FabSwingers.com forum: Beautiful couple.

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Ok, so we are a relatively inexperienced couple here (but certainly not naive).

And we THINK we have found a couple that tick all our boxes. Tips on how to build up the courage to try and progress things further with them please? We are not talking about “have a call with them” “arrange a social” what we mean is what can be done to mentally prepare ourselves to obtain the courage and confidence to do that/suggest it. This couple could poss even be out of our league.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Message them and strike up a conversation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

They are not out of your league! They may not think you are their type or are into the things they like. But nobody is out of your league.

That’s a very poor way to think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Yeah that’s not what we mean. We have been in communication. What can WE do as a couple to Mentally ready ourselves to say to this couple “would you like to meet etc?”

If they say no, will it discourage us from continue searching.

What do couples do themselves to prepare. What if we do meet and they are not what we expected? Obviously we walk away but does the disappointment put us off?

What can WE do to prepare to take things to the next level is the question we are asking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Yes your right. There isn’t leagues. We may just not be their taste.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yeah that’s not what we mean. We have been in communication. What can WE do as a couple to Mentally ready ourselves to say to this couple “would you like to meet etc?”

If they say no, will it discourage us from continue searching.

What do couples do themselves to prepare. What if we do meet and they are not what we expected? Obviously we walk away but does the disappointment put us off?

What can WE do to prepare to take things to the next level is the question we are asking "

How do you take rejection? If you accept that you won't be everybody's cup of tea you will feel disappointed for an hour then get back to looking for people you'd like to meet. Don't take this too seriously.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

To be honest, I don't think there's anything you need to do or should be doing.

Remember when you were kids and you fancied someone but were too shy to say? I bet you wished now that you'd done something about it at the time.

Isn't this the same?

You like the idea of sharing with a couple. I take it they also list that as an interest? You've been chatting, (on a Swingers site!) so there's only another step to go. You'll get a yes or a no, but if you don't ask, you'll wish you did in the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Good advice. It’s been a challenge sifting through the let’s say unsuitable so if it doesn’t go as hope, then its just back to the drawing board isn’t it? Nothing lost.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Good advice. It’s been a challenge sifting through the let’s say unsuitable so if it doesn’t go as hope, then its just back to the drawing board isn’t it? Nothing lost. "

Exactly. We've been turned down and turned people down ourselves, it's part of swinging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *attenbergCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Well if they’re not interested we are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

So the anticipation is a massive high. And we have been having fantastic sex lately at all the thoughts and possibilities. When you have been turned down did u experience a low? Did u step away for a bit or did it have no effect whatsoever. What we are worried about is that it may discourage us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Thanks pigggle lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If you've ready been chatting, do you not have an idea of how the conversation is going.

Ask them if they'd be interested in a meet, once allowed.

The worst they can say is no op

I'm half a couple, we've been rejected before, and as nice couple said we've said no thanks too.

Be brave, good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So the anticipation is a massive high. And we have been having fantastic sex lately at all the thoughts and possibilities. When you have been turned down did u experience a low? Did u step away for a bit or did it have no effect whatsoever. What we are worried about is that it may discourage us. "

Are you asking us?

The reply+quote button under each post shows who you're talking to

No we didn't experience a low or step away. We acknowledge that we're not for everyone but we're confident in ourselves.

Bad experiences have made us step back now and then though.

Out of interest why do you feel being turned down would make you feel bad? Is it because you believe this couple to be very beautiful?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he force is strongeCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

As a couple we find we are not really bothered if we get knocked back,at the end of the day we have each other,getting knocked back is just part of the game, just ho for it and see what happens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Are you asking us?

The reply+quote button under each post shows who you're talking to

No we didn't experience a low or step away. We acknowledge that we're not for everyone but we're confident in ourselves.

Bad experiences have made us step back now and then though.

Out of interest why do you feel being turned down would make you feel bad? Is it because you believe this couple to be very beautiful?"

Yeah they are a stunning couple. And looks like their experience is through the roof. Which is actually a bit nerve wracking

(See we couldn’t even get to grips with the forum with out help lol)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Some one PM’d us and suggested that we inform them that we are going to a club at a specific date time and location. Then if they turn up it’s a good indication. If they don’t then there is no negative impact. This is good advice we think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Are you asking us?

The reply+quote button under each post shows who you're talking to

No we didn't experience a low or step away. We acknowledge that we're not for everyone but we're confident in ourselves.

Bad experiences have made us step back now and then though.

Out of interest why do you feel being turned down would make you feel bad? Is it because you believe this couple to be very beautiful?

Yeah they are a stunning couple. And looks like their experience is through the roof. Which is actually a bit nerve wracking

(See we couldn’t even get to grips with the forum with out help lol) "

we were all new to forums once.

If they are experienced they will understand that most people are a little nervous and if they're nice people will take account of that. However there is nothing you can do if they don't want to meet you.

How do you know they aren't sitting at home worrying about how to ask you to meet?

Once covid is over of course

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Are you asking us?

The reply+quote button under each post shows who you're talking to

No we didn't experience a low or step away. We acknowledge that we're not for everyone but we're confident in ourselves.

Bad experiences have made us step back now and then though.

Out of interest why do you feel being turned down would make you feel bad? Is it because you believe this couple to be very beautiful?

