FabSwingers.com forum: Fb's meeting couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ive been meeting a guy off here regulary for several months now and we both want to continue doing so.

A couple of weeks ago he started contacting couples and asking if they would be interested in meeting us together, however we have been surprised at the responses.

He has been told on numerous occasions that "we only play with couples who actually are couples" or received offensive messages back.

So please could you enlighten me as to whether this is a no no and we shouldn't really be messaging 'actual couples'?

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By *icesweetgirlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them. "

Absolutely! It's their choice to only meet 'real couples'. Personally I think it's very narrow minded for them to think that, but then I don't meet narrow minded people so it would be fine by me.

Keep looking, you'll find couples that are fine with fb couples.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them. "

Thank you for that, I was sort of thinking along those lines myself - its not like we just met for a quickie last week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them. "

But it's their preference not to meet fb couples... Although I agree the abuse isn't needed.

S. X

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"Ive been meeting a guy off here regulary for several months now and we both want to continue doing so.

A couple of weeks ago he started contacting couples and asking if they would be interested in meeting us together, however we have been surprised at the responses.

He has been told on numerous occasions that "we only play with couples who actually are couples" or received offensive messages back.

So please could you enlighten me as to whether this is a no no and we shouldn't really be messaging 'actual couples'?"

well done for been honest about your arrangements,but goes to show once again honesty does not allways pay on fabs,if you ' pretended ' you were a couple who would know but yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I have to disagree, they have every right to say that they aren't interested because of you're relationship status..Whether we like it or not, it's personal choice. Just ignore the negative responses, there will be plenty of people that are interested, concentrate on those instead, and I wish you good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them.

But it's their preference not to meet fb couples... Although I agree the abuse isn't needed.

S. X "

Yes exactly.

So how about clubs on couples only nights - would it be frowned upon for us to attend as Fb's?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but I have to disagree, they have every right to say that they aren't interested because of you're relationship status..Whether we like it or not, it's personal choice. Just ignore the negative responses, there will be plenty of people that are interested, concentrate on those instead, and I wish you good luck

Thank you

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By *h yes ChurchillCouple
over a year ago

manchester

we agree on that. and we also dont mind meeting fb couples either and we perfer honesty all the way

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By *icesweetgirlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Couples will be demanding to see marriage certificates next. I stopped meeting couples after I felt I was only there to do what they wanted. I have found them a bigger problem than guys. And I realise they have every right to meet who they want and play as they want. But there should be give and take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just who decides the etiquette of swinging? Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them.

But it's their preference not to meet fb couples... Although I agree the abuse isn't needed.

S. X

Yes exactly.

So how about clubs on couples only nights - would it be frowned upon for us to attend as Fb's?"

Some couples only want to play with real couples.. that's their choice.

Just be honest! Let them decide - don't tell lies, it can cause issues (you would rather do without) later down the line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see why some people won't meet fb's and not genuine married couples.

Some fb's are very casual with each other and maybe one of them is only teaming up with another to open doors to more meets and couples nights. For example if a fb couple met a single woman and the guy of the fb couple paid more attention to the single woman, maybe the female fb would feel a little left out and this could cause potential problems. Maybe some couples have been on the end of some unpleasant behaviour between casual couples, so have decided to not risk meeting.

When we meet a couple we expect the four of us to play together in a heap and not a straight swap scenario. I do have sex with my OH on all my meets because the naughtiness of meeting and sharing sexual experiences with others always makes me more horny for him.

I don't want a situation whereby a woman would expect all of his attention and I don't want to be expected to give another guy my sole attention.

Now it doesn't bother me about peoples status at all, but I do want to meet another couple who are close to each other as well as with the couple they are playing with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can see why some people won't meet fb's and not genuine married couples.

I don't want a situation whereby a woman would expect all of his attention and I don't want to be expected to give another guy my sole attention.

