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Are women that cheat on there husband and there lover really swingers ?

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By *hyguy 43 OP   Man
over a year ago

Swansea

[Removed by poster at 12/08/12 03:51:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?

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By *hyguy 43 OP   Man
over a year ago

Swansea

As the title says. I would love to hear your _iews x

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By *hyguy 43 OP   Man
over a year ago

Swansea


"If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?"

Yes they are cheats but can they class themselves as swingers ?

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I refuse to get drawn into this debate, if like me your married and your here, it's by choice. Just like its your choice too meet me.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

people can class themselves anyway they choose... we are all on a swingers site looking to meet other people on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I refuse to get drawn into this debate, if like me your married and your here, it's by choice. Just like its your choice too meet me.

"

Seems to me that you have already been "drawn" in.

.

I do wonder why the question specifies women though? Surely the question would apply to both genders?

Spellcheck would be useful as well.

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

It is early, lol x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?

Yes they are cheats but can they class themselves as swingers ?"

We'll as the swingers classification board and get back to you

Anyone can class themselves a swinger. If you think they are not then don't swing with them!

Some people think single men and women shouldn't call themselves swingers but I do. Am I right or am I wrong?

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By *damandeve4funCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I would answer, but the sentence does not make grammatical sense even if you substitute there for their...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...........if like me your married and your here, it's by choice. Just like its your choice too meet me.

"

Hear hear!!

There will always be those who don't want to understand, those who moralise without having a clue, and obviously those who simply don't know what goes on behind your closed door!

But it's none of their business anyway, so carry on regardless!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"people can class themselves anyway they choose... we are all on a swingers site looking to meet other people on a swingers site."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading your profile i think im just going to go and have a good cry.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 12/08/12 08:29:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I refuse to get drawn into this debate, if like me your married and your here, it's by choice. Just like its your choice too meet me.

Seems to me that you have already been "drawn" in.

.

I do wonder why the question specifies women though? Surely the question would apply to both genders?

Spellcheck would be useful as well."

Normally the threads are about men so the OP is balancing things up

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I would answer, but the sentence does not make grammatical sense even if you substitute there for their..."

But could you answer the question despite the grammatical errors? This isn't a spelling and grammar site.....people aren't perfect English scholars. As long as the general question is understood there is no need for the English lesson IMO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After reading your profile i think im just going to go and have a good cry. "

Omg I just read it!

Wonder if this thread is about her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And to the OP, having since read your profile, I can understand your sentiments having recently lost a special lady myself, although in different circumstances!

But.......... and you probably won't like this, you shouldn't be directing your wrath at this guy. Assuming that he didn't kidnap your ladyfriend, she went willingly! I do believe that just as it takes 2 to make a relationship, it also takes 2 to break it!! So stand back and have a closer look nearer home!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"After reading your profile i think im just going to go and have a good cry.

Omg I just read it!

Wonder if this thread is about her."

Whilst it is very sad that his partner left him I think his anger is aimed at the wrong person. Surely the other guy didn't aim a gun at the girls head and forced her to leave him?

He thinks they were soul mates but maybe she didnt? Why would she leave him if their relationship was so strong?

OP sorry that you are going through a tough time, maybe this isn't the right place for you to be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the eyes of my husband I'm not cheating - he knows and is on here too. In the eyes of most of the other married single people on here I am not cheating

In the eyes of the law, my marriage vows nd everyone else who is not on a site like this - I am cheating

Then again we all are if we are married or in a relationship (excluding FB's)

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By *hyguy 43 OP   Man
over a year ago

Swansea


"And to the OP, having since read your profile, I can understand your sentiments having recently lost a special lady myself, although in different circumstances!

But.......... and you probably won't like this, you shouldn't be directing your wrath at this guy. Assuming that he didn't kidnap your ladyfriend, she went willingly! I do believe that just as it takes 2 to make a relationship, it also takes 2 to break it!! So stand back and have a closer look nearer home!!"

Thanks for the advice and its very true what you have said. But i would lay down my life for her and she for me but she gets bored very easy and is always looking for the next thrill and this is now the 3rd time that i know of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to write so much here but frightened im gonna shot down hahaa. But tis a shame for OP...we've all probably had our hearts broken at some point and if she hadnt have met another bloke on here then whos to say she wasnt looking elsewhere anyway.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"And to the OP, having since read your profile, I can understand your sentiments having recently lost a special lady myself, although in different circumstances!

But.......... and you probably won't like this, you shouldn't be directing your wrath at this guy. Assuming that he didn't kidnap your ladyfriend, she went willingly! I do believe that just as it takes 2 to make a relationship, it also takes 2 to break it!! So stand back and have a closer look nearer home!!

