FabSwingers.com forum: Respecting people who do not want to do bareback sex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don’t normally rant about this, as i feel its a case of each to their own and we’re all responsible adults.

I have nothing against bareback sex, in the right situation with the right singular regular person i have engaged in and enjoyed it. I understand that even with protection some STI’s can still be caught.

On fab though if someone states they only do safe sex during meets or states on their profile they do not engage in bareback sex, why oh why would you endeavour to contact that person be it by wink, message or friend request?

I don’t understand the logic surely as someone who is proud of bareback activities you would seek people who would be more aligned with that activity....

Maybe i’m being oversensitive and a simple block and move on is all thats required.

Rant over.

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By *arc and KamaCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

To be honest it is more about people forcing you to so BB.

We are just angry getting messages if we are happy to BB.

In our profile states that we do not do it.

Then two guys sent us messages charging us that we are xxxxxx because we did not respond on theirs stupid questions but just deleted it.

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I don’t normally rant about this, as i feel its a case of each to their own and we’re all responsible adults.

I don’t understand the logic surely as someone who is proud of bareback activities you would seek people who would be more aligned with that activity....

Maybe i’m being oversensitive and a simple block and move on is all thats required.

Rant over. "

Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wheres the popcorn emoji .."

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion?

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion? "

It might not be your intention but just wait ...lol.

Although no-one else has jumped in yet

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion? "

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you wondering why people don't read profiles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s a tricky issue OP. I’m on your page. I have unprotected sex with one single person, it’s not something that’s an option for me when having recreational sex. Of course there are still risks with condom use, but that risk is far reduced if everyone involved always uses condoms with each partner.

I think some people on here say they’re into safe sex, but in reality don’t play that way, so people will still chance their arm.

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By *arc and KamaCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

Over-rated for men, but not so over rated for women. The can end up with getting pregnant.

Not all the women prefer pills or contraceptive rings, implants etc.

Also, you never know who you meet in the club and if he is healthy 100%

Of course we all must accept some form of risk anyway when playing with the strangers.

It is more about minimise it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex overrated !!

HPV virus causes cervical cancer, Sti to name a few, incurable herpes. Unwanted pregnancies. HIV Clamidia but hey all overrated !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bareback is always one of the most contentious subjects on fab. The safe only and bareback only groups clearly don't mix that well, although there are plenty of people happy either way.

I've recommended more than once in the site feedback forum that they add something to the profiles to allow people to be more specific and search out or filter out those they do or don't share the same interest. If they added it as in interest that would be a start. It would be even better if it were a person attribute (like gender or body type) that you could then filter on. Three options: safe only, bareback only, don't mind. Maybe a 4th option for totally unprotected.

The forum debates would still rage but it might cut out some of the time wasting of talking and arranging meets to then discover one wants bare and the other doesn't do it xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s a tricky issue OP. I’m on your page. I have unprotected sex with one single person, it’s not something that’s an option for me when having recreational sex. Of course there are still risks with condom use, but that risk is far reduced if everyone involved always uses condoms with each partner.

I think some people on here say they’re into safe sex, but in reality don’t play that way, so people will still chance their arm. "

Your last point is spot on imho.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bareback is always one of the most contentious subjects on fab. The safe only and bareback only groups clearly don't mix that well, although there are plenty of people happy either way.

The forum debates would still rage but it might cut out some of the time wasting of talking and arranging meets to then discover one wants bare and the other doesn't do it xx"

Well said! It would certainly calm choppy waters. I guess people would still lie and try to keep all the options open by proclaiming one thing but doing something else in messages or on meets. Certainly at a glance you could filter by this choice rather than sifting through a profile bio for the info.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4 condoms on and always pull out then a good 5 min soak in bleach finish of with wire brush can never be to safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people on here say they’re into safe sex, but in reality don’t play that way, so people will still chance their arm.

Your last point is spot on imho. "

Yeah. I can't and won't name them, but I've had BB sex with several "safe only" people on here. And I've got plenty of offers in my inbox from others. I've said the same on other threads, more, if not the majority, play bareback regardless of that they say publicly. Just watch the hot vids lol xx

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Safe sex overrated !!

