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"Monogamy usually tends to be intertwined with other factors such as kids, history, friendship and a mortgage. Or it could just be a matter is sociological pressure which one feels unable to stand against. If there is anything I’ve learned after 20+ years of marriage, some of which monogamous, it is that monogamy isn’t for everyone." This is how I also feel but after following the thread I couldn't put into words myself. | |||
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"So we are swingers, well, I am. This is because I get bored of sex with the same person all the time, and the thought of sex with just that 1 person for the rest of my life is enough to make me stay single forever. No matter how good the sex is (I have had some fantastic relationship sex) I always want something new and exciting. How do people do it? Are they really happy? Why is variety so frowned upon?" You know I've never understood how someone could do it... till now. Seems the key is the right person. Not saying it would last foreve, but so far every time is like the first time , ie new and exciting. I have however told him and he has told me that should we feel the want, need ,or desire for fun with others that we will have that option. However still in the honeymoon period. ( although my normal attention span is really short) and obviously clubs etc are closed and meeting others not an option. I've however never been monogamous or faithful in my entire life... till now.... maybe I hit my head harder than I thought recently | |||
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"My husband is my home. He's my best friend and the sex can be amazing. It can also be very boring after 19 years together. There's not many secrets and there's no need to try, which is both beautiful and... boring. We have been both open and closed, I like the freedom and excitement of the possibilities but it has to be the right timing. I don't believe we were made to be monogamous and there's a whole rant there about the patriarchy that I will spare you. I think it has its place but I also know that whether or not either of us chooses to play elsewhere the possibility makes life much more exciting. That was a whole lot of possibilities in one post, sorry! " That's similar to our view | |||
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"Female here. I don't need variety, i have the best guy at home. But I like multiple sensations so need other people to play with us to get that. Not the same just with toys, don't get the same naughty feeling either." This as well | |||
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" This is because I get bored of sex with the same person all the time" After 3 years on Fab you're the first we've ever seen admit this! This is what we suspect with a lot of people on Fab too. After over 25 years together we are literally still at it like rabbits. We make an effort and have lots of variety, and can happily be monogamous. We're here for different reasons to most, girl on girl and group fun, not just partner swapping. Great pics by the way | |||
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" This is because I get bored of sex with the same person all the time After 3 years on Fab you're the first we've ever seen admit this! This is what we suspect with a lot of people on Fab too. After over 25 years together we are literally still at it like rabbits. We make an effort and have lots of variety, and can happily be monogamous. We're here for different reasons to most, girl on girl and group fun, not just partner swapping. Great pics by the way " Hubby new I was Bi from the day he met me... for the last 19 years we have enjoyed what we wanted together when we want to.. it’s kept the marriage healthy | |||
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"I think monogamy is getting out of date. I think swinging is a growing lifestyle that will find acceptance in the future but still frowned upon at the moment by the majority. I think being a swinger is a bit like being gay was 20 years ago. People know it happens but it is not accepted in polite society. I hope the change will be swift!" What about when a couple want to start a family...how do you envisage that happening outwith a monogamous relationship? | |||
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"I confess I am still utterly in love with my wife of nearly 13 years but acknowledge that monogamy is something I would struggle with. My other half has admitted that although she would be utterly loyal she has always had really powerful fantasies of sex with strangers, groups etc. So the swinging involvement works for us both. Early on we agreed that our rules were that we could both enjoy whatever we want, with whoever. As long as it was in the same room. In other words no sneaking around behind the others back. So for us it has worked perfectly." You have just saved me a lot of typing. That is exactly how we think, although I do tend to let her wander off on her own sometimes when we are in a club. | |||
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"Monogamy works fine for lots of people. People who shag around with strangers will never understand that, same as monogamous people won't ever understand swinging. " Put so beautifully there outsider I was just looking for other points of view | |||
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"Monogamy works fine for lots of people. People who shag around with strangers will never understand that, same as monogamous people won't ever understand swinging. Put so beautifully there outsider I was just looking for other points of view " I just meant the answers on here will be skewed as most people will see monogamy as a ridiculous idea that won't work. X | |||
