FabSwingers.com forum: Girlfriend admits to liking women

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’d like some honest advice, my girlfriend of 10 years has recently stated to tell me she’s interested in other women and if I’m okay with it, would it be allright if she used a lesbian/bi app to talk and so on to other women, as it started I just didn’t pay any attention to it but last night I seen her messaging someone so asked if I could read the convo, which she let me and she was talking to a few women with mention that she fancies them and would like to meet up with them.

I don’t know wether I should allow it to carry on or will it turn into something bigger ?

To me personally I don’t mind her having a sexual relationship with another woman, my only fear is what the future outcome will be

Any advice or previous experiences would be appreciated

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

There's nothing for you to "allow".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing for you to "allow"."

Why do married men get slated on here then? What’s the difference?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What would you call it then if she’s asked for my permission from the start because we both have respect for each other ?

I’ve not posted to get judged by silly people like you I’m asking for advise if you don’t have it move on

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By *ragsterMan
over a year ago

Blackburn

Wow...you've gotta let her go with it now she has seen what's out there via the App.

I guess she'll be looking anyway whether you agree to it or not.

I wish my wife would admit to something like this...she would get all the encouragement she needs.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Add her to your profile, more chance of success as a couple, you get ya dick wet and she gets some too, plenty of bi women in couple set ups. Win win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing for you to "allow".

Why do married men get slated on here then? What’s the difference? "

Yeah that seemed like an unnecessary dig at someone who was looking for some advice.

I think the issue is if she likes women then that’s her. If she is going to cheat/ enter an emotional relationship with another woman then she will. If your relationship is strong and she is happy she is less likely to. Maybe it’s just a curiosity as to what being with a woman is like which once satisfied will come to nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Add her to your profile, more chance of success as a couple, you get ya dick wet and she gets some too, plenty of bi women in couple set ups. Win win."

This xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have concerns OP then I would recommend you have a mutual discussion, listen to each other’s views and fears, and try and agree boundaries that you will both be able to respect.

It’s only fun when all parties are happy, if anyone isn’t enjoying the situation then that could invariably lead to problems down the line.

Good luck.

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

But you're on here tho ? What if whatever you are doing on here turns into something bigger?

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

I think being a part of it together.. as in talking about it and sharing her experiences makes you more involved.

Either way you will never be able to change her..or what she wants... But if you are encouraging.. Then it's something you guys can enjoy together.

I remember telling my other half.. Lol.. He was very encouraging.. Haha

And I don't want a relationship with a women.. But enjoy being with women and developing friendships where we play sometimes too.. X

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

"If you have concerns OP then I would recommend you have a mutual discussion, listen to each other’s views and fears, and try and agree boundaries that you will both be able to respect.

It’s only fun when all parties are happy, if anyone isn’t enjoying the situation then that could invariably lead to problems down the line.

Good luck.

Very true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing for you to "allow".

Why do married men get slated on here then? What’s the difference?

Yeah that seemed like an unnecessary dig at someone who was looking for some advice.

Just to be clear your saying if his relationship is strong enough yet he is on a swingers site as a single male moaning that his “wife” is wanting to meet another women lol.

Does she know your on here OP and if so why is it different for you to be on a sex site ? Not a judgment just trying to get the full picture ?

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By *heekyredsoloWoman
over a year ago

bromborough

"If you have concerns OP then I would recommend you have a mutual discussion, listen to each other’s views and fears, and try and agree boundaries that you will both be able to respect.

It’s only fun when all parties are happy, if anyone isn’t enjoying the situation then that could invariably lead to problems down the line.

Good luck.

I agree with the above

Also I’m wondering, if she was chatting to gents would it be different, if you was chatting to other ladies would it be different?

I’m hearing you are possibly worried about her leaving you for a lady, which I can see your concern.....

However, communication is key here for sure...

You are in a relationship together so the terms of your relationship are set together

Good luck

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Does your girlfriend know you are on here ,if yes and wants to play with other woman while you are swinging all good , if not as you are only courting discuss your sex life with her about having an honest open relationship, or you just will be both cheating with each other , we were married 20 yrs before we started swinging and my wife said the idea of having fun with other woman excited her ,as we are in it together I said go for it and she will have fun with other women , sometimes alone with me on premises and sometimes in group or couple fun , But only to add a bit of spice ,just the same as when she playing with other guys ,bit of extra fun to enhance our marriage,

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"There's nothing for you to "allow"."
This stood out for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou take that into consideration

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou take that into consideration

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

As she is clearly allowing you to be on Fab and fuck other women, it's only fair you "allow" her to have sex with other women.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

You’re on here, does she “allow” that?

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

"As she is clearly allowing you to be on Fab and fuck other women, it's only fair you "allow" her to have sex with other women."

....or men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You "allow" her to do stuff

wow what a gent. Wonder if she "allows" you to be on here

Anyway, what about suggesting a couple's account on here?

I will "allow" you to put that idea to her

Mrs

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By *icky and MandyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Mmmmm.........

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I’d like some honest advice, my girlfriend of 10 years has recently stated to tell me she’s interested in other women and if I’m okay with it, would it be allright if she used a lesbian/bi app to talk and so on to other women, as it started I just didn’t pay any attention to it but last night I seen her messaging someone so asked if I could read the convo, which she let me and she was talking to a few women with mention that she fancies them and would like to meet up with them.

