Fabbing" followed immediately by block. As that then stops all the "why not", pleading, potential abuse or them trying to get in touch again in the future when they forgot you already told them "no, thank you".

Treat the messages as all the spam mail that comes through your letterbox. You choose which ones you are interested in and then reply, engage in conversation. Those you are not interested in, for whatever reason- either reply with "no, thank you" or similar and block or just block and delete.

Another option is, as it was already said, to put your filters up and only message people you are interested in.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Thanks all. Guess I will revisit my filter settings and be more relentless on the block options.

Good lesson for me on protecting my own boundaries too, even if it does make me feel rotten. "

Why does blocking someone make you feel rotten? It shouldn't be seen as anything personal, it's designed to do the exact job you're inquiring into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block.

This shouldn't be an issue for women who have everything in their favour.

But of course your then cutting off your supply of adulation your highness

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

If I have sent a polite "no thanks" message, & they continue to message being pushy, then I now go straight to block & don't feel bad about it. If they can't take no for an answer to a message then they have confirmed I made the right decision turning them down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

best tool on fab is the block button i just dont understand why some wont use it ?

we all have our reasons for being here but to be abused for saying no thanks ?? i dont bother with the no thanks anymore if im not interested then i block but then im on here to meet and not build a fan club

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole


"Sorry to say the block button is the only answer.

We are close to 3000 on ours it just saves the inevitable hassle."

We counted around 300 on our block list and thought that was a lot. we joke that we will block everyone at one point.

If for what ever reason we don't want to meet soneone, we then block. Saves time coming across the profile in the futer. Although, we have had men who have multi accounts try and sneek in under other profiles. Or they set up new profiles. They get found out, and blocked. If we block, we do it for good reasons. The big one currently is "hnh" on status. We would never play with d*unks lets alone hnh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just send them 'sorry but fuck off' and then block them! That should let them know exactly where that stand!

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By *Ci LutherMan
over a year ago

Cumalot

Guys that can’t take no for an answer blood my piss.. just hope it doesn’t tarr us all with the same brush... i polite no thanks goes a long way for me than a straight block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just block, you dont owe them anything, sounds harsh but sometimes its the best way

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By *ubmissiveman2uMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

Who would have thought it, but yes my block list grows weekly.

No means no, people should accept it and move on, sadly they dont, I have no reservations of using the big BLOCK button......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would not be surprised if im around the 1500 to 2000 range on my block list cant count as they only show the first 2 or 300 but i block for many reasons mainly rude or abusive but also those i have zero interest in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block them quick and efficient

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks all. Guess I will revisit my filter settings and be more relentless on the block options.

Good lesson for me on protecting my own boundaries too, even if it does make me feel rotten. "

This is how I manage it

NBVN x

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

forest

Just say no thanks then block if they persist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ignore them.

If you said,no,there's no need to repeat yourself.Its not rude to ignore someone you have already gave a negative response to

If they want to waste their time arguing the bit,let them crack on,you have said no,they warrant no further response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suppose as in an walk of life there will always be people who don’t take no for an answer. We’ve blocked fair amount and have even had couple of people we have blocked set up new account diff name try again

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

It’s a hard one. As a single woman you must get hundreds of messages all the time and it must be overwhelming.

Filters and blocking is only way really.

We have a “code word” like others. No that doesn’t always work but if it isn’t in subject line we simply delete anyway with no reply.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Say "no thanks" without ambiguity. Don't get involved in explaining why. If you get a follow up message that's anything more than a polite acceptance of your decision, block the person.

You are in control.

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By *oojCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

The block button if pestering,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the tightening of filters and not replying as it can then mean they message months later. It also gives you more time to go looking for who you want yourself.

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Just block, I don't know why people are sensitive about using the feature. If you have said no you are unlikely to be interested in engaging with them and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely block them. Saves wasting both our times in the end.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Never reply. It lets them past any filters you set.

Ignore (you can feel ok about it) the barrage until it irritates you enough then block.

As someone said, you have control.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No different to how guys tell women. A simple "it's unlikely we will hook up" should suffice and if that doesn't work then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No woman is a ‘bitch’ for being assertive... I try to be as kind as I can but have to block when necessary. There’s decent guys on Fab who get riled by misogyny too...no always means no

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

The only sure fire way is sadly the block button !! otherwise they just keep on & on & on & on ...