Now it doesn't bother me about peoples status at all, but I do want to meet another couple who are close to each other as well as with the couple they are playing with

All very valid points you have made there. Its given me some food for thought as we are both straight and have no desire to play 'in a heap'

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

now, not knowing if you and this other guy are singles, meeting for mutual fun, or whether you are both cheating on someone else (or one of you is) and its not my concern either way, but to us, it shows a lack of respect for the relationship you MAY be in, so why would we expect you to respect our relationship?

thats when boundaries get pushed and things happen that people dont want to happen.

sure, im certain that as long as a man and a woman go to a club together, they would get into a couples night. dont see why not (can be bf/gf)

but thatss our take on meeting FB's.

and, its NOT narrow minded, as someone above put it, its called preference for our own comfort and peace of mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can see why some people won't meet fb's and not genuine married couples.

I don't want a situation whereby a woman would expect all of his attention and I don't want to be expected to give another guy my sole attention.

Now it doesn't bother me about peoples status at all, but I do want to meet another couple who are close to each other as well as with the couple they are playing with

All very valid points you have made there. Its given me some food for thought as we are both straight and have no desire to play 'in a heap'

I don't think I stated that I expected the two guys to play together in a bi situation.

What I mean by a 'heap, to be perfectly clear, is maybe one guy on the floor with a woman on his cock and one on his face and the other guy being sucked by one of the ladies, or a lady being licked by a guy whilst the other lady sucks him. Situations like that. Straight play situations whereby all four parties are involved at the same time, not just a pairing off with a different partner.

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

"our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

Why would you expect fbs to disrespect their relationship or yours? Are you insecure or just generalising?

I wonder if some think one of a fb cpl would try to pinch their partner more so than of a 'real' couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We once met a fb couple and things took a turn for the worse after. It seems that he had been playing with others behind her back. She thought she was the only one. And they got us involved by txing asking if we had played with one half since etc all way to much hassle so we now wont meet fb couples. To us one half of the couple wants more than the other half otherwise they would just be a couple. So now we choose not to play with them our choice and we are intitled to that. But rudness is never on

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

"our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

Why would you expect fbs to disrespect their relationship or yours? Are you insecure or just generalising?

I wonder if some think one of a fb cpl would try to pinch their partner more so than of a 'real' couple?"

That has nothing to do with it for us. There's something about sharing in the intimacy of another bona fide couple that you just don't get when you meet fb's. That's not to say we're against meeting a fb couple, it's just different.

We have also had a bad experience with one fb couple.. perversely, you'd think jealousy would be LESS of an issue, but it turns out it isn't. Hasn't put us off meeting couples-that-aren't-couples, but they are lower down out preference.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

Why would you expect fbs to disrespect their relationship or yours? Are you insecure or just generalising?

I wonder if some think one of a fb cpl would try to pinch their partner more so than of a 'real' couple?"

not insecure at all, no.

imo fb's dont have a relationship, they have an arrangement.

as said, its the respect thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't have a problem with it, can't think of any valid reason why we would!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

Why would you expect fbs to disrespect their relationship or yours? Are you insecure or just generalising?

I wonder if some think one of a fb cpl would try to pinch their partner more so than of a 'real' couple?

not insecure at all, no.

imo fb's dont have a relationship, they have an arrangement.

as said, its the respect thing.

I do understand that some fb couples can be disrespectful of others, especially where the bloke is just using the woman to get more meets. But 'real' couples can be like that too. It can possibly be argued that they are both using each other to get meets...!

I totally respect other people so I don't understand how as part of a fb couple I would be considered disrespectful of anyone married or in a 'relationship'.

