FabSwingers.com forum: Are fabbers clicky?

By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.

What say you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clicky? Fab? Never!

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

It depends how well-lubricated their joints are.

Fabbers are, however, also quite cliquey. It's the nature of the beast – people want to spend time with folk they already know.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Isn’t everyone? Fab’s really no different to any other online community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Clicky? Fab? Never!

No never, not like the blood n crips at least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting to a gentleman from Ireland and he was making an assumption that fabbers , generally, are clicky. He meant that the same people answer threads of people they know. I am not sure personally. I think fabbers tend to be neutral and answer the thread with banter, humour and honesty.

What say you!"

Some people will just have known each other for longer and tend to stick to that. That's why I stay off the name a formuite threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

All a clique is is people that already know each other chatting to the exclusion of others. Strangers are included when one, or more, of the clique include them, then they might become an excepted part of the group. Quite often continuing the clique!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

Some people are able to move easily between cliques without appearing to notice them, some cliques aren't meant to be entered and some people can't break in! But in all reality, the only people that notice them are the people that feel excluded!

And yes, the forums and the chatrooms appear cliquey here for the simple fact the some of the people have chatted for ages, messaged, met etc and are actually chatting, flirting, planning etc to the exclusion of others (seemingly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't seem to kill many threads but when I join in it's like I add an emoji of a tumble...

Tabitha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not if you ride your own wave ...

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

The longer your on Fab the more people you get to know, that works in your favour for meets

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that."

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

No. Those in the clique are not cliquey at all

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own! "

A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!

A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place?"

It is! But cliques are natural things ... you could be in one and not notice! Cliques are just friendships?

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

Like a clickety McClicky fuck click...

But then, isn't that life in general!

I'll be the weird quark hiding on the outside of the corner

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Some threads are more cliquey than others. Most are fine.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!

A bit harsh..I thought thisis a friendly inclusive place?

It is! But cliques are natural things ... you could be in one and not notice! Cliques are just friendships? "

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I tend to answer with my honest thoughts.If people agree great if they don’t then fair enough.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I thought this is a friendly inclusive place?"

What on Earth made you think that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You often see the same names on threads but it will not change if no one else joins in. I am new to the forums and often get passed by but it is only because lots of friendship groups already exist - that's okay! Mean cliques are unpleasant but I have not seen that here so far

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

The first rule of being in the clique is...

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Op. We don't know you so we are not going to answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought this is a friendly inclusive place?

What on Earth made you think that? "

Fab is very much what you make it and the forums are a very tiny part of it ... just stick to the inclusive people and ignore the rest!

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Fab is no different to any club - there are those who are cliquey and those who are not or less so. We all tend to find groups we associate with and feel comfortable with.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I very rarely post outside the Ireland forum because I've gotten to know most of the people that post there.

I also create one or two threads a day but they're answered by anyone not just a clique

I suppose its because there's a lot less Irish fabbers that it seems to be the same people all the time that answer and we all seem to be part of a clique

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

As has been said; the perception of it is often a large part of it.

I’ve been on the forums for years, I’ve built up friendships with several posters and to outsiders it can seem exclusionary. That’s not the case.

It’s like being in a pub; groups form, people chat amongst themselves, they include people as they draw attention, sometimes they don’t.

I often find that accusations of cliquey behaviour are levelled by those trying to draw attention, that are on the outside of groups and are feeling unnoticed.

Just as with joining any new social group, it can take time for people to get used to new posters and it’s no one’s responsibility to talk to new posters, however it is nice to get new posters.

If you feel that you’re on the outside, then don’t lose heart. People will get to know you and commenting will help you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i interact with anyone and with any thread i fancy.. no rhyme or reason.

go back a year or so, i'd have said yes, very clingy.

but not so much now i don't think. i think people have more time for others, with a more positive outlook since things everywhere else have been so gloomy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought this is a friendly inclusive place?

What on Earth made you think that? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am more clunky than clicky

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Fab is very much what you make it"

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it. "

But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it. "

I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.

Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..

Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Personally can't stand clicky. Just be individual and proud of ones perks and quirks. Clicky to me suggests needs for validation. Given this is a sex site, I've witnessed plenty that need that.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

What say you!"

Unless the post is from someone I’ve blocked, I’ll reply to anyone if I can find a funny or helpful message to respond to what’s being said.

Often I do reply to people like forum royalty cause they’re always around and it might look like it’s clicky; but it’s not.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?

Exactly. We "can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you". We don't have "our little bit of Fab", because it exists in consensus reality, is influenced by a massive array of factors entirely beyond our control, and is owned and operated by people who aren't us.