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" This is because I get bored of sex with the same person all the time After 3 years on Fab you're the first we've ever seen admit this! This is what we suspect with a lot of people on Fab too. After over 25 years together we are literally still at it like rabbits. We make an effort and have lots of variety, and can happily be monogamous. We're here for different reasons to most, girl on girl and group fun, not just partner swapping. Great pics by the way " Wow really? Nobody has admitted to not being capable of monogomy? I am amazed lol. I don't see it as a bad thing to admit, atleast I am honest. I don't cheat, never have. I WAS monogomous before discovering this lifestyle but after the first 2 years I do tend to get bored of the same person sexually. Doesnt mean I didnt have sex with them...or cheat as I mentioned, it just means I like different people and variety. My longest monomous relationship was an 8 year marriage. I went wild when we split lol | |||
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"I confess I am still utterly in love with my wife of nearly 13 years but acknowledge that monogamy is something I would struggle with. My other half has admitted that although she would be utterly loyal she has always had really powerful fantasies of sex with strangers, groups etc. So the swinging involvement works for us both. Early on we agreed that our rules were that we could both enjoy whatever we want, with whoever. As long as it was in the same room. In other words no sneaking around behind the others back. So for us it has worked perfectly." This to me is a perfect setup and similar to my last relationship | |||
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"I think monogamy is getting out of date. I think swinging is a growing lifestyle that will find acceptance in the future but still frowned upon at the moment by the majority. I think being a swinger is a bit like being gay was 20 years ago. People know it happens but it is not accepted in polite society. I hope the change will be swift! What about when a couple want to start a family...how do you envisage that happening outwith a monogamous relationship?" We’ve got a child so it’s entirely possible to be non-monogamous and raise kids. Plenty of children are born and brought up by parents who aren’t in a monogamous relationship - single parents for example. For me it would be nice to think of a time when we could have a profile on here with our real names and face pics and not feel any shame about it. | |||
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"I think monogamy is getting out of date. I think swinging is a growing lifestyle that will find acceptance in the future but still frowned upon at the moment by the majority. I think being a swinger is a bit like being gay was 20 years ago. People know it happens but it is not accepted in polite society. I hope the change will be swift! What about when a couple want to start a family...how do you envisage that happening outwith a monogamous relationship? We’ve got a child so it’s entirely possible to be non-monogamous and raise kids. Plenty of children are born and brought up by parents who aren’t in a monogamous relationship - single parents for example. For me it would be nice to think of a time when we could have a profile on here with our real names and face pics and not feel any shame about it." I guess I was probably thinking more about the decision to have a child within the dynamics of a poly relationship | |||
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"Been with my partner for 8 years and swinging for almost 2. We are life partners and will get married and have children. However, sex with others, that you connect with, is fun and exciting - if you're attracted to someone and get on well, if the moment takes you then why not? Its how we see it and it works for us. It doesn't work for everyone. " This is also us. We’ve been together 8 years and been swinging 8 years. Swinging is something we occasionally add into our marriage, it’s more a mutual adventure than non monogamy. | |||
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"I think monogamy is getting out of date. I think swinging is a growing lifestyle that will find acceptance in the future but still frowned upon at the moment by the majority. I think being a swinger is a bit like being gay was 20 years ago. People know it happens but it is not accepted in polite society. I hope the change will be swift! What about when a couple want to start a family...how do you envisage that happening outwith a monogamous relationship? We’ve got a child so it’s entirely possible to be non-monogamous and raise kids. Plenty of children are born and brought up by parents who aren’t in a monogamous relationship - single parents for example. For me it would be nice to think of a time when we could have a profile on here with our real names and face pics and not feel any shame about it. I guess I was probably thinking more about the decision to have a child within the dynamics of a poly relationship " As long as the child is loved and cared for then it’s not a problem. The issue would be lack of acceptance from everyone else eg family, school, neighbours. That would make it trickier. | |||
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"I was so obsessed with my ex that I couldn’t even find anyone else remotely attractive. He was my everything " Erk | |||
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"I think monogamy is getting out of date. I think swinging is a growing lifestyle that will find acceptance in the future but still frowned upon at the moment by the majority. I think being a swinger is a bit like being gay was 20 years ago. People know it happens but it is not accepted in polite society. I hope the change will be swift! What about when a couple want to start a family...how do you envisage that happening outwith a monogamous relationship? We’ve got a child so it’s entirely possible to be non-monogamous and raise kids. Plenty of children are born and brought up by parents who aren’t in a monogamous relationship - single parents for example. For me it would be nice to think of a time when we could have a profile on here with our real names and face pics and not feel any shame about it. I guess I was probably thinking more about the decision to have a child within the dynamics of a poly relationship " Personally I don't want children so it's not an issue for me. I do know polyamorous folk with children though. | |||
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