FabSwingers.com forum: Separate room vs same room swapping

By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Personally its not something that interests us at all

We enjoy playing together and for us its so horny seeing each other enjoy other people, or all of us enjoying each other at the same time

but I read something the other day from elsewhere that is pretty frightening

2 couples playing in this way and one of the women has now accused the man she was playing with of a sexual assault!

Obviously I don't know the details or whether there is any truth in the story at all

For those that do separate room swapping..would reading about something like this put you off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always thought that separate room = insecurity issues so we avoid it like the plague. If a couple do not like watching each other play then something is not quite right and we do not want to end up embroiled in that..........just our humble thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have in the past tried both... We prefer same room as we enjoy seeing as much as hearing..

When we tried seperate though it was a kind of experiment with a couple we know well and were more than happy with trying most things.. It was horny at the time and we never say never again, we just prefer same.... So much more you can do lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always thought that separate room = insecurity issues so we avoid it like the plague. If a couple do not like watching each other play then something is not quite right and we do not want to end up embroiled in that..........just our humble thought

Actually we find it the other way around!

Same room tends to be couples with insecurities.

We do both but have had a fair few couples thatwant same room fun only and spend more time watching what the other partner is doing rather then having fun themselves.

Everyone is dif. both are fine with us at the end of the day its what people are comfortable about and ANY insecurities will show up either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually we find it the other way around!

Same room tends to be couples with insecurities.

We do both but have had a fair few couples thatwant same room fun only and spend more time watching what the other partner is doing rather then having fun themselves.

Everyone is dif. both are fine with us at the end of the day its what people are comfortable about and ANY insecurities will show up either way."

I'd happily agree with that... If anything is wrong it would show up anyway..

Well said....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to ones own as ever.

I like same room so I can watch my partner, not through insecurities but through the fact that watching my partner enjoying sexual pleasures does it for me big time, however I would like to try separate room swap also, knowing I can't see what my partner is getting up to may have a very similar effect, We have touched on this a little, and was great, but would like to try it full on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually we find it the other way around!

Same room tends to be couples with insecurities.

We do both but have had a fair few couples thatwant same room fun only and spend more time watching what the other partner is doing rather then having fun themselves.

Everyone is dif. both are fine with us at the end of the day its what people are comfortable about and ANY insecurities will show up either way."

Nice post,we agree with that.We do both and have no problem or preference either way.Yes it is a turn on watching each other having sex but it can also cramp each others style.

For instance,its a fact that sometimes one partner will cut up rough because they think the other is enjoying themselves a little too much.However this problem wouldn't arise if they were in seperate rooms.

Some people can relax a lot more if they're separated.

Trace and I could go to a party and wander around doing our own thing,only meeting up for drink,chat and nibbles.

I love wandering through the party and seeing Trace playing in one of the rooms when she's unaware of me watching her.I'm a bit of a voyeur and its a Hell of a turn on.Its sometimes like watching a stranger.Very rude,lol.

Trace & Ric

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same room or not at all - simple as that

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"Same room or not at all - simple as that"
ill 2nd that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we meet another couple it's same room only as is a club BUT at a house party it's whatever takes our fancy to be honest.

Same room can = insecurity but in our case it's strictly a hornyness thing. Which also manifests itelf when we meet a single guy.

Its rare Gary gets very involved then and prefers to see me enjoying myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being the bi fem of the couple its nice when we meet cpls who are the same therefore it follows i like same room fun . It also gives the men a half time break LOL

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By *uicyJoWoman
over a year ago

northampton

I have to say same room is fun, but i do love seperate room as well. I have been in the position with my partner when the guy I was playing with with was getting glaring looks from his partner or even worse the insecure couples who have mini whispered domestics. At least with seperate rooms you are all free to let go a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have done both but we do prefer same room as i love listening to the other woman getting pleasure from my man

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Have to agree - same room only is often a couple with insecurities/issues.

Having said that when we started swinging we *only* did same room for a while - don't know why, it was nothing to do with issues, guess it was partly because we were told by others that it was the way to do it and partly because we had only just discovered the wonders of group sex!

Then we met a few couples who like to do separate room and both of us being trysexual.... well we tried it lol

Gotta say - same rome is great - we love group sex especially if it gets really horny and after a short while you know longer know who's bit's are where!

We also gotta say - if you ain't tried separate room you just don't know what you're missing, it's a different level of experience in a completely different way.

And on that point and taking a little further - we could also recommend playing alone. It took us a lot longer to get to this but being trysexual.... yeh you get the idea lol.

This we have both found to be an extrememly intense experience especially if you have the other person to yourself for say 4 - 5 hrs.

It's not somthing we do all the time (in fact only done it 4 times in total between us and mostly with partners we previously met as a couple/couple scenario) but it really has to be tried to fully understand it. Also when we get back together after this sort of experience we sit and talk about it then have the most horny sex just us two. What an icing on the cake lol

Swinging is all about expanding your sexuality and living out your deepest fantasies isn't it?

Obviously some couples we meet only do same room, some only do separate. Can't see the problem with that they are both so very nice in their own ways.

For us the perfect meet with a couple is to do both in one night - maybe a hotel meet, have a really good horny group session (especially so the girls can play together if they like), after that go for a drink or three to unwind - then swap partners/rooms for the rest of the night. Thoroughly delicious!

xxxx

J&R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only do same room swap nothing to do with insecurity at all but because we find it so unbelievably horny to watch each other enjoying sex with someone else.

I have to admit though we do each fantasize about the other having sex when we are not in the room, but neither of us is interested in being the one whos doing it without the other there ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We meet a couple, in the past. She was a very hot totty, he was very charming. Same room, but on playing Mrs Happy found him far too keen and rough and had to stop the play and say she was unwell...

Maybe that's what happened here, the chap was too keen and became a bit rough and too eager, ruining the fun for her...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, up to yet we have, One is insecure if they choose same room swap, and One is insecure if they choose separate room swap, I'm thinking some of you shouldn't be swinging, lol.

Once again it all comes down to perception.

On one hand a couple may like same room because they can see their partner enjoying sexual pleasures or they can be sure their partner is safe, well and happy, but on the other hand it may well be insecurity, wanting to know exactly what goes on so not to sneakily go beyond any limitations etc.

Again, on One hand a couple may like separate room swap because they like to NOT know what is going on then discuss it later therefore prolonging the sexual thrill, or enjoy whilst having liaisons themselves listening out for their partner, the bumps and grinds, the thrilling screech etc etc, but on the other hand it may well be insecurity, not wanting to know how much their partner is enjoying sex with another, or even hoping to sneakily go beyond their limitations.

Not everything is black and white, we are all very different and the sooner we all realise this then the sooner we will stop judging others by our own standards and pass our thoughts on another as fact.

I will say anybody prefer same or separate room swap because of insecurity or because you may want to go beyond your discussed limitations then this is not the place for you, swinging will harm your relationship, however, if you prefer same or separate room swap because of the extra thrill you BOTH get from it then keep it up, and send us a message!!

;-0

Jeez, that was one long and sneaky advert wasn't it. ;-0

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i cant really comment cos i am single and dont play with partner at the moment, but if i did i would not mind either as long as all partys were happy with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same room here, nothing to do with insecurities either, we just like to add a little extra to what we already have, not replace it, and in all honesty if we were both happy and content with 1 on 1 sex then we honestly wouldn’t be here, we’re here to do things we cannot do with each other, but each to there own and all that.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@ waynec

quote

What a fantastically profound and yet such a basic statement, and so well written - we couldn't have put that better ourselves!

xxxx

J&R

xxxxx

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

We were just wondering - as we said before we kinda 'evolved' from same room only, to separate room and even to solo meets over about 18 months of starting swinging. All have thier own special enjoyments for us,

Would some of the couples who only do separate room please add some comments here explaining why you prefer sep room only (plenty of comments already from those who prefer same room only) We're interested to here why you only (or mostly) do seperate.

Did you start out swinging that way and just stick with it, or have you tried same room and don't enjoy it (as much or at all) for some reason?

xxx

J&R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The insecurity argument could be argued both ways anyway...

You could say you were insecure by preferring separate cause you can't stand seeing your partner have fun.. Just as you could say you need to see to be able to ensure they don't lol...

Whatever anyone prefers is ok.. so long as all enjoying who cares???