So no, it's not, never has been, and never will be, "what [we] make it".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.

Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..

Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play "

Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

But you can't actually change other people nor make them have sex with you though? So we make our little bit of fab fit ourselves! Hence the "it's what you make it"?

So no, it's not, never has been, and never will be, "what [we] make it". "

It is only is, always has been "what we make it" we have no influence over other people and their bit of fab! It's a forum for meeting people the we want to meet and that want to meet us! Nothing more or less ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.

Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..

Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play

Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves! "

Totally agree, we are powerless over others, have to own our part in things, so if I feel excluded, I have to bring it back to the first me, and see how what I can do to feel included

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

If you walked into a pub, would you go and talk to strangers first or the people you already know, it would be conciderd rude to ignore the people you know, we think fab fourms are the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.

Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..

Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play

Very true! Also the fact that we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Totally agree, we are powerless over others, have to own our part in things, so if I feel excluded, I have to bring it back to the first me, and see how what I can do to feel included"

First person**

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x "

I have oil for you V

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves! "

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

Oh I kill threads all the time.. but I will keep at it sitting in the corner clicking my fingers

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x

I have oil for you V

A good few squirts required.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x

I have oil for you V

A good few squirts required.

V x "

I'll trade my squirts of oil, for some food I'm hank here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful."

You don't seem to understand that it is what we make it and taking responsibility for ourselves are eluding to the same thing? .. when you take sentences out of context and use them for just your point of view you seem to miss the whole picture? Or maybe it's manipulating it to fit your narrative?

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x

I have oil for you V

A good few squirts required.

V x

I'll trade my squirts of oil, for some food I'm hank here lol

It’s all you think about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My knees make a terrible clicky noise

V x

I have oil for you V

A good few squirts required.

V x

I'll trade my squirts of oil, for some food I'm hank here lol

It’s all you think about

Food n sex V, not always in that order, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point? "

Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "

Of cause they do, but aint that down to the fact fab is so cock heavy, if it was more balanced, im sure tge experiences of both genders, would be pretty much aligned

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "

I think this is where experiences are different.

For men and couples seeking single females, fab is certainly not what you make of it in terms of meets. If you only come here for the forums then it will be what you make of it. As a female, it will probably be what you make of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

Can I join your clique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they are in my experience, but get it in all walks of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site? "

Oh yes totally! But there are very successful men on here of all descriptions and that's always intrigued me! I think a truly positive vibe to fab helps completely.

The difference is a lot to do with the fact that men seriously outnumber the ladies, down here it's literally 100/1, which isn't very realistic for what most men think being on fab is going to offer them!

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

Can I join your clique

Membership is currently at full capacity, soz

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.

I generally do the opposite, not much interest in group think but I’ve old friends here as well as new friends who I’ve met and some I haven’t yet and some I likely never will. I’ve created several WhatsApp groups and am invited to some others I didn't make.

Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

Can I join your clique

Membership is currently at full capacity, soz"

I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

Can I join your clique

Membership is currently at full capacity, soz

I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours

Lol you're should of finished that by blowing a raspberry lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in a clique with myself, I have lots of fun in my clique and only rarely upset me

Can I join your clique

Membership is currently at full capacity, soz

I'll start my own then, it'll be better than yours

Lol you're should of finished that by blowing a raspberry lol

I was stamping my feet really, just don't have a apporiate emoji fit it

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If you’re in a clique.... do You know? If you know, then how do you know?

I’m not sure I’d notice

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

Would you agree that men and women have very different experiences on this site?

Oh yes totally! But there are very successful men on here of all descriptions and that's always intrigued me! I think a truly positive vibe to fab helps completely.

Good point!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Absolutely clicky. But it won't stop me posting if I feel the urge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes OP. They generally are clicky. Not saying it's a bad thing. People go with what they know but for newbies you do feel it and might feel sidelined a little. Inside fab I'm not in any click and tend float like a social butterfly

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By *arte_Blanche_NECouple
over a year ago

Northern

What say you!"

We tend to just comment on the threads we have an interest in and don’t really look at the OP before we do, couldn’t comment on anyone else obviously.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.

Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little "

I am not whining.. stop patronising!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

Excellent response!

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Fab is very much what you make it

I don't agree with this at all. It completely elides the fact that other people have any influence on reality, and falsely dumps all the responsibility on the individual.

I would *like* to make Fab a mechanism by which I have so much sex, for so long, with so many people, that various parts of my body stop working and I have to desist due to physical exhaustion.

