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Sexless Passionless Marriages

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

You’re confusing need with want ..

If you’re wife knows and is in support then absolutely all bets are on. If you’re sneaking around and lying however .....

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By *rMrs84Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

You’re confusing need with want ..

If you’re wife knows and is in support then absolutely all bets are on. If you’re sneaking around and lying however ..... "

Bingo. It’s all about permission. I’d be fuming if we played with someone and found out afterwards their SO didn’t know. If your SO knows and doesn’t mind then that’s different.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

If one half of a couple isn't interested in sex, then it would make sense to discuss it & come to an understanding. Secrets and deceit always end badly.

Cal

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

Would your wife, whom you love dearly I assume, think it makes you a bad person?

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By *ragsterMan
over a year ago

Blackburn

Hi...I still have a very good sex life with my milf wife but my sex drive is through the roof and i would love nothing more than to watch my wife taking on more cock and pussy....but sadly involving others in our sex life just isnt on her 'to do ' list at all...

We've discussed it during our sex sessions and just says never confuse fantasy with reality.

I know I'm gonna get shot down but I'm just stating my own facts of why I am here on fabswingers

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

You do what you need to do

No one should be judging you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a much higher sex drive than my husband, and sexual interests he doesn't share. So being on here works well xx

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

1)Have you discuss an open marraige with your wife and discussed your physical needs to her so she is not being decieved.

If not, you are simply lying to her and if she find out, she will be hurt. If you are willing to hurt someone, you can't realy love them.

2)Are you upfront with the people you are having sex with.

If not, again, you are lying to them and regardless of who, someone is going to get hurn and therefore you have no true feelings for either.

You are aslo pulling someone else into your lies and effecting someone else life in a negative ways.

Regardless of the reasoning of the lie, it is just that.

Everyone is on theor own journey and excuses are just reasoning to yourself to continue to lie.

I have been on the recieving and more then once and nothing males it right.

I have also been in a marraige that ended sexless although I have got a high sex drive and before I was married was into swinging and exploring sexual desires with partners. Nothing can excuse cheating.

Talk to your wife and explain how you feel and what you want to help the marrage work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the responses...It is something she does not like to discuss. So no she dos know....hence why I said we have our own reasons. BTW - tone is a hard thing to pick up in messaging....so soft tone here...and again thank you

JJ - does your hubby know?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Everyone has to live their life the best way they can and live with the good or bad consequences of their actions.

My personal opinion is that there are two sides to every story but I'm not sure it's fair to hear only one side when the other person has no opportunity to present theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all the responses...It is something she does not like to discuss. So no she dos know....hence why I said we have our own reasons. BTW - tone is a hard thing to pick up in messaging....so soft tone here...and again thank you

JJ - does your hubby know? "

I've got a free pass. But what I do and with who is my business xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Everyone has to live their life the best way they can and live with the good or bad consequences of their actions.

My personal opinion is that there are two sides to every story but I'm not sure it's fair to hear only one side when the other person has no opportunity to present theirs."

Totally agree with you and recognise this is a one sided perspective.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Suppose what i should have added is that I dont want to be judged but that is obviously super difficult with the situation I am in.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

If one half of a couple isn't interested in sex, then it would make sense to discuss it & come to an understanding. Secrets and deceit always end badly.

Cal"

This totally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love these threads it's always the same want to live a single life but have the comfort of a relationship, blame the sexless marriage but claim it's a happy marriage other than lack of sex......so it's not a happy marriage.....it's time to have the tough talk either open relationship if that's what you both want or time to split up and move on a happy marriage doesn't involve cheating quite the opposite and remember if you go down the open relationship route it works both ways so she is free to meet others.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Suppose what i should have added is that I dont want to be judged but that is obviously super difficult with the situation I am in. "

Op you are free to choose your actions, but not free from the consequences of those actions.

People will judge, we all judge others, it's human nature.

Just make sure you are telling people you chat to that you're married, so they can decide for themselves if they want to meet or not.

There's many threads about this subject, if you really can't live without sex, then you should try and tell your wife that it's not something you're prepared to do and see if she will compromise and allow you to meet others for sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Love these threads it's always the same want to live a single life but have the comfort of a relationship, blame the sexless marriage but claim it's a happy marriage other than lack of sex......so it's not a happy marriage.....it's time to have the tough talk either open relationship if that's what you both want or time to split up and move on a happy marriage doesn't involve cheating quite the opposite and remember if you go down the open relationship route it works both ways so she is free to meet others. "

A simplified view point...its not about wanting to live a single life actually or shag everything that moves.

