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"Lots think they are dom but, in reality they are just bullies." Then they're not doms. A Ds relationship is concensual, empowers each partner and fulfills the desires of both in a safe environment. There is respect both ways, and the dom has responsibility to make sure it works for the sub. Let's not confuse abuse and BDSM. They aren't the same. | |||
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"What about the other way around?" The Dom in charge? Then they’re not a Dom. They’re a twat. | |||
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"Just remember. If you’re the Dom and she’s the sub. She’s in charge. If you think it’s the other way around, it’s not for you. " I am afraid I have a different point of view. The ideals that the sub has all the power/is in charge/submission is a gift etc. are in my opinion out dated, however each dynamic is unique and if it works for you then go for it. People just need to remember its called Power Exchange for a reason. Both Dom and sub can withdrawer their submission or Dominance in equal measures. Next people will be saying Doms can’t safeword ![]() | |||
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"Just remember. If you’re the Dom and she’s the sub. She’s in charge. If you think it’s the other way around, it’s not for you. I am afraid I have a different point of view. The ideals that the sub has all the power/is in charge/submission is a gift etc. are in my opinion out dated, however each dynamic is unique and if it works for you then go for it. People just need to remember its called Power Exchange for a reason. Both Dom and sub can withdrawer their submission or Dominance in equal measures. Next people will be saying Doms can’t safeword ![]() Oh of course, I’ve used a safe word myself as a Dom. I always go in At that angle due to the people I’m Talking to and their perception of what they want to get into. | |||
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"Just remember. If you’re the Dom and she’s the sub. She’s in charge. If you think it’s the other way around, it’s not for you. " I don't agree, it's a mutual power exchange between two people. A sub should not demand a Dom carries out a certain scene if they are uncomfortable with it. A sub wouldn't have the right to call them a "fake Dom" just because they wouldn't. No one person should have all the control, it should be a mutual agreement between two consenting adults. Because if unfortunately something goes wrong or someone is triggered, it's not the Doms or subs fault as it was a joint decision to perform a scene. Or in sub space I've no control over my own actions, I loose the ability to feel pain, I'd happily let M carry on beyond what I should. It's his call and judgement to say that's enough. | |||
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"Let me phrase it this way. What does the Dom do? Instructions. Orders. Etc etc. What does the sub do? As they’re told by the Dom. That’s what people see. The sub can also say red. AEIOU. Tap three times. Say spongeBob. And on any of those (or whatever your safe words are). You stop. At any time the sub can stop everything. The Dom controls the narrative, but the sub is truly the one in charge. And if you don’t follow that idea for sub/Dom or BDSM or whatever, please see by previous point. Fuck my I’m eloquent today. " AmAzed how many don't get this, though every relationship is different, the narrative, as you say, is pretty much the same ![]() | |||
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