FabSwingers.com forum: Some advice for some men..

By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman
over a year ago

St. Ives

If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

It’s when I go from “gorgeous” to “fat and ugly” in 30 seconds that makes me laugh haha xx

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

I suppose if you turn someone down and they respond with a load of abuse it means they are probably an asshole but on a positive note at least didn't have to find out face to face that they were / are an asshole

delete/block/move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some men take rejection really badly and it's sad. It taints all other men. I've sent many messages on here and got few replies, but I understand most women have flooded inboxes and you won't be to everyone's tastes.

I've also had it from guys who message me and I've ignored them at times. They quickly turn angry and even at times abusive. Can't imagine what it's like for the poor women of Fab.

Respect should always come first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No excuse for a lack of manners or personal abuse Lydia. I put it down to a lack of education insofar as people either cannot be bothered to read a profile, do not understand it or think it does not apply to them. There is no plausible reason for a basic lack of respect whatsoever, just because this is an adult site does not mean it is ok to be crude or unpleasant. Keep your chin up, you are beautiful and there still are some gentlemen out there x

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By *ary8insMan
over a year ago

St Neots, UK

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

Well said and I apologise for that idiot who gives the rest of us a bad name! Just can't understand people who can't take a polite "no and good luck with your search!" The amount of single women and couples that I have spoken to over the years having the same problem, beggars belief. Some guys just can't take any form of rejection and if that's the case, they shouldn't be on here. Take it on the chin and move on. They should be reported to admin and kicked off the site!

Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!!

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By *kblokenorthMan
over a year ago

Any

No, you’re not a fatty, you’re a beauty, a gorgeous beauty....and everyone male or female deserves to be treated kindly on here and in person! xx

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I know a lot of ladies who reply...then block.

That just saves dealing with the blind venom spat in defence of a poorly woorly ego.

Simples.

You can always go back later and unblock them...but can't see why

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By *lexnNatasha1977Couple
over a year ago

wigan

We always try to be polite and respectful of others doesn’t cost anything its simple if we don’t get it in return they’ve shown there true colours and not worth it

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By *ittle Girl LostWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

This is exactly what I do, reply out of courtesy with a not for me thank you, and usually block.

The only time I don't reply is if someone hasn't read my profile at all, and are the exact opposite of what I'm looking for

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By *lossyLegsGlassesCouple
over a year ago

stafford

Things we get a lot of after politely declining:

- why?

- but if I

- age is just a number

- do u actually meet?

- I like driving

If you've been declined what's the point of why? It's not going to change anything, age is a preference, yes we do and your love for travel is not in question

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I'm very sorry to hear that, I can only apologise on behalf of the nice men on here... Its them/those that make it so difficult for the rest of us as everyone has their backs up...

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

But you know that statistically no one reading this will be the ones doing that, so this thread couldn't possibly achieve much, if anything.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!!

It doesn't give all men a bad name, but what it and other shitty behaviour on here has done in my case is simply put me off engaging with new people as a whole.

Sit in my own bubble with a crocodile infested moat around it to keep people a safe distance from me.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

Unfortunately these "men" (used in the broadest term) give all the rest of us a bad name and a lot of mails get ignored to the point where I don't bother sending messages to anyone anymore

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Rant over and it's a nice sunny day!!

It doesn't give all men a bad name, but what it and other shitty behaviour on here has done in my case is simply put me off engaging with new people as a whole.

Sit in my own bubble with a crocodile infested moat around it to keep people a safe distance from me."

Crocodile infested moat? You must be dead posh

Sounds like a scene from Shrek! (Or was that dragons?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a bloke who tries his best to be polite in every interaction, I can only apologise for the immature berks bringing my sex into disrepute!

Be nice to eachother guys! It's not difficult!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to read that you've been on the receiving end of that behaviour. You can take some solace from the fact that you clearly made the right choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us normal guys already know this. And the people that do abuse others won't be reading this.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

I’m sorry you’ve been through that. I get rejections all the time, I thank the person for giving me the respect of replying and wish them well on here.

If you get abuse, just block and ignore. Starting threads like this and updating statuses is just giving them what they want. Attention.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Us normal guys already know this. And the people that do abuse others won't be reading this.

Very possibly but sometimes you just wanna feel like you're being heard.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I usually say no thanks then block

If they just send a shit message it gets deleted, in the past I've had people message again asking why I deleted, so I fully tell them, then block.

