FabSwingers.com forum: Why message when you have nothing to say?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

Totally agree what is the point in a message 'how are you' totally pointless

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By *..JessieWoman
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It not only me that thinks this then.

It has annoyed me for ages. I like chat but sometimes it's like pulling teeth, I don't know why they bother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes good conversation is lacking on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

Personally it just shows that IRL they wouldn’t be a great fit so it helps going forward.

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Because a lot of people are low investment in the hope of a high return. It’s also likely a numbers game. Send enough msgs and maybe someone will reply... maybe.

For us, you get out what you put in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We don't even reply to a "How are you?".

Job done

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Yes good conversation is lacking on here"

Yup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!

It's nearly as bad as when asking what someone likes sexually (to ensure everyone gets what they want from meeting) and then being told they will do anything or whatever we want they will be into...really should reply to say M will be bending them over whilst L films and see if it's true!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
It can be annoying, but I guess quite a high percentage of people are not good at breaking the ice and are simply testing the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat and if I get a simple reply like “sure” it really stumps me because I start thinking that’s how the rest is going to be

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By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Hows use

Seriously???

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

That's why i never message anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hows use

Seriously???

Seriously i'm good thanx! How's you 2?

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

Or opening message I am really horny what you doing ( normally on a Monday morning about 10am)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Them: How're you?

Me: Fine thanks. How're you?

Them: Im horny

That conversation exchange boils my piss.

I suppose the art is to ask open ended questions and be capable of conversing about topics other than sex

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

I sometimes enjoy going well over the top on my replies.

They send a 3 word message, I’ll reply with 4 or 5 paragraphs.

They send another 1 line reply, and I’ll do another long reply.

It can be amusing for a bit.

Then they seen surprised when we politely decline.

- John

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!

My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means

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By *uperGuy68Man
over a year ago

Southampton

"It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation "

So true, but it can really be like pulling teeth sometimes.

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!

My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means

Would guess it’s a single man using couples profile saying he straight but really fancies a tv ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation "
im glad someone said that, u have to take it from the mans point of view too ,countless messages and no reply can make u a bit drained

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation

So true, but it can really be like pulling teeth sometimes. "
yes totally agree

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By *ent and bratCouple
over a year ago

here there everywhere

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

At least 10 times today alone. Just makes me wonder what were they expecting to happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Them: How're you?

Me: Fine thanks. How're you?

Them: Im horny

That conversation exchange boils my piss.

I suppose the art is to ask open ended questions and be capable of conversing about topics other than sex "

I usually end that type of conversation with a good luck with that

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!

My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means

Would guess it’s a single man using couples profile saying he straight but really fancies a tv ? "

Actually is a bi couples profile , can be that they really fancy a pre op transgender woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

The one we get most is

Hi.

What are you up to tonight.

Watching a film.

What film.

Explain which one. Then no reply

Or the other is,

What you up to.

Got grandkids over.

Fancy a meet with us tonight.

Cant sorry grandkids are here.

Oh. Then no further reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better nothing to say than, 'I have and money will abuse you' ... which is the latest introductory chestnut we have received!!

My last msg just minutes ago " me and my fella we would rim the out from you x" to be true i even don't know what this in reality means

Our rule is thumb is if you are already on here and don't know a term then don't google!

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Glad to see it's not just men and not just me that has these one way conversations, I will usually give the benefit of the doubt for a few messages but you need something in return to work with so after a few 3 word replies it seems pointless. All we have had is conversation to look forward to and so many didn't seize the opportunity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the majority on here have limited imaginations

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By *uriouscayotesCouple
over a year ago

Falkirk

We had that hi how are you thing one time and when we asked how are you back we were informed doing ok but bit of a sore bum. Wasn't sure how to reply to that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont even get a reply if im honest and i try and make convo think because theres that many fake profiles on here some people dont believe you are genuine

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

I've just had 7 variations of "how are you" from the same guy over a 2 hour period.

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

One of our last messages

Wanna come round and suck my cock.

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By *unxxxMan
over a year ago

Leicester

So the best starter line???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the best starter line???"

Bet you don't get an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the best starter line???"