HPV virus causes cervical cancer, Sti to name a few, incurable herpes. Unwanted pregnancies. HIV Clamidia but hey all overrated !

I meant that it isn't 100% safe . You can catch most of your list from unprotected oral . I didn't say safe sex is pointless...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion?

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

So the popcorn comment was more because you have an opposing opinion and think others may? Remember the OP isn’t about whether BB is right or wrong. It’s about why someone wanting BB would contact someone who clearly doesn’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t normally rant about this, as i feel its a case of each to their own and we’re all responsible adults.

I don’t understand the logic surely as someone who is proud of bareback activities you would seek people who would be more aligned with that activity....

Maybe i’m being oversensitive and a simple block and move on is all thats required.

Rant over. "

I really wouldn’t worry. Do what you have to do and leave others to make their own decisions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion?

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

These posts are akin to the monty python sketch on how long do you want to argue. The post is specific to one persons experience that will be echoed by another or draw popcorn comments. Personally I always go for the half hour argument option.

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion?

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

You assume wrongly about my opinion...threads regarding bareback always decend into bitchiness and finger pointing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like this could be the full hour argument!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest it is more about people forcing you to so BB.

We are just angry getting messages if we are happy to BB.

In our profile states that we do not do it.

Then two guys sent us messages charging us that we are xxxxxx because we did not respond on theirs stupid questions but just deleted it."

This one .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wheres the popcorn emoji ..

Popcorn implies my post will become inflammatory which isn't the intention. Just a question about logic....

Whats your opinion?

My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge

You assume wrongly about my opinion...threads regarding bareback always decend into bitchiness and finger pointing."

This isn’t a thread about BB though really. It just includes it. It’s about reading profiles. You actually made the assumption it was a thread about BB with your “My opinion ... safe sex is over rated . Not totally safe , just safer. Each to their own, I won't judge” comment. That wasn’t the answer to the OPs question

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Remember the OP isn’t about whether BB is right or wrong. It’s about why someone wanting BB would contact someone who clearly doesn’t. "

Very correct!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/05/21 06:49:41]

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By *incsladyandscotsmanCouple
over a year ago

North fife

I would state that the main issue is that people just view pictures on fab and wink and message on the basis of what they see.

Reading someone's profile is hard work it seems. That's where the issue lies.

Example, we viewed the ops pictures... We really liked them, then read the profile.... We then compare that against what we want.... If we feel there is a match we wink or message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also point out to those who like to sneakily remove condoms during sex. This is a r*pe crime, so don't be that guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a rant as I see it.

Just something that bugs you.

Stay safe lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would also point out to those who like to sneakily remove condoms during sex. This is a r*pe crime, so don't be that guy."

Or cumming inside when you've been told you need to pull out! It's not a joke xx

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Very often we get offers for things we’re not looking for. It’s part and parcel when it comes to fab. It’s easy to take offence due to their sheer ignorance and belief that what we want doesn’t apply to them.

In the case of BB we’d rather play safe as I don’t fancy having a kid nevermind catching something, so we just pass those by who prefer not to bag up.

Just block and delete and move on, then everyone lives happily ever after.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

As a specific example it feels like an odd one. BB is a specific, and controversial, choice so you'd think that those people would be super hot on looking at references to it on profiles. Although maybe I'm tarring every BB fan with the same brush, and some don't think about it intelligently at all!

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Just because they enjoy BB doesn’t mean they can’t be into people who play safe too does it?

I mean if they are messaging and asking for BB when your profile is clear then obviously it’s just rude- but that said about everything and not reading profiles in general.

I don’t play bare, but I’ve met men who have played bare elsewhere but played safe with me.