Yeah they are a stunning couple. And looks like their experience is through the roof. Which is actually a bit nerve wracking

(See we couldn’t even get to grips with the forum with out help lol)

we were all new to forums once.

How do you know they aren't sitting at home worrying about how to ask you to meet?

Once covid is over of course "

Very true

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustyshowoffCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Our mental attitude is that the other couple need to convince us that they deserve us, not the other way around.

Don’t sell yourselves short, you are just as special as them x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Approach it as if they're going to turn you down. That way, anything else is a nice surprise

We might be chatting with 5 or 6 couples at once and not end up meeting any of them. We find things can fizzle out if you don't have a meet up arranged within a week or so of first chatting. If you do get a 'no thanks' then don't take it personally.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our mental attitude is that the other couple need to convince us that they deserve us, not the other way around.

Don’t sell yourselves short, you are just as special as them x"

Absolutely agree. Nothing ventured nothing gained as they say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I think the most useful quality to engage on here is patience. If this encounter doesn't work out just be patient and wait for one that does. If it's meant to be, it will be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Some one PM’d us and suggested that we inform them that we are going to a club at a specific date time and location. Then if they turn up it’s a good indication. If they don’t then there is no negative impact. This is good advice we think "

In the nicest way, you really sound like you're overthinking this to a crazy extent. I'm not seeing what there is to mentally prepare for.

Your photo's are pretty limited (Does he exist? Go on, add a photo of him in ANY form...) but from what I'd see, you look out of "our league"... IF you don't think so, maybe that's food for thought for you.

IF you're worried, it probably proves you've nothing to worry about... It's the lazy, ignorant stumblers who SHOULD be worried, but aren't!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agicroundabout3100Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

"Yeah that’s not what we mean. We have been in communication. What can WE do as a couple to Mentally ready ourselves to say to this couple “would you like to meet etc?”

If they say no, will it discourage us from continue searching.

What do couples do themselves to prepare. What if we do meet and they are not what we expected? Obviously we walk away but does the disappointment put us off?

What can WE do to prepare to take things to the next level is the question we are asking "

Don't ever be discouraged. Everyone has different tastes so it's inevitable that some people may turn down your offer or invitation but when you do find the right couple it's so much fun and you will love it. Perseverance is the key and you will be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Have no expectations!

I think that's the best advice I can offer anybody. That way you cannot be disappointed.

You mention that they are experienced, so they will appreciate you are nervous and make allowances should you get further than just messaging.

Thing to remember, whilst they maybe perfect for you, they may not think the same for many reasons. Don't let it put you off, try being a single male! There are many people out there, so already stat searching for the next couple, just in case.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sending a message that stands out and shows you've read their profile is the best idea in this situation.

I don’t see the point in preparing and building up the courage because you could be met with a no or a deleted message and you'll be disappointed after making a fuss out of it.

Good luck! I hope it happens for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to admit we’ve never experienced a “low” if other people have decided we’re not for them - we understand that we don’t all like the same thing/fancy the same people etc and that we don’t tick their boxes. We’ve even had that in person in clubs.

Most people will be nice in explaining that they don’t think it’s a match, as we’re sure you would with others if they didn’t tick your boxes.

And if they are rude - well then you’re not losing out by them not meeting you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't be everyones cup of tea on here, you'll get turned down and turn people down its just part of swinging.

Just don't over think it guys, you just never know!

Ping a message over, if its a yes its a bonus, if not move on and find people that are looking for you!

Her x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

i think your approaching this from the wrong angle

working your way through every profile on fabs and whittling it down to one couple is probably the worst way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

We may be wrong but the status on your profile says it all.

You think that the couple you want to meet are the “Best Looking” you have seen on Fab.

If they won’t meet you then basically your swinging life is over.

They may be beautiful people but it doesn’t mean they will be the best sexual experience.

Maybe it’s a trophy type thing for you?

We think you need to have a word with yourselves.

We mean all of the above in the kindest way.

Good luck in your quest xxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Please don’t do this. That’s poor advice.

It is a bit presumptive especially when you don’t know they even like clubs, and if they do, whether they even like the club you are suggesting.

Also, I am a big fan of people asking me things directly and not suggesting something passively and letting it hang. If they are as experienced as you say, they might feel the same way.

My approach to the lifestyle is that I know exactly what I am bringing to the table and have a sense of worth, so nobody is out of my league. Perhaps the same mindset will work for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"You can't be everyones cup of tea on here, you'll get turned down and turn people down its just part of swinging.

Just don't over think it guys, you just never know!

Ping a message over, if its a yes its a bonus, if not move on and find people that are looking for you!

Her x"

This is pretty much it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"i think your approaching this from the wrong angle

working your way through every profile on fabs and whittling it down to one couple is probably the worst way"

This is interesting and was what we were hoping to get by our post. We are taking all this on board

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C7995X OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"We may be wrong but the status on your profile says it all.

You think that the couple you want to meet are the “Best Looking” you have seen on Fab.

If they won’t meet you then basically your swinging life is over.

Same with this. Thank you

They may be beautiful people but it doesn’t mean they will be the best sexual experience.

Maybe it’s a trophy type thing for you?

We think you need to have a word with yourselves.

We mean all of the above in the kindest way.

Good luck in your quest xxxxx"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just drop someone a message if you like the look of them, what’s the worst that can happen?. Go for it! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

Always message and use the profile as a guide

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread