FabSwingers.com forum: Strapon & BDSM type play with swingers

By *itchfield OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm curious about whether those people on here who are into BDSM - in particular strapon play but any is of interest - indulge in their kinks with people they meet for swinging.

Or do people restrict their swinging activities to the more traditionally sexual areas. I know there are obviously people who are interested in both swinging and BDSM but do the two combine well?

Do those people into BDSM on here seek mostly/only people they can play with kinkily? I'd suspect there's a wide range of answers but it'd be interesting to see it discussed.

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By *ibertinesCouple
over a year ago

Cupar

Given the choice, we'd obviously play with people that are into the same stuff as we are. However, assuming someone takes my fancy, I'm happy to have kink free straight fun.

That said, its through sheer force of will that I keep my paws off hot straight guys when the party starts.

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

Having had experiences in bdsm in the past I'd probabley do it again, but so far I havent seen Bbdsm listed in many peoples profiles (ok theres a sm tick box)

and how does one approach the subject in a message?

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By *ibertinesCouple
over a year ago

Cupar

"Having had experiences in bdsm in the past I'd probabley do it again, but so far I havent seen Bbdsm listed in many peoples profiles (ok theres a sm tick box)

and how does one approach the subject in a message? "

It normally goes like this:

"Got anything you want to try out or fantasies?"

"Yeah a few I s'pose. You?"

"Yeah some. You into anything kinky?"

Now here, if they start quibbling over the definition of kinky, we know its time to put away the violet wand, candle wax and riding crop.

If they smile and quietly admit to "having their moments," we assume to be on to a winner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have found that the bdsm aspect goes better when meeting someone one on one, rather than couples.

I much prefer the BDSM aspect of it, although have played it vanilla ( far less fun and not as satisfying.

As for 'how do you find out'...well talking to someone before meeting them helps.

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By *itchfield OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Now here, if they start quibbling over the definition of kinky, we know its time to put away the violet wand, candle wax and riding crop.

If they smile and quietly admit to "having their moments," we assume to be on to a winner."

Sounds very sensible. I have noted some people really object to the idea that they're kinky. I wouldn't expect anything but vanilla play from them to be honest.

I wonder if trust is also an issue, you're already pretty vulnerable when meeting relative strangers and having sex. If you throw in a bit of BDSM you need to be able to trust them not to try anything they've no idea how to do or cause any serious injury. I think I'd want to trust them pretty well for that.

Unless I had a good reason to be sure of them I'd probably want to restrict play to the lighter aspects of BDSM anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BDSM & Swinging do cross over sometimes but you have to establish the parameters of any BDSM-play well beforehand so that all parties know what the limits are. Much in the same way as arranging a meet with 'normal' swingers, one has to ascertain which areas are off limits and if any particular fantasies are high on the agenda of 'must try'.

I have found, however, that when BDSM like-minded folk get together it is usually ALWAYS the case that kinky fun is the order of the day and straight sex seems to be abandoned.... and when that happens it's usually a contest to establish who is the more kinkier!

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By *itchfield OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Hmmm.... sounds promising..... *goes browsing for kinky profiles*

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

itsjust a shame when 1 part of the couple love to be (alittle) kinky and the other dosnt lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we've noticed that many couples list spanking as one of their interests,even if not SM.

So it seems quite a few have a 'kinky' side.

As our play/guest room has a St Andrews cross, flogging bench etc, it often ends up with someone getting a mild flogging and or strap-on play.

This isn't compulsory by any means,it just seems to develop that way at some stage.

As we said though, its only mild stuff, Trace saves the heavy stuff for work and the needs of the subs.

Of course though, we always look for compatible couples the same as everyone else.

XXXX

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