FabSwingers.com forum: Abuse

By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

What's with men being increasingly abusive lately? Seems worse now than ever. Between countless guys kicking off we didn't reply to their feeble messages, and a guy claiming we're cheating immediately after asking to meet... it's a shame that reports seem to rarely result in them being removed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they are getting frustrated with not being able to meet still. But it's no excuse to be rude and abusive

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By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone

We must be quite lucky as it’s rare we get any abusive messages. Actually, I can’t think of any in the last 18 months. We get a few daily unless we change our status etc then can get 100 or so. We quickly zip through them and read those that may have a bit of content. The others we leave unread for a few days before simply deleting them. We reply to only the best few that have shown effort.

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By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think they are getting frustrated with not being able to meet still. But it's no excuse to be rude and abusive "

Probably, the sense of entitlement has been noticeably higher too

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Cos boys can't handle rejection! My fella got a load of abuse on his single account, from a couple that massaged him first. He declined, as they we're not for him. They came back saying he was cheating ect. I'm fully awear of his his single account. He uses it when I'm not playing. So it's not a single bloke playing on a couples account.

Just block and move on.

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By *oxy lady40Woman
over a year ago

bridgwater

"What's with men being increasingly abusive lately? Seems worse now than ever. Between countless guys kicking off we didn't reply to their feeble messages, and a guy claiming we're cheating immediately after asking to meet... it's a shame that reports seem to rarely result in them being removed."
it not just men couples can be just as abusive , and woman

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By *ent and bratCouple
over a year ago

here there everywhere

Have to say we rarely get any abusive msgs either.

Figured out that when you say no thanks it tends to lead to "why"? This gets msg deleted and then an abusive msg came after that.

We pretty much just delete now and have stopped with the "thanks but no thanks" and havent had an abusive msg in A long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes fab is pretty inconsistent in how it deals with things like that, should be a complete ban.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think ppl seem to forget that you still have autonomy over your own body and sex life, but because you're on a swingers site you should be having sex with all and sundry for the asking, and that is not the case. Thats where some of the frustration comes from ‘its a sex site’ and you should be more liberal with the sex otherwise why be on here. If you're not living up to that expectation ppl have a wobbly and be abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have to say we rarely get any abusive msgs either.

Figured out that when you say no thanks it tends to lead to "why"? This gets msg deleted and then an abusive msg came after that.

We pretty much just delete now and have stopped with the "thanks but no thanks" and havent had an abusive msg in A long time. "

Yes it’s so much easier and a lot more efficient, these people think they are owed something but are definitely not.

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By *orny-kink-nodramas!Man
over a year ago

london

Just block and ignore your always going to get horrible fuckers it’s just a shitty part of life unfortunately if everyone lived by my rule the world would be a much better place for sure

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

We don't get many horrible people. Do far (not been here that long), folk have been decent when politely declined (even though they probably haven't read the bio but hey ho).

A few have been a bit off, but then I HIGHLY doubt we get as much attention as some of you!

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

It's happening everywhere thanks in large part to social media where everything now appears binary and it's much easier to get away with abuse. It's ironic that those who scream about tolerance the loudest are often the least tolerant of all when someone dares to offer an alternative view to their own.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"It's happening everywhere thanks in large part to social media where everything now appears binary and it's much easier to get away with abuse. It's ironic that those who scream about tolerance the loudest are often the least tolerant of all when someone dares to offer an alternative view to their own.

It's almost like different people like different things isn't it? Madness.

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By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Have to say we rarely get any abusive msgs either.

Figured out that when you say no thanks it tends to lead to "why"? This gets msg deleted and then an abusive msg came after that.

We pretty much just delete now and have stopped with the "thanks but no thanks" and havent had an abusive msg in A long time. "

That's what we've been doing, a few days later they realise we've deleted their messages

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By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I think ppl seem to forget that you still have autonomy over your own body and sex life, but because you're on a swingers site you should be having sex with all and sundry for the asking, and that is not the case. Thats where some of the frustration comes from ‘its a sex site’ and you should be more liberal with the sex otherwise why be on here. If you're not living up to that expectation ppl have a wobbly and be abusive. "

^^^^^

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

Just block single men and that will take care of it. We don’t get any abusive messages (well apart from a rude one a few months ago from a forum moderator who didn’t like their methods being politely questioned).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if so many don’t read the profile most guys seem okay and respectful but there’s always a small minority that continue to give guys a bad name. Can’t stand misogyny so instant block

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

What does he mean by you're cheating? If it's you're speaking to others and not only him that's laughable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's with men being increasingly abusive lately? Seems worse now than ever. Between countless guys kicking off we didn't reply to their feeble messages, and a guy claiming we're cheating immediately after asking to meet... it's a shame that reports seem to rarely result in them being removed."
its frustration of not get a reply I think, but still no excuse for been abusive

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I agree with you and some probably do forget (maybe in part out of frustration with lockdown) but I do think that some chose to ignore the fact that we all have autonomy because they expect you to fit in with whatever they want.

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By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"What's with men being increasingly abusive lately? Seems worse now than ever. Between countless guys kicking off we didn't reply to their feeble messages, and a guy claiming we're cheating immediately after asking to meet... it's a shame that reports seem to rarely result in them being removed.its frustration of not get a reply I think, but still no excuse for been abusive "

True, on some occasions even a reply to politely decline has resulted in abuse. Damned if you do damned if you don't sometimes

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By *ekezza and Bilf OP Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"What does he mean by you're cheating? If it's you're speaking to others and not only him that's laughable. "

We really couldn't work it out, he asked how we swing as we're a couple, then how can you be in a relationship and have sex with others, then full on said it's cheating even though we communicate everything and everyone agrees. He did admit he's only interested in sex, not any other aspect of swing and probably just had a stick up his bum about couples out of envy.

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I think they are getting frustrated with not being able to meet still. But it's no excuse to be rude and abusive "

Well said, no excuse for being rude

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By *arpocratesWoman
over a year ago

Camden

When I first joined Fab 4 years ago I naively replied to most of the messages I received with a polite “no thanks”, only to receive a barrage of follow up questions and abuse. A lot of this centred around me being “damaged” and how I shouldn’t be picky, because there were a lot more hotter women to choose from. I left after less than a month vowing never to return.

Well I did rejoin (we all have needs right?) and this time I block and delete with impunity. That doesn’t stop the first message abuse, the backup accounts and the use of fake female profiles pleading with me to meet their FB because he’s the ‘best fuck I’ve ever had’. It has got to me this time round, especially the ones that mention my deafness in a negative way, but I’ve also met a few really decent people on here that genuinely understand that politeness and respect go a long way even if it doesn’t end in a play meet. I’ve reported a fair few accounts for abuse, but have no idea if this works or not.

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