FabSwingers.com forum: Sex whoopsies

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His mum came home

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By *ecks74Woman
over a year ago

wrexham

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Funniest thing ever heard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Funniest thing ever heard "

Not if you were me

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By *utchyjackMan
over a year ago

Newquay

That's the funniest I've ever heard lol

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Funniest thing ever heard

Not if you were me "

I'm really sorry but I'm crying with laughter

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By *ave1976XXXMan
over a year ago

newmarket

Being caught wanking by the ex gf watching gay porn

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By *arewithmeMan
over a year ago

Craven Arms

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

What makes you think it was an accident ????

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified

She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London

It hets better

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By *wmbranmikeMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

Omg I'm crying Haha can you imagine how awkward that would be.i need to hear what was said straight after lol

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

That is really funny! Grim but funny!

Lou x

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Blimey....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

????????

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

To be fair, with you username you were well placed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His mum came home"

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Long time ago - dirty anal with gf in her grandmas spare bed - lots of brown smelly stains that couldn’t be explained away.

Grandma found it funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Omg I'm crying Haha can you imagine how awkward that would be.i need to hear what was said straight after lol "

I said nothing I was getting sick

We ended up being a couple for years she even had the cheek to say it was my fault for giving her a intense orgasm

Fuck my luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She licked my balls,I kneed her in the face and off the bed, involuntary reaction. Never done it before, dont like it so won't be again. She was fine and laughed about it. I thought for a minute I had knocked her out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

What makes you think it was an accident ????"

What? She faked coming?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

What makes you think it was an accident ????

What? She faked coming? "

Think they mean she might of wanted to shit on his head

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By *wmbranmikeMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry!

"
did you laugh that hard you shit yourself tho lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry!

did you laugh that hard you shit yourself tho lol x"

Managed to hold it in

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Are you sure that it was an accident lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Are you sure that it was an accident lol

It better have been lol

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Are you sure that it was an accident lol

It better have been lol "

I think it's a fetish for some people isn't it?.

Sorry but this post has made my day and I laughed when I read it but like yourself I would probably throw up if it happened to me

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By *uriousVoyeur2000Man
over a year ago

near enough

My whoops was unintentionally horrible, I felt bad for her. This isn’t funny but it was very awkward. When she went on top her knee got me in the balls, I put my hand round her throat and said maybe it’s my turn to cause you a little pain. It’s not my place to say the reason it would be her place but instantly the mood changed. She wanted to leave, I picked her up so I had to take her home it’s safe to say that was the most awkward half hour of my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

"
you win no one will top that

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By *ralwizardMan
over a year ago

Thornaby

Once some girl was riding me ..:: biggish girl, anyways half way through we heard like a snap/ click and my Willy started hurting!! I soon went limp...: still don’t know to this day what happened

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By *lirt and funCouple
over a year ago

ilford

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Have literally been sobbing with laughter reading that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Funniest thing ever heard

Not if you were me "

And it didn't help with you hair loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came knees gave way fell and knocked my self out she just laughed

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By *eanorWoman
over a year ago

Yep i cant beat that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Not gonna lie that is grim

. For me it was a meet from here and it was going alright untill I got a nose bleed

wouldent have been so bad if I wasn't on top lol... I was so mortified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bloody nuisance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smashed him in the face with my knee and blacked his eye as he was Cumming x

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By *ay Jay corkCouple
over a year ago

Cork

Lol thats a conversation starter im weak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A girl I was dating years back, collected Teddy Bears and in my younger more excitable days my aim was a bit off. Went to give her a facial and I came so hard I overshot her by some distance and got one of the bears in the face on the shelf behind her. She was fuming. The looks I got in the dry cleaners lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A girl I was dating years back, collected Teddy Bears and in my younger more excitable days my aim was a bit off. Went to give her a facial and I came so hard I overshot her by some distance and got one of the bears in the face on the shelf behind her. She was fuming. The looks I got in the dry cleaners lol"

Ha ha ha ha!! That’s hilarious... !