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By *etro manMan
over a year ago

manchester

Maybe a swingers club hotel meet etc when possible would be helpful I have been to afew n west and found them full of nice friendly people drinks chat relax and enjoy some touching or just watching I have been on my own and with female friends safe clean place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love these threads it's always the same want to live a single life but have the comfort of a relationship, blame the sexless marriage but claim it's a happy marriage other than lack of sex......so it's not a happy marriage.....it's time to have the tough talk either open relationship if that's what you both want or time to split up and move on a happy marriage doesn't involve cheating quite the opposite and remember if you go down the open relationship route it works both ways so she is free to meet others.

A simplified view point...its not about wanting to live a single life actually or shag everything that moves. "
life is simple it's humans that make it complicated. What is it about then?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have met a few people on here including couples every now and again...most dont mind...but I get the stigma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand how someone can say their relationship is "good" or "happy" when they can't be honest with their partner and are cheating.

I just genuinely don't get it.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

If one half of a couple isn't interested in sex, then it would make sense to discuss it & come to an understanding. Secrets and deceit always end badly.

Cal"

.

What they said

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it's sad if the love leaves a marriage.

Who gets the cat?

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By *uffnsmovCouple
over a year ago

Leeds/Wakefield


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

Knowing full well I was a very sexual man, my then wife, became over a matter if months uninterested in sex of any kind, talked about it, sought therapy, discussed alternatives. Non were acceptable. Result I moved out and met Vicky.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

Knowing full well I was a very sexual man, my then wife, became over a matter if months uninterested in sex of any kind, talked about it, sought therapy, discussed alternatives. Non were acceptable. Result I moved out and met Vicky. "

Thanks for that....interesting..and fast becoming an option.

BTW...cat would stay as we live in a quiet place...but would love to take him

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. "

I'm sorry, that must be awful for both of you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

appreciate that Nicecouple..thank you....btw this is not a 'Poor me' forum....i know i currently lack the mental strength to communicate properly...which is my cross to bear. But at this moment...moving out is not an option.

But again values everyone's response...no judgement on my part

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"My personal opinion is that there are two sides to every story but I'm not sure it's fair to hear only one side when the other person has no opportunity to present theirs."

My view is there are three sides, yours theirs and the truth. Regardless of our intentions, personal bias can influence how we perceive and tell our side.

Having been the cheat, and the cheated upon, I can only echo that communication is key and I wish I had done that sooner instead of living a lie as my mental health eventually suffered due to all the deception.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"appreciate that Nicecouple..thank you....btw this is not a 'Poor me' forum....i know i currently lack the mental strength to communicate properly...which is my cross to bear. But at this moment...moving out is not an option.

But again values everyone's response...no judgement on my part"

Are there any on line resources you could access that might help with your situation. I can't imagine your wife's happy and if you could somehow reach a resolution where you could live side by side it might be easier for you both.

Good luck to all concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a cheating coward does make you a bad person. If your not happy have the balls to leave not hurt someone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"My personal opinion is that there are two sides to every story but I'm not sure it's fair to hear only one side when the other person has no opportunity to present theirs.

My view is there are three sides, yours theirs and the truth. Regardless of our intentions, personal bias can influence how we perceive and tell our side.

Having been the cheat, and the cheated upon, I can only echo that communication is key and I wish I had done that sooner instead of living a lie as my mental health eventually suffered due to all the deception.

"

We live and learn and sometimes the lessons are really hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. "
oh right you just gave your self the answer get your bags packed no reason to stay if it's unhappy and sexless what else could be a reason to stay??Don't say kids,financial or I'll health none of them are reasons to stay in a bad relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. oh right you just gave your self the answer get your bags packed no reason to stay if it's unhappy and sexless what else could be a reason to stay??Don't say kids,financial or I'll health none of them are reasons to stay in a bad relationship."

I disagree. They are all reasons that keep people in marriages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

You don't need validation off strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every single person, relationship and scenario is different.

There are thousands and millions of combinations of reasons and factors that can influence how life goes.

One thing doesn’t mean it suites someone else.

All you can do is live your life, consider advice of how to change things.

But only you can decide if you want to or will do.

Looking for validation from other may make you feel better temporarily. But it wont resolve any dilemma you have, given that everyone sees things differently based on their own life.

Its a difficult situation you are in. You just have to consider your options rather than dwelling on it.

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By *areasRockinghorsepooWoman
over a year ago

my happy place

I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

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By *areasRockinghorsepooWoman
over a year ago

my happy place


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. oh right you just gave your self the answer get your bags packed no reason to stay if it's unhappy and sexless what else could be a reason to stay??Don't say kids,financial or I'll health none of them are reasons to stay in a bad relationship.

I disagree. They are all reasons that keep people in marriages. "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

I'd love to ask your wife how she feels about it.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

"

What I don’t understand is how someone can process to be a good spouse if you’re lying and cheating? Therefore the marriage isn’t happy if one person is being lied to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

"

Yeah I kind of look at it like that too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

What I don’t understand is how someone can process to be a good spouse if you’re lying and cheating? Therefore the marriage isn’t happy if one person is being lied to.

"

He's clearly said his marriage is an unhappy one.

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By *areasRockinghorsepooWoman
over a year ago

my happy place


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt

What I don’t understand is how someone can process to be a good spouse if you’re lying and cheating? Therefore the marriage isn’t happy if one person is being lied to.

"

Maybe they are good but not perfect.

Many of us have our faults and very few are perfect its just that this lie comes up often for discussion.

Are little white lies okay? Where do you draw the line?

Why should he have no sex the rest of his life because maybe his wife doesnt want it. If she turns vegan is he expected to do the same...silly comparison i know but hopefully you get my point.

I am very open minded though and if i couldnt give my partner something they needed i would encourage them to go elsewhere. Whether its sex or a fishing partner lol Life is too short.

Its not nice being cheated on i have been there but cheat for greed is different and not what i am meaning here.

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

Cheating will always be deemed wrong by other people. But nobody can comment on another person's relationship from the outside.

I spent fifteen years married to a man with autism who couldn’t say my name or look me in the eye, let alone hold my hand. Affection is INFINITELY more important than sex, imho. He's a workaholic and an excellent provider, but the marriage was cold and lonely, and I was starved of conversation, love, and human contact, before we finally parted company. (We waited until our sons were older.)

Incidentally, we get along fine, now!

As has been said in this thread, you do you. Life is short and none of us are getting out alive. Just be as honest as you can be with the people in your life. You can make your own decisions, but allow the people you meet to be fully informed.

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By *areasRockinghorsepooWoman
over a year ago

my happy place

I am not just meaning his, my comment is a general comment on my thoughts sorry if it came across just meaning OP

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By *areasRockinghorsepooWoman
over a year ago

my happy place


"

Cheating will always be deemed wrong by other people. But nobody can comment on another person's relationship from the outside.

I spent fifteen years married to a man with autism who couldn’t say my name or look me in the eye, let alone hold my hand. Affection is INFINITELY more important than sex, imho. He's a workaholic and an excellent provider, but the marriage was cold and lonely, and I was starved of conversation, love, and human contact, before we finally parted company. (We waited until our sons were older.)

Incidentally, we get along fine, now!

As has been said in this thread, you do you. Life is short and none of us are getting out alive. Just be as honest as you can be with the people in your life. You can make your own decisions, but allow the people you meet to be fully informed."

Exactly...and worded better than i have lol

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Been there, done that, got the divorce papers. Its how I ended up on fab years in the first place

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"You do what you need to do

No one should be judging you

"

But they are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again..."

What is it you're actually looking for? You appear to be saying you're here because there's no sex at home but you say in your profile it's not just about sex. I'm not sure what it is you're expecting from this post either, if you don't wish to be judged then surely you'd have been better keeping your head down and going about your business? No one here can advise you what to do, only you know the answer to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again..."
if your boys find out your cheating it will end up a lot worse than mummy and daddy getting an amicable divorce

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

There are better hookup sites for cheating , most people on here don’t want the drama or needy of cheaters

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By *ex-BombsCouple
over a year ago

Flitwick

Circumstances can be very challenging especially during the pandemic however if you’re not happy.......leave, I’m sure you’re situation is very hard personally and emotionally but nobody deserves to be cheated on, I’d assume your wife is unaware of your profile? Perhaps think of how you would feel if it were her in here instead of you?

I hope you both find a peace

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Your circumstances are your own, but if you seek validation it’s likely because you know the answer already. You know that through your actions other people are having the choice taken from them. Your wife may choose to stay or go if you told her, but at least she is informed and has a choice.

V x

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Love these threads it's always the same want to live a single life but have the comfort of a relationship, blame the sexless marriage but claim it's a happy marriage other than lack of sex......so it's not a happy marriage.....it's time to have the tough talk either open relationship if that's what you both want or time to split up and move on a happy marriage doesn't involve cheating quite the opposite and remember if you go down the open relationship route it works both ways so she is free to meet others.

A simplified view point...its not about wanting to live a single life actually or shag everything that moves. life is simple it's humans that make it complicated. What is it about then?. "

I don't have a dog in this fight but really ? Life is simple ? Sounds like you haven't lived enough yet.

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By *ippy68Man
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

I’m in much the same situation as you, I also have my reasons for remaining here however I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business to be honest. Again many will disagree with that however nobody should sit in judgement over anyone in my opinion.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again..."

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms."

Completely in agreement

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

Completely in agreement"

I've had people tell me I should feel grateful that my dad stayed as long as he did.