Some people get too comfortable on the Internet saying things they'd never dream of in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look great btw,

We get abusive messages as well, we just read the message take a look at their profile, and if they are not for us we delete and block if necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep the block button is thee best tool on fab .... also love the way guys think that its other men that ruin it for them but sorry guys you ruin it for yourself only.. only you are responsible for you bad guys do not ruin it for you you use that as an excuse thats just not true..

and as for the abuse its not nice but id rather them show there real colours up front so i can block than find out later when to late ... just imagine saying no to these guys in bed the thought terrifies me ...

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

Definitely feeling your pain, I got abuse today for spelling something wrong

just sad really I guess, have a nice day and don't let them get you down, there are lots of very nice people on fab it just takes time to find them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its to be expected on fab sadly, like people not showing their face but expecting to someone's face.

Its stuff people wouldn't do in person but feel it's fine to do online.

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By *restonM50Man
over a year ago

preston

It's the idiots and neanderthals who give gent's a bad name.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have been called every name under the sun after politely declining. I just report and block and think myself lucky I said no x

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By *histlerMan
over a year ago

Guildford

Sorry you’ve faced abuse OP. It’s not good enough. No one has either the right to expect anything from you or to then take out their frustrations on you.

For what it’s worth you look lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately we live in a world where rejection isn't taken well. Ignore the abuse and name calling, afterall its only because you said no. I'm sure comments and attitudes would be different if you had been like the man from del-monte and said yes!!!

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

No excuse for abuse, full stop. But the simplest and safest option is to block single men from contacting you; and you do the searching yourself.

Someone will no doubt now pop up and insist that this is victim blaming. It’s not, it is just a practical solution to a problem which is otherwise insoluble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just absolute idiots...... keyboard warriors with a superiority complex.... I just report block and move on.....mind you it’s better than avoiding punches like I had to in a previous career!! Haha

You sound like you won’t let them steal your sparkle OP.... go you!!!

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By *he Jizz PlayerMan
over a year ago

Hatfield

It is unacceptable for people to be abusive when turned down. People have a choice and a right to exercise that choice. Whenever I have been declined I usually send a message saying thank you for replying and I hope you find what you are looking for and have a good time.

Politeness is free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest you dont have to block all men ...i only meet guys and i dont reply no more to those ive no interest in i just block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I think that most of the guys that do this either won’t see this thread or will completely ignore it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just want to make it clear that I would never send a nasty or rude messages to a woman about her body or looks.

I just wouldn't tell her

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

No point in getting upset.

But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.

They get in touch or you to them.

They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged

You arrange meet or a time for another chat.

Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."

Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.

Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.

If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"No point in getting upset.

But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.

They get in touch or you to them.

They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged

You arrange meet or a time for another chat.

Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."

Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.

Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.

If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.

Men are guilty of this too .

Take it as they've had a ladies wank and moved on

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By *C7995XCouple
over a year ago

London

At least we are not the only ones. The last week seems to have been particularly bad

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"No point in getting upset.

But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.

They get in touch or you to them.

They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged

You arrange meet or a time for another chat.

Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."

Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.

Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.

If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.

I go quiet when I'm shutting down mentally, when I'm on the cusp or freefalling into a depression. I don't think that's rude of me, it's me saving my own life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some men take rejection really badly and it's sad. It taints all other men. I've sent many messages on here and got few replies, but I understand most women have flooded inboxes and you won't be to everyone's tastes.

I've also had it from guys who message me and I've ignored them at times. They quickly turn angry and even at times abusive. Can't imagine what it's like for the poor women of Fab.

Respect should always come first

"
... This is correct. It does taint other men who have always been polite and mannerly. Hope the rotten apples don't turn women off rhe decent guys

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By *ivaniaMan
over a year ago

London

If you get a reply back saying not interested, it's a fair comment, no need to be pushy and disrespectful. We all have our type and choices, just move on.

There is still decent respectfull man on fab

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By *awty DawgMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I wouldn't want to know why. It's asking a question you probably don't want to hear the answer to lol

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman
over a year ago

St. Ives

Thank you all for your lovely replies. I really appreciate it xxxx

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I wouldn't want to know why. It's asking a question you probably don't want to hear the answer to lol"

I've just got one of those in my box , it's only a couple of minutes old ... I'm musing over the answer .

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

It maddens me to see this happen. I just can not understand how these idiots think it's acceptable.

Only yesterday I had a reply from a lovely couple saying I wasn't the kind of guy they wanted. My reply was , thanks very much for the reply and good luck with their search.

OP your block button is your friend with these guys.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

You are gorgeous! They are fucktards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

You’re gorgeous.

Don’t listen to anything to the contrary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No point in getting upset.