I would give each individual couple a chance and not just dismiss them on face value. Which is what I meant by some people being narrow minded, tarring all fb couples with the same brush.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

I would give each individual couple a chance and not just dismiss them on face value. Which is what I meant by some people being narrow minded, tarring all fb couples with the same brush. "

and thats a valid point, but unless you meet everyone that is in that situation, go through all the rap that MAY come with it, and find a few that are respectful or whatever, then all you can do is to generalise.

the same with every other preference people have.

there may be a few people that buck the trend you dont like in the people you dont want to see, but are you willing to wade through all those you dont want to to find them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hahaha perhaps we should all have a "licence to swing" to prove we are worthy!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i have seen in clubs where one person wants to be there and is like a kid in a candy shop, and the other has just sat there not talking to anyone...

I have been in clubs where "male" half of FB couple has just seen it as a golden ticket to other couples who wouldn't have met him otherwise.....

there are various reasons... I have seen males halfs of FB couples who suddenly get on their high horse because they have a FB...

there are loads of reasons... I have seen jealously rear its head...I have arguements take place..... i have seen people wander off and not give two hoots about the person they came with....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"i have seen in clubs where one person wants to be there and is like a kid in a candy shop, and the other has just sat there not talking to anyone...

I have been in clubs where "male" half of FB couple has just seen it as a golden ticket to other couples who wouldn't have met him otherwise.....

there are various reasons... I have seen males halfs of FB couples who suddenly get on their high horse because they have a FB...

there are loads of reasons... I have seen jealously rear its head...I have arguements take place..... i have seen people wander off and not give two hoots about the person they came with...."

or becomes so bloody nervous in case his FB is attracted to any other guy and trades him in, he is borderline delirious....

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I stopped meeting couples at all fb or otherwise for mff threesomes ages ago.

The same issues came up with both married / commited couples and with fb couples... One wanting it more than the other and the other only doing it to keep the partner happy... One trying to get me to meet them on their own and keeping it secret from the wife / partner / fb..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet with a FB of mine...if couples don't want to play with us then that's their choice, just as we can choose not to meet certain other couples. I can understand the reasons why people may choose not to meet a fb couple, but has been said jealousy can still occur with couples. We once met a couple, and then met both parties separately (with everyones knowledge and consent) and both members of the couple had a bit of a bitch about their other half! We were both really surprised, and so haven't met them again because we don't want to be mixed up in their drama.

We are both happy playing alone and together and we are both honest about it, which to me is the main aspect of playing together whether you're a couple or not. If people choose to avoid us then fine, not going to take it personally, but also not going to stop playing together because some people assume there is something wrong with how we play...neither of us want/have time for a fully committed relationship but we enjoy each others company and exploring together

So I guess my point is, if you want to play together then do so...just maybe read profiles properly as a lot will state if they don't play with fb's. Don't take it personally when people say no, and if you do get abuse then report it just as you would from a single x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess like any scenario, there are some that have spoilt it for others.

Am sure that there are some good FB profiles that work well and no issues.

Its maybe unfortunate that we have seen what happens when those not in a secure relationship start to get jealous on meets cos the other is having more fun... and have seen that several times on FB couples.

Steve

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"i have seen in clubs where one person wants to be there and is like a kid in a candy shop, and the other has just sat there not talking to anyone...

I have been in clubs where "male" half of FB couple has just seen it as a golden ticket to other couples who wouldn't have met him otherwise....."

have you never seen it the other way?

we went to a party and i (male) just didnt want to be there, yet Em was up for getting involved (and tbh i wouldnt have stopped her, but she didnt feel like she should if i wasnt going to). so its not all males that are like kids in candy shops, when they see naked flesh lol

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We don't meet fb couples. It's nothing to do with being narrow minded, it's just a preference.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"neither of us want/have time for a fully committed relationship but we enjoy each others company and exploring together

how cna you not have time for a committed relationship, when all you would have to do together is what you would generally do in life anyway?

not like you have to do things differently if you are actually 'with' someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some couples won't meet FB's, just their preference, if he is contacting them off his own single guy profile i can see why he would get alot of scepticism from couples because alot of guys use that as a way to get in with couples and then suddenly their "partner" can't make it.