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By *aryfairy2Couple
over a year ago

leicester

we have only ever tried seperate room, and prefer it as it means we can concentate on the other person more and being as we go at a different pace to each other no one is rushing to catch up! lol

also sometimes hearing what is going on in the other room is fun!

we also find that talking about it after is a major turn on for us!

we also trust each other totally not to cross any ground rules we have made.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We have no insecurities what so ever so that has nothing to do with why we enjoy same room swap

We had never given a thought about insecurities until it had been brought up on this thread time and time again as a reason for same room only

I just don't like the idea of being in a room with another man who is a relative stranger...The poor man would have no idea what he could be letting himself into!! :D

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@maryfairy

That's a fair answer to the question we asked.

One reason for our post asking why some did sep room only is because we only actually met one couple who would *only* do sep room.

It turned out that the stated reason of 'guy can't perform in public' should have said 'guy want's to bareback but his partner doesn't know so he likes to scatter a few condoms on the floor'. OK it was a fun night but we didn't meet again, it's not our place to judge but we were a little taken aback by the deceipt between a swinging couple.

We've met a lot who only do same room, a fair few who will do either same/sep and some who will do either but still have a marked preference for one or the other.

It just seems the sep room only swingers are very much in the minority. Interestingly you say you prefer sep room but openly admit you've never tried same room, can we ask how you know what you prefer if you never tried the alternative?

@Honeypotcouple

----------------

quote

We have no insecurities what so ever..... I just don't like the idea of being in a room with another man who is a relative stranger...

-----------------

By definition if that isn't an insecurity, then what is it?

xxxx

J&R

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Oh mairyfairy, we just read your profile, it seems you are considering trying same room at some point. That's how we got from same to sep to solo, when we were ready to try it, it just felt right.

Sorry if our question offends you.

xxx

J&R

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By *aryfairy2Couple
over a year ago

leicester

@ J & R

good question!

well how do i answer that!!

uummmm yes your right we don't know!

but for a starting point we felt this would be good for us!

we are working up to same and getting there quite fast at the mo!

as for the other man asking for bareback yes i might get asked but

i have too much respect for myself and my hubby so not really a problem and also no means no!

no one is gonna force me to anything!!

(trust me!)

and i trust my hubby so I KNOW he wouldn't dare even ask anyone else!

he's too polite!!

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By *aryfairy2Couple
over a year ago

leicester

@ J&R

were not easily offended!!

lol

but thanks for the concern.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

@ Rich and Judy,Im talking safety issues when I say I don't want to be in room on my own with a relative stranger

Tha insecurity issues raised have been to do with relationships and we don't have any of those sort of issues xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to go with the flow lol

Both enjoy together or seperate

Pros and cons to both activites but thats life in general

we do also meet seperatly but it is normally with people we have already met

At clubs we often do seperate it is very unlikly that a safety issue would occur and has not up to present

Its whatever you feel comfortable with at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be more careful in the future with my choice of words as using insecurity does seem to have put a different spin on what is a very straight forward question

We like same room fun because for us it works. We tried separate room one time and it didn't work so for us it's a no brainer. We also enjoy going to Chams on a Friday or Sunday where Mrs Two2 will play with single guys. I take great pleasure in sitting back, not partaking, in a private room and watching her enjoy herself with a guy she has chosen to play with.

There are a couple of examples on this thread and we have seen other profiles where separate room is the method of choice because of not wanting to compete or we go at a different pace etc. Whilst they are quite probably completely genuine reasons for us, and I stress for us it rings that little mental alarm bell which all swingers usually listen to and we simply pass that profile by.

There are enough examples in this thread to show that insecurity manifests itself in both same and separate room encounters so our thoughts are why invite further potential complication.

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By *coptoCouple
over a year ago

Côte d'Azur & Great Yarmouth

Would never meet alone (the safety issue’s been mentioned), but I find I relax a little more when hubby’s not actually watching. Having said that, after a few drinks - I’m on spiced rum and at the moment - I don’t really give a damn!

J xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

bump

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

same or sep room for us, we do sway more to sep as lke many have said you can let go truely, nice to chat about how it went and what naughties you got up to etc.

One step before playing alone, and yes we do that to, like _ichnjudy we trysexual lol

Happy swinging all

KnP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same room only for us!! Tried seperate room once only to find it was because the male actually wanted bareback without his partners knowledge.

We make it very clear we don't do bareback and they said the same when we were arranging the meet so a very swift halt was called to the meet and goodbyes very quickly followed!

Rightly or wrongly I did tell the fem the reason why !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, we recently started a thread about same or sep room but cannot access it for some reason..

We are at a stage where we want to swap but have different views on same / sep rooms.