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport


"Definitely block them. Saves wasting both our times in the end. "

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We reply politely to guys who contact us if they've made some effort to compose a proper message and even if they haven't read our profile (which is 90% of them sadly). To avoid wasting eachother's time again in the future we then block them. We also block anyone who is impolite or has stuff in their profiles/forum posts which we find offputting.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Sorry to say the block button is the only answer.

We are close to 3000 on ours it just saves the inevitable hassle.

We counted around 300 on our block list and thought that was a lot. we joke that we will block everyone at one point.

If for what ever reason we don't want to meet soneone, we then block. Saves time coming across the profile in the futer. Although, we have had men who have multi accounts try and sneek in under other profiles. Or they set up new profiles. They get found out, and blocked. If we block, we do it for good reasons. The big one currently is "hnh" on status. We would never play with d*unks lets alone hnh. "

My nativity perhaps

What’s hnh ?

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By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon


"When they’ve said “ok I just want to be friends” I’ve said “sure but don’t expect anymore” "

Genuine question op. Why would friendship be seen as a consolation prize for a failed attempt to hook up with someone?

If I dont want to fuck you I definitely dont want to ge your 'friend'

I mean he is clearly blowing smoke up your ass with that suggestion so naive acquiescence notwithstanding, I dont understand why you would say yes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate resorting to blocking when guys can’t take no for an answer. I’ve tried deleting.

I’ve tried no response. I’m usually set to private just to avoid the sheer numbers. I’ve tried response with “thanks but no thanks”. Or “it’s not going to work”. Or “you don’t rock my boat”. When they’ve said “ok I just want to be friends” I’ve said “sure but don’t expect anymore” and they inevitably do. I’ve endured barrages of unhinged men messaging every ten minutes....

Is there any right way to say no to a guy on here clearly and undoubtedly without having to turn into a bitch to do it please? I didn’t come on here to be horrible to people but it is getting overwhelming enough to put me off coming on regularly. Thanks."

If block is the only way to stop it then so be it. It doesn't mean you're a bitch for doing it, if you have tried doing it nicely and they don't get it then the big red button is the only way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate resorting to blocking when guys can’t take no for an answer. I’ve tried deleting.

I’ve tried no response. I’m usually set to private just to avoid the sheer numbers. I’ve tried response with “thanks but no thanks”. Or “it’s not going to work”. Or “you don’t rock my boat”. When they’ve said “ok I just want to be friends” I’ve said “sure but don’t expect anymore” and they inevitably do. I’ve endured barrages of unhinged men messaging every ten minutes....

Is there any right way to say no to a guy on here clearly and undoubtedly without having to turn into a bitch to do it please? I didn’t come on here to be horrible to people but it is getting overwhelming enough to put me off coming on regularly. Thanks."

Delete, block if continue is the only way that works. All the men are starting to want to meet now and it is only going to get worse.

I only have a very select small number of friends on Fab - men I am interested to meet and men I like talking to and possibly meet that don't pester. I regularly have a clear out of my friends and if we haven't spoken for a month I delete them.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"I am always polite but will not tolerate any bullying or pushy guys who won't accept no for an answer. If they persist they are blocked. "

This

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By *aulaxd2020TV/TS
over a year ago

Dudley

I just reply to messages with a simple one word answer ie Yes/No/Ok they soon get fed up and move on or possibly end up blocking you, do it without feeling guilty because you never wanted to meet them anyway x

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield

You only get a limit of 500 blocks to use on the general site. I believe you have unlimited blocks to use within the chat rooms although admin have not been entirely clear on how that actually works. So if you’ve reached your limit older profiles you have blocked will become unblocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You only get a limit of 500 blocks to use on the general site. I believe you have unlimited blocks to use within the chat rooms although admin have not been entirely clear on how that actually works. So if you’ve reached your limit older profiles you have blocked will become unblocked. "

well that cant be right im well over 500 and they are all still blocked ??

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

It’s really scary how many men and couples don’t understand “no thank you” isn’t it.

(Can’t speak for women- they don’t message me!)

And the onus gets put on us to have to block them rather than them take responsibility for their own actions.

Thankfully, most of the men on here are great either way!

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"You only get a limit of 500 blocks to use on the general site. I believe you have unlimited blocks to use within the chat rooms although admin have not been entirely clear on how that actually works. So if you’ve reached your limit older profiles you have blocked will become unblocked.

well that cant be right im well over 500 and they are all still blocked ??"