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Once some girl was riding me ..:: biggish girl, anyways half way through we heard like a snap/ click and my Willy started hurting!! I soon went limp...: still don’t know to this day what happened "

She either broke your dick or she broke a hip. Either way you have a high pain threshold

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Riding in a hotel abd the cleaner came in.

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By *iobhan123Woman
over a year ago

Deal

"My whoops was unintentionally horrible, I felt bad for her. This isn’t funny but it was very awkward. When she went on top her knee got me in the balls, I put my hand round her throat and said maybe it’s my turn to cause you a little pain. It’s not my place to say the reason it would be her place but instantly the mood changed. She wanted to leave, I picked her up so I had to take her home it’s safe to say that was the most awkward half hour of my life"

I would have been heading for the hills too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Riding in a hotel abd the cleaner came in."

And...??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Riding in a hotel abd the cleaner came in.

And...??"

They were asked to leave the hotel bar...

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By *omnlynneCouple
over a year ago

milton keynes

do you need a tissue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Omg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Can't stop laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
that was no accident

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I'm crying with laughter here lol no point telling mine.. yours win ass down lol

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Pissing myself

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Nope can't beat that ...but had a rather frantic M/M/F and the bed broke ...next day was repairing said bed and mrs4 mother turns up ( forgot she was due to pick up something) and im in the middle of repairing the bed ...and she asks ."How did it happen " .....

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By *andaele50Couple
over a year ago

Fcuksville

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Oh shit! Literally

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Spillkit hahaha

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

OP,you have made my day! Possibly the funniest thing I will ever hear all year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

OMG she must've been mortified!!

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By *otwifeandcuckCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

OMG howling here....

You literally shagged the shit out of her pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not had too many fortunately.

I thought he had shit on his arse which were freckles and said something I shouldn't.

A position change miscommunication and we headbutted each other hard.

He came inside when I wasn't on birth control. Xx

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By *extravagantWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

That’s happened to me actually. Didn’t shit on his head, but on his tummy. After some very vigorous and well lubed anal play, decided to switch to reverse cowgirl. Had an intense orgasm which resulted in a fecal accident on his belly.

A few weeks later, same guy, during a rather insistent deep throating session (I did warn him I was gagging) I vomited on his belly.

Total mood killers both times.

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By *ess n BenCouple
over a year ago

Didcot

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

The first thing to make me really laugh in ages

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell into someone’s house at the door and broke my ankle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

What the fuck

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

I was between an ex’s legs giving him oral, I started kissing his balls and he farted, it stank!!!!! After he stopped laughing and I’ve stopped heaving, I went back down and he done it again. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed and the moment had definitely gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Puked on a guys dick while being spitroasted

Lost a butt plug inside my ass while vigorously riding my ex, legit nearly died of fright because I didn't think it was possible

I yanked that baby out like my life depended on and I bled all over his leg

(Same ex) was on top during 69 and grinded his face so hard we drew blood

My plug-in wand exploded just after I had cum and burnt my ribs

Yea I've had a few whoopsies through the years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
shit on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head shit on it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That’s happened to me actually. Didn’t shit on his head, but on his tummy. After some very vigorous and well lubed anal play, decided to switch to reverse cowgirl. Had an intense orgasm which resulted in a fecal accident on his belly.

A few weeks later, same guy, during a rather insistent deep throating session (I did warn him I was gagging) I vomited on his belly.

Total mood killers both times.

Are you sure you are not my ex sister lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I'm not even reading the rest of the comments, because none of them will possibly come close to this!

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

Many years ago with an ex, we'd had sex and afterwards I thought she'd started her period. Nope, I'd slightly torn my "banjo string". Quite a lot of blood for such a small incident and I didn't even feel a thing. A day or two later and all was well.

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

OMG howling here....