I don’t know wether I should allow it to carry on or will it turn into something bigger ?

To me personally I don’t mind her having a sexual relationship with another woman, my only fear is what the future outcome will be

Any advice or previous experiences would be appreciated "

Allow it ?

Have I woken up in 1903 by any chance ?

I'll give my friend Emmeline Pankhurst a call and pass on her advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WOW. So many people taking that 'allow' so literally. I personally just see it as a figure of speech.

'Allow' it to continue and see how you feel or have a grown up conversation about it.

I am with others though on another point, is she even aware you're on here? If she is then all is well, if she isn't then you have no choice but to 'allow' it

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

If she's been open and honest from the beginning she's clearly not trying to hurt you and if you're ok with her exploring her sexuality then go for it,

It may bring you closer..

I've been with my OH 20 years always had little flings with other women (with his knowledge) I love him so that's who I come home too, he's so much more to me than sex, he's hearth and home and my best friend..

Me having sexual relationships and friendships with other women has not impacted on our relationship negatively ever.. if it did we'd discuss it and change the boundaries. Open honest communication is key. Discuss what you're comfortable with and if something makes you uncomfortable talk to her. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If she's been open and honest from the beginning she's clearly not trying to hurt you and if you're ok with her exploring her sexuality then go for it,

It may bring you closer..

this, well said xx

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By *ornyandachingCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

There’s an app? Darn, I so never knew that...

If she’s telling you about her feelings then you need to discuss with her where you stand, I.e does she want you to be present? If so to just watch or to join in? If join in what boundaries does she want?

Discussing it up front will help maintain the trust and love you have for each other xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that your girlfriend feels able to tell you that she's attracted to women shows her trust and commitment in you.

There is nothing at all wrong with bi women - it can enhance a relationship.

But, as has been mentioned above, does your girlfriend know that you're on here? It could be classed as hypocritical if you're uncertain about her, if she doesn't know that you delve into swinging.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"There's nothing for you to "allow".

-----

Why do married men get slated on here then? What’s the difference? "

Marriage doesn't equate to ownership. We do not need permission of our "other half" to do anything. BUT....

We all have our own feelings and emotions. If your husband or wife was doing something that made you unhappy then it is your responsibility to make sure they know how you feel about it. If those emotions are enough to make you re-assess the relationship then it makes sense to discuss that so everyone is going into the situation with their eyes open.

Cal

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok, the man is new, has come onto a swingers forum to ask for some swingers advice, I am guessing he thought he may have come to the right place.

If you want to attack the man instead, stay off the thread please. The mans profile is also not up for discussion

If you want to help the man with advice, please be civil

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP, welcome to the forum, please don't be put off by some of the replies , most people on the forum are friendlier than this

To the comment of "allow" I don't see an issue with the word although I think agree would work too, we all have to work together in relationships and I don't think anyone in a loving relationship would do something the other doesn't want to.

To your OP, both of you have to be happy with what you or one of you is doing , if one isn't, it won't work. However, we all started somewhere in swinging and I bet a lot of people, us included didn't know if we were going to swing a second time , so if you and she is open to the idea there is only one way to find out if it is a horny thing or a turn off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this but she’s yet to act on it as far as I know

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

Encourage your wife to explore her sensuality ....you may be surprised how much more you can enjoy together ...x

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Let her know your ok with it as long as your part of it in some way, I’m not talking about getting involved sexually but maybe choose the other woman together

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By *eachesAndCream99Couple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

I hope you have a good open conversation with your partner. You’re on here, so I’m hoping you’ve informed her of that and you both consented to it. Therefore, she is just doing similar to you. Maybe set up an account for you both and one for her alone as well. I feel the time is now for a frank and honest conversation before it all goes terribly wrong...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing for you to "allow".

Why do married men get slated on here then? What’s the difference? "

So he's on here but he might not "allow" her to have her own fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know wether I should allow it to carry on or will it turn into something bigger ?

To me personally I don’t mind her having a sexual relationship with another woman, my only fear is what the future outcome will be

Any advice or previous experiences would be appreciated "

How did you agree with her for you being on here? Have the same conversation about her wanting to meet women.

If your rules are that you just have sex with women but nothing emotional then it sounds like that can work for her too.

Relationships can develop anywhere. Not necessarily just with people who fuck. No point worrying about the future.

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By *issysbee69Woman
over a year ago

Brandenburg

I had friends who were going through a little bit of the same situation but the wife was just bi curious and never had done anything physical to a woman but she had had woman do her then a lesbian friend who had been with them as a couple moved in with them (she was in a position where she was needing a place to stay for a while) but the hubby worked nights and the wife and her new roommate became more and more comfortable with each other and he was feeling like they were getting a little too close and he ended up having the one who stopped and told the wife that the girl was out and why he wanted her to leave and in the end, she moved out and they are ok still but they don't talk to the girl anymore. So you can talk about the situation with your girlfriend but I wouldn't say you don't allow stuff because I am going to say that you could get the opposite reaction and then it would start a new thing and you don't want to go to the point of that place

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