Are you sure? How can you check when you can only view the last 300 you blocked? Admin posted something a few months ago about increasing the limit from 500 but only within the chat rooms. It’s not something they ever advertised before but there is and always has been a limit.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Simple NO why do men not take that and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You only get a limit of 500 blocks to use on the general site. I believe you have unlimited blocks to use within the chat rooms although admin have not been entirely clear on how that actually works. So if you’ve reached your limit older profiles you have blocked will become unblocked.

well that cant be right im well over 500 and they are all still blocked ??

Are you sure? How can you check when you can only view the last 300 you blocked? Admin posted something a few months ago about increasing the limit from 500 but only within the chat rooms. It’s not something they ever advertised before but there is and always has been a limit. "

yes im pretty sure just those blocked in the forums from when i set this profile up still show as blocked they were the first to hit the list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block button is a perfectly acceptable way of filtering. Politely say no and if they ask again hit block.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"Quite easily "No"

If that doesn't work - Block button."

Agree.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"Just block, I don't know why people are sensitive about using the feature. If you have said no you are unlikely to be interested in engaging with them and move on. "

This

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By *eyondhornyMan
over a year ago

Edwardsville

I hate that so many members of my gender on here resort to shitty messages and can't take no for an answer.

I don't get offended if women don't respond and I don't ever message someone unless I have looked in detail at their profile to see if we might get along.

If I got a no thank you or not for me reply, my only response would be no problem, have a great day.

Manners it seem can be in short supply and yet they are still free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to interact with everyone who sends a message. In fact I rarely do. No matter what you say to them or write in your profile they still come runnin don't I know it?!!

As others have said, just block/ignore, you don't owe them anything!

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield

[Yes im pretty sure just those blocked in the forums from when i set this profile up still show as blocked they were the first to hit the list]

I’m curious if you keep a separate list or you can remember all the hundreds you have blocked because there is no way of actually seeing your entire block list on this site, even if you are using the desktop version. If you search ‘block limit’ in the forums you will see the last update from admin confirming you do indeed only have 500 blocks unless in chatrooms. It’s not something they want you to know about as telling you to block and move on is admins answer to everything instead of actually tackling the abuse that goes on within this site.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

[Removed by poster at 13/05/21 12:33:04]

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"Sorry to say the block button is the only answer.

We are close to 3000 on ours it just saves the inevitable hassle."

Where do you find the info showing you’ve blocked 3000 on the site please as block list only shows up to about 300?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea ... but personally, never had a problem! I make my no's not personal though so pretty much irrefutable! Definitely works

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Blocking is the only answer

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx"

Precisely this ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Yes im pretty sure just those blocked in the forums from when i set this profile up still show as blocked they were the first to hit the list]

I’m curious if you keep a separate list or you can remember all the hundreds you have blocked because there is no way of actually seeing your entire block list on this site, even if you are using the desktop version. If you search ‘block limit’ in the forums you will see the last update from admin confirming you do indeed only have 500 blocks unless in chatrooms. It’s not something they want you to know about as telling you to block and move on is admins answer to everything instead of actually tackling the abuse that goes on within this site. "

if you look further up before you posted i stated this that you can only see 2 to 300 as the rest fall off the page yes alot of who i block i can remember for alot were abusive all i can say is there are alot more than 500 on my block list that are still blocked and if you read what others have said they are saying the same ?? why would i make such a silly thing up ?? why are you so keen to think im wrong ? this is my 3rd or 4th profile since ive joined when fab first came to be i remember who was on my previous block list so i could put them on the new one or bit by bit they would pop up and id remember and block again no biggie if i have a very good memory

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^"

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I would never feel bad about using the block button. You are here for good experiences and some guys are giving you that, so block.

I have rarely blocked people because of abusive messages but I do block people I know I am not attracted or that I would never meet. It means they don’t come up in searches etc so my time on here is more positive and rewarding, which is what we all want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Yes im pretty sure just those blocked in the forums from when i set this profile up still show as blocked they were the first to hit the list]

I’m curious if you keep a separate list or you can remember all the hundreds you have blocked because there is no way of actually seeing your entire block list on this site, even if you are using the desktop version. If you search ‘block limit’ in the forums you will see the last update from admin confirming you do indeed only have 500 blocks unless in chatrooms. It’s not something they want you to know about as telling you to block and move on is admins answer to everything instead of actually tackling the abuse that goes on within this site. "

that update was for the chatrooms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just do what women do to me and ignore them

or Block them

if you block them it wouldn't really matter as you don't plan on meeting them anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol "

Yes it's how you answered though ... giving them a right to reply

Sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now is different to sorry, but it's not what I'm looking for!