I’d read what you’re commenting on first of all

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By *amdenfunMan
over a year ago

London

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

Agree, to an extent.

How are you messages are really dull, aren’t they. But the first message is difficult. What can one add to one’s profile that isn’t a bit trite? Sometimes there’s something good to say, but often not.

And as for leading the conversation - if the conversation dries up, it dries up.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat and if I get a simple reply like “sure” it really stumps me because I start thinking that’s how the rest is going to be"

When I get such " hi, with to chat, then the sender is obviously full of chat.

So I'll be like sure chat away.

To then be asked what do I want yo chat about...

Hang on didn't you just ask me

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

If I can read the message without opening it I don't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah sometimes its hard to think of a ice breaker especially when your trying to speak to new people that you dont actually know what subjects interest them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.

If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.

Hi. My name is archie and my wife is Darcy. It's lovely to meet you. We noticed that you are local (or are going to x event) and we really like your profile. We were wondering if you would like to chat?

Something like that isn't hard to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.

If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.

Something like that isn't hard to do

That message is like pulling teeth.

Basically says do you want to chat....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite our profile... Hey what you up to?... Reading profiles..... Cool. WhT you into?... Some people don't get irony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.

If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.

Something like that isn't hard to do

That message is like pulling teeth.

Basically says do you want to chat...."
I'm surprised you read it correctly.

That's the point of an opening message. Hi do you want to chat. Except it puts a little effort in. You read the profile, and put effort in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find conversations like them really irritating. It's like pulling teeth.

If I'm messaging someone cold and it's not a message about a particular post or thread, I would usually write a message.

Something like that isn't hard to do

That message is like pulling teeth.

Basically says do you want to chat....I'm surprised you read it correctly.

That's the point of an opening message. Hi do you want to chat. Except it puts a little effort in. You read the profile, and put effort in. "

Back to the relevant point. You saying your name and stating your local is on your profile, but either way. Name , age and want to chat is an effort.

I’d read what interests you have in common, or state what it is that interested you to message them and what you are looking.

That way you have some sort of depth

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

The "How are you" posts usually from single guys get instantly blocked. Totally thoughtless posts.

Mrs N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single man input so much thought into my messages and still I get no where

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

It's when they send messages along those lines & then they get pissed off because my response is generally not as enthusiastic as they want (if they get a response at all!).

The very fact that they have messaged at all shows me that they haven't read my current profile!

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By *otwifeandcuckCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

Can't stand it. Hi.... Why bother?

Or a messege just expecting that'll we'll drop everything and just turn up for sex there and then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally irritating. The verbally challenged who can't get beyond "hi" or "nice pics" (usually with nothing in their profiles).

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

Yep, pretty much a daily thing for us, except instead of asking if we're being naughty we get asked "fancy meeting up".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or opening message I am really horny what you doing ( normally on a Monday morning about 10am)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This gets me too- it’s not a well-being site- my nanna asks me how I am lol

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By *unover40Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

Get these all the time and even worse....

Hi how are you ?

Ok thanks

Good, ok to send friend request ?

......blocked

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Could be worse, we recently got sent ??

That was it.

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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

For us as long as its a pleasant message with not lots of text speak and thought has been put in we reply

there have been messages in the past that just grab your attention and you just hit it off but with lockdown it's made a lot of it drawn out with not being able to go for a social. Finger crossed on the up now inbox open for willing participants lol

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We frequently get, "Hi".

They're always confused when we reply, "Jk". (just following the sequence...)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"It takes at least 2 people to make a conversation

So true, but it can really be like pulling teeth sometimes. "

Yet with others it just flows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We frequently get, "Hi".

They're always confused when we reply, "Jk". (just following the sequence...)"

Excellent!!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 03/05/21 08:46:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could be worse, we recently got sent ??

That was it.

Probably a phone emoji. They don't work on here.

???? - That's a shocked face and a penguin.

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By *ent and bratCouple
over a year ago

here there everywhere

"We frequently get, "Hi".

They're always confused when we reply, "Jk". (just following the sequence...)"