But in the other hand the bad behaviour of a lot of women on here needs a mention.

They get in touch or you to them.

They act interested. And you get on well. Even photos are exchanged

You arrange meet or a time for another chat.

Then.... Nothing. No reason given. No message saying "I changed my mind which is perfectly acceptable."

Just silence. To me that is ignorance and there is no excuse.

Bad behaviour unfortunately is a consequence of being on a site like this.

If I get a mk thanks or ghosting I delete and block.

I go quiet when I'm shutting down mentally, when I'm on the cusp or freefalling into a depression. I don't think that's rude of me, it's me saving my own life."

It's likely a lot of the men who send abusive messages are suffering from severe depression or some other mental illness.

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By *ower Couple - NorfolkCouple
over a year ago

Watton

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind."

Firstly Lydia, you are an attractive woman

Secondly, some sound advice in this forum which we do also. Reply politely, then block. That way you don’t get any flack from those who are too sad to accept that they are not gods gift, but also removes the risk of someone coming back onto radar at a later date that you are just not interested in. We find it thins the herd as it were. Don’t be afraid of the block button, we are not offended if we are blocked, it simply means that there is one less person for us to waste time on

Stay positive, it is them at fault, not you!

XxX

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By *ower Couple - NorfolkCouple
over a year ago

Watton

"Things we get a lot of after politely declining:

- why?

- but if I

- age is just a number

- do u actually meet?

- I like driving

If you've been declined what's the point of why? It's not going to change anything, age is a preference, yes we do and your love for travel is not in question

Hilarious to think that some people feel they can negotiate and change someone’s mind. Simple rule of swinging and you will find this on every clubs etiquette list (probably at number 1). No means no!!

On a separate note, GlossyLegs, you are a very sexy woman! Just had to be said XxX

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

Sorry to see you have had grief from a rejected tosspot, report the abuse and block the immature idiot Lydia he's not worth anymore of your precious time.

It's a sad fact but there are way too many inconsiderate people on here who do not read the profiles of the people they contact. That becomes clear when you get messages from people outside your age/gender request ect, I think the pandemic has made more of these idiots join the site out of boredom and hope when it's gone things will get slightly better.

You are a lovely looking lady that people should be glad to get to know and don't take anything said by these idiots to heart, they are just keyboard warriors and need shooting with a ball of their own shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I've had replies saying thanks but no thanks thats fine everyone is looking for something different (be boring otherwise). I just send a reply saying thanks for letting me know and have fab time.

Anybody who gets upset needs a reality check.

And op don't run yourself down your smile is an absolute knockout

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

I'm an overthinker and it can cut and hurt having a rejection. I get over this by remebering, I have my "life" partner. He picked me forever, warts and all. Plus they don't pay my bills. Not that my life partner dose, we're equal in that.

If we decline someone, for what ever reason, we're polight, then instant block.

Keep your head high, your worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could well be under the influence of drink or drugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t be everyone’s cuppa tea the world would be a boring place. get messages ignored/deleted all the time I’ve never once been rude to that person it’s all fun and games so move on can’t say I won’t send another a few months later to see if they’ve changed there mind some people are addictive

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By *-man24Man
over a year ago

northwest

"I wouldn't want to know why. It's asking a question you probably don't want to hear the answer to lol

I've just got one of those in my box , it's only a couple of minutes old ... I'm musing over the answer .

Just fuckem him off your amazing he’s a cunt and probably the only cunt he will get lol stunning you are x

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman
over a year ago

St. Ives

Loads of love to you all.. Thank you all so much xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loads of love to you all.. Thank you all so much xxxxx"

solidarity

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

This seems to be rife at the moment.

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

Just delete with no reply, and block if needs be; any reply, even a “no thanks” will be seen by some as an invitation to message further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel for you!

It’s terrible, and it can knock you, I’ve had abuse about my body, my race & I’ve had death/r*pe threats.

All it does it make me more picky, more wary and less likely to give guys a chance who I may have before due to being put off so easily.

People need to understand rejection isn’t personal.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

It’s when I go from “gorgeous” to “fat and ugly” in 30 seconds that makes me laugh haha xx"

Yep... Been there! Hot to ugly c*nt in less than 30 seconds

Dodged a bullet.

Have stopped being polite now and just block. Saves repeated messages x

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London

Lots of virtue signalling here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of virtue signalling here."

Or maybe some people are just decent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly didn't think women would get abuse from guys if they get rejected on here. I must have been dumb and very naïve.

What kind of an idiot loser would do that? I hope Fab kick abusers off the site.

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