You literally shagged the shit out of her pmsl"

Shouldn't that be locked the shit out of her, or headbutted lol

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By *KAholeandgloryCouple
over a year ago

exeter

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Don’t think there needs to be any more msgs. You win gold everyone else get your coat we have a winner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock fell out and she came down on it hard causing a hell of a lot of pain

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By *KAholeandgloryCouple
over a year ago

exeter

"Cock fell out and she came down on it hard causing a hell of a lot of pain "

Still think op gets gold lol

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By *ess n BenCouple
over a year ago

Didcot

Yep think Fab should give the OP a prize for giving us all a laugh during these depressing times

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Fucking hell, that's not awkward, that's seriously disturbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

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By *ownhamguyMan
over a year ago

Battle

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Shithead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had 4some. Girls were playing and she down on mrs. Block said get in there so I did. He wanted Mrs so she turned to give me bj. Id been up her arse and it wasnt pleasent viewing

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By *icola2202Couple
over a year ago

Chatham

Wasn’t during but I threw her on the bed then stubbed my f*ucking toe!!

Instant boner killer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I had a similar situation years back. I was at a swinging party. Just chatting to a guy casually telling that I go scuba diving. He was telling me he wind surfs. Couple next to me were firting with me. She ask me did I like watersports. Yes I love watersports. We got down to a 3some. She was on top of me, he was standing over me getting sucked off. She got off and the 2 of them quickly started pissing on me when I realised "No I don't watetsports WTF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified

She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick "

Bahahahaha you had to add puuuuuuuukkke to the scenario...lovely

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

" "

Ha ha that’s quality !

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By *uHorny1Man
over a year ago

Cannock

In a hotel getting a blowjob off my fb. Started cumming on her face when in walked the maintenance man.

I just kept going...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Oh my that made me lol

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By *hrissycox66TV/TS
over a year ago

watford

My woopsie was with my ex she was on top going hell for leather we had a pine bed. Well the bed collapsed and the headboard came forward and hit her on the head, well I cracked up until blood was dripping down on me she needed 4 stitches.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going down on a girl once and had a nose bleed and didn’t realise until I started tasting blood and come up from between her legs with a face full of blood. Not a good look lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ

Its not like im even that big

I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident

I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least ur bald

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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

two girls at a party playing on a bed and one girl picked up a beer bottle and fucked the other with it her partner then went down on her and found a ciggarette but in her fanny went to the bathroom and rinsed several more out with the shower hose the bottle had been used as an ash tray

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"two girls at a party playing on a bed and one girl picked up a beer bottle and fucked the other with it her partner then went down on her and found a ciggarette but in her fanny went to the bathroom and rinsed several more out with the shower hose the bottle had been used as an ash tray"

Personal hygiene for beginners

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ

Its not like im even that big

I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident

I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy"

Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

Ewwwwww smoker myself but never use beer bottle as an ashtray.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ

Its not like im even that big

I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident

I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy

Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol"

Hahah just noticed the OP is relatively near. But no it wasn't lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two beds pushed together in a hotel and us falling through the middle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Had a guy throw up on my cock while getting a BJ

Its not like im even that big

I know a friend of mine sharted on someones face by accident

I was sick once at meets/friends house because i had d*unk a whole bottle of really really shit white wine and it gave me terrible acid reflux thingy

Wasn't the OP'S date was it lol

Hahah just noticed the OP is relatively near. But no it wasn't lol!"

It must be something to do with the area lol

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

I have nothing to add but I laughed so hard reading this... Sorry!

Nice to read about others' comings and goings.

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By *umblebiMan
over a year ago

ayles

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By *yanShireMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

In a threeway where I was on my back and she was riding me, her boyfriend passed me some liquid gold (I was very naive to all that) and she accidentally threw her arm up at the same time causing a heck of a lot of it to go up my nose.... not....good.....

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By *ammanMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

I was in the swing in Chams. She was on her back. Me standing.. and going for it big time!

I just as I'm about to cum I lean forward. She cums big and curls upwards.

Head butting me in the throat! As I was going downwards fast. Shex was cumming up fast! BANG right in the throat!