I would suggest, if you haven't already, and contact people through that.

But just keep messaging people and i'm sure you will get some meets, alternatively, head to a club, people ask less questions and feel less like your gonna mess them around because well your already there and together... nothing to fake about that! Good luck x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"not like you have to do things differently if you are actually 'with' someone"

There is a HUGE difference between a fully cmmitted relationship and a couple who just play together. Not sure that 'not having time' was the best reason to give but it's no-ones business but theirs really.

I have a couple of male friends who I play with at clubs and parties. I have no intention of having a relationship and I suspect they wouldn't want one either.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"not like you have to do things differently if you are actually 'with' someone

I have a couple of male friends who I play with at clubs and parties. I have no intention of having a relationship and I suspect they wouldn't want one either."

having no intention or interest is completely different to not having time to, and thats the point i was picking up on.

if you just simply dont want to, thats fine, its a choice, but to not have time?

really?

dont understand it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"neither of us want/have time for a fully committed relationship but we enjoy each others company and exploring together

how cna you not have time for a committed relationship, when all you would have to do together is what you would generally do in life anyway?

not like you have to do things differently if you are actually 'with' someone"

Notice how you picked that and ignored the not wanting part directly in front of it! And yes things would be different if we were a couple...you do need to make time to spend together socially as well as sexually, and let each other into so much more of each others lives which we don't want. If your committed relationship involves the same minimal time we spend together then we obviously _iew relationships differently...not saying that is a bad thing, just that we have a difference of opinion on what a relationship must be. For me a relationship would take a lot more time and effort than we currently put into how we choose to spend playing together

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

see, thats the thing, i DIDNT ignore the not wanting to, i understand the not wanting to, hence why it wasnt questioned lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see, thats the thing, i DIDNT ignore the not wanting to, i understand the not wanting to, hence why it wasnt questioned lol."

Ok, well we don't want to put the time and effort into having a 'proper' relationship then! Same thing really, just worded slightly differently x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A week or so ago, I posted a thread on sort of the same subject (Sanctimonious Couples).

True, everyone has the right to set their own preferences and if a married/'together' couple do not want to meet couples who are not, then that is exactly that - their preference.

Where I find it distasteful is where there is a clear attempt to 'put down' anyone - any couple - because they see their own situation as, in some way, 'perfect' or 'correct', and someone elses as being inferior or less than worthy.

We got rebuffed by a couple recently (which prompted our thread), simply because Perky and I don't live together (there are perfectly good reasons for this, which were explained) and it was clear in their final message to us that they considered us to be 'not a genuine couple'.

At the end of the day, all you can do is introduce yourself to a couple and, if you don't meet their preferences, fair enough. But there is certainly no excuse for anyone disrespecting you with a 'holier than thou' attitude.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"A week or so ago, I posted a thread on sort of the same subject (Sanctimonious Couples).

True, everyone has the right to set their own preferences and if a married/'together' couple do not want to meet couples who are not, then that is exactly that - their preference.

we dont live together either, but are totally committed and 'into' each other, so i can see where you are coming from.

ateotd the modern world isnt the nuclear family anymore.

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

"A week or so ago, I posted a thread on sort of the same subject (Sanctimonious Couples).

True, everyone has the right to set their own preferences and if a married/'together' couple do not want to meet couples who are not, then that is exactly that - their preference.

I agree with you PorkPerky and remember your thread. The fact is, that if marriage was so perfect, no one would ever get divorced. There are many couples, some of whom swing, that are married, but have less of a "relationship" than a FB does or a "couple" whether or not they live together, and ofcourse they're are plenty of married people whom swing whom have a fabulous relationship.