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes it's how you answered though ... giving them a right to reply

Sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now is different to sorry, but it's not what I'm looking for! "

So I have to lie to people because people don’t understand “your not what I’m looking for” ?

I am looking for something, just not what they offered.

That’s crazy to me x

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

I had a guy message not long ago.

Copy and paste saying he likes my profile, has his own place and looking for good times. He on a straight profile. I replied cheers but don't think you read it. If you did you would see what I'm here for. I got back " I was only starting conversation no need to be such a bitch about it". Its a no win situation. Either ignore and you get the ? ?? Messages..say not what your lokomg for which brings kn the well what are you looking for..well someone that reads my profile for starters..or the why only bi guys. I hate having preferences questioned..or the why csnt you give the regular guys ago its not fair...but then do the messages from people who clearly havnt read your profile deserve a response at all even if it's no?

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol "

Yes, we get "that's a shame we could have had fun"

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes, we get "that's a shame we could have had fun" "

Hahaha sooo often!

Well no, it’s not a shame for me or I’d have carried on the convo!! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes it's how you answered though ... giving them a right to reply

Sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now is different to sorry, but it's not what I'm looking for!

So I have to lie to people because people don’t understand “your not what I’m looking for” ?

I am looking for something, just not what they offered.

That’s crazy to me x"

It's not lying per se, more about being irrefutable! I answer virtually all my messages, control my profile absolutely and really haven't had any abuse ever for years! The odd one but that just says more about them personally! It does and can work ...

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes, we get "that's a shame we could have had fun"

Hahaha sooo often!

Well no, it’s not a shame for me or I’d have carried on the convo!! Lol x"

Lol that's what we always think,

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes it's how you answered though ... giving them a right to reply

Sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now is different to sorry, but it's not what I'm looking for!

So I have to lie to people because people don’t understand “your not what I’m looking for” ?

I am looking for something, just not what they offered.

That’s crazy to me x

It's not lying per se, more about being irrefutable! I answer virtually all my messages, control my profile absolutely and really haven't had any abuse ever for years! The odd one but that just says more about them personally! It does and can work ... "

I get where your coming from... it just annoys me that we have to act like that cos certain people have no control lol! X

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By *iberty RedWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I say a polite no thank you once, write a note on their profile & if they message again I don't even open their message, just delete.

Only had to block someone once when he literally messaged me over 50 messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, nada, nein, nahi, no way Jose, nah, non.

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

Just block. Plus guys, use block too if you get knocked back and can't remember exactly who you sent that copy and paste messege to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We always say " thanks for the message but sorry we are not looking for new people at the moment but we do hope you find what you are looking for" this says no without makeing it personal, and we never get any abuse, xx

Precisely this ^^^

So do I.

I don’t get abuse as such. But more often than not it’s never just left at that.

If I politely say it’s not what I’m looking for, I guarantee I get a response offering me anything I want!

Not abusive, just annoying lol

Yes it's how you answered though ... giving them a right to reply

Sorry, but I'm not looking for anything right now is different to sorry, but it's not what I'm looking for!

So I have to lie to people because people don’t understand “your not what I’m looking for” ?

I am looking for something, just not what they offered.

That’s crazy to me x

It's not lying per se, more about being irrefutable! I answer virtually all my messages, control my profile absolutely and really haven't had any abuse ever for years! The odd one but that just says more about them personally! It does and can work ...

I get where your coming from... it just annoys me that we have to act like that cos certain people have no control lol! X"

Absolutely get that ... but I like a quiet life, no drama and (wish lol) everyone could just get on! Here IS very personal ... that's where it all falls down!

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"that update was for the chatrooms "

Nope it was bought in because many female users of the site complained there was a limit on the number of blocks, it was 500 site wide. Now they’ve extended it to unlimited but ONLY in the chatrooms (although they are unable to actually explain how it works) You still have a limit. If you are unsure message admin they will confirm blocks are not unlimited. Or read the other threads that came up when you searched ‘block limit’ it says it very clearly in them.

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"

if you look further up before you posted i stated this that you can only see 2 to 300 as the rest fall off the page yes alot of who i block i can remember for alot were abusive all i can say is there are alot more than 500 on my block list that are still blocked and if you read what others have said they are saying the same ?? why would i make such a silly thing up ?? why are you so keen to think im wrong ? this is my 3rd or 4th profile since ive joined when fab first came to be i remember who was on my previous block list so i could put them on the new one or bit by bit they would pop up and id remember and block again no biggie if i have a very good memory"

I’m not keen to think you are wrong. It is a fact, if you email admin they will confirm that blocks are not unlimited. I was just letting users know there is a limit on the number of blocks because many veterans of this site don’t even know that.

