FabSwingers.com forum: Why are winks perceived as lazy or unimaginative?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m not lazy, illiterate or unimaginative however I find winks are perceived this way.

The reason for the post is to understand why because when I send a wink there is something which may not result in conversation or a meet such as distance but the wink shows my interest, so the recipient of the wink, if everything lined up, could see this and wink back sparking conversation.

Or am I completely wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s very well put but personally if i’m busy i may not respond, depending on whether the guy is too far away, cannot accomodate or just isn’t for me. No intention of being rude.

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By *um2me123Man
over a year ago

burin

I agree....a lot of times we look at profiles, like what we see, and just want to wink just to show appreciation. I would consider a wink a compliment to be honest it may be distance, it may be circumstance. Not too many reply to em though which i think they might be overlooking a person that might just be fun.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Cuz some on here just want to moan and be negative

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s very well put but personally if i’m busy i may not respond, depending on whether the guy is too far away, cannot accomodate or just isn’t for me. No intention of being rude. "

Understandable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree....a lot of times we look at profiles, like what we see, and just want to wink just to show appreciation. I would consider a wink a compliment to be honest it may be distance, it may be circumstance. Not too many reply to em though which i think they might be overlooking a person that might just be fun."

Agreed again, but it’s a big sea out there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Yeah and unlike some, so I hear, I don’t get pissy or rude with rejection

not everyone suits everyone else and that’s ok haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cuz some on here just want to moan and be negative

Yup noticed that too

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By *he force is strongeCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun.

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By *is_a_visMan
over a year ago

Cambridge/ London but often Herts/ East Anglia

Why should they be the person to put the effort in, read a profile and write a thoughtful and relevent message if you are not willing to do so yourself.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun."
100%. This is exactly how I use the wink option. And I have had meets that started with a wink.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun."

Precisely

just wanted some feedback thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why should they be the person to put the effort in, read a profile and write a thoughtful and relevent message if you are not willing to do so yourself."

I do write thoughtful messages when I’m within required distance, match other persons likes, see myself in what is requested but when I don’t I wink to show an interest, I’m not lazy haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun.100%. This is exactly how I use the wink option. And I have had meets that started with a wink. "

This is good to know, thanks

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By *heHungStudentMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Yh if i get a wink or send one its to show interest and then if its mutual either a wink or message bacm

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By *heHungStudentMan
over a year ago

Kettering

*back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yh if i get a wink or send one its to show interest and then if its mutual either a wink or message bacm"

Exactly

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By *is_a_visMan
over a year ago

Cambridge/ London but often Herts/ East Anglia

"I’m not lazy, illiterate or unimaginative however I find winks are perceived this way.

Or am I completely wrong?

I think the point here is that they ARE perceived differently and whilst you and others in the thread may not, many people do consider them to be lazy and unimaginative. But that is their decision. The easy solution so as not to be misintrepreted is not to use them if you hope for a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Perfect answer

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun.100%. This is exactly how I use the wink option. And I have had meets that started with a wink.

This is good to know, thanks

"
Yes but I read the profile first. Blank winking is not it should be done in my opinion.

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Yes I agree with this.

Very rare I send a wink, but when I do, I see it as a first step without putting any pressure on the 'winkee'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m not lazy, illiterate or unimaginative however I find winks are perceived this way.

Or am I completely wrong?

Nah I’ll continue winking thanks, who knows it could lead to more.

Which is why it’s amazing each soul is different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Yes I agree with this.

Very rare I send a wink, but when I do, I see it as a first step without putting any pressure on the 'winkee'."

Agreed and I don’t blind wink or cast winks in all directions hoping for a bite, it’s selective

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple
over a year ago

North West

I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun.100%. This is exactly how I use the wink option. And I have had meets that started with a wink.

This is good to know, thanks

Yes but I read the profile first. Blank winking is not it should be done in my opinion. "

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By *exualNeeds69Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick

We use a wink to say we are interested. Kind of an ice breaker or an initial contact. We wait and see if a follow up wink is there before we write a message (as we write the messages together).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a cheeky wink in the real world..so see it as an invitation....and even better if you are returning one or vice versa

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook? "

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"Cuz some on here just want to moan and be negative

Yup noticed that too

Now you’ve agreed with me, get ready to be blocked or ignored

same result as sending a wink

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By *lthomasMan
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I love a cheeky wink in the real world..so see it as an invitation....and even better if you are returning one or vice versa"
exactly this.

I use them to either show. I only wink people that fit the criteria I'm looking for, or if I fit there's.

