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"What age would you approve of your daughter asking if her boyfriend can stay over?" my daughter was 17 and it was a girl | |||
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"As well as age I would consider how long they have been together" yes thats inprtant | |||
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"What age would you approve of your daughter asking if her boyfriend can stay over?" Never! Never! Never! | |||
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"As well as age I would consider how long they have been together" they been together for year and half | |||
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"Depends how long they’ve been together. If they’ve been together a while, then crack on. You’ll never force teenagers to be celibate and I’d rather they were shagging somewhere safe and warm than in the woods. Just keep the volume down." That’s exactly what I thought | |||
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"Depends how long they’ve been together. If they’ve been together a while, then crack on. You’ll never force teenagers to be celibate and I’d rather they were shagging somewhere safe and warm than in the woods. Just keep the volume down." this. Circumstance is far more important than age. If she's got a steady boyfriend (as much as teenagers can) and she seems ready, and not like she's being pressured or used then she can have him stay. She'll only end up fucking in a park somewhere otherwise. For casual sex when she probably needs to be 18 really to handle the scene, but it depends on her maturity and emotional state tbh. I don't have to worry about this for a while! Xx | |||
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"My daughter was 17 when her 23 year old boyfriend stayed over (she's very emotionally mature for her age, and they're a perfect match). He lived a fair distance away at the time, so used to come and stay at weekends. He secured a job locally to us, and relocated about 6 months after they'd started to see each other. He came to stay with us for a month or so while he started his new job and found himself somewhere to live nearby - we wanted to support him while he made the transition. Shes now 23, and he's 30 - they've been married for 2 years, and are blissfully happy together. They've told us numerous times how grateful they are that we supported them, and we all have a very close relationship. I think it really depends on the young woman, and obviously who she wants to invite into her bed, as to whether someone staying over is deemed appropriate by the parents. I remember my feelings being very strong at that age, but my parents weren't supportive or understanding about my life choices. It didn't stop me doing what I wanted to, it just caused distance and resentment towards my parents. Every situation is different, but a young person's opinion and feelings should always be validated and listened to, even if parents decide that what they're asking for isn't appropriate - they should at least be offered a reasoned explanation, out of respect and consideration for them. V x" Well she had a chat to me few weeks ago also I’ve noticed certain toys of mine disappear then go back in my draws. So obviously hormones going crazy so yea better for them to be here than in his car where I’ve no doubt they have already | |||
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"My son and his girlfriend were 17 and stayed over here or at hers. I'd much rather know they're safe than them trying to do things illicitly. They're now 18 and living together at uni (with a third housemate). In my view, the last thing I wanted was them hanging out in dodgy areas, trying to do what teenagers do in outdoor places (our son knew there were condoms in the bathroom cupboard, for example). I personally think trying to deny that you older teen is sexually active or trying to prevent them spending time with a romantic partner is counterproductive and potentially encourages unsafe behaviour." same here | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X" I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites. | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites." What does he ask you | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites. What does he ask you " He's talked to me about challenges in differing sex drive, due to various things. His girlfriend has spoken to me about her contraception. Things like that. He can ask me anything and I'll be honest with him. | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites. What does he ask you He's talked to me about challenges in differing sex drive, due to various things. His girlfriend has spoken to me about her contraception. Things like that. He can ask me anything and I'll be honest with him." What would you say if he asked how to please a woman and could you show him | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites." I totally agree with this - both of my children have always been able to talk to me about anything, especially personal issues, and I've always done my best to adopt a non-judgemental, proactive attitude towards helping them. I'd much rather they felt safe enough to talk to me and get the support and advice they need, rather than look elsewhere and get misleading information, and potentially make disastrous mistakes. When children develop into young adults, it's best to adapt your attitude towards parenting them, so they get the support they need growing up. V x | |||