I'm a sensitive cunt, you know what I felt? Guilty. I carried guilt for years that my parents were unhappy because of me. OK, I wasn't the reason their marriage failed, but I WAS the reason they were still together, and living unhappy lives. I felt like I had stolen potential happiness from them, just for being born.

That's one hell of a burden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest OP, you're not on your own.

I've stayed for certain reasons but lately I've been giving more consideration to leaving even to the point of looking for places to live and sourcing things to furnish it.

After years of what is feeling more like oppression as each day goes by I'm getting to the end of my tether with it.

No final decision made yet because I still have the tiniest bit of hope left, unfortunately that little flame is nearly extinguished

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest OP, you're not on your own.

I've stayed for certain reasons but lately I've been giving more consideration to leaving even to the point of looking for places to live and sourcing things to furnish it.

After years of what is feeling more like oppression as each day goes by I'm getting to the end of my tether with it.

No final decision made yet because I still have the tiniest bit of hope left, unfortunately that little flame is nearly extinguished "

Hear you loud and clear...i am in a very controlling relationship but have been able to handle it.

Would never put the burden of saying i stayed because of the kids so agree with the princess there. I teach my kids a lot all of those things. But very hard when you are constantly put down...but now bordering on the pity element...which i am not looking for. Interesting views from everyone...so thanks again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

Completely in agreement

I've had people tell me I should feel grateful that my dad stayed as long as he did.

I'm a sensitive cunt, you know what I felt? Guilty. I carried guilt for years that my parents were unhappy because of me. OK, I wasn't the reason their marriage failed, but I WAS the reason they were still together, and living unhappy lives. I felt like I had stolen potential happiness from them, just for being born.

That's one hell of a burden."

100% x

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By * little bit naughtyCouple
over a year ago

Bedford

This reminded me of a Dan savage response

I agree x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you feel if tables were turned...

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

This was me also about 15 years ago, I stayed for the sake of my kids foolishly thinking that was the right thing to do.

For me the children were the only thing keeping me in my marriage and it was hell. Looking back I wish I had left it sooner than I did but hind sight is a wonderful thing.

You say you have your reasons for staying and I respect that but you really need to either leave or have a conversation about an open relationship with her. It's not fair to either of you if you haven't done this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

What you do is absoloutly your business, I have a feeling though you are feeling guilty and you have come on here to get support for your decisions to cheat on your loving wife and make yourself feel better.

Whatever way only you can be honest with yourself, your not alone there are many on both genders cheating on their partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

Completely in agreement

I've had people tell me I should feel grateful that my dad stayed as long as he did.

I'm a sensitive cunt, you know what I felt? Guilty. I carried guilt for years that my parents were unhappy because of me. OK, I wasn't the reason their marriage failed, but I WAS the reason they were still together, and living unhappy lives. I felt like I had stolen potential happiness from them, just for being born.

That's one hell of a burden."

Why would your dad put that on you?

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms."

Omg just this!!!!!!!!!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Google

Tony Robbins - saves a marriage

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Google

Tony Robbins - saves a marriage"

thanks

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

Completely in agreement

I've had people tell me I should feel grateful that my dad stayed as long as he did.

I'm a sensitive cunt, you know what I felt? Guilty. I carried guilt for years that my parents were unhappy because of me. OK, I wasn't the reason their marriage failed, but I WAS the reason they were still together, and living unhappy lives. I felt like I had stolen potential happiness from them, just for being born.

That's one hell of a burden.

Why would your dad put that on you?"

I didn't get on with my mum and when he told me he was going I said I was surprised he lasted as long as he did, that's when he told me "it's been hard gal, but I needed to make sure you were gonna be able to stand on yer own 2 feet"

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We'd say it's fine if being on here if she is fine with it, otherwise you may have a difficult decision to make.

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. oh right you just gave your self the answer get your bags packed no reason to stay if it's unhappy and sexless what else could be a reason to stay??Don't say kids,financial or I'll health none of them are reasons to stay in a bad relationship."

I agree...get out and start a happier life...as life is just too short for 'conveniences'...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"thats the point...i am in a very unhappy marriage but for certain reasons have stayed..rightly or wrongly. Never said it was all happy and wonderful. oh right you just gave your self the answer get your bags packed no reason to stay if it's unhappy and sexless what else could be a reason to stay??Don't say kids,financial or I'll health none of them are reasons to stay in a bad relationship.

I agree...get out and start a happier life...as life is just too short for 'conveniences'... "

I see this said a lot. How do you know a happier life is possible for him?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Think if I was in a sexless relationship I would be asking what am I doing wrong, not blaming a need onto others.

Every stick has two ends.

Well in my world.

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By *adbod73Man
over a year ago

Coventry


"Think if I was in a sexless relationship I would be asking what am I doing wrong, not blaming a need onto others.

Every stick has two ends.

Well in my world."

