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At first my wife thought this was cheating

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By *ot Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Camborne

When I told my wife about us joining this site she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"When I told my wife about us joining this site she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating"
sounds like she wasn’t keen from the outset I notice you’re use of words “I told my wife “

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

And what is her opinion of it now?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"When I told my wife about us joining this site she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating"
To me it sounds like the thought was in her head that she wanted another man but not in reality.

She doesn't sound too happy to be doing it if that's how she feels about it and you as her husband should be listening to her and not trying to arrange anymore meets until she instigates it

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"When I told my wife about us joining this site she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating sounds like she wasn’t keen from the outset I notice you’re use of words “I told my wife “"
^^^^ This

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham

That's not a surprise at all. I would assume that's a normal conversation for all new couples to swinging? It was certainly something I was worried about at the start and even now as things evolve I'm very aware that it only takes one wrong move for it to feel that way. It sounds like she's not comfortable with it and all you can do is make sure she knows you don't feel that way and just try and understand how she feels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took me years to become comfortable with having casual sex outside my marriage, I love it now but it did feel like cheating with the first few guys xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Can I cheat on you with your wife please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not going to make assumptions as no one really knows you just keep talking to your wife ..not to the forums nobody knows you two ... plenty will try and judge you but at the end of the day its all down to you two nobody else

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I can relate to this. I didn't feel uncomfortable getting jiggy with other women, yet it didn't feel right for me with other men, defo felt cheaty even though it was what my ex wanted.

It wasn't what I wanted, I was content with him yet felt under a lot of pressure to WANT to fuck other dudes coz he'd have bedded 10 women a day if he had the chance.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"When I told my wife about us joining this site she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating"

It's not strange really, she's bound to have various doubts and emotions stirred up by this.

Did you have a good chat about it and reassure her? Did you give her an opportunity to fully express how she felt?

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By *ot Couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Camborne

She told me to create the profile because she wanted to meet a black guy with a big black cock but we could not find a black guy but the big black cock after several months some white guys took her fancy they have big cock

Anyway like I said after her first time doing it she said to me that she thought it was cheating and she said that after she did it since then she's got more comfortable with it but I was just saying what she told me after the first time and as I said because she did it even though I was here she thought she had cheated

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.

Maybe she didn't think you would go through with it.

It does sound as if you were more keen than her, but like everything the more often it happens the more comfortable she will be. If that's what she really wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me it's not cheating if your partner knows and approves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To me it's not cheating if your partner knows and approves"

Cheating is doing something deceitful behind someones back

I don't know why she felt she was cheating Strange

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

It's heavily programmed into us that having multiple partners is wrong / cheating / etc. Therefore, even when ready to finally try it and do the deed in practice, it's not surprising that there's still some emotional / psychological block or feeling to it.

It's a lot of socially and culturally ingrained baggage to try to undo / re-wire in your mind.

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By *dRocMan
over a year ago

St Helens

The number of women I've met who seem to do it for their husbands rather than themselves is astounding.

I don't like it at all. Couples really need to discuss everything through and even have a safe word when one isn't comfortable

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