Therefore all the replies saying just block them aren’t really accurate.

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Perhaps a forum mod could confirm if there are indeed unlimited blocks site wide or if it’s just in the chatrooms. Hopefully that will clear it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

snap ive had to resort to completely rewriting my profile, and at times hiding my profile. even putting it clear on my status,

have tried blocking and saying no ignoring and reporting and still guys dont understand,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont understand guys who can't understand No. You aren't gods gift or anything.

Too many people who think there amazing and don't handle rejection which is a serious red flag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

if you look further up before you posted i stated this that you can only see 2 to 300 as the rest fall off the page yes alot of who i block i can remember for alot were abusive all i can say is there are alot more than 500 on my block list that are still blocked and if you read what others have said they are saying the same ?? why would i make such a silly thing up ?? why are you so keen to think im wrong ? this is my 3rd or 4th profile since ive joined when fab first came to be i remember who was on my previous block list so i could put them on the new one or bit by bit they would pop up and id remember and block again no biggie if i have a very good memory

I’m not keen to think you are wrong. It is a fact, if you email admin they will confirm that blocks are not unlimited. I was just letting users know there is a limit on the number of blocks because many veterans of this site don’t even know that.

Therefore all the replies saying just block them aren’t really accurate."

then i and 1000s of others have broken block list that dont have a limit thats all i can say if thats the case .. i dont use the chatrooms

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"

then i and 1000s of others have broken block list that dont have a limit thats all i can say if thats the case .. i dont use the chatrooms"

You really haven’t. The chances are some of the 100’s you have blocked have left the site therefore you are still within the 500 limit. When you start using the chatrooms and are blocking people every minute you quickly reach this limit and start to see older profiles become unblocked. Like I said, ask admin to confirm how many blocks each member gets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also just simple maths my end will say ive well over 500 since covid i can block up to 10 profiles a day sometimes more so that 70 plus a week at one point so ive gone well over the 500 and as i said i know for a fact that that the ones that went on early are still on the block list so for those of us that use the block button fab must be broke if the limits are not kicking in

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"also just simple maths my end will say ive well over 500 since covid i can block up to 10 profiles a day sometimes more so that 70 plus a week at one point so ive gone well over the 500 and as i said i know for a fact that that the ones that went on early are still on the block list so for those of us that use the block button fab must be broke if the limits are not kicking in"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are a great looking bloke/ woman/ couple.

Sorry but we aren't compatible.

Hope you find someone nice. X

.

.

If they can't take no for an answer you shouldn't be meeting them anyway as they are clearly a danger to women. So delete and/ or block.

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport


"

then i and 1000s of others have broken block list that dont have a limit thats all i can say if thats the case .. i dont use the chatrooms

You really haven’t. The chances are some of the 100’s you have blocked have left the site therefore you are still within the 500 limit. When you start using the chatrooms and are blocking people every minute you quickly reach this limit and start to see older profiles become unblocked. Like I said, ask admin to confirm how many blocks each member gets. "

Older blokes become unblocked automatically?? That's ageist!!

Are you actually saying older blocks become unbloked leaving them with no balls?

I better run off before I get chased off with a block of wood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG! Are you lot still debating this. As said previously just block and move on.

As if that never crossed your mind!.... Shakes head in disbelief

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"also just simple maths my end will say ive well over 500 since covid i can block up to 10 profiles a day sometimes more so that 70 plus a week at one point so ive gone well over the 500 and as i said i know for a fact that that the ones that went on early are still on the block list so for those of us that use the block button fab must be broke if the limits are not kicking in"

There is no limit, we too have blocked thousands. We automatically block any user with a cock pic avatar because we have no interest in engaging with them. As you said before, you can only see the last few hundred that you've blocked, but they go way beyond that.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Just block, saves your and their time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly let me say, I am not surprised that the block button gets used so frequently. It’s sad that many guys egos won’t stand up to a respectful no.

For me, if someone has taken the time to say no thanks, I will always respond with a note to st thank you and all the best.

It does make me sad however they I get blocked because of the harassment of other idiots.