Sorry but I'm stealing this.... brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or when you receive

Exactly what do you want me to reply to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one from a couple profile yesterday

Want to talk dirty about my wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the "naughty" conversations as I reply with a "I'm not 6?" ... confuses the hell out of most!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"You say it best, when you say nothing at all" ?

Cal

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We had this a few times over the weekend. One line greeting and nothing. Vacuous profiles with zero or limited text, one of which couldn't even be bothered to list his interests. What sort of response do these guys expect when they can't even be bothered to compile their own profiles let alone read anyone else's?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the ones that ask what are you wearing now

Answer clothes

Or can you meet now I'm horny

Answer hell yes I just sit around all day waiting for someone to ask

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By *ornyandachingCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

If they aren’t good at talking Atleast have the decency to say why they get in touch.... I don’t need a conversation to fill my pussy if it’s just sex xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of our last messages

Wanna come round and suck my cock. "
Was you tempted ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if the ratio was reversed with more women than men on this site, how good would the women be with their opening lines, and would they get upset when there get no reply’s ?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Could be worse, we recently got sent ??

That was it.

Probably a phone emoji. They don't work on here.

???? - That's a shocked face and a penguin.

Ha! Thanks for explaining.

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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere

Maybe a slightly different thread, but recently I have found an increasing number of profiles appearing, I message them, they sometimes reply with something very bland (but not a “no I’m not interested”) then their profile is deleted, and 2 days later, the same pics appear in a new profile, different name, slightly different ages etc.

Am I just being thick? I don’t understand why anyone would do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined as a single male I put decent effort into opening messages most got left unread etc etc, switched it up to a short simple hello and a face pic got more response,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a local couple the other day message me with just the word "Hey" so when I replied with a more converse message they just deleted it.

Needless to say they went straight on the block list.

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By *ekezza and BilfCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"As a single man input so much thought into my messages and still I get no where "

You're not owed a reply. Sometimes you just have to accept you may not be a suitable match in their eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes good conversation is lacking on here"

Yep think it’s dead the art of conversation think it’s a dying form all the messages these days are r u ok all text speak if I’m really honest think it’s my age think just way to old for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On our profile, we mention we are looking to meet people we can have conversations, laughs, and good times with.

When we send an opening message, we comment on their profile, likes, dislikes, and why we think we would interested to get to know them more. We don't think it's too much to expect the same from someone messaging us first.

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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere

"As a single man input so much thought into my messages and still I get no where

You're not owed a reply. Sometimes you just have to accept you may not be a suitable match in their eyes."

I totally accept I’m not owed a reply, but it’s more the pointless replies that I get frustrated with. Like many, I put thought and time in to my messages. If I get no reply, fine. If I get a “no thanks” reply, that’s actually fine too. It’s the ones that do reply but with such pointless “non messages” I just don’t get

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I have the issue of I ask people if they want to chat..."

We have a bit of an issue here. If we want to chat, we have real friends. We want to know a bit about people with a view to meeting. We don't have the time or patience to keep dozens of chats going, especially when they invariably turn into daily "you been naughty?" messages.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I had a local couple the other day message me with just the word "Hey" so when I replied with a more converse message they just deleted it."

We actually find it harder work trying to talk to couples on here than single guys. I guess we have more choice of single guys and block a high percentage, but couples do (in our experience) seem to think they don't have to put in as much effort. We get a lot of "Hiya" messages from couples without even the slightest indication of reading our profile.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

How about a two word message from a profile that says they don't want one word messages? (True)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about the ones who ask to put some effort in your message so you do and they just delete it

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I tried reading the profiles and writing little comic poems based on what they said. I thought it might be a different quirky ice breaker, but it still got me nowhere, sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi ho’s everyone? Sorry couldn’t resist.. yip I'm a dick lol

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

We got a message from a couple ..sent one back and we got back "Yer" ...that was it ...seems the art of conversation is either dying or dead or in intensive care ..

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Had a one word message - Kik

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don’t see the point. Do some people not get the way to make conversation. If they can’t message and make conversation how they going to be on a social or meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a one word message - Kik"

One word answer NO

lol.

How annoying

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"Had a one word message - Kik

One word answer NO

lol.

