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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Following a chance encounter last evening, where as the person got out of the car i knew he was not for me - I just openly said so in a polite way and he was fine with that....

So, how do you deal with a situation like that ?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

exactly the same as you.

and I am very happy for someone to say it to me as well.

it's all good

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"exactly the same as you.

and I am very happy for someone to say it to me as well.

it's all good

"

100% agree it goes both ways and its happened to me a few times and in all bar one im still chat buddies with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always have a social meet first, that way there is no pressure on either party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only had this once, luckily. In one of my few forays into meeting guys 1 on 1. He turned up at the door and looked quite different to his photos and I could just tell he wasnt for me. I just immediately said "sorry, but you arent my type". Luckily he appreciated the honesty so a potentially tricky situation was avoided!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"we always have a social meet first, that way there is no pressure on either party "

sound advice and one i tend to follow - but there are those rare spur of moment opportunities that come along and the chemisrty seems to be there so you go for a met all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following a chance encounter last evening, where as the person got out of the car i knew he was not for me - I just openly said so in a polite way and he was fine with that....

So, how do you deal with a situation like that ? "

Oh I hate those situations

I just feel so awful saying it.

That is the reason I think that woman want to send so many messages beforehand, they guys think we aren't genuine and just want to chat but its more the case of being certain before you meet.

I learnt a long time ago that no matter how attracted you are to someone by their messages and pics, always make your first meet a social one.

I still shudder at the one occasion I agreed to meet a guy at a hotel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have walked out on lots of meetings and parties, no problems in saying what we think. Don't see why we should go along with anything we don't want to!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would deal with it the same as you, but id be very polite, just because they werent for me doesnt mean they wouldnt be right for someone else. But i do get to know someone first and i see uptodate photos of them and they do me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first where possible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have walked out on lots of meetings and parties, no problems in saying what we think. Don't see why we should go along with anything we don't want to!"

good on you, trouble is how do you deal with negative responses - or is that a nother subject needed to run ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Following a chance encounter last evening, where as the person got out of the car i knew he was not for me - I just openly said so in a polite way and he was fine with that....

So, how do you deal with a situation like that ? "

did you say this as soon as he got out the car?

I think if i met someone and i knew as soon as i look at them theres no chance id still stay and have a drink, i think if someone has made the effort to come and meet me the least i can do is have a drink and a chat but making sure they know play wasnt happening so as not to lead them on

saying that i have never turned anyone down based on looks as i make sure i have seen them before i meet, usually on web cam as you get a better idea than a pic that could be 10 year old, so i tend to know what to expect looks wise so ive never looked at somene i have met and said no, but i have turned down meets based on personality which you can never really gage till you have met

But its best to just be honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would deal with it the same as you, but id be very polite, just because they werent for me doesnt mean they wouldnt be right for someone else. But i do get to know someone first and i see uptodate photos of them and they do me. "

recent photos - phone call - social meeting - are all best practise for majority i guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask for a photo from now and one from ten years ago. Although that might get you in trouble in some cases which is just wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask for a photo from now and one from ten years ago. Although that might get you in trouble in some cases which is just wrong. "

thats ok all of ares are from at least 10 years ago

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By *exyminxy111Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"Following a chance encounter last evening, where as the person got out of the car i knew he was not for me - I just openly said so in a polite way and he was fine with that....

So, how do you deal with a situation like that ?

did you say this as soon as he got out the car?

I think if i met someone and i knew as soon as i look at them theres no chance id still stay and have a drink, i think if someone has made the effort to come and meet me the least i can do is have a drink and a chat but making sure they know play wasnt happening so as not to lead them on

saying that i have never turned anyone down based on looks as i make sure i have seen them before i meet, usually on web cam as you get a better idea than a pic that could be 10 year old, so i tend to know what to expect looks wise so ive never looked at somene i have met and said no, but i have turned down meets based on personality which you can never really gage till you have met

But its best to just be honest"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask for a photo from now and one from ten years ago. Although that might get you in trouble in some cases which is just wrong.

thats ok all of ares are from at least 10 years ago "

Haha. Loookin good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have walked out on lots of meetings and parties, no problems in saying what we think. Don't see why we should go along with anything we don't want to!

good on you, trouble is how do you deal with negative responses - or is that a nother subject needed to run ??? "

Ha maybe it is. Just say sorry it isn't working and we are leaving (or words to that effect). We actually play in only about half of the circumstances either in clubs or privately.

Some call us timewasters but we are not one of those couples who drop our drawers for everybody!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some one linners i have used and been used ....

"thanks for coming but that walking stick and wig, did not show up on your photo"

or

"ermmmmmmmmmm let me see if i got this right - your 26 / very fit / smart/ and solvent: so now im thinking your kidding me - unlees you think 62 is the new 26 and your very fit for your age and your solvency is because you have your own motobilty car "

or

"hi when did you think i might notice your a fella then "tracy"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ok i lied i never heard them but they made me laugh thinking them up --- what can you add ?????

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