I thought I was going to die!

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

Kid took my glow in the dark vibrator to her class show and tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So she sat on your face and shat on your face lol. You must have felt crap ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kid took my glow in the dark vibrator to her class show and tell.

That must have been embarrassing lol

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

Farted midway through sex and have a blowjob and farted in the guys face

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I think my sex life is tame compared to a lot of people on here judging by the forums!!!

I once met a girl from here who had never squirted.......until she met me. It flew in the air and hit her in the face. That was a great night haha

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By *nt1Man
over a year ago

Allington

My gf was bent over a sofa and i was ramming my dick all the way in and all the way out quite hard (she liked that) then one time while in full motion my cock jumped holes and i thrust my entire cock up to the root in her arse.... she was an arse virgin at the time so it was quite a shocking thing for her.

Another time i was with an older lady missionary. It was a good shag and i could feel her very wet. After a while i got up on my knees and saw she was bleeding like a sacrificed goat. I dont mean a bit of red on my dick i mean full flooding down to our knees. She was shocked as she'd not had a period for a few years. I just shrugged and carried on to the end.

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By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Nothing to bad, have started my period unexpectedly many moons ago and had to have new matress and literally clean a scene from a murder, had assumed very wet n low light....

Cum so hard, literally bailed off the bed forgot where I was, not at home, and walked into a wall about knocked myself out....

Thankfully never had a poohnami as prep well, did over do it myself with a bum toy once and made myself bleed a lil, which I did panic n think it was brown.......but was fine.

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

I wife was bent over the freezer in a short skirt getting some frozen chips out and I slid my cock into her pussy.... They threw us out of Morrisons

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Obviously the last one was a joke but this is true. I was in the toilets in Morrisons at the urinal and someone was in the cubicle next to them. I started to have a wank because there was a spy hole in the cubicle. I knew the guy in there was watching me because there was no sound and I was shocked when he came out and it was a member of staff. He asked me if I was having a play and I made some feeble excuse and left.since then he has followed me into the toilets for five times gone into the cubicle and watch me wank.

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By *roticusCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

With a previous and very dirty lover, who was a squirter - I spent a half hour under the bed clothes slowly licking her to an orgasm and she came very hard, squirting into my mouth as she came. When I emerged from the bedding we discovered she'd just come heavily on. I looked like Carrie and she pissed herself laughing.

So she got her orgasm and I got my red wings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scatman.......sorry, sad I know but I couldn’t resist lol

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By *it ov quality!Man
over a year ago

west yorkshire

Playing with a woman, giving her a sweet two finger shuffle. She squirted then proceeded to follow through with runny poo. .

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

With my first boyfriend, I was just out of the shower and tried a sexy wet hair flip... misjudged the distance between us, sharply headered him upwards in the nose, he had a fucker of a nosebleed. He had nosebleed issues for months after, I felt dreadful!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

When I had my very first fab meet with my now fiancé we were having sex in a hotel room, him on top of me, all of the sudden I felt something wet landed on my face. It was his blood as his nose started bleeding quite badly.

Fun fact - We've known each other for over three and a half years now and he hasn't had a nosebleed since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to Cyprus to spend a week with a guy who I'd met here but never in person

Yep no reprimands needed! wasn't the cleverest or safest thing I'd ever done!

Well I'd just developed epilepsy and was having a fuck it I want to live my life.

We met, got to the apartment and had a darn good fuck.

Second time I was riding him well ...... and had a full on seizure!! And was then in a post ictal phase (nonresponsive) for 20 mins!! He was terrified and rang my friend who was on my emergency list (he did know I had seizures)

We didnt fuck again, the rest of the whole week!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just here for the comments

Mrs C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was getting a 69 her head was under the sheet when i farted she did come up very quickly

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Had her fart up my nose in that position but not shit

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "
ewwwww really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When me and my ex would change positions, she would often accidentally kick, hit or lean on my balls.