Fab is *not* that, so no, it's not what I make it.

I think your expectations are are way to high as what your thinking fab us all about.

Its the same as the outside world, you wouldn't make every person fancy you, why woykd be any diffrent on here..

Ppl come here with such deluded thinking, as I'm going to be knee deep in pussy ir cock in a message or two, when that doesn't happen, then the bitterness n resentment comes out to play "

Where as other people who you may think may struggle a little to make connections, join up with a good attitude, get involved and get known for all the right reasons. They accept they won't be everyone's cup of tea and just concentrate on people who respond well to them, and they do really well.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think it's more that people get to know each other the more they post on the forum's and tend to interact with people they get to know more than a clique.

Everyone is new at some point and you have to make an effort to chat in any forum if you post once in a blue moon or just post to give out then you are a lot less likely to get replies .I often don't get replies especially in the lounge or here it doesn't bother me I just post if something interests me .If people reply grand if they don't then it's not a big deal either.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"I think it's more that people get to know each other the more they post on the forum's and tend to interact with people they get to know more than a clique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it’s clicky

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I agree with those who say that especially in the Irish forums where there is a smaller number of active posters it can appear to be cliquey.

I've often posted here or in the lounge and had my comments completely ignored so I tend to stick to the Irish forum where I do have a voice.

Despite all that there are obviously people who do encourage cliques and need the oxygen that others supply in the form of public acknowledgement and adulation.

I don't have the slightest interest in anyone, man or woman who needs or demands my attention.

The word popular is often used incorrectly on here when people think that just because you may be a forum regular and people respond to what you say then it automatically follows that you are popular. It doesn't work that way however.

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Clicky? Fab? Never!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of it yeah. Push through break the mould and earn you place

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point? "

I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.

I'm not taking anything "out of context". I was making the effort to only quote the specific points I'm responding to, a) for clarity, and b) to spare everyone scrolling past whole walls of text to get to the actual response. I won't bother in future. Fab really needs a better quoting function.

I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the patently absurd assertion that "[XYZ] is what you make it". It's just ludicrous. But then this forum on the whole seems to believe some pretty ridiculous stuff (MBTI is a legitimate tool; body hair is blasphemy and must be destroyed; yelling "I HAVE A PREFERENCE!" is a magic get-out-of-jail-free card for racism, et cetera), so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see total canards being repeated as some kind of holy gospel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.

No need to be condescending

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

What say you!"
Many are yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares? Really. I wouldn't meet anyone from the forum as I don't like to put myself out there. I think if you view the forum as just that... somewhere to post crap... you won't go far wrong. Leave the popularity contests and the love ins to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we only have responsibility for ourselves ... if things don't work then the only thing we can change is ourselves!

Wait, I thought Fab was "what we make it"? But now "the only thing we can change is ourselves". Can't both be true!

And guess what? We can't even change ourselves much, either. Height, ethnicity, orientation, disabilities, facial symmetricality, social background, whole bunch of other stuff...

Look, I get that it's massively comforting to believe that we can have anything if we just want it enough, but it's demonstrably not true, and pretending otherwise is actively harmful.

But you've only quoted small parts but seem to have missed the whole point?

I understand *you* think they're the same thing. I just totally disagree.

I actually said they're alluding to the same thing ... so not quite how you have decided to read it. A lot of things taken out of context actually change their meanings as the whole point is missed.

And I agree with the poster above regarding there is absolutely no need to be condescending ... a difference of opinion does not need any shouting down.

I'm off to bed and sleep now and happily leave you to your view and am happy with my simplistic positivity.

Wishing all a good night's sleep

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

How can a clique, know it’s cliquey?

Only projection from others can impose this.

I’m out with the In crowd, is a smidgin of little childish memories in my world.

Just create your own clique of people who have values same as yours.

Or watch.

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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

i hate it when people complain about cliques everyone automatically talks firstly with those they know you wouldnt walk into a pub ignore your friends and go to sit down with some random stranger

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

Very clicky, fucked knees

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"i hate it when people complain about cliques everyone automatically talks firstly with those they know you wouldnt walk into a pub ignore your friends and go to sit down with some random stranger"

It does not hurt to acknoledge and include though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with those who say that especially in the Irish forums where there is a smaller number of active posters it can appear to be cliquey.

I've often posted here or in the lounge and had my comments completely ignored so I tend to stick to the Irish forum where I do have a voice.

Despite all that there are obviously people who do encourage cliques and need the oxygen that others supply in the form of public acknowledgement and adulation.