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"My parents wouldn’t let my boyfriend stay unless it was separate bedrooms I was 19. A few months later I told them I was pregnant ( very much planned and wanted) my dad said the worst thing that could happen already has so may as well sleep together. We have been together 15 years and married 7. Young people will find a way! I will approach it very differently with my children. X I think trying to obstruct young people of legal age is really silly and counterproductive! As you say, they'll find a way. I'd much prefer them to be safe (in all senses) and supported. My son (18) talks to me about personal problems etc, including sex, and I'm thrilled he feels like he can. Much better than getting answers from porn or random websites. What does he ask you He's talked to me about challenges in differing sex drive, due to various things. His girlfriend has spoken to me about her contraception. Things like that. He can ask me anything and I'll be honest with him. What would you say if he asked how to please a woman and could you show him" I wouldn't show him. I'd say he should speak to his girlfriend and see what she likes, maybe suggest a book on the matter, I'd encourage open communication between them basically. No-one can tell someone how to please another because different strokes for different folks. | |||
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"My son and his girlfriend were 17 and stayed over here or at hers. I'd much rather know they're safe than them trying to do things illicitly. They're now 18 and living together at uni (with a third housemate). In my view, the last thing I wanted was them hanging out in dodgy areas, trying to do what teenagers do in outdoor places (our son knew there were condoms in the bathroom cupboard, for example). I personally think trying to deny that you older teen is sexually active or trying to prevent them spending time with a romantic partner is counterproductive and potentially encourages unsafe behaviour." ^ That. Too many people seem to view their children (and their children’s bodies) as being somehow their property, rather than as human beings who should be in control of their own lives when it comes to sex and relationships. The key thing that the parents should really be worried about is if they need PROTECTING in such matters, and I’d argue that you can do that far better in your own house. If they turn up with a fifty-year old bloke they’ve only just met, then I could see that there might be some friction there. | |||
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"BBoth my girls have been told they are not allowed to date let alone anything else till they are 30 " Good luck with that | |||
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"What age would you approve of your daughter asking if her boyfriend can stay over?" Say yes, provided the boyfriend is willing to sign a legally binding contract to fully fund the support of a child for 21 years. That should see him off! | |||
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"Depends how long they’ve been together. If they’ve been together a while, then crack on. You’ll never force teenagers to be celibate and I’d rather they were shagging somewhere safe and warm than in the woods. Just keep the volume down." Lol absolutely, the woods are not safe. That’s where we walk the dog to get away from the kids lol. That’s also why I had a car by the time I was 18. Mr | |||
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"My daughter was 17 when her 23 year old boyfriend stayed over (she's very emotionally mature for her age, and they're a perfect match). He lived a fair distance away at the time, so used to come and stay at weekends. He secured a job locally to us, and relocated about 6 months after they'd started to see each other. He came to stay with us for a month or so while he started his new job and found himself somewhere to live nearby - we wanted to support him while he made the transition. Shes now 23, and he's 30 - they've been married for 2 years, and are blissfully happy together. They've told us numerous times how grateful they are that we supported them, and we all have a very close relationship. I think it really depends on the young woman, and obviously who she wants to invite into her bed, as to whether someone staying over is deemed appropriate by the parents. I remember my feelings being very strong at that age, but my parents weren't supportive or understanding about my life choices. It didn't stop me doing what I wanted to, it just caused distance and resentment towards my parents. Every situation is different, but a young person's opinion and feelings should always be validated and listened to, even if parents decide that what they're asking for isn't appropriate - they should at least be offered a reasoned explanation, out of respect and consideration for them. V x Well she had a chat to me few weeks ago also I’ve noticed certain toys of mine disappear then go back in my draws. So obviously hormones going crazy so yea better for them to be here than in his car where I’ve no doubt they have already " Are you saying your daughter is using your sex toys and returning them? Did I read that right? if so, I find that quite uncomfortable. | |||
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"I think dad's have a harder time than mum's with accepting their little girl has grown up" Its even harder when your a single parent. Ive allowed it at 16-17 as I just knew that they would find a way to do it anyway. As above had to be together for a reasonable time. Yes I had the roll eyes look at the discussion of him sleeping over. Also the protection comment spoken about but ive no choice in the matter. I can sulk be stropy and argue like most men with there daughters and yes threraten there boyfriends But being single you dont have the luxuries you have to learn to give and trust her to do the right thing. | |||
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"My husband died eight years ago. Since then I have never had a romantic partner sleep over. " Is that your personal choice? | |||
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"My husband died eight years ago. Since then I have never had a romantic partner sleep over. Is that your personal choice?" Yes. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my children seeing or hearing me in bed with someone. | |||
