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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been on here for well over a year 3 on and off with old profile I had. Had a couple of meets yet nothing to show for it as in the way of veris which hampers a lot of potential down the line. My question is having been ghosted (lead up the path and time wasted for those who don't know the term basically) numerous times and on a few occasions verbally abused for their own insecurity should I bother to put the effort into funding further disappointment and futile attempts at being respectful, talkative and engaging to reap nothing in return?

It's not a rant before you ask I've had some splendid meets yet due to new profile and others no longer existing hence no veris I just find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place when folks look because of the lacking veris and because I'm but one of thousands and I try make an effort (probably to much at times haha)

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By *uscularLoveMan
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 02/04/21 13:08:13]

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

There's a pandemic & most people are not currently meeting.

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By *uscularLoveMan
over a year ago

london

I think this site should be used to communicate and find like-minded people to learn and have conversations with whom have the same interests as you.

Even without restrictions, you shouldnt expect anything to happen.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've had some great meets and this site has lead to some unbelievable fun but alas you can't transfer veris across accounts and you sure as heck don't want to pester someone under a new profile as you could be anyone fakes are so easy to come by on here but verifying is so hard on here as in order to do so you need to have been in the first place which makes no sense at all other then stopping every tom dick and Harry leaving reviews or spiteful things for all to see like a yelp review I guess. But for folks like myself who have made ever effort, not wasted anyone's time, been as others would have agreed but can't more fun then they imagined I fall into the category of sad wanker who's been on for years and is either ugly, crap in bed or a straight up weirdo haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to? "

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club.

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By *uscularLoveMan
over a year ago

london

I mean that's a bit harsh calling long-term users (ugly or wierdos)

Maybe they just feel apart of a community?..

I get that's your frustrated at your failed attempts to meet during lockdown but no need to be rude.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club."

Then you know how to meet people. I'm not sure what the issue is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not expecting anything to happen as I'm aware of the restrictions I'm just saying instead of investing into being ghosted more times then not is this worth the effort to chat to those who would genuinely be interested down the line and if so why is it that my lack of veris seems to put me at a bad footing when I'm anything but a jerk and timewaster

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club.

Then you know how to meet people. I'm not sure what the issue is."

The issue is conversation it seems to be a lost art and I'd like to see who's looked at my profile to say hi and more rather then message every user within the catchment area in the vain hope I get a response as they may not be a club or munch attendee

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I mean that's a bit harsh calling long-term users (ugly or wierdos)

Maybe they just feel apart of a community?..

I get that's your frustrated at your failed attempts to meet during lockdown but no need to be rude."

I'm not trying to meet during lockdown and the ugly and weirdo comment was aimed at myself, you've not seen the post I had on here regarding the torrent of verbal abuse I got after eventually sharing my actual face pic with someone who seemed promising for a future meet that knocked my confidence greatly and made me think they had a point.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club.

Then you know how to meet people. I'm not sure what the issue is.

The issue is conversation it seems to be a lost art and I'd like to see who's looked at my profile to say hi and more rather then message every user within the catchment area in the vain hope I get a response as they may not be a club or munch attendee"

Conversation isn't a lost art at all, you're simply trying to communicate with people who aren't wanting to talk.

You know full well that people at socials are there because they WANT to talk to new people, make new connections etc.

You're assuming what you want in the here and now (convo) is what others want too. You only need to search previous threads over this past year to see that's not been the case.

You'll probably get more communication off this thread than inbox traffic for 6 months.

Think of the site as a tool, a platform to keep in touch with the people you meet at events and munches and you may stand some chance of meeting expectations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club.

Then you know how to meet people. I'm not sure what the issue is.

The issue is conversation it seems to be a lost art and I'd like to see who's looked at my profile to say hi and more rather then message every user within the catchment area in the vain hope I get a response as they may not be a club or munch attendee

Conversation isn't a lost art at all, you're simply trying to communicate with people who aren't wanting to talk.

You know full well that people at socials are there because they WANT to talk to new people, make new connections etc.

You're assuming what you want in the here and now (convo) is what others want too. You only need to search previous threads over this past year to see that's not been the case.

You'll probably get more communication off this thread than inbox traffic for 6 months.

Think of the site as a tool, a platform to keep in touch with the people you meet at events and munches and you may stand some chance of meeting expectations.

"

I'll have to bare that in mind and bring it up in conversation that I'm on here and see if others are to, thanks never thought of it that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get your point OP and with restrictions its a non starter but like you on a old profile i put lots of polite effort in just to get lots of timewasters but there are genuine non judgemental foll on here who actually base a person on more than just looks. You say you will name and shame timewasters and thats a smart move as it will put off the real timewasters as they wont want the potential fall out from jobs etc. Best of luck after restrictions end.

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By *uscularLoveMan
over a year ago

london


"You THINK you're making effort.

How many organised social events have you been to?

How many clubs have you been to?

If you're into kink, how many munches have you been to?

I used to attend munches on a regular basis at the old sal in Notts as well as regular play events at the attic including many organised both in munch and via the club.

Then you know how to meet people. I'm not sure what the issue is.

The issue is conversation it seems to be a lost art and I'd like to see who's looked at my profile to say hi and more rather then message every user within the catchment area in the vain hope I get a response as they may not be a club or munch attendee

Conversation isn't a lost art at all, you're simply trying to communicate with people who aren't wanting to talk.

You know full well that people at socials are there because they WANT to talk to new people, make new connections etc.

You're assuming what you want in the here and now (convo) is what others want too. You only need to search previous threads over this past year to see that's not been the case.

You'll probably get more communication off this thread than inbox traffic for 6 months.

Think of the site as a tool, a platform to keep in touch with the people you meet at events and munches and you may stand some chance of meeting expectations.

"

Yes you tell him, you've got the right idea.

You should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.

In reply to your comment about finding yourself ugly. That's really sad bro. I'm sure your not as bad as you think. I get why now your venting so hard but trust me if you have a bit of security and exurberate positive and self-confidence then all of that won't seem as bad as you think

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get your point OP and with restrictions its a non starter but like you on a old profile i put lots of polite effort in just to get lots of timewasters but there are genuine non judgemental foll on here who actually base a person on more than just looks. You say you will name and shame timewasters and thats a smart move as it will put off the real timewasters as they wont want the potential fall out from jobs etc. Best of luck after restrictions end."

Bizarrely enough having added that much has greatly deterred a number of one liners and the such haha

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"The issue is conversation it seems to be a lost art and I'd like to see who's looked at my profile to say hi and more rather then message every user within the catchment area in the vain hope I get a response as they may not be a club or munch attendee"

OP, if people wanted to message you after looking at your profile, they would have. There is no need messaging them to say "hi" and to try and start the conversation. Also, a lot of people look in stealth mode so you would still be none the wiser.

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