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By *arriLadMan
over a year ago

North West

Definte red flag if someone can't accept no the first time, Block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate getting repeat and copy and paste messages. Also when guys message from Miles away asking for meets. Hate the block button but deffo started to use it more x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just block.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"

then i and 1000s of others have broken block list that dont have a limit thats all i can say if thats the case .. i dont use the chatrooms

You really haven’t. The chances are some of the 100’s you have blocked have left the site therefore you are still within the 500 limit. When you start using the chatrooms and are blocking people every minute you quickly reach this limit and start to see older profiles become unblocked. Like I said, ask admin to confirm how many blocks each member gets. "

Maybe you can just say where you got this information from, then everyone can check for themselves. But if they don't say anywhere on the site about the block list how do you know about it?

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By *urygent1Man
over a year ago

North West

If they are that thick or disrespectful then just block.

I had someone pushing for a meet the other week and in the end just blocked.

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By *rs BxxWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.

The volume of messages women are getting at the moment are ridiculous. Guys see that a women is on line so chance their luck. They don't bother to read a profile, I mean, why should they? This is a "sex site" after all. Blocking is the only way to stop the persistent begging to be given a chance.

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"

There is no limit, we too have blocked thousands. We automatically block any user with a cock pic avatar because we have no interest in engaging with them. As you said before, you can only see the last few hundred that you've blocked, but they go way beyond that. "

There is a limit. It was a huge issue a few months ago hence admin eventually giving in and changing it to unlimited blocks in the chatrooms only. Please search the forums for ‘block limits’ and you will see there has been a few threads on this.

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield

[Removed by poster at 13/05/21 16:42:34]

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By *nique_GymMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The thing I find fascinating is how being on here seems to remove the basics of communication and polite protocols when speaking to women.

Would these chaps who send a couple of word messages with a picture of their Johnson to a woman or couple approach a woman in a pub for example with their knob hanging out and just say ‘fancy a fuck’ then when the lady says no, call them fat and ugly while they tuck their knob away. Then repeat the same action every 20 minutes until the publican throws them out? Lol

For my partner she has a rather long profile text, if an individual hasn’t read it she ignores it. If the chap has read it, and constructed a well thought out message if she doesn’t like them she will say thank you for a lovely message, not my type but good luck. Thankfully she hasn’t had the sort of negative replies some contributors have.

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By *riffyMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"

Maybe you can just say where you got this information from, then everyone can check for themselves. But if they don't say anywhere on the site about the block list how do you know about it? "

There is no information on the site about how many blocks you have, how do others know it’s unlimited?

Admin confirmed it to me and other members a few months ago when it became a real problem in the chatrooms. A campaign was launched by some of the popular female cammers because of the level of abuse they were getting in chat and they were being told by the mods to ‘block and move on’ then noticed previous blocked profiles were suddenly becoming unblocked, admin admitted they were limited to 500 and eventually agreed to make them unlimited in chat rooms only. Why would I make this up? The only way you can find out for sure is using the contact form because nowhere on the site does it mention how many blocks you have, that’s the only route you can take if you want actual proof.

I only mentioned it because it’s misleading to think you have unlimited blocks when you haven’t.

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By *rs BxxWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.


"The thing I find fascinating is how being on here seems to remove the basics of communication and polite protocols when speaking to women.

Would these chaps who send a couple of word messages with a picture of their Johnson to a woman or couple approach a woman in a pub for example with their knob hanging out and just say ‘fancy a fuck’ then when the lady says no, call them fat and ugly while they tuck their knob away. Then repeat the same action every 20 minutes until the publican throws them out? Lol

For my partner she has a rather long profile text, if an individual hasn’t read it she ignores it. If the chap has read it, and constructed a well thought out message if she doesn’t like them she will say thank you for a lovely message, not my type but good luck. Thankfully she hasn’t had the sort of negative replies some contributors have. "

In the words of these types "Well it is a sex site, don't you want to see what you're going to have?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks all. Guess I will revisit my filter settings and be more relentless on the block options.

Good lesson for me on protecting my own boundaries too, even if it does make me feel rotten.

Don't feel rotten about protecting your own boundaries. A lot of men on here can't take "no" for an answer, and some even reply with abuse when turned down. We always reply with something along the lines "Sorry but you're not for us. Happy Fabbing" followed immediately by block. As that then stops all the "why not", pleading, potential abuse or them trying to get in touch again in the future when they forgot you already told them "no, thank you".

Treat the messages as all the spam mail that comes through your letterbox. You choose which ones you are interested in and then reply, engage in conversation. Those you are not interested in, for whatever reason- either reply with "no, thank you" or similar and block or just block and delete.