Thanks for the advice and its very true what you have said. But i would lay down my life for her and she for me but she gets bored very easy and is always looking for the next thrill and this is now the 3rd time that i know of "

but to be fair that is her choice and I assume she is a member, so maybe best to leave it there as it is not fair only hearing one side.

all the best to you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In answer to your initial question, I agree wholeheartedly with Views comments above.

Regarding the position you find yourself in currently, whilst I can understand the hurt and anger I think you may be better placed to revert to your 'real life' family and friends at this time.

They will be able to help you focus and direct your feelings in a far more positive way than the majority of people on here, who by far and large will be mere onlookers to your position.

I don't feel that the profile in it's current format does you any favours and if the person(s) it is directed at do read it, I doubt it will have much effect, or at least, I don't see it changing anything.

FWIW, I offer you a hug and a 'chin up' buddy. I hope things start seeming that little bit better soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/08/12 08:52:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In the eyes of my husband I'm not cheating - he knows and is on here too. In the eyes of most of the other married single people on here I am not cheating

In the eyes of the law, my marriage vows nd everyone else who is not on a site like this - I am cheating

Then again we all are if we are married or in a relationship (excluding FB's)"

i was going to write something similar so thanks for putting it in better text form than me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

This thread has absolutely nothing to do with swinging and everything to do with a broken heart

Im sorry the OP is in such a bad place at the moment,I hope the pain eases a bit in time,maybe take a break from here,your profile is'nt suggestive of even wanting to meet anyone,its written in anger and angst and so is this thread

Good luck with the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I refuse to get drawn into this debate, if like me your married and your here, it's by choice. Just like its your choice too meet me.

"
well said we all know the score

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is akin to an indirect name and shame to draw attention to events that happened in the past.

Perhaps it is advisable to take time out to heal as already suggested by the others.

Good luck.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

A cheat by any other name would still be just a cheat.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Not judging anyone and would never even try to, but if you are looking for a label for what they are, I would they are not a swinger, they would be a promiscuous cheat instead. Swinging (to us at least) would imply that they are playing with their partner or even alone and with their partners consent). Someone that is doing it with neither of those is simply sleeping around, which is surely cheating.

As said, not saying there are any wrong or rights, just our two pence worth..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah its a secret life, it is cheating without consent,

as a fella though pleasuring a woman who isnt gettin it at home is a turn on,

no matter how morally wrong it is..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?

Yes they are cheats but can they class themselves as swingers ?"

no more no less than a single, fuck buddie couples etc can be swingers

to me a swinger is a mind set not a marrital status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion, people that cheat are deceptive and morally bankrupt - no matter what rationale they use to justify their actions they know it will inevitably end in pain for the person cheated upon; the people being with the cheat are not as they are not being deceptive unless they know the person being cheated on and are in collusion with the cheater.

This is a site where people can enjoy extra-relationship sex without having to cheat; all concerned are more likely to be in the know so there is lessened chances of being hurt...there should be no need to cheat on here.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

notice how the people who were playing away were out in force at the beginning.... but when it was made clearer what has happened they all have gone silent.....

hmmmmm........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

heavens exactly how high is that horse you're on? My husband has no interest in sex what so ever in last 4 yrs we've had sex 3 times i have asked numerous time's that he sees our GP and he refuses to go. I have a Lover who is just that a Lover not a fb we occasionally meet others for fun as turn on for us if we're going to be moral about sex none of us should be doing this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

high horse not dig at you _abio x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"heavens exactly how high is that horse you're on? My husband has no interest in sex what so ever in last 4 yrs we've had sex 3 times i have asked numerous time's that he sees our GP and he refuses to go. I have a Lover who is just that a Lover not a fb we occasionally meet others for fun as turn on for us if we're going to be moral about sex none of us should be doing this "

so you're husband knows you have a lover and are on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

told him numerous times i have Lover he doesn't believe me. And I'd challenge anyone to live with no sex or affection just constant bickering not to stray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"told him numerous times i have Lover he doesn't believe me. And I'd challenge anyone to live with no sex or affection just constant bickering not to stray "

Totally agree with you there i have been in your situation. He didnt want sex either but turned out he was the one having the affair with his secretary.. Marriage was dead years before tbh and he did me the biggest favour leaving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doubt if mine having affair he has very low sex drive always has doesn't like love/sex scenes in films says they spoil film so no chance of turning him on with porn also has affection issues the whole family is like it. Told him affection and touching Will lead to sex but these days we're in different rooms. hope things good for you now tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"doubt if mine having affair he has very low sex drive always has doesn't like love/sex scenes in films says they spoil film so no chance of turning him on with porn also has affection issues the whole family is like it. Told him affection and touching Will lead to sex but these days we're in different rooms. hope things good for you now tho "

