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Fab straight (again)

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

I always see these threads and laugh at some of the comments. Straight men who have been found out to have experienced or wanted to experience a blow job/wank etc with another man are always berated on here. The old ‘fab straight’ comment comes out and with it, the expectation that they should change their profile.

What makes me laugh is that most people on here talk a lot about how they feel accepted on this site, which is great, and also most people on here believe in the fluidity of sexual orientation and that it is on a scale like autism. So why can’t a man be nearly straight if he likes a rare and occasional blow job? And why can’t a man label himself as straight when we are perfectly willing to accept that everyone else is entitled to label, or not label, themselves? If a gender fluid person said “I don’t like labels” on their profile, we accept it and might describe them as ‘they’. If a man who dresses as a woman says she’s a TV, we accept it and call her ‘her’. So let’s start accepting straight men for how they identify themselves too.

I suspect that the reason people on here are so emotive about this subject is because they’re worried that they’ll turn up to a meet and be offered a blow job, or because they’re concerned about the safety of the mans sexual history. But let’s face it people, this is a sex site. So firstly, no matter who you meet, always expect the unexpected and decide ahead of time how you might respond to it. Besides, that’s what pre-drinks and ‘off limits’ lists are for. Secondly, everyone’s sexual history is questionable on here, so use protection! It may also be that the people who worry about this are concerned that they are being conned or lied to in some way and to those people I would say this, most people on here, including you, yes you, have sex with complete strangers and keep it a secret from their family, friends and colleagues for fear of judgement. You might even lie to your parents/friends about where you’re going when they babysit your kids. Point implicitly made I believe!

There is so much research out there about straight men who perform sexual acts with men, so don’t take my word for it, look it up and educate yourself. But also remember that sex is a function, not an emotion. If a man wants to call himself straight because he is not attracted to men, only dates women, but is turned on by the occasional blow job when he’s horny, then that’s no different to a straight man who’s never been interested in another man, but who likes his wife’s finger up his arse. It’s simply functional and enjoyable.

Let’s stop labelling and judging others. Lockdown is nearly over and the hedonism is about to begin, so chill the heck out and enjoy it

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

I think people need to be more honest.... starting with themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why aren’t women labelled the same? If a woman does something it’s just normal. But if a man experiments it’s looked down on.

Probably because some women feel threatened by the idea that a man could be getting pleasure in a way that they can’t provide? That’s my guess.

The idea about sexual health makes no sense in the context of this website, because pretty much everyone on here is meeting multiple people for sex and therefore are all equal risk.

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"I think people need to be more honest.... starting with themselves."

I completely agree. I take people at face value and accept what they tell me. I also like to make my own mind up about who people are based on experience. However, this is about sex with strangers, not long term relationships. Besides, most people need to go through a process in time to decide their identity so maybe give them the benefit of the doubt.

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By *ceehiMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

never ask your lady to do something you wouldn't do yourself xx

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"Why aren’t women labelled the same? If a woman does something it’s just normal. But if a man experiments it’s looked down on.

I agree that the attitude in our culture needs to change.

Probably because some women feel threatened by the idea that a man could be getting pleasure in a way that they can’t provide? That’s my guess.

The idea about sexual health makes no sense in the context of this website, because pretty much everyone on here is meeting multiple people for sex and therefore are all equal risk."

Yep, exactly this. Everyone is a risk.

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"never ask your lady to do something you wouldn't do yourself xx"

Indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think people need to be more honest.... starting with themselves."

I think that's down to them

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

I think labels on here just help people sift through profiles to decide who to contact. I'm straight, so a couple with a bi female who say they are looking for bi play can ignore me for instance. As others have said, honesty is the key.

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By *xploring GentlyMan
over a year ago

bath


"I always see these threads and laugh at some of the comments. Straight men who have been found out to have experienced or wanted to experience a blow job/wank etc with another man are always berated on here. The old ‘fab straight’ comment comes out and with it, the expectation that they should change their profile.

What makes me laugh is that most people on here talk a lot about how they feel accepted on this site, which is great, and also most people on here believe in the fluidity of sexual orientation and that it is on a scale like autism. So why can’t a man be nearly straight if he likes a rare and occasional blow job? And why can’t a man label himself as straight when we are perfectly willing to accept that everyone else is entitled to label, or not label, themselves? If a gender fluid person said “I don’t like labels” on their profile, we accept it and might describe them as ‘they’. If a man who dresses as a woman says she’s a TV, we accept it and call her ‘her’. So let’s start accepting straight men for how they identify themselves too.

I suspect that the reason people on here are so emotive about this subject is because they’re worried that they’ll turn up to a meet and be offered a blow job, or because they’re concerned about the safety of the mans sexual history. But let’s face it people, this is a sex site. So firstly, no matter who you meet, always expect the unexpected and decide ahead of time how you might respond to it. Besides, that’s what pre-drinks and ‘off limits’ lists are for. Secondly, everyone’s sexual history is questionable on here, so use protection! It may also be that the people who worry about this are concerned that they are being conned or lied to in some way and to those people I would say this, most people on here, including you, yes you, have sex with complete strangers and keep it a secret from their family, friends and colleagues for fear of judgement. You might even lie to your parents/friends about where you’re going when they babysit your kids. Point implicitly made I believe!

There is so much research out there about straight men who perform sexual acts with men, so don’t take my word for it, look it up and educate yourself. But also remember that sex is a function, not an emotion. If a man wants to call himself straight because he is not attracted to men, only dates women, but is turned on by the occasional blow job when he’s horny, then that’s no different to a straight man who’s never been interested in another man, but who likes his wife’s finger up his arse. It’s simply functional and enjoyable.

Let’s stop labelling and judging others. Lockdown is nearly over and the hedonism is about to begin, so chill the heck out and enjoy it "
A wonderful post apart from the wifes finger up your arse part. Liking your prostrate played with doesn't make you gay. Well not in my opinion. It is a gateway drug though ha ha.

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By *konCouple
over a year ago

cardiff


"I think people need to be more honest.... starting with themselves."

Ah men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never suggest that someone defines themselves for anyone other than themselves. If a straight guy wants to suck cock and call himself straight, that’s cool, the same a bi and gay. I identify as Bi and tell people so, mainly so I open up the opportunity to meet men as well as women, the reality is though, that this is largely about satisfying sexual needs, and as such, consent is far more important than how someone identifies.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

We will always live ina society of labels .

Can I mention that the OP talks of straight men having dabbled .. let's just turn that round and say women in their dabbling, curiosity,

I saw a comment that said some women might feel threatened.. again turn that round, us women who enjoy another ladies touch will say it feels different to a guys feel. So perhaps it's just same .

I for one love giving and receiving girl on girl . But equally get greedy with men .

As for hygiene. I like to think most of us have some level of dignity to want to keep themselves free of medical issue's. That said, I don't just do random bareback or rub against other women.

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"We will always live ina society of labels .

Can I mention that the OP talks of straight men having dabbled .. let's just turn that round and say women in their dabbling, curiosity,

I saw a comment that said some women might feel threatened.. again turn that round, us women who enjoy another ladies touch will say it feels different to a guys feel. So perhaps it's just same .

Totally agree with everything you say. I label myself as bi (which societal definitions say I am) for the convenience of other people looking at my profile, but I’m not a fan of labels. As a ‘bi’ woman I have definitely had women tell me they’re bi in the Pat, only to discover that their man wants to watch and they are not into it, but I don’t worry about it, I just move forward.

I for one love giving and receiving girl on girl . But equally get greedy with men .

As for hygiene. I like to think most of us have some level of dignity to want to keep themselves free of medical issue's. That said, I don't just do random bareback or rub against other women.

"

I don’t disagree with anything you say. I label myself on here as bi for the convenience of others looking at my profile, but I don’t feel the need to label by societal definition, I just do so out of convenience. That said, I’ve had many a woman tell me they are bi in the past and when it came to the crunch, their man wanted to watch and the women weren’t into it. But I just take that as part of the learning experience for everyone involved rather than spending my time getting annoyed by it.

Hygiene is simple. As you say, don’t do bareback and stay dignified.