Another option is, as it was already said, to put your filters up and only message people you are interested in. "
it’s not just men who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just block them. They are parasites The function is best way to get it home

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By *rs BxxWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.


"The thing I find fascinating is how being on here seems to remove the basics of communication and polite protocols when speaking to women.

Would these chaps who send a couple of word messages with a picture of their Johnson to a woman or couple approach a woman in a pub for example with their knob hanging out and just say ‘fancy a fuck’ then when the lady says no, call them fat and ugly while they tuck their knob away. Then repeat the same action every 20 minutes until the publican throws them out? Lol

For my partner she has a rather long profile text, if an individual hasn’t read it she ignores it. If the chap has read it, and constructed a well thought out message if she doesn’t like them she will say thank you for a lovely message, not my type but good luck. Thankfully she hasn’t had the sort of negative replies some contributors have.

In the words of these types "Well it is a sex site, don't you want to see what you're going to have?""

Since I wrote this I've had several sad guys sending me pics of their cocks with the text "well it is a sex site" just shows the mentality of some of them.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth


"The thing I find fascinating is how being on here seems to remove the basics of communication and polite protocols when speaking to women.

Would these chaps who send a couple of word messages with a picture of their Johnson to a woman or couple approach a woman in a pub for example with their knob hanging out and just say ‘fancy a fuck’ then when the lady says no, call them fat and ugly while they tuck their knob away. Then repeat the same action every 20 minutes until the publican throws them out? Lol

For my partner she has a rather long profile text, if an individual hasn’t read it she ignores it. If the chap has read it, and constructed a well thought out message if she doesn’t like them she will say thank you for a lovely message, not my type but good luck. Thankfully she hasn’t had the sort of negative replies some contributors have.

In the words of these types "Well it is a sex site, don't you want to see what you're going to have?"

Since I wrote this I've had several sad guys sending me pics of their cocks with the text "well it is a sex site" just shows the mentality of some of them."

I think some of these people are just trolls ..they get a kick out of being rude to people in the online world where they can’t be held acountable...

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By *verready5000Man
over a year ago

mansfield

No is good enough for me!

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By *rs BxxWoman
over a year ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.


"The thing I find fascinating is how being on here seems to remove the basics of communication and polite protocols when speaking to women.

Would these chaps who send a couple of word messages with a picture of their Johnson to a woman or couple approach a woman in a pub for example with their knob hanging out and just say ‘fancy a fuck’ then when the lady says no, call them fat and ugly while they tuck their knob away. Then repeat the same action every 20 minutes until the publican throws them out? Lol

For my partner she has a rather long profile text, if an individual hasn’t read it she ignores it. If the chap has read it, and constructed a well thought out message if she doesn’t like them she will say thank you for a lovely message, not my type but good luck. Thankfully she hasn’t had the sort of negative replies some contributors have.

In the words of these types "Well it is a sex site, don't you want to see what you're going to have?"

Since I wrote this I've had several sad guys sending me pics of their cocks with the text "well it is a sex site" just shows the mentality of some of them.

I think some of these people are just trolls ..they get a kick out of being rude to people in the online world where they can’t be held acountable..."

More added to the ever growing block list.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If I can see someone has read my profile, I reply even with a no thanks. If its obvious they haven't, I have no guilt deleting their message, if they send a shirty reply, instant block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block delete block delete. Unfortunately it’s the only way forward with some people.

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BLOCK.

There is simply no other way.

It’s the worse I’ve seen this site!!!!!! On the verge of just blocking all single man

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By *rMrs84Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Sorry to say the block button is the only answer.

We are close to 3000 on ours it just saves the inevitable hassle."

Agreed. And ultimately if they can’t take a no on fab I’m not going to risk them not understanding it in real life.

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

I say no thanks and a polite decline, if they leave it at that no problem, any hint of not taking no for an answer I block..

But having said that I only occasionally speak to gents if they message from a couples profile, single guys are blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Always block if they cant accept a thank you but no thank you type of message x

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By *zlakMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Manners are free and if they can't use them they deserve to get blocked.

And to pester people is just wrong! NO means exactly what is supposed to mean

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I hate resorting to blocking when guys can’t take no for an answer."

Why? Do you feel it's impolite?

How impolite is it to not take no for an answer. Blocking is the only option

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work "

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

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By *Ci LutherMan
over a year ago

Cumalot

Come on guys grown a pair.., if they are not interested take it on the chin and get over it ..

Couples/ladies a polite no thank is welcome and guys you should accept that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a man I would much prefer to be blocked if there is nothing in my profile that appeals to you or my first message didn't make the grade.

