FabSwingers.com forum: Trust issues

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you have trust issues have they gotten better or worse since joining the swinging lifestyle? Do you realise everyone has a bit of a ‘dodgy side’ and accept them for who they are? Do you look at everyone with a suspicious eye now?

I’d say ive gotten worse

i’ll wonder if the photos on profiles are real, is the chap i played with that one time in a swingers club really single, out of a couple is the desire to have a threesome mutual, is that person a picture collector etc

I suppose some will say it doesnt matter as ppl are just meeting for sex/swinging/fantasy fulfilment not marriage or relationships but to some it does matter you have to have some level of trust to get involved....

What say you fabulous folk of fab?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've never had trust issues as such but I am very shall we say, "realistic" about how people present themselves on the net. I accept that I can't possibly check every detail of what someone tells me and can bear no responsibility if they've lied after a certain point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got worse due to people not turning up I never trust what people say in messages most of it's a load of shite to get laid

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"I've never had trust issues as such but I am very shall we say, "realistic" about how people present themselves on the net. I accept that I can't possibly check every detail of what someone tells me and can bear no responsibility if they've lied after a certain point.

This is pretty much like me. I take peoples word as a pinch of salt unless there are real alarm bells ringing. I definitely don’t over think it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally in terms of my relationship with my husband it's stronger and there is less jealousy/trust issues.

I think the number of "single" men on here who have wives/partners etc is on the things I struggle with most about this lifestyle.

I try to have the attitude of "live and let live" but when the men are sharing pics of their wives without their knowledge, or are saying things like "if you can't cut me some slack and have a sense of humour" i find it quite upsetting. I know people stay in relationships for all sorts of reasons but I always think you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest and if you're not happy, end things amicably.

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By *heekyredsoloWoman
over a year ago

bromborough

[Removed by poster at 07/03/21 18:40:41]

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By *owhambamMan
over a year ago

clacton

As a single male, hoping to put myself across as genuine, I can only state what I believe to be true. What others read could be what they have had said before, yet later found to be false. So a bit of trust issues will understandably enter their heads when they read the same thing over and over.

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

I tend to take as I find. I've not been let down by gut instinct yet. Yet!

However I am very often suspicious of things that don't quite add up. Experience has taught me what to be suspect of. Again gut instinct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have trust issues unless they give me something to not trust them over!

Fab has made me more aware of people who are two faced and love to cause drama though, it’s instilled a first impressions count idea in me and I’m hardly wrong if I’m honest.

I just wish people would be more honest to themselves and then maybe they’d get further on here than they already are x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I hold everyone at arms length until, I want to let them in. Ultimately as we know the web of deceit can be intricately woven and people we have trusted for years can be found out to be deceitful, its always a gamble some with stakes higher than others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have trust issues but I take 80% of what men tell me on here as bullshit.

I only believe the stuff that’s proved real over the time we are talking.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I was exposed to this a few years back, and it rings true for most decisions people make (not just criminal ones).

If what you stand to gain is greater than what you stand to loose, then most people will take that path, be it lie, cheat, deceive or something positive.

I am also a very risk averse person, and so while people may accuse me of over thinking, I see it more about weighing up the threats and opportunities associated with the people and activities we come into contact with.

Does Mb + Pb (Ocm + Ocp) x (Pa x Pc)

Mb + Pb – what do I stand to gain from committing the crime… monetary or psychological benefits?

Ocm + Ocp – what do I stand to lose if I get caught? My freedom, and how much time do I have to invest?

Pa Pc – what are the chances that I will get caught and convicted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had turst issues prior to joining Fab courtesy of a lying ex... Now, having dealt people disappearing, pic collectors and seeing the amount of cheats on here it's not really helped those trust issues.

I trust no one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My trust has gone down significantly. I have also become far more attuned to mental health. It feels like I’m dealing with a lot more vulnerable and unwell men who don’t truly own their shit.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

Mostly I trust people. A lot of people who aren't telling the truth on here show little signs of it without knowing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had turst issues prior to joining Fab courtesy of a lying ex... Now, having dealt people disappearing, pic collectors and seeing the amount of cheats on here it's not really helped those trust issues.

I trust no one. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust no one. "

Girl, same.

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

No because in a relationship I agree the rules of engagement talk until the baggage is out in the open and delt with and everything is transparent.

A primary relationship is exactly that monogamous or non monogamous.

NSA is NSA simple and with clear boundaries.

FWB can evolve from a relationship or NSA.

Friends are friends clear and platonic

Sometimes there is movement from one relationship state to another and this requires dialogue and negotiation before settling to a changed state.

Cut the rubbish and procrastination out deal with it as it comes up day to day so everyone is clear.

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By *konCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

Worse . Sometimes we seriously question the wisdom of being on here

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

I should have added once a ship has sailed its gone and should not be given a second thought until and if it comes back across the horizon. Never chase one that has sailed away.

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If you have trust issues have they gotten better or worse since joining the swinging lifestyle?

Oh worse, I don't think I'll trust a guy ever again

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Trust isn’t an issue, for general play, we only meet at clubs.

For D/s play, I (the male) there is an awful amount of discussion.

Both have had 100% positive fun.

Personally, think mistrust creates mistrust, the word is incongruous people.

Hey, just me.

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By *elshcouple4000Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I actually love the thought of not being able to trust the missus lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I have trust issues but, doesn't stop me doing anything.

I just measure what is said and judge what is bullshit. Usually pretty good at filtering out.

After that, I kind of accept what they say is mostly true. If I spent me time wondering is this or that a lie, I wouldn't talk to anyone!

If I find out they have lied, then fuck them off in a heartbeat! No hand wringing, guilt or feeling betrayed.

People lie so much about everything! People are arseholes. Just part of finding decent people to spend time with. Sexualy or otherwise. You have to wade through the shit.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I am not less or more trusting than when I started on here.

Like a previous poster says I go by gut instinct.If you Ee beginning to see holes in people's stories then you know theirs lies. If I see pics that I think are not the person's and I reverse image them and they are some model from somewhere across the world I stop chatting .

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By *indfeedfuckCouple
over a year ago

Harlow

We met on Fab and so this has always been part of our lives together. We seem to be quite good at sniffing out fakes and don’t usually meet newbies to avoid the possibility of drama. We’ve had a couple of no shows but basically been very lucky ourselves with all the lovely people we’ve met.

But boy have we heard some horror stories!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that I don't trust Internet strangers isn't an issue

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

I dont have trust issues but I dont believe it will happen until it has.

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By *ursecretmissionsCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Trying to filter the "real" and genuine profiles seems to be a thing on here, but verifications tend to help us. Time wasters are most annoying!!

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We have no worries about trust issues as been married over 30 years ,but when it comes to swinging we are really careful now as we bumped into a few wrongens in our early days ,at club we do our best to either meet married couples like ourself , or watch single guys very carefully.we have slipped up a few times but that can’t be helped if we want to go solo which is not very often we do the same ,wife’s fuck buddy always checks with me before hand unless she jumps on him but then always let’s me know straight after or during.I always ask wife first before I make any plans .cheating on a partner is not not nice as wife’s previous did it to her many a time .and we stay clear of the couples at club who brag about cheating on their other half’s ,swinging supposed to be enjoyable experience either playing together or having fun while telling your partner how your experience went ,

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By *ubicon MangoMan
over a year ago

willenhall

I never have trust issues, but bad meets or fake profiles or people cheating piss me off, i can spot a mile away the timewasters now, new meets are great i tend to stick to reguler meets i have. That way we all know what we want. Cant wait for lockdown to finish!

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