I do recognise that the good old fab straight phrase applies to women as well as men, but my post was in response to a comment on another post because I find it bizarre that men are the subject of so much vilification over it. No-one wants to be lied to, but any meet is with strangers, so how much could anyone expect to know. Plus, we also have to accept other people’s version of their own truth.

Maybe the site needs a ‘nearly straight’ orientation option to help people who struggle with this, or maybe eradicate the orientation tab and provide a scale of percentages instead

I for one am past being provided with singular view knowledge and information about who people say they are and prefer to meet and read people for myself. If someone is an idiot then that clearly tells me whether or not I’m interested in having sex with them.

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By *herrychapstick OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"I would never suggest that someone defines themselves for anyone other than themselves. If a straight guy wants to suck cock and call himself straight, that’s cool, the same a bi and gay. I identify as Bi and tell people so, mainly so I open up the opportunity to meet men as well as women, the reality is though, that this is largely about satisfying sexual needs, and as such, consent is far more important than how someone identifies. "

Absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always see these threads and laugh at some of the comments. Straight men who have been found out to have experienced or wanted to experience a blow job/wank etc with another man are always berated on here. The old ‘fab straight’ comment comes out and with it, the expectation that they should change their profile.

What makes me laugh is that most people on here talk a lot about how they feel accepted on this site, which is great, and also most people on here believe in the fluidity of sexual orientation and that it is on a scale like autism. So why can’t a man be nearly straight if he likes a rare and occasional blow job? And why can’t a man label himself as straight when we are perfectly willing to accept that everyone else is entitled to label, or not label, themselves? If a gender fluid person said “I don’t like labels” on their profile, we accept it and might describe them as ‘they’. If a man who dresses as a woman says she’s a TV, we accept it and call her ‘her’. So let’s start accepting straight men for how they identify themselves too.

I suspect that the reason people on here are so emotive about this subject is because they’re worried that they’ll turn up to a meet and be offered a blow job, or because they’re concerned about the safety of the mans sexual history. But let’s face it people, this is a sex site. So firstly, no matter who you meet, always expect the unexpected and decide ahead of time how you might respond to it. Besides, that’s what pre-drinks and ‘off limits’ lists are for. Secondly, everyone’s sexual history is questionable on here, so use protection! It may also be that the people who worry about this are concerned that they are being conned or lied to in some way and to those people I would say this, most people on here, including you, yes you, have sex with complete strangers and keep it a secret from their family, friends and colleagues for fear of judgement. You might even lie to your parents/friends about where you’re going when they babysit your kids. Point implicitly made I believe!

There is so much research out there about straight men who perform sexual acts with men, so don’t take my word for it, look it up and educate yourself. But also remember that sex is a function, not an emotion. If a man wants to call himself straight because he is not attracted to men, only dates women, but is turned on by the occasional blow job when he’s horny, then that’s no different to a straight man who’s never been interested in another man, but who likes his wife’s finger up his arse. It’s simply functional and enjoyable.

Let’s stop labelling and judging others. Lockdown is nearly over and the hedonism is about to begin, so chill the heck out and enjoy it "

Totally agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

"

This. And the same for women.

It's not about intolerance, it's just that words have to mean something, otherwise what's the point in having them.

Definitions of words don't sinoly change because a man, or woman doesn't want to face their own bisexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

This. And the same for women.

It's not about intolerance, it's just that words have to mean something, otherwise what's the point in having them.

Definitions of words don't sinoly change because a man, or woman doesn't want to face their own bisexuality. "

*simply, you know what I meant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

This. And the same for women.

It's not about intolerance, it's just that words have to mean something, otherwise what's the point in having them.

Definitions of words don't sinoly change because a man, or woman doesn't want to face their own bisexuality. "

Totally agree it goes for a women too.

Be what ever you want to be. Just don’t lie to yourself about it.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near


"We will always live ina society of labels .

Can I mention that the OP talks of straight men having dabbled .. let's just turn that round and say women in their dabbling, curiosity,

I saw a comment that said some women might feel threatened.. again turn that round, us women who enjoy another ladies touch will say it feels different to a guys feel. So perhaps it's just same .

Totally agree with everything you say. I label myself as bi (which societal definitions say I am) for the convenience of other people looking at my profile, but I’m not a fan of labels. As a ‘bi’ woman I have definitely had women tell me they’re bi in the Pat, only to discover that their man wants to watch and they are not into it, but I don’t worry about it, I just move forward.