This was me and my recently separated ex. i spent many a night lying awake in bed after more and more put downs or rejections after trying to reignite the passion and desire we once had (we're together 15 years) flowers, meals out, arranging babysitters to have one after another rejections you start to question yourself and what you are doing wrong. Open discussion becomes difficult and i have since found out that she felt that our sex life was sufficient (6 times in 30 months - i know who counts?) Supported her through numerous illnesses and helped whenever and wherever i could around the house, but still came back to question what else could i do. Decided i just couldn't go on and spoke about how the lack of intimacy was breaking us apart but if you don't see it as a problem, which she didn't, there was never going to be a resolution. Tough decision and she had made her mind up that she couldn't / wouldn't want anymore. Really sad and suggested counselling etc, but once her mind was made up! That was it and tbh have not looked back and loving the site more as a single than did as a couple.

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

I'd just leave.

I know that it's difficult, I know that it has to be openly discussed. I know that not feeling loved in a relationship is an impossible situation to be in.

Just leave.

If it's children that you're staying together for tell them openly. They'll come round to your way of thinking in the end.

Falling knifes and falling wife's, let them fall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again...

My dad stayed until I was old enough to fend for myself.

You know what that gave me? I fucked up version of what a happy marriage looked like.

My first serious relationship I probably ran too soon, coz I didn't wanna be like my dad and stay in an unfulfilling relationship for the sake of my child. I wanted to show him that yes, we have a responsibility to our children, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves AND our partners and if things aren't right it would have been selfish of me to stay and take away my ex's opportunities to meet someone else.

My next serious relationship. 11 years, I was abused for 8 of them. Too afraid not to try EVERYTHING to make it work

You wanna teach your kids, teach them healthy, teach them boundaries, teach them bravery, but most of all teach them respect, and that comes in many forms.

Completely in agreement

I've had people tell me I should feel grateful that my dad stayed as long as he did.

I'm a sensitive cunt, you know what I felt? Guilty. I carried guilt for years that my parents were unhappy because of me. OK, I wasn't the reason their marriage failed, but I WAS the reason they were still together, and living unhappy lives. I felt like I had stolen potential happiness from them, just for being born.

That's one hell of a burden."

Here is a peak into the damage and burden placed onto children by parents who 'stay in unhappy marriages just for the children.

In my line of work we often see the damage such decisions have had on the children long into their own adulthood.

If you also get exposed / caught cheating to which further damage is placed not just on your partner but for all in your household, especially your children.

An amicable split (without betrayal or doing it for the children burdens) where both parties remain respectful, faithful and supportive of each other is infinitely better for the children than the course your currently on buddy.

KJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest OP, you're not on your own.

I've stayed for certain reasons but lately I've been giving more consideration to leaving even to the point of looking for places to live and sourcing things to furnish it.

After years of what is feeling more like oppression as each day goes by I'm getting to the end of my tether with it.

No final decision made yet because I still have the tiniest bit of hope left, unfortunately that little flame is nearly extinguished

Hear you loud and clear...i am in a very controlling relationship but have been able to handle it.

Would never put the burden of saying i stayed because of the kids so agree with the princess there. I teach my kids a lot all of those things. But very hard when you are constantly put down...but now bordering on the pity element...which i am not looking for. Interesting views from everyone...so thanks again"

I thought you posted on this thread that you are in an unhappy, controlling marriage and one of the reasons your staying was for your boys?

Apologies if I have misread that?

KJ

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By *nsatiable and sultryCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Great thread and some great responses.

I was in a sexless marriage. In 13 years i never cheated on her... Until ironically...she had affair with her boss!

I was desperate for good sex... Everything else in my life seemed perfect (although it wasn't) kids, house, my wife. I even wrote her a letter to express my frustration and appeal to her.... But it was ignored and barely even acknowledged.

I was very broken when i discovered the affair. I soon discovered online dating and wasnt long before i was having the kind of sex i had craved for years! But nothing can replicate sex in love.

I finally found a partner with whom the sex was not only out of this world, but they adored me, would do anything for me, and also had a very filthy mind similar to mine in wanting to explore with others....perfection. Like others have said... Communication is the key. I could tell her anything - and likewise. I didnt have that kind of trust with ex-wife.

If i had stayed in my previous marriage i rekon i would have inevitably cheated, thats me just being honest with myself. Its very hard to know and when to accept a relationship isnt working out. If the sex isnt there though when one of you really desire it, then i think the relationship is inevitably headed for rocks unless you both start to communicate and come to an understanding at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would only get married to someone I could drain of money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la


"Thanks every for your time and input. I have stayed because of my boys they are getting to an age where they will leaving the nest soon. so big decisions will have to be made. But thank you again..."