Strange thing was that when he was married first time round she didnt like sex so he went without for years, but then he did the same to me. lol ahh well maybe the new one has low sex drive too lol. ME i couldnt be happier..have sex on tap..suitably matched and just enjoying life..its how it should be! 2 marriages down and think i have it right now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"heavens exactly how high is that horse you're on? My husband has no interest in sex what so ever in last 4 yrs we've had sex 3 times i have asked numerous time's that he sees our GP and he refuses to go. I have a Lover who is just that a Lover not a fb we occasionally meet others for fun as turn on for us if we're going to be moral about sex none of us should be doing this "

I gather that was that a dig at me then

I don't have a high horse, just firmly held beliefs.

I wouldn't cheat. If I were in a relationship where I felt the need, then that relationship would not be right for me and I would move on before I cheated; as painful as it may be to make the break, I believe it would be ten times worse if I was just to shag around until they found out...which they would.

Some may agree, some may disagree but hey, that's life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just greedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"heavens exactly how high is that horse you're on? My husband has no interest in sex what so ever in last 4 yrs we've had sex 3 times i have asked numerous time's that he sees our GP and he refuses to go. I have a Lover who is just that a Lover not a fb we occasionally meet others for fun as turn on for us if we're going to be moral about sex none of us should be doing this

I gather that was that a dig at me then

I don't have a high horse, just firmly held beliefs.

I wouldn't cheat. If I were in a relationship where I felt the need, then that relationship would not be right for me and I would move on before I cheated; as painful as it may be to make the break, I believe it would be ten times worse if I was just to shag around until they found out...which they would.

Some may agree, some may disagree but hey, that's life "
nope not a dig more of a retort from a moral bankrupt i think that was your opinion of me was it not? And i don't shag around btw and i have reasons for not moving on as you call it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion there all cheets on here but some how they all think it's ok because there doing it together has a couple . If your all blissfully happily married why do it ..........!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my opinion there all cheets on here but some how they all think it's ok because there doing it together has a couple . If your all blissfully happily married why do it ..........!!"

so that begs the questions

are you a cheat ?

are you ok to identify someone as a cheat and then have sex with them ?

if you have moral problems with the site as a whole, is it the right site for you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my opinion there all cheets on here but some how they all think it's ok because there doing it together has a couple . If your all blissfully happily married why do it ..........!!"

oh ar! Hark at him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my opinion there all cheets on here but some how they all think it's ok because there doing it together has a couple . If your all blissfully happily married why do it ..........!!"

says the straight man looking for men and tv's lecturing people on honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't about me and why I'm here is it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha then they look at your profile rip it apart to make themselves feel better about what they are doing....!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't about me and why I'm here is it??"

no but your comments weren't likely to go ignored were they ?

you can't spout contraversial _iews in one breath and then say don't make it about me in the next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nope not a dig more of a retort from a moral bankrupt i think that was your opinion of me was it not? And i don't shag around btw and i have reasons for not moving on as you call it "

No, it wasn't my opinion of you as I do not know you personally.

If you happen to fall into a group of people that I have mentioned and you seem to identify with and that I don't happen to share an ideological _iew with, then that's just the way it goes.

You have your reasons, that's fine; as I said, I'm sure people who cheat have a rationale to justify the pain that will be caused in the future thanks to their deception.

In my opinion, swinging isn't cheating as there it no deception and no pain caused.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?

Yes they are cheats but can they class themselves as swingers ?

no more no less than a single, fuck buddie couples etc can be swingers

to me a swinger is a mind set not a marrital status

"

So by that reckoning, a single person that sleeps around is a swinger if they believe themselves to be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they have a lover and a husband arent they already cheats?

Yes they are cheats but can they class themselves as swingers ?

no more no less than a single, fuck buddie couples etc can be swingers

to me a swinger is a mind set not a marrital status

So by that reckoning, a single person that sleeps around is a swinger if they believe themselves to be?"

Why not? What do the labels actually matter anyway?

Is a single person who sleeps around at swinging clubs more of a swinger than a single who shags other singles from a swinging site? How about singles who only meet couples? How about 2 singles meeting couples as a play partnership?

Playing with you own partner in the presence of another couple can be considered swinging by some, and not by others.

Who really cares? Most of us are here to enjoy our own versions of sexual fun and freedom. I don't think strict definitions are necessary.

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