I for one love giving and receiving girl on girl . But equally get greedy with men .

As for hygiene. I like to think most of us have some level of dignity to want to keep themselves free of medical issue's. That said, I don't just do random bareback or rub against other women.

I don’t disagree with anything you say. I label myself on here as bi for the convenience of others looking at my profile, but I don’t feel the need to label by societal definition, I just do so out of convenience. That said, I’ve had many a woman tell me they are bi in the past and when it came to the crunch, their man wanted to watch and the women weren’t into it. But I just take that as part of the learning experience for everyone involved rather than spending my time getting annoyed by it.

Hygiene is simple. As you say, don’t do bareback and stay dignified.

I do recognise that the good old fab straight phrase applies to women as well as men, but my post was in response to a comment on another post because I find it bizarre that men are the subject of so much vilification over it. No-one wants to be lied to, but any meet is with strangers, so how much could anyone expect to know. Plus, we also have to accept other people’s version of their own truth.

Maybe the site needs a ‘nearly straight’ orientation option to help people who struggle with this, or maybe eradicate the orientation tab and provide a scale of percentages instead

I for one am past being provided with singular view knowledge and information about who people say they are and prefer to meet and read people for myself. If someone is an idiot then that clearly tells me whether or not I’m interested in having sex with them. "

Totally agree with what you're saying. I'm laughing to myself just now as we all now that these "straight, or nearly straight labels can fall off once alcohol os involved which leads me to believe that we are all bi one way or another

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By *RayMan
over a year ago

essex


"I always see these threads and laugh at some of the comments. Straight men who have been found out to have experienced or wanted to experience a blow job/wank etc with another man are always berated on here. The old ‘fab straight’ comment comes out and with it, the expectation that they should change their profile.

What makes me laugh is that most people on here talk a lot about how they feel accepted on this site, which is great, and also most people on here believe in the fluidity of sexual orientation and that it is on a scale like autism. So why can’t a man be nearly straight if he likes a rare and occasional blow job? And why can’t a man label himself as straight when we are perfectly willing to accept that everyone else is entitled to label, or not label, themselves? If a gender fluid person said “I don’t like labels” on their profile, we accept it and might describe them as ‘they’. If a man who dresses as a woman says she’s a TV, we accept it and call her ‘her’. So let’s start accepting straight men for how they identify themselves too.

I suspect that the reason people on here are so emotive about this subject is because they’re worried that they’ll turn up to a meet and be offered a blow job, or because they’re concerned about the safety of the mans sexual history. But let’s face it people, this is a sex site. So firstly, no matter who you meet, always expect the unexpected and decide ahead of time how you might respond to it. Besides, that’s what pre-drinks and ‘off limits’ lists are for. Secondly, everyone’s sexual history is questionable on here, so use protection! It may also be that the people who worry about this are concerned that they are being conned or lied to in some way and to those people I would say this, most people on here, including you, yes you, have sex with complete strangers and keep it a secret from their family, friends and colleagues for fear of judgement. You might even lie to your parents/friends about where you’re going when they babysit your kids. Point implicitly made I believe!

There is so much research out there about straight men who perform sexual acts with men, so don’t take my word for it, look it up and educate yourself. But also remember that sex is a function, not an emotion. If a man wants to call himself straight because he is not attracted to men, only dates women, but is turned on by the occasional blow job when he’s horny, then that’s no different to a straight man who’s never been interested in another man, but who likes his wife’s finger up his arse. It’s simply functional and enjoyable.

Let’s stop labelling and judging others. Lockdown is nearly over and the hedonism is about to begin, so chill the heck out and enjoy it "

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Missed this thread, some really nice thoughts on it.

I asked the other day elsewhere what count as bi and what didn't, and when it comes to the comments here that women should be "honest" too, many people think that women kissing other women and playing with other boobs didn't actually count as bi, so saying they were was *dishonest*... Of course any tangible male equivalent would be seen to be definitely bi, so there's a huge imbalance there, and it doesn't even seem to inherently come from a negative place...