I use fab on pics to show appreciation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We use a wink to say we are interested. Kind of an ice breaker or an initial contact. We wait and see if a follow up wink is there before we write a message (as we write the messages together). "

Perfik and my point exactly, if the wink isn’t reciprocated or a message received it’s a simple “no ta”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love a cheeky wink in the real world..so see it as an invitation....and even better if you are returning one or vice versa"

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cuz some on here just want to moan and be negative

Yup noticed that too

Now you’ve agreed with me, get ready to be blocked or ignored

same result as sending a wink

Meh, I have tequila all is well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love a cheeky wink in the real world..so see it as an invitation....and even better if you are returning one or vice versaexactly this.

I use them to either show. I only wink people that fit the criteria I'm looking for, or if I fit there's.

I use fab on pics to show appreciation.

Same here thanks

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By *ont you just loveCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

I use a wink if i see a guy i like and he cant message us, so it opens up a dialogue if they are interested, and wink back or message.

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By *reatformeatWoman
over a year ago

my own bubble

Must confess I never look at winks at all just mass delete them would sooner have a well typed introduction

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use a wink if i see a guy i like and he cant message us, so it opens up a dialogue if they are interested, and wink back or message. "

Precisely, an easy ice breaker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must confess I never look at winks at all just mass delete them would sooner have a well typed introduction

I get and totally understand that and I personally would message you rather than wink

but I’m just saying it’s sometimes simpler to wink just to ascertain if there’s any interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

I havnt got a problem with winks, most of the time anyway, and after seeing the hard time some guys get here I do understand why alot tend to use them. Saying that I dont really check them much either, the times I do, I will always check a profile out before i decide if I wink back or not. I find the trouble with winks tho is alot of the time someone has just seen a pic, maybe looked at others and just semt one without even reading your profile as if/when I check out theirs it is clear they are not what I'm looking for.

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By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

In my experience it is ineffective.

I guess couples and single females already receive substantial amounts of messages and very unlikely will check winks.

The odds on this site for single men are similar to winning the lottery, therefore most couples and females will not be checking winks due to the high numbers.

I receive on average 5 winks a week, rarely get a return when a wink is sent back or followed by a message.

So for a long time I socialise and play in clubs and only use the site to contact couples and females I met in clubs.

Hopefully clubs will exist after this pandemic nightmare!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never understand why people get so wound up about winks.

They’re a bit of lighthearted fun and should be treated as such.

I have seen it stated on profiles that they will block anyone who winks at them. Seriously? It’s a wink not a proposal. Lighten up.

Miss V

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i mass delete them every time i log in ..why ?? ..because i do .. that then leaves me time to sort the messages i have and reply to those whom i want too and block those that i dont

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?"

No response, and that goes for very thoughtful messages to women who I believe I could match with haha, crazy place this is

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By *usciouslips201Couple
over a year ago

North Wales

We wink to show we're interested. If we receive a wink back then we will take it as reciprocated interest and will message to establish if there's any connection.

When we have returned a wink we so often get no further response from the 'winker', even if we follow it up with a short message!

Hard to guess who uses the wink system for which purpose!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I havnt got a problem with winks, most of the time anyway, and after seeing the hard time some guys get here I do understand why alot tend to use them. Saying that I dont really check them much either, the times I do, I will always check a profile out before i decide if I wink back or not. I find the trouble with winks tho is alot of the time someone has just seen a pic, maybe looked at others and just semt one without even reading your profile as if/when I check out theirs it is clear they are not what I'm looking for. "

Totally understandable but as a previous reply of mine said, I genuinely read the profiles and statuses of all I message and decide to wink at haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?

No response, and that goes for very thoughtful messages to women who I believe I could match with haha, crazy place this is

I'd think if the wink is meant as a show of appreciation, you wouldn't expect a reply. If it's to prompt a response, profiles who work the same way will wink or message back. People have lots of different ways of communicating on here, we have specifics on our profile to save anyone wasting their time. Still gets ignored around 30 times a day!

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By *r GLTMan
over a year ago

Richmond Upon Thames

"We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun

-----------------------------------------

I fully agree with the above responses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In my experience it is ineffective.

I guess couples and single females already receive substantial amounts of messages and very unlikely will check winks.

The odds on this site for single men are similar to winning the lottery, therefore most couples and females will not be checking winks due to the high numbers.

I receive on average 5 winks a week, rarely get a return when a wink is sent back or followed by a message.

So for a long time I socialise and play in clubs and only use the site to contact couples and females I met in clubs.

Hopefully clubs will exist after this pandemic nightmare!!!"

Ahhh I see but lol at the odds, which are seeming correct, but I too intend on visiting a few clubs when able too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never understand why people get so wound up about winks.

They’re a bit of lighthearted fun and should be treated as such.