My parents stayed together for the sake of the kids. My siblings and I grew up in a pretty unhappy household as a result, although my parents tried to keep up a facade we were all aware they weren't happy and we were actually relieved when they finally split up. As an adult I actually carry quite a lot of guilt & anger over it all and I ended up in a pretty toxic relationship myself because I believed that you stay regardless of how bad things are. Staying for the sake of the kids can actually sometimes be more damaging in the long term.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want. "

Once a week is hardly zero sex drive .....

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

[Removed by poster at 29/03/21 12:13:48]

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Swingers can be so judgemental , but then having re-read the OP not sure what else you expected. Did you have a specific question? Is it right to cheat? No , so people do it on here , No OP you are the only one, everyone else is perfect

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want. "

Why don’t you be brave and tell her you are feeling the need to cheat again and bring it to a head. If you’re good and truly love her and care about her she might accept it and all grew to a poly or open relationship. Or she might tell you some home truths about why she doesn’t want sex with you. Or you might decide to split up and she might magically get her sex drive back once she’s done with you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want.

Once a week is hardly zero sex drive ..... "

I'd consider once a week REALLY fucking regularly and a massive effort being not only made but continually met by someone with zero sex drive.

No kissing or cuddling suggests me there's resentment there, and that actually she's "taking one for the team" on a weekly basis to keep you happy.

Just my take on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not going in to vast detail but the cheat/ swap was over 20yrs ago.

In her words at the time it was just sex and ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lots of interesting points...but having read some of the male responses, I can definitely identify and would never judge.

Sometimes very very hard to communicate and you just end up going on as you are to keep the peace so to speak.

From my perspective I would be happy for her to find a lover but this would be alien to her...catholic guilt etc.

ANyway, again thanks for your responses...Every person/relationship is different and not always as easy as some suggest.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want. "

Sex once a week, compared to most of us you’re like a rock star

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Married yes

In love yes

soulmate yes

Sex non penetrating

Talked about it yes loads of times.

Cheated . In the past and confessed and we both ended up swapping with a couple.

Will things ever change in the sex dept. Dont think so.

Married for 28yrs and her sex drive is near zero always has been. once a week and thats it no kissing or cuddling before or after.

Would I cheat again. Yes , No , maybe, not sure.

We've spoken so many times I have just given up and accepted that some people wont or cant change.

Judge me if you want.

Once a week is hardly zero sex drive .....

I'd consider once a week REALLY fucking regularly and a massive effort being not only made but continually met by someone with zero sex drive.

No kissing or cuddling suggests me there's resentment there, and that actually she's "taking one for the team" on a weekly basis to keep you happy.

Just my take on it "

I would also agree with you there .

Once a week is more regularly than ive ever experienced once in a settled relationship. These days its once a year or less ..

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By *uffolksubWoman
over a year ago

Brandon


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

Yeah I kind of look at it like that too.

"

Me as well

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

[Removed by poster at 30/03/21 17:43:01]

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield


"I often find these threads difficult to post on as my opinion seems very different to the majority but here goes...

I try to look at it from all angles.

If someone loves their other half, their kids, is happy in all aspects of the relationship and home life apart from the lack of sex, is that not unfair by the partner to expect them to be celibate just because its their choice to be so?

Is it best to leave a perfectly good marriage just because the sex isnt there? Or continue in a loving happy relationship growing old together but one of you is getting what they want elsewhere.

I wouldnt dream of being in a long term relationship and suddenly saying to my partner look i really dont want sex so you also cant have it...ever.

I am not saying i think its right or wrong to cheat but none of us know the ins and outs of someones home life or the true reason they do what they do but shaming them is no help at all.

Yeah I kind of look at it like that too.

Me as well "

Top set of postings, you speak for many of us. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've jumped near enough to the bottom of this thread so if this has been said already, please ignore.

It's okay for folks to judge or have an opinion when it's not them in the situation.

If you're attached and playing away because it's not happening at home, just be safe and enjoy as long as you understand your family should always come first.

This isn't about liars or cowardice, it's about at least being truthful somewhere, about getting what you need and being happy in yourself at least a couple of hours a week, I know been there whilst hitched.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd think you should speak about everything I don't agree with being on here without your partners knowledge if your marriage is sex less then it needs to be spoken about and find the reason why...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she doesn’t know will not hurt her

Just be careful

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Think it's sad if the love leaves a marriage.

Who gets the cat?"

The cat decides

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've jumped near enough to the bottom of this thread so if this has been said already, please ignore.

It's okay for folks to judge or have an opinion when it's not them in the situation.

If you're attached and playing away because it's not happening at home, just be safe and enjoy as long as you understand your family should always come first.

This isn't about liars or cowardice, it's about at least being truthful somewhere, about getting what you need and being happy in yourself at least a couple of hours a week, I know been there whilst hitched....."