How annoying "

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"Had a one word message - Kik

One word answer NO

lol.

How annoying "

Blocked and deleted lol

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I always wonder what the "hi/hey" type message senders expect in return, are they really sitting there expecting us to start the conversation? They messaged us so I'd have thought the onus should be on them to put the effort in to engage us/spark our interest somehow? Invariably such uninspiring messages come from almost blank profiles, which give us absolutely nothing to talk about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or opening message I am really horny what you doing ( normally on a Monday morning about 10am)

Lol, had a bunch of those already this morning..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

Aww sounded like a keeper

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

Aww sounded like a keeper

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

There is nothing worse than trying to chat to people and they don’t ask a question back.

Conversations appear to be such a problem on here. I wonder how some people meet if they can’t hold a conversation with you.

But as someone mentioned it probably saves us losing time having a social with these people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many expect the other person to drive the conversation even though they initiated it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."
we get loads like this

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I love a good laugh and a natter but, it takes two to tango

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the top of my list of personal annoyances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for guys on here it is difficult. I do agree with putting in the effort can be rewarding but I think a lot of people forget tonnes of couples/woman go against their “rules” on their profiles and quite a few are only interested in “how big their cock is”.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

We get a lot of messages like ‘how are you’ or ‘how’s your day been’ ‘what are you up to ?’ That then transpires to they’ve had both their jabs and it’s safe to meet from the 21st of June (is it ?) and if we fancy a cheeky meet they are available - even though our profile says we are not meeting with the pandemic !

Mostly from single guys or couples where the guy says his wife is ill and she is happy for him to play alone !

I don’t usually block people but had to start because they drive you mad pestering !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

"
very refreshing to hear I’m not alone !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"them: How are you?

me : good thanks, you?

them : good thanks

Seriously what is the point? If you mail someone you should at least expect to lead the conversation for at least a few messages."

As a single male on here, from my prospective i get many 2/3 word replies followed by ghosting. id imagine my messege is like a drop in the ocean and the reciever cant keep up investing in conversations. But this speaks more for how we are managing messeges.

To hrlp i think messeges from a frequently replied sender shoyld stand out with an extra filter/boarder or something

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By *amyam5627Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

I’ve had a few that just give one word answers, makes my introduction message look like war and peace

(it’s only about four paragraphs lol).

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth carrying on messaging

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I think for guys on here it is difficult. I do agree with putting in the effort can be rewarding but I think a lot of people forget tonnes of couples/woman go against their “rules” on their profiles and quite a few are only interested in “how big their cock is”.

I (Char) must be rare then. I really don't care about your cock. Seeing ine picture is enough, just so I know it's kept clean. I'm much more interested in conversation. Had a guy message us who ticks a LOT of boxes, but in the end I told Bry not to bother as he had nothing to say

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"We get a lot of messages like ‘how are you’ or ‘how’s your day been’ ‘what are you up to ?’ That then transpires to they’ve had both their jabs and it’s safe to meet from the 21st of June (is it ?) and if we fancy a cheeky meet they are available - even though our profile says we are not meeting with the pandemic !

Mostly from single guys or couples where the guy says his wife is ill and she is happy for him to play alone !

I don’t usually block people but had to start because they drive you mad pestering !"

Ha! Yes. Those 'couples' whose wife can't meet or would rather hear about it afterwards. How many times do we hear that one!!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Although you are right that it is difficult for single guys on here, but surely that just makes it much more important to take the opportunities that arise.

There are so many on here that say "I hardly ever get a reply". If you DO get a message back, then you need to really engage to give yourself any chance of something more.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get

Them: Hi

Us here we go: hi

Them:How's you?

Us:good thanks, you?

Them: good thanks, are you being naughty?

Us block!

This is how 90% of my conversations go lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also a lot of guys aren’t site supporters, so can’t really keep a conversation going as they can’t see previous messages

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By *ligible GentMan
over a year ago

Wilmslow

"Also a lot of guys aren’t site supporters, so can’t really keep a conversation going as they can’t see previous messages"

Don’t think it’s just guys who can’t keep conversations going. Some terrible conversationalists on here full stop. Some great ones too, but some awful.

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