I have seen it stated on profiles that they will block anyone who winks at them. Seriously? It’s a wink not a proposal. Lighten up.

Miss V

Lmao, exactly x too many people with a not so lighter look on life I guess haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i mass delete them every time i log in ..why ?? ..because i do .. that then leaves me time to sort the messages i have and reply to those whom i want too and block those that i dont"

Wow ok, that’s really useful to know thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We wink to show we're interested. If we receive a wink back then we will take it as reciprocated interest and will message to establish if there's any connection.

When we have returned a wink we so often get no further response from the 'winker', even if we follow it up with a short message!

Hard to guess who uses the wink system for which purpose!

Haha the winker, but yeah it’s really hard to judge but I gues we just keep going and learn x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?

No response, and that goes for very thoughtful messages to women who I believe I could match with haha, crazy place this is

Makes sense, but I must say the reply’s I have had and the feedback here give me a more positive outlook to just keep doing what I’m doing, it’s not going to please everyone but those that it does is a good thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""We like the wink system as you can spend alot of time writing messages with no response,

A wink and a wink back is just a way of saying hi and can lead to some great messages and lots of fun

-----------------------------------------

I fully agree with the above responses

Thanks, I’ll continue as I do and who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?

No response, and that goes for very thoughtful messages to women who I believe I could match with haha, crazy place this is

Exactly, people on the same page will respond, people who don't are filtered out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use winks all the time. Much for all the reasons above!

I never understood why some of the profiles on here say “don’t wink” or “wink us and get blocked”

Is it not like “liking” a picture on facebook?

Totally but each to their own lol

I also find some profiles filled with more dislikes than likes and question how is any guy/girl supposed to fit

What is the highest proportion response you receive to winks? A wink back, an email, no response or blocking?

No response, and that goes for very thoughtful messages to women who I believe I could match with haha, crazy place this is

Exactly, people on the same page will respond, people who don't are filtered out!"

Roll on end of rona haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i see winks as a complete waste of time in my opinion but how others use them is up to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i see winks as a complete waste of time in my opinion but how others use them is up to them

"
thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also how men see winks has to be different to women men get very few messages most women get loads there fore just dont get the time for winks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"also how men see winks has to be different to women men get very few messages most women get loads there fore just dont get the time for winks"

Agreed but perception and likes are different for all which is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd rather have a wink than a message to begin with. In fact, we'd love the site to have an option to only enable messaging when both parties have exchanged winks. We reckon this would massively improve the general quality of profiles and greatly reduce the 'wanna fuck' messages. Anyway, one can dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the wink does is highlight the profile of the winker to the winked. The motivation for it is known only to the person who sent it, and how the receiver view winks or responds to winks varies. If someone winks or messages back maybe it means they have a similar communication style. Maybe it doesn't.

My opinion is that people mirror or match communications so if you want a wink send a wink, or if you want an email back send an email...but in all contact make a reasonable effort based on your level of interest. And don't expect anything at all so it's a nice surprise when it happens.

Tabitha x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We'd rather have a wink than a message to begin with. In fact, we'd love the site to have an option to only enable messaging when both parties have exchanged winks. We reckon this would massively improve the general quality of profiles and greatly reduce the 'wanna fuck' messages. Anyway, one can dream

That would be a great option and save the stress

onto a winner there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the wink does is highlight the profile of the winker to the winked. The motivation for it is known only to the person who sent it, and how the receiver view winks or responds to winks varies. If someone winks or messages back maybe it means they have a similar communication style. Maybe it doesn't.

Tabitha x"

Thanks Tabitha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would be a great option and save the stress

onto a winner there

Thank you. Admin don't agree though as we've raised it a couple of times over the last decade and never got any interest

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat."

Is it possible that number of replies is linked to detail and 22 cock pics out of 23 on a profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

Is it possible that number of replies is linked to detail and 22 cock pics out of 23 on a profile?"

All joking aside, people all have different criteria for how they respond. If people don't reply/wink back etc, whatever the reason, it's just not meant to happen!

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

The point being I may have composed a message which seems to tick the boxes for the person I sent to they could have at least said no thanks.For all you know I might be sending messages to someone who says " I'd like to see 22 out of 23 dick pics "Hence I just send a wink.If someone has phone sex in their likes I think its perfectly acceptable to send them a message regardless of what pics I have.As my profile states face pic is available.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

This is what I understood a wink to be totally, I mean I can write messages of length no problem but what's the point without a mutual wink, wastes the time of you and the recipient.