Apparently women playing above the waist is just straight and normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

"

You're just clueless. Talking from the point of view from which you can't relate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you close your eyes, it makes no difference if it's a man or a woman sucking your cock as long as they have skill.

If you close you eyes, it makes no difference if it's a woman or a man tickling your pussy as long as they have skill.

If you open your eyes, it's all good. As long as they have skill.

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By *uzboxCouple
over a year ago

Northwich

Wow can't wait for the next book

I always thought these "tick boxes" on your profile were just a simple way to indicate to others as to what you are into and not human anthropology, (how nieve am I!).

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I read your post with interest as I did the one on why tv/ts is a thing and both seen to be about as you say fluidity and rejecting a label.

I agree that people should be able to call themselves whatever they choose as long as when asked a straight up question they are honest.

I say bi curious on mine but have not to date had any experiences with women but because i accept this is likely to happen at some point in my future I am happy with this label. Maybe if I was a man though I wouldn't.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

"

.....and with others. For those who say labels don't matter how would you respond to that expensive tin of caviar turning out to be catfood?

There is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, straight or TV, but there is also nothing wrong with people having a choice of whether to have sex with you or not. Dishonesty or self delusion takes that choice away from them.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

You're just clueless. Talking from the point of view from which you can't relate"

Being attracted in some way or another to the same sex wouldn't be heterosexual but being honest about oneself is very important acceptance

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Without fear to feel ashamed or embarrassed we have came along way to accept as a country a globe and I feel happy in fact overjoyed it's happened not to be judged

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

You're just clueless. Talking from the point of view from which you can't relate"

Whilst I don't have a huge amount of views deep into the subject, I feel it reasonable to take a line from Dan Savage, who obviously DOES have many many views, and a ton of experience.

He said in without any doubt, it for enjoy the physical side of men, you're bi. The emotional / romantic side is just one part, and any investment in ANY aspect is part of bisexuality.

Therefore I'm happy to be called bi, and believe it is correct, even if it's only an occasional physical fun thing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many dictionaries define bisexual homosexual as having a romantic/ sexual attraction to the same sex. Because someone might engage in such activity doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the case for them. I have ejaculated with the aid of a blanket before now, wet dream, I know I’m in no way attracted to blankets. All labels are false and just idea’s, concepts and notions so if you think your a man a woman or other, then your not being honest with your true self. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many dictionaries define bisexual homosexual as having a romantic/ sexual attraction to the same sex. Because someone might engage in such activity doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the case for them. I have ejaculated with the aid of a blanket before now, wet dream, I know I’m in no way attracted to blankets. All labels are false and just idea’s, concepts and notions so if you think your a man a woman or other, then your not being honest with your true self. X "

Pretty sure I’m a women... not sure how anyone can come along and say you’re not being true with yourself for giving myself the label of a women as that’s what I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many dictionaries define bisexual homosexual as having a romantic/ sexual attraction to the same sex. Because someone might engage in such activity doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the case for them. I have ejaculated with the aid of a blanket before now, wet dream, I know I’m in no way attracted to blankets. All labels are false and just idea’s, concepts and notions so if you think your a man a woman or other, then your not being honest with your true self. X "

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"So many dictionaries define bisexual homosexual as having a romantic/ sexual attraction to the same sex. Because someone might engage in such activity doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the case for them. I have ejaculated with the aid of a blanket before now, wet dream, I know I’m in no way attracted to blankets. All labels are false and just idea’s, concepts and notions so if you think your a man a woman or other, then your not being honest with your true self. X

Pretty sure I’m a women... not sure how anyone can come along and say you’re not being true with yourself for giving myself the label of a women as that’s what I am "

I'm meant to support the far left but so many there are redefining that a woman is to such an extent that its becoming utterly useless... So less of that would be good, and hurrah for a woman being... Something!

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By *inksplusoneortwoCouple
over a year ago

leeds


"Being straight is a clear sexual definition.

If a man wants to play with another man then they simply are not straight.

They should just be honest with themselves.

"

This all day...the amount of shit they come out with to justify their closetry(is that a word)& to make themselves feel better about it is hilarious....wtf do they think the word 'straight' actually means & why do they think words have actual meanings...

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