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"My husband died eight years ago. Since then I have never had a romantic partner sleep over. Is that your personal choice? Yes. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my children seeing or hearing me in bed with someone. " Which is, of course, entirely your perogative but perhaps a bit of a sideways shift from the OP? Assuming Covid issues weren't a thing, would you consider allowing your older teen or adult children to have romantic partners to stay (assuming they live with you)? | |||
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"As well as age I would consider how long they have been together" | |||
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"What age would you approve of your daughter asking if her boyfriend can stay over?" I would rather know what they are doing as teenagers and have the conversation about safety and consent | |||
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"Yes sorry to hijack the thread. My apologies. Yes I have let my adult children have their long term partners sleep over occasionally. " You didn't hijack the thread. You shared what you wanted to share at the time you wanted to share it. That's absolutely fine by us. We try not to give uninvited advice and certainly not on a forum on a swingers website but we hope you are doing OK. | |||
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"Yes sorry to hijack the thread. My apologies. Yes I have let my adult children have their long term partners sleep over occasionally. You didn't hijack the thread. You shared what you wanted to share at the time you wanted to share it. That's absolutely fine by us. We try not to give uninvited advice and certainly not on a forum on a swingers website but we hope you are doing OK. " Oh shit I hope that doesn't come across as patronising as it sounded when I just read it back. I'm apologising now! | |||
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"Yes sorry to hijack the thread. My apologies. Yes I have let my adult children have their long term partners sleep over occasionally. You didn't hijack the thread. You shared what you wanted to share at the time you wanted to share it. That's absolutely fine by us. We try not to give uninvited advice and certainly not on a forum on a swingers website but we hope you are doing OK. Oh shit I hope that doesn't come across as patronising as it sounded when I just read it back. I'm apologising now!" It did come over as patronising | |||
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"Yes sorry to hijack the thread. My apologies. Yes I have let my adult children have their long term partners sleep over occasionally. You didn't hijack the thread. You shared what you wanted to share at the time you wanted to share it. That's absolutely fine by us. We try not to give uninvited advice and certainly not on a forum on a swingers website but we hope you are doing OK. Oh shit I hope that doesn't come across as patronising as it sounded when I just read it back. I'm apologising now! It did come over as patronising " I think I realised that hence my 2nd post. Thanks for pointing it out though, genuinely grateful for your contribution. | |||
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"Yes sorry to hijack the thread. My apologies. Yes I have let my adult children have their long term partners sleep over occasionally. You didn't hijack the thread. You shared what you wanted to share at the time you wanted to share it. That's absolutely fine by us. We try not to give uninvited advice and certainly not on a forum on a swingers website but we hope you are doing OK. Oh shit I hope that doesn't come across as patronising as it sounded when I just read it back. I'm apologising now! It did come over as patronising I think I realised that hence my 2nd post. Thanks for pointing it out though, genuinely grateful for your contribution. " I only responded to your second post and confirmed it, however the written word is sometimes not that easy to understand. | |||
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"I think dad's have a harder time than mum's with accepting their little girl has grown up" I don't agree at all. Why would 1 parent have a harder time than the other? | |||
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"Yes we have decided to let him stay so looks like tv on and leave them be " It’s better to know they’re safe than them having to sneak around x | |||
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"My daughter was 17 when her 23 year old boyfriend stayed over (she's very emotionally mature for her age, and they're a perfect match). He lived a fair distance away at the time, so used to come and stay at weekends. He secured a job locally to us, and relocated about 6 months after they'd started to see each other. He came to stay with us for a month or so while he started his new job and found himself somewhere to live nearby - we wanted to support him while he made the transition. Shes now 23, and he's 30 - they've been married for 2 years, and are blissfully happy together. They've told us numerous times how grateful they are that we supported them, and we all have a very close relationship. I think it really depends on the young woman, and obviously who she wants to invite into her bed, as to whether someone staying over is deemed appropriate by the parents. I remember my feelings being very strong at that age, but my parents weren't supportive or understanding about my life choices. It didn't stop me doing what I wanted to, it just caused distance and resentment towards my parents. Every situation is different, but a young person's opinion and feelings should always be validated and listened to, even if parents decide that what they're asking for isn't appropriate - they should at least be offered a reasoned explanation, out of respect and consideration for them. V x" Yes you need to treat them with respect and not say no without a discussion. Also just remember that sex in the room next to your parents can be a turn off and not even happen. | |||
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