COuld not agree more. Have had some nice PM messages as well as some slightly more to the point ones. Everyone's situaiton is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've jumped near enough to the bottom of this thread so if this has been said already, please ignore.

It's okay for folks to judge or have an opinion when it's not them in the situation.

If you're attached and playing away because it's not happening at home, just be safe and enjoy as long as you understand your family should always come first.

This isn't about liars or cowardice, it's about at least being truthful somewhere, about getting what you need and being happy in yourself at least a couple of hours a week, I know been there whilst hitched....."

When you say ‘your family should always come first’....it sounds like you’ve misunderstood the thread cheating on a partner or living a lie in front of children or other family members is still a lie, even if not verbal, and obviously does not put family first, it puts them second to an individuals perception of wants / needs. Zero judgement, I just didn’t understand that aspect of your response.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

My marriage has been sexless fir a good 2 years and likely still will be

Reason I'm here with his knowing and a good few hotwife scenarios played out

Hubby accepts what I want and makes sure I'm happy n safe doing it

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat


"You do what you need to do

No one should be judging you

"

-----

Exactly its a SWING site so tbh anything should go as long as discreet impo

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat


"I have a much higher sex drive than my husband, and sexual interests he doesn't share. So being on here works well xx"

-------

As you know I think.

I'm so nearly possibly the same as you but with a wify.

Who has no sex drive or sexual want THATs ZERO ZILTCH NOTHING.

But My situation is slightly different to most.

I don't think I will ever leave her as she is a very nice lady and we love lots of the same things in life.

MUSIC.

WINE.

HOLIDAYS.

MEALS OUT.

SAME FOODS and more.

She knows I have strayed mainly on one night bangs lol.

BUT

*She disapproves*

Thinks I should put up with it

And endless chats and claims by me that a HORNY guy like me still LOVEs SEX as I do.

"Falls on deaf ears"

No councilling will not WORK Beleave.

She has never had a high sex drive.

No She does not know im on her, and would defo disapprove and not understand.

AM I BAD AND WRONG TO BE HERE?

I DON'T THINK SO!.

BETTER THAN USING A STREET LADY

BETTER THAN A LONG TERM AFFAIR

BETTER THAN MEET/DRUG/RAPE

(they should be SHOT/HUNG

**Think you get my picture**

I LOVE/WANT/NEED sex.

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat


"Thanks for all the responses...It is something she does not like to discuss. So no she dos know....hence why I said we have our own reasons. BTW - tone is a hard thing to pick up in messaging....so soft tone here...and again thank you

JJ - does your hubby know? "

-----

Nearly same here O.Poster so I fully understand.

If F.S and a very wide "YOUR PARTNER STATUS" that had to be completed by all members it may help.

See my ideas in one of my posts on this tread.

T

Its tuff and the critical peps will understand much better if and when it happens to them.

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat


"Everyone has to live their life the best way they can and live with the good or bad consequences of their actions.

My personal opinion is that there are two sides to every story but I'm not sure it's fair to hear only one side when the other person has no opportunity to present theirs."

------

Very well put.

But most 2parts like mine would NOT COMMENT ON A SITE LIKE THIS sadly.

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat

[Removed by poster at 01/04/21 01:08:06]

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat

As seen above in a reply.

-----

YES!

I do have a unrevealed wify.

-----

She has no sex drive or sexual want/desire anymore.

YES THATs ZERO ZILTCH NIL NOWT.

------

But My situation is slightly different than lots.

------

I don't think I will ever leave her as she is a very nice lady and we love lots of the same things in life.

MUSIC.

WINE.

HOLIDAYS.

MEALS OUT.

SAME FOODS and lots more.

------

She knows I have strayed mainly on one night bangs lol.

BUT

*She disapproves*

And thinks I should put up with no sex.

And endless chats and claims by me that a HORNY guy like me still LOVEs SEX and has needs as I do.

"Falls on deaf ears"

-------

No councilling will not WORK Beleave.

------

She has never had a high sex drive like me tbh.

Married 20+ years

------

No She does not know im on here, and would defo disapprove and not understand.

------

AM I BAD AND WRONG TO BE HERE?

I DON'T THINK SO!.

BETTER THAN USING A STREET LADY

BETTER THAN A LONG TERM AFFAIR

BETTER THAN MEET/DRUG/RAPE

(They should be SHOT/HUNG).

**Think you get my picture**

I LOVE/WANT/NEED sex.

------

Are you the same?

Or understand and except!.

And happy with FWB or NSA fun?

**Send nice message and Wink**

or just a intelligent message.

T.x.

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat

Plus.

Impo.

If F.S had a BIGGER OPTION ON YOUR PARTNER STATUS.

That had to be completed by all members before being accepted it may help others.

You may still lie, but currently you have little or no option.

Ideas.