I'm mature enough to know no reply means no and thats the end of it, but I don't get upset or think anything less of anyone who blocks me as I know they are using the tools available.

Don't worry about sparing someone's feelings when you block them as far better they feel miffed for an hour, have a wank then widen their search by 10 miles, rather than you feeling bad when the (sadly predictable) tirade and pleading / bullying starts.

Block away! It's liberating!

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

"

That's a bit scary

I'm rather glad I dont get these mad angry messages...I would say in real life , in socials and clubs, certainly in ones I have been to, the guys are generally pleasant and charming and behave well...

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

That's a bit scary

I'm rather glad I dont get these mad angry messages...I would say in real life , in socials and clubs, certainly in ones I have been to, the guys are generally pleasant and charming and behave well..."

Absolutely agree! Never met a dodgy one in real life lol.

I hate the rep single guys get in clubs! I’ve only ever had the best times! X

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"

Maybe you can just say where you got this information from, then everyone can check for themselves. But if they don't say anywhere on the site about the block list how do you know about it?

There is no information on the site about how many blocks you have, how do others know it’s unlimited?

Admin confirmed it to me and other members a few months ago when it became a real problem in the chatrooms. A campaign was launched by some of the popular female cammers because of the level of abuse they were getting in chat and they were being told by the mods to ‘block and move on’ then noticed previous blocked profiles were suddenly becoming unblocked, admin admitted they were limited to 500 and eventually agreed to make them unlimited in chat rooms only. Why would I make this up? The only way you can find out for sure is using the contact form because nowhere on the site does it mention how many blocks you have, that’s the only route you can take if you want actual proof.

I only mentioned it because it’s misleading to think you have unlimited blocks when you haven’t. "

I didn't say you'd made it up. Just asked if it was referenced anywhere instead of all the he said/she said. But then i imagine you would of pointed it out anyway if that were the case. I imagine admin are gonna be busy with the same question now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over 600 blocked for me on here.

I have a ranty arsey profile to keep the cockwankers away..

If you find the answer ..please share

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

That's a bit scary

I'm rather glad I dont get these mad angry messages...I would say in real life , in socials and clubs, certainly in ones I have been to, the guys are generally pleasant and charming and behave well...

Absolutely agree! Never met a dodgy one in real life lol.

I hate the rep single guys get in clubs! I’ve only ever had the best times! X "

I've had the fortune to mainly go to chams and the atmosphere on most fridays is fantastic ...contrary to popular perception single guys generally are the more sociable and good fun ...they have to be...and the socials I have been to the single guys were very popular...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block, I don't know why people are sensitive about using the feature. If you have said no you are unlikely to be interested in engaging with them and move on. "

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

At least people try to communicate.

How would you feel if no one did or deleted you all the time?

But never fear with me. I block anyone who deletes me. That way I don't waste my valuable time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

"

Absolutely. We can’t all find each other attractive. Just because you don’t find them attractive doesn’t mean you should treat their approaches with contempt. Simply ignore them or block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmm reading all the replies on here and it’s quite off putting how most replies (bar the few decent ones who have pointed out that they also meet decent men on here) give the impression that men are inbox pests. When in reality couples and single females are just as persistent. Ignoring people cost you nothing and is zero effort. And if it’s unappealing to your eyes, block them. Don’t make it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s how social sites work

I think that’s only cos more women have responded though. I doubt doubt women and couples are as bad, I got told to watch my back earlier from the male of a couple for saying no lol.

There’s crazy on all sites lol

That's a bit scary

I'm rather glad I dont get these mad angry messages...I would say in real life , in socials and clubs, certainly in ones I have been to, the guys are generally pleasant and charming and behave well...

Absolutely agree! Never met a dodgy one in real life lol.

I hate the rep single guys get in clubs! I’ve only ever had the best times! X "

I don’t get this rep either because the club nights I have attended, single guys are so full of banter and easy going. Couples on the other hand tend to be rather cold if they are not trying to get in your pants.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Golden winder your profile is hilarious! I tried to write privately to tell you but you had women blocked. Made me chortle and seem quite tame in comparison!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always appreciate a polite no thank you. The simple delete is disappointing especially when you put time into writing a message that clearly shows you have read a profile. If it’s a no, I tend to block the profile just to remind myself too.

But I guess it’s down to the pushy people.

Wish more people would respect the boundaries of fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Homer Simpson guide to responding to messages. Dumpville: population: you

Also, I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.

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