Just the same as any interest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a specific example it feels like an odd one. BB is a specific, and controversial, choice so you'd think that those people would be super hot on looking at references to it on profiles. Although maybe I'm tarring every BB fan with the same brush, and some don't think about it intelligently at all! "

I'm well aware of the risks, I've even researched infection rates and prevalence statistics. I know my changes of getting a STD and getting pregnant. It's I concern I won't deny it, but they're my risks to take xx

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Oh absolutely. I think it's far more nuanced subject than most people paint it as.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

People hope you will change your mind just for them. I've never understood why anyone would do something with a stranger than they would with anyone else, so why they ask is strange.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"I don’t normally rant about this, as i feel its a case of each to their own and we’re all responsible adults.

I don’t understand the logic surely as someone who is proud of bareback activities you would seek people who would be more aligned with that activity....

Maybe i’m being oversensitive and a simple block and move on is all thats required.

Rant over. "

You’re being over sensitive. You’re not obliged to read / reply / spend time on such posts. We state we’re not looking for single guys. If we get a message from them we ignore them. Have never felt the need to start a post about it though. Life is too short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh absolutely. I think it's far more nuanced subject than most people paint it as. "

It's certainly not the death sentence a lot of people think. You'd still have to be quite unlucky, and many are easily curable (but certainly not all). Prep is a big factor too. Tbh I think it's more likely I'd get pregnant, but again the chances are fairly low xx

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By *REYTIMBERWOLFMan
over a year ago

reading

half the catholic population have tried and failed on pulling out. it doesn't work.

even precum has sperm in it.

this is a pointless exercise.

if you dont want semen in a vagina (or potential STI, then a blow job is far less likely to get you preggars but just as risky re STIs....) if you are happy to go bareback and say dont cum in me, one hasnt grasped it only takes one spermatosa to butt fuck your next 9 months.

its really simple. if one says safe sex, there is only one conclusion to be drawn. if you say bareback is ok then everyone knows the score. the two are not compatible. anyone who removes a condom without express consent is a moron as a minimum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"half the catholic population have tried and failed on pulling out. it doesn't work.

even precum has sperm in it.

this is a pointless exercise.

I've relied on the pull out method before and it's worked fine. It's a lot less reliable that medical contraceptives but almost as reliable as condoms if you do it correctly, many people don't! I've got friends and family members that rely on it too without kids yet. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Condom use should be the starting ASSUMPTION, after which personal choice comes into the discussion. In my wiew.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

If it's people that you truly trust and know then I suppose it should be OK.

Personally we wouldn't do it in a club etc. Just imagine if you catch something (guys) and pass it on potentially making someone infertile, that would be horrible.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Because people are self serving, and often more interested in their wants/needs than other peoples.

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By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"Safe sex overrated !!

HPV virus causes cervical cancer, Sti to name a few, incurable herpes. Unwanted pregnancies. HIV Clamidia but hey all overrated !

I meant that it isn't 100% safe . You can catch most of your list from unprotected oral . I didn't say safe sex is pointless..."

The risk of cervical cancer via HPV and unwanted pregnancies... both definitely not caused via oral sex. So yes the STI risk is present if you engage in oral without, but the other 2 main risk factors they were talking about (that are specially only a risk to the female) are due to unprotected penetrative sex.

We are all grown ups here and can make our decisions about what we do with other consenting adults. But let’s not try to pretend these aren’t genuine risk factors to be considered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"half the catholic population have tried and failed on pulling out. it doesn't work.

even precum has sperm in it.

this is a pointless exercise.

Anyone who removes a condom without express consent is a rapist and can be prosecuted.

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"4 condoms on and always pull out then a good 5 min soak in bleach finish of with wire brush can never be to safe. "

You missed the acid dip after the wire brush buddy lol

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"I don’t normally rant about this, as i feel its a case of each to their own and we’re all responsible adults.

I don’t understand the logic surely as someone who is proud of bareback activities you would seek people who would be more aligned with that activity....

Maybe i’m being oversensitive and a simple block and move on is all thats required.

Rant over. "

As others have said it's prob too lazy to read the profile or you can make an exception for me can't you it will be fine scenario. Like lots of other Do's and dont's on people's profiles some think they don't apply to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because people are self serving, and often more interested in their wants/needs than other peoples."

Thanks

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