It appears the OP was condemned for being honest which seems to me to be crazy. And there's certainly no need for anyone to say anything other than no, if the person asking for the meet is unacceptable for whatever the reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see it from both points. As a single girl I've noticed if I have met a single guy I've then been pester to "get" them someone else to join us. Which then makes me feel pressured and then used. So a fb couple even tho this might not always be the case can be the result of pressure from male part. And as a couple point u have not met these people before and find out they are not committed to each other u tend to think someone is being led on between them. When ur in a proper loving relationship u set boundaries between each other and respect them. Fb couples can make the genuine couple think they dont have the same respect. As ur just trying to please each other so u meat again if u know what I mean.

Have I made my point? Lol

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I can see it from both points. As a single girl I've noticed if I have met a single guy I've then been pester to "get" them someone else to join us. Which then makes me feel pressured and then used. So a fb couple even tho this might not always be the case can be the result of pressure from male part. And as a couple point u have not met these people before and find out they are not committed to each other u tend to think someone is being led on between them. When ur in a proper loving relationship u set boundaries between each other and respect them. Fb couples can make the genuine couple think they dont have the same respect. As ur just trying to please each other so u meat again if u know what I mean.

Have I made my point? Lol"

yes, think thats what i was trying to say. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"our personal CHOICE is also not to meet FB couples.

the reason is becuase meeting another 'genuine' couple, they respect their relationship as much as we do ours.

thats when boundaries get pushed and things happen that people dont want to happen."

I'm with you on this one. We feel the same about fb. We like the closeness if a real couple when we play and we also only meet bi fem couples cos we too like a big pile on the bed kinda thing going on. We did play with a couple in a club last week though who we only found out next day were not a couple (we were already all in a big bed) and I'm not sure we would say no to a meet again but I do have reservations. I would definitely not lie to anyone regarding your relationship. U wouldnt want that happening to yourself. I'm also sure clubs except fb as a couple.

Good luck hon.

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Those couples have no right to say your relationship with your fb is not good enough for them. "

They have every right to say that!!! It's their relationship they're bringing someone else into, so their choice.

I would feel uncomfortable meeting with a couple who are not established, both as a single and a couple. That's my choice though and everyone is different.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

see, i could watch for ages, and have done, Em sucking on another mans cock, and enjoy it, getting really turned on in the process, while stroking her pussy.

would an FB couple do this, or would the male part of the 'couple' be busy sorting himself out?

thats where we define the difference.

with another couple they generally wont be far away from each other, stroking and touching each other while playing with someone else.

you just dont get the same closeness with couples that are not 'together'

oh, btw, we have met together couples that have had no interest in each other too, so you cant guarantee to get that closeness, but you have more chance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Crikey its complicated isn't it?

I think we have a lot to discuss before we contact any more couples. I hadn't really thought a great deal about it but I can now see it from a couples point of _iew, whereas before I was merely thinking about what it was that we wanted out of it.

Thank you for all your input. I love the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember years ago when i was married talking to a couple and she asked if we was married, i said yes and she replied, good because we dont meet fuck buddies, we are risking a lot doing this and if it destroys our marrage i want tro make sure it does yours too

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"I remember years ago when i was married talking to a couple and she asked if we was married, i said yes and she replied, good because we dont meet fuck buddies, we are risking a lot doing this and if it destroys our marrage i want tro make sure it does yours too

i do hope you both walked away from the meet.

thats madness lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you gave her a short answer, one of the words being 'off'...??

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Wow, I thought life as a single male was complicated!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally who gives a fuck, why enjoy life and be happy.

As one poster put it be like a dog with your problem if you can't fuck it or eat it, shit on it and walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I stopped meeting couples at all fb or otherwise for mff threesomes ages ago.

same problem here.... it was the husband of a married couple that started harassing me then stalking me because he wanted more from me as a single lady swinger.

I've played as a single, fb's, girlfriend boyfriend and now as married couple.

We have no problem at all playing with fb's infact we still play with my ex fb.

The only rules that we have are the only number any one is given to contact us is my husbands and we never play alone.

Mrs sports xxx

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Fb's meeting couples - etiquette