I want same room so i can see what goes on, not cause i dont trust my wife but it is a turn on. sep room for me would be too secret, this is an insecurity...

My wife wants sep room as she feels that she wont be able to relax for her 1st time knowing i will be looking and is not sure if she wants to see me with another woman, she is ok if i am in another room though. She is also quite self conscious.

We have decided not to do either until we are both happy to do one or the other...could take a long time if we ever go through with it, lol....

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Yes the other thread seems to be broken since we posted on it - we did include multiple quotes in our last post and it seems to have cabbaged the forum software?

Anyway back to this same and sep room - as you know we do both and to be honest love both. We had a chat yesterday ourselves actually, regarding which we prefer (as we never really discussed it like that before).

What we both came to is this:

We prefer same room if the scenario is that we are meeting a couple where there is gonna be a lot of group play (a 4sum) with all involved together at the same time - so basically playing with your own partner and the others at the same time. Often we do this if the other fem is bisexual.

We prefer separate room if the scenario is that it is gonna be a 'swap' so we would be pretty much playing as two couples even if we were in the same room - in that case separate room allows you to concentrate on the person you are with a lot more and we believe the experience is better for that.

We can see from your point of view you have two insecurities, and they are both valid ones, so your dilemma is also valid.

The only answer in your case is gonna be some sort of compromise as you already realise.

We were gonna suggest that you find a couple (we know a quite a few like this, ourselves included) who are happy to do both separate and same room in one evening - then you get a flavour of both and both of you get to try your preferred way and all you have to do is toss a coin for which you try first! lol.

xxx

j&r

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

We'd also have to say though, we wonder why your wife is so self conscious - believe us she is well hot!

xxxx

j&r

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thx for the comments on Mrs Hotwife, i think she is lovely to, and so do a few others but it all comes back to a bad 1st marriage....

The couple we have met a cpl of times now have been great, not pushy and going with our flow of things, also very understanding with our dilemmas.

They have said that they do both same and seperate rooms so dont mind either and will go with whatever we decide.

Hadn't thought about trying both in the same night to be honest, not a bad idea, i will have to put that to Mrs Hot...

Thanks

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, we recently started a thread about same or sep room but cannot access it for some reason..

We are at a stage where we want to swap but have different views on same / sep rooms.

I want same room so i can see what goes on, not cause i dont trust my wife but it is a turn on. sep room for me would be too secret, this is an insecurity...

We have decided not to do either until we are both happy to do one or the other...could take a long time if we ever go through with it, lol...."

Hi, just read your post and noticed you admitted to an insecurity issue.

Also if your wife wouldn't be able to relax if you were in close proximity,we think you'd be well advised to sort these issues out before going further.

We don't want to put a dampener on your swinging debut but it's not something to be entered into lightly.

If there's the slightest bit of insecurity or unease get it sorted first,or you may live to regret it.

Good luck!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes your right....

We have decided not to do anything unless we are both entirely happy to do so.

We have also agreed that unless were both happy then sadly it will not go any further.

What we do like so far is the social meets that we have had, we have done some flirting, touching and kissing and have both been ok with this.

We have been honest with the cpl that we have met on 2 occassions and explained that we will just take things very slowly....

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

We prefer different room fun as we can then concentrate on our respective swap partners .. and then can talk about it with each other afterwards whilst we are having the most amazing sex

As for the "dangers" well if one has a problem the other would soon know about it.. but confident that would not happen anyway as we'd want to get to know them a bit first over a drink and if not comfortable then we say no

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

I have heard of occasions where couples who went for separate room swapping ending up only one room was having fun...while the other room just ends up doing nothing...and apparently...the women of the other couple was just a friend helping the dude to get laid...well, maybe she was not in the mood and said that...but it was sure possible...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same room or seperate room as long as everyone is having fun thats whats counts.

We are still quite new to this and have had same room swaps but would also do seperate room swaps. Just depends who you are with and where you are!!!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"Same room or seperate room as long as everyone is having fun thats whats counts.

We are still quite new to this and have had same room swaps but would also do seperate room swaps. Just depends who you are with and where you are!!!"

Mmmmm well we would never say that never happens - but in all honesty it has never happened to us. we have doe sap room with a lot of couples and invariably it leads to a more intense sexual experience in both rooms. Maybe we just lucky.

xxx

j&r

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

oop sorry wrong quote snuck in - should have been the one from post above lol

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