FabSwingers.com forum: Who pays on a date?

By *adame 2Swords OP Woman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Personally, I like to sort out before a meal out, is this a date, or just friends going for a meal?

If it's a date, then they might get to pay, though I will always want/offer to contribute. Partly because I want to pay my way, and not be under pressure to 'put out' in payment afterwards. Have been known to be sneaky and pay towards the bill while I've been off to the loo. Can't argue then!!!!

If we're just friends, then it's definitely going 'Dutch', takes the pressure off, and we can order what we like instead of trying to be aware that the other is paying. Much more relaxing and no arguments.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If we invite people to join us for a meal regardless of if its a date or friends then we pay, unless the other person(s) is adamant they must contribute.

Its not a covert contract, its more a case of we invited you and we would hate for you to be out of pocket if you hated our choice.

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By *riendly older leggy wifeCouple
over a year ago

london

The bloke pays

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I haven't dated for years but if I did now I'd want to go Dutch. If a guy felt he absolutely had to pay I'd let him but any further dates would need to be on a level footing.

When I go out with friends we just split the bill.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Split the bill normally especially when first meeting someone.I don't see why anyone would be expected to pay it all .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half each? You buy starter I’ll buy dessert?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but I am old fashioned and like to be seduced and I feel the moment will probably go if I have to get a card out

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Usually go halves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always pay for everything on a date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have paid for every social we have had and as a man I always paid for any dates before being married

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I usually offer to go halves but if the guy or couple insist on paying I don't say no

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I always pay my own way.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Depends on the situation for me. If a guy has travelled to see me then I'll pay for the meal. If I've paid for a hotel room I'd expect him to pick up the meal.

If it's a local social and neither of us are more out of pocket than the other, I'd expect to split the bill.

If it's someone I see on a regularish basis then we take turns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/21 20:06:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old fashioned or just polite I'm not sure, but I'd always expect to pick up the bill on a first date. Without question. If she argued about it, that's fine, but I'd still pay!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He pays on a date or he shouldn't of asked you out if he can't afford it he shouldn't be dating

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Women want equality, so they can pay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50/50.

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London

I met a woman for a social meal she offered to pay...so I let her

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If a guy doesn't pay for the date he wasn't brought up right

If the female doesn't offer she wasn't

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By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I was raised to believe the gentleman pays the bill, but I've been scolded for it so I'm more flexible now depending on circumstances.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I don't go on 'dates' with people on here. I meet them for a social or more, but it isn't a date & is usually either coffee or drinks not a full meal. I always pay my own way.

On a non fab date I will always offer to split the bill but it is sometimes nice to have someone really wine & dine me & spoil me a bit.

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By *ongueFkYouMan
over a year ago

Bradford

The guy should pay

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By *tudiousPipWoman
over a year ago

W Yorks

I always assume I'm gonna be paying my share when the bill comes, and order according to my bank balance. If he insists on meeting somewhere out of my price range we'll have already had the "who's paying?" conversation!

If it's somewhere I can afford but he insists on paying I won't be offended. If he assumes I'm paying I'll be very offended.

And if he starts factoring petrol costs into the bill then I'll still pay half, but I'll have a taxi booked before he gets on to wear and tear of the tyres and he'll be blocked the second I'm home

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

It's interesting when people say "I'd want to pay [the guy] and even if she offered, I'd still pay." How does that work?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I will always pay half of any costs. To me that is only fair.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I always pay but if a lady reaches out for the bill even though I won't expect her to pay.. she's definitely a keeper in my books

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"It's interesting when people say "I'd want to pay [the guy] and even if she offered, I'd still pay." How does that work? "

Just do what I do.. we went out for a late night takeaway.. she went to pay.. I offered to pay so we ended up wrestling each others hands away from the contact less payment machine. We both laugh about it afters though lol

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By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester

I haven't checked every comment, but is it a generation thing? If I've asked someone out I'd always expect to pay.(although I have to admit to have been treated a couple of times in recent years!) I see it as my way of saying thank you for your company.NOT a deposit on expectations.

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By *tudiousPipWoman
over a year ago

W Yorks

Actually, I've just realised that, if we're in a restaurant, I have a habit of saying, "No, it's OK, I'll pay half, but I'll let you take care of the tip."

You can tell so much from the tip he leaves! If he was happy to pay for my lobster ravioli, but throws coppers in for a tip - no thanks!

If he randomly throws down a note - he can't do mental maths. And I kinda fancy blokes who can... And grammar nerds!

If he rounds up 10% to the nearest pound (which is not difficult maths!) he's coming back to mine

God, I miss restaurants!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It's interesting when people say "I'd want to pay [the guy] and even if she offered, I'd still pay." How does that work?

And who paid in the end, out of curiosity?

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

I know that whoever asked for the date paying is still kinda expected, but I'm not keen, and I don't think it should be the default. Sure it's nice to have a meal bought for you by your partner, but for a first date or new relationship my personal preference is to either split the bill or pay for our own. I don't like the expectation some folk have, like you've been bought something so you owe them a goodnight kiss, or a coffee back at yours, or even an automatic second date. Plus, going out together, you are both participating, and anticipating a nice time; I think it's fairer if the cost is shared, it's not like the one who asked is necessarily the only person who will be getting something out of it.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We often have this dilemma when out with friends.

Its awkward as the one couple are happy to order a bottle or two of expensive wine that only they want but when it comes to paying they don't offer to add that onto their part of the bill?

If its a night out with just one other couple then if we invited them then we will pay the bill.

As for dating, today's guys seem very reluctant to put their hands in their pockets, bit like our one set of friends above.

Just my view on it (Mr).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a first date, then whoever asks should pay. After all, they're asking to take you out.

After that, I like to go Dutch.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"I always pay my own way."

I will book the Ivy for us when lockdown lifted, don’t worry I will pay for the hotel room

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By *avidgeorge68Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"If it's a first date, then whoever asks should pay. After all, they're asking to take you out.

After that, I like to go Dutch."

Agree the person asking someone out should pay

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By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

If I was to invite someone out for a meal one on one then I would pay, in a group then split the bill but don’t haggle about who had what

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By *ORPEDO COCKMan
over a year ago

cheshire

I've been invited more than once to a premier inn room with a couple,they asked an said it was there pleasure,they were both bi......

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By *ood Time RMan
over a year ago

London / Hertfordshire

Call me old fashioned but I always pay for the first date. Would never accept half. Not as a non equality thing but I think that’s part of the dating etiquette

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I always pay my own way.

I will book the Ivy for us when lockdown lifted, don’t worry I will pay for the hotel room

That wouldn't be a problem

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I'd want to and expect to pay half, or at least pay fully next time. If a guy insisted on always paying on dates I would quickly stop seeing him, I'm not something to be bought.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'd want to and expect to pay half, or at least pay fully next time. If a guy insisted on always paying on dates I would quickly stop seeing him, I'm not something to be bought."

And if I was in the dating game, I'd be the same...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just split it, either in half or each pay for our own things separately. Problem solved =)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m paying halves, I don’t want to feel that I owe the other party something sexually for paying for my meal

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