100% Single and looking.

Couple both playing.

Couple Male and or Female only plays.

Same married.

Same Partnered.

Same Gay.

Gay and 100% single.

Married they know,but not happy.

Married and naughty Nsa person.

Married and full other half permission to play.

Not happy to reveal but please ask for truth.

-----

"There are prop lots other options aswell maybe as many as 50 lol"

At least it would give the honest a chance to reveal if they wished to impo.

T.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Plus.

Impo.

If F.S had a BIGGER OPTION ON YOUR PARTNER STATUS.

That had to be completed by all members before being accepted it may help others.

You may still lie, but currently you have little or no option.

Ideas.

100% Single and looking.

Couple both playing.

Couple Male and or Female only plays.

Same married.

Same Partnered.

Same Gay.

Gay and 100% single.

Married they know,but not happy.

Married and naughty Nsa person.

Married and full other half permission to play.

Not happy to reveal but please ask for truth.

-----

"There are prop lots other options aswell maybe as many as 50 lol"

At least it would give the honest a chance to reveal if they wished to impo.

T."

What’s even more weird is the fact you have a female on your pfp .......

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"You do what you need to do

No one should be judging you

-----

Exactly its a SWING site so tbh anything should go as long as discreet impo"

Let’s say it again for those who STILL don’t get it ....

SWINGING ISNT CHEATING ITS ETHICAL NON MONOGAMY

.... there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one of those, gave it one last chance, but now I am just waiting for the Decree Nisi now.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"I had one of those, gave it one last chance, but now I am just waiting for the Decree Nisi now."

I think many of us have done the same and it went the same way.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You do what you need to do

No one should be judging you

-----

Exactly its a SWING site so tbh anything should go as long as discreet impo

Let’s say it again for those who STILL don’t get it ....

SWINGING ISNT CHEATING ITS ETHICAL NON MONOGAMY

.... there "

Is that just a fancy way of saying it's sex for fun?

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If you are not happy in your marriages and not getting what you want, divorce is the option. Let your spouse go find someone they are compatible with.

I don’t get the ‘my spouse approves’. I’m actually a touch old fashioned but each to their own.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

My wife fucks a married guy , she knows he sees other women and has no issues , financial reasons keeps them together ,she don’t know he’s fucking my wide and we will not let her know due to the fact it could put their jobs on the line , he also sees another married woman but her husband does not know ,he,s a bit of a jigalo, there’s lots on here both male and female that play behind there partners backs some cheat and some don’t , I personally don’t if I was playing ,wife gets too know too as she likes sucking my cock knowing it’s been inside another lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

At the end of the day it is your decision and responsibility and nobody else's to judge. I met a woman who was allowed to play because her husband who was dying from cancer and another who hubby could not make her orgasm. I am lucky that my two long term relationships have been open ones.

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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat


"My wife fucks a married guy , she knows he sees other women and has no issues , financial reasons keeps them together ,she don’t know he’s fucking my wide and we will not let her know due to the fact it could put their jobs on the line , he also sees another married woman but her husband does not know ,he,s a bit of a jigalo, there’s lots on here both male and female that play behind there partners backs some cheat and some don’t , I personally don’t if I was playing ,wife gets too know too as she likes sucking my cock knowing it’s been inside another lady "

----

Well said trucker.

After all it is FABSWING

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a sexless marriage for over 13 years. Last December 2019 my now ex husband decided to come on here then went onto a dating site without me knowing! I thought he was stressed with work! He had been chatting to other woman apparently he had met someone and slept with them in my bed! I didn't find out until November last year! Hence why he is my ex now and he will never tell me the whole truth as he thinks that everyone else is to blame! Anyway I'm better off being single

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

My.martiage is sexless and has been for 5 yrs or so.

He.loves me and wants me to be happy therefore agrees and accepts that I'm on here as single female

Passion less, absolutely not, we show.passionl, love and all through our own ways toeach other

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Here we go again. Why is it these 'Cheating*' threads are rarely started by women?

Is it because they don't feel the need to look for sympathy shags?

Does it ever work, has any woman on here ever thought "Awww poor bloke, I'll fuck him and try and cheer him up"?

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By *oriarty99Man
over a year ago

London


"Hi All,

know this wont be to everyone's liking but here goes. So who of us are on here because of being in a sexless passionless marriage but circumstance (what ever that may be) means we seek solice on here.

I know it is deemed 'cheating' but we are all hot blooded people and need the feeling of desiring and being desired.

I have stayed because of personal reasons but that does not mean the firew has burned out.

All views welcome and please be nice as well as constructive. We all have our reasons and does not (in my case) make me a bad person. Always two sides.

"

End the relationship immediately. The lying, deception, and cheating will eventually kill you. Thankfully people who cheat are easily found out on here.

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