Thinking back on it, it might not have been accidental...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I had my very first fab meet with my now fiancé we were having sex in a hotel room, him on top of me, all of the sudden I felt something wet landed on my face. It was his blood as his nose started bleeding quite badly.

Fun fact - We've known each other for over three and a half years now and he hasn't had a nosebleed since

You obviously took him to new heights lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was giving my wife oral while wearing my glasses. When she came she locked her legs around me and twisted like a pro wrestler. My glasses snapped in two. Explanations in the morning on how did I break my glasses to family were creative. Guess what I take them off now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Actually laughed out loud

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By *ackFromTheDead2Man
over a year ago

London/Surrey

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

This is the funniest thing I've heard ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a friend telling me once that he had anal with his gf for the first time and when he pulled out there was a piece of sweet corn stuck to his bellend lol

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By *ozapperMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

Both teenagers in my newly purchased Reliant Van after getting my motorcycle license two weeks earlier. Put an old matress in the back of the van as I played in a band at the time and it saved damaging the gear (well that's my excuse!). Girlfriend's parents were avid gardeners and had given me some home grown vegetables to take home to mum and dad.. yummy!

Anyway, on the way back home we stopped to get amorous in the back of 5he van on the matress and on hearing a sound outside turned the interior light on to find the whole of the matress blood red as though one of us had had a huge major bleed. Thinking the worst i.e. I had caused my girlfriend some major vaginal injury in our youthful exuberance, we both screamed out loud and hence the shenanegins were instantly curtailed, only to find out minutes after intimately examining ourselves that the staining was due to crushing and then splitting a bag of boiled beetroot I had been given by her parents!!!

Oh the relief to find the reason followed by lots of laughter!!!!

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By *DistinguishedGentMan
over a year ago

Tenerife

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

I just shit myself laughing at this hahaha...

Bet it was an unpleasant experience OP

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Both teenagers in my newly purchased Reliant Van after getting my motorcycle license two weeks earlier. Put an old matress in the back of the van as I played in a band at the time and it saved damaging the gear (well that's my excuse!). Girlfriend's parents were avid gardeners and had given me some home grown vegetables to take home to mum and dad.. yummy!

Oh the relief to find the reason followed by lots of laughter!!!!"

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By *imandLiz14Couple
over a year ago

Needham

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Funniest thing ever heard

Not if you were me

I'm really sorry but I'm crying with laughter

Apologies but me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking a ex from behind only for her mum to walk in,dove under her covers later on as my ex was getting a drink her mum says was you getting fucking in you bum was in her pussy but could walk passed her mum without thinking she know as we did do anal just not that time

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By *ereforthefun1Couple
over a year ago

derby

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head "

Hilarious! Told the Mrs not to get any ideas

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By *est_Mids_Nice_GuyMan
over a year ago

willenhall

I’ve had a few over the years.

My ex sister in law used to sleep walk and she climbed in the wrong bed with me and I woke up With a hard on thinking it was the wife playing with it. Turned out it was her sister who seemed still fast asleep.

Also had a girl demand it as hard as I could from behind and the condom broke. So put a new one on and that broke to. Didn’t have any more so had to settle for oral. I later complained to ‘Mates’ who sent me 200 condoms.

Was shagging an ex against a tree and I reached up to steady myself on a thick branch which broke, fell and hit her on the head. She required stitches

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

Had a friend who was getting hot and heavy from behind and decided that " who's your daddy" would be funny to say. The girl started violently sobbing. Turns out she had been abused by her father for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the worst whoopsie that has happened to you

I was in a 69 with her sat on my face and when she cum she accidentally shit on my head

Thats hilarious. I'm sure she was mortified

She was devastated especially when I started heaving and getting sick "

And henceforth he was know as Shithead, the man who had one curled on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once when with an ex we were on holiday in Scotland and we were getting a bit freaky and I’d just finished a bottle of beer so we thought it’d be fun to insert into her pussy, just as I’m slowly sliding it in, my mum walks into the room. Both of us try to hide what we were doing under the covers but I think it was too late

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