I don't have the slightest interest in anyone, man or woman who needs or demands my attention.

They are probably discussed in the WhatsApp groups.......

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Cliques will always exist in everyday life. But it’s just friends or people who are familiar with each other.

I think the forum isn’t cliquey...it’s just people tend to see the same people chatting between themselves but it’s human nature you are going to chat to people you know.

I’ve seen a lot of newbies come in and become a regular posters and so they’ve joined the clique.

The clique is only non inclusive if you make it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve seen evidence of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't want to be part of a clique that would lower it's standards enough to let me in

What sometimes appears cliquey is just normal human behaviours.

If a popular person posts, you'll have at least 3 kinds of interaction.

Banter between friends.

Sycophants trying to curry favour.

Scrappers rolling sleeves up to have a good argument.

When all three wade in, the casual observers can get lost in the tidal wave.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

My right knee can be sometimes

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different."

Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say clicky as in an in crowd unless I’m so far out I don’t see it ..... but if I was chatting with someone I would comment on their thread but I think I comment on threads I think I can add input or my opinion on..... I don’t see any clickyness but again that’s my opinion xxxx

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

perhaps you should ask a more challenging question like" is the Pope a catholic?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own! "

It not perceive they are real most of the time it's people that are in the click don't realise they are the effect they have on other people, people will portray themselves to be a somebody they're not in order to be in a click so as not to be left out.

I do that there are a few clicks on fab and I do think that sometimes they do bully and kinkshame people.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"All people are cliquey as it's natural human behaviour ... the only people that notice cliques are those that feel excuded!

Any club, sports, pub, work, party, wedding etc everywhere that people meet have cliques!

Even when a number of people meet for the first time cliques are formed from the beginning, those these change very quickly, it's just intrinsic human survival behaviour.

It is all about perception I get that.

It's not though, they exist simple, they are real but the only people that notice them are those that feel excluded. So in fact the problem is theirs to own!

I do that there are a few clicks on fab and I do think that sometimes they do bully and kinkshame people. "

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By *amesnplanesMan
over a year ago

Banbridge

I wouldn't suggest that fabs has that particular problem.

Previously when I've chatted to folks in clubs, I've been upfront and mentioned my membership on Fabs and asked if they were members.

Never had a bad response to date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a clicky ankle and knee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.

Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site."

Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.

The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.

Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.

Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.

The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not."

I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"I've got a clicky ankle and knee

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Fab is exactly what you choose to make it. Some people just gravitate to agreeable people just like themselves, for safety and comfort, I think people interpret that as clicky.

Stop whining about clicks and engage with the people who light you up a little

I am not whining.. stop patronising!! "

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

As I like to be in different types of groups and online chat. I’ve often posted on runners, bikers, TV/ TS sites and various other forums over the years.

Each and everyone had some sort of clique, for me it’s how those who know they get attention on those forums react, to new people trying to get involved. Most of the time it’s if that person appears to be taking whatever that group is in to, seriously.

So on a running forum a marathon runner with good advice and history of turning up at races, part of a running club and socials, will get more credit than those who just occasionally use the forums to chat but don’t actively get into the scene itself.

That’s the same for the bikers etc...turn up for a motorcycle run or a running race your face gets known and you’re part of the scene or clique. So it follows that anything you start on the forums or contribute to, is taken more seriously.

If there was no clique they’d be no threads that start ‘who’s your favourite forum user’ or ‘forum user from the past’ etc..and the same names are often quoted.

Because of that I’m not actually against a clique to a certain extent, it’s those who put in the effort regularly posting on the forums putting in time to build up an online presence who deserve to get some recognition and their points and threads created get more attention than others. As they’re the ones that are ensuring the forums are worth visiting and contributing to interesting debate and fun.

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By *orders CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Kelso

What say you!"

I don't know you so I won't comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people dont want to talk or include you then thats fine by me. I am old amd mature enough to just leave them alone. Life is to short to lose sleep over things like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cod liver oil should help with this ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.

Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.

Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.

The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not.

I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays."

Nor should here be at the moment.

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By *eparrain1 OP Man
over a year ago

Stone

"Walk up to a group of people on the street. Announce yourself as Jimmy, can we chat. How many will just say hi come and join us (Mormon groups excl.). Why should here be any different.

Because it is a virtual situation and it is a meet site.

Because it's virtual is the excuse used by trolls too.

The street is a meet site too. As are many other places. People want to meet who they may like and say no to those they don't, virtual or not.

I am not sure that the street is a meet place nowadays.

Since you insist, this is at least a contact seeking site..

Nor should here be at the moment."

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