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

Exactly the way I perceive it . That's the way I see it.Hey I'm interested,shall we start the ball rolling ?.Instead of a lengthy message which is ignored . I've read a lot of people bragging about deleting loads of unread messages basically because they can't be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The point being I may have composed a message which seems to tick the boxes for the person I sent to they could have at least said no thanks.For all you know I might be sending messages to someone who says " I'd like to see 22 out of 23 dick pics "Hence I just send a wink.If someone has phone sex in their likes I think its perfectly acceptable to send them a message regardless of what pics I have.As my profile states face pic is available."

The point I'm making is, as we all want different things, responses are just filtering who matches. If people don't respond, they're not for you. If they do, then they might be. There is no rule to govern how or in fact if people communicate with each other at all.

There are 100s of threads with similar themes in the forum's. The common thread is if you're not bothered by people's responses, you're fine. Do whatever you like, however you like, but accept that others will do the same

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

You're missing the point.The OP was about is a wink seen at being lazy.My response being No.My reason being it saves writing out a long winded message to receive no response.So if I send a wink hopefully they check me out.If they don't like me fine.But to write a long message and they don't even check you out then why bother.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat."

Agreed which is why I wanted to get a feel for opinions

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

Is it possible that number of replies is linked to detail and 22 cock pics out of 23 on a profile?

All joking aside, people all have different criteria for how they respond. If people don't reply/wink back etc, whatever the reason, it's just not meant to happen! "

Understood and I definitely don’t have cock pics visible and don’t send in messages unless requested

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By *iss KissWoman
over a year ago

near Coventry

I am a complete winker!!!.

Winks are like the smile you flash at a stranger when you're out. If they smile back, you may go over and start a conversation. That's all a wink is. I think anyone who won't entertain them in the slightest. Frankly. They think a lot of themselves. Tends to be women. Princess springs to mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve sent very thoughtful and composed messages, based on profile and statuses and had no reply or deleted which is fine, but like you a no thanks or something along those lines goes a long way and I know where I stand

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

This is what I understood a wink to be totally, I mean I can write messages of length no problem but what's the point without a mutual wink, wastes the time of you and the recipient. "

Totally

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I like the wink system. It shows me someone is interested and when i wink back i expect they will send me a message. Usually these messages go beyond how you doing as they now know they have a mutual match.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not everyone likes everyone else I guess, and I’m not affected just curious

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By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area

We tend to wink couples more if their profile is sparce (assuming their profile doesn't have a no wink policy). But if we get a wink back follow up with a message fairly soon after.

If someone is offended or just deletes *shrugs* just move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am a complete winker!!!.

Hehe agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like the wink system. It shows me someone is interested and when i wink back i expect they will send me a message. Usually these messages go beyond how you doing as they now know they have a mutual match."

My point exactly, if the wink is returned then each of you understands there is something liked by both parties

thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We tend to wink couples more if their profile is sparce (assuming their profile doesn't have a no wink policy). But if we get a wink back follow up with a message fairly soon after.

If someone is offended or just deletes *shrugs* just move on."

I agree, I don’t take offence to a unreturned wink, but when I compose a decent message and deleted or not responded to I do ask myself “what’s the point”

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

Actually at first I thought I was taking the easy way out with a wink but as I've said previously experience has told me it's probably the best option.Its not sour grapes that I haven't had a response.Its the not even checking your profile after you've written a message that has changed my mind.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I love the wink feature. I always check my winks, but mostly I have message filters on. This means if I like the look of a single male’s profile, I can send a wink which then removes the filter and they can wink or message back if they’re interested.

I think more people should put a bit of effort into their profile rather than an initial message. I really hate it when I receive a long ish message, I then check their profile and it just says “will fill in later” or other such dross.

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By *is_a_visMan
over a year ago

Cambridge/ London but often Herts/ East Anglia

Ultimately everyone uses them in different ways, some check them, some ignore them, some will return them and some will wander why they just didn't receive a thoughtful message.

Winks as a way of enabling someone to message you that would normally not be able to, is a very valid use case for those people.

Anybody that only uses them because they feel let down not to get replies when they do send something (not the OP) needs to remember that sending a message does not entitle them the privilege of receiving one back - especially during a pandemic when a lot of people just can't be bothered to engage with new folk cos little can be done with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat."

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I've had some great meets off the back of winks.

They work for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Actually at first I thought I was taking the easy way out with a wink but as I've said previously experience has told me it's probably the best option.Its not sour grapes that I haven't had a response.Its the not even checking your profile after you've written a message that has changed my mind."

Annoying isn’t it, oh well onwards and upwards haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love the wink feature. I always check my winks, but mostly I have message filters on. This means if I like the look of a single male’s profile, I can send a wink which then removes the filter and they can wink or message back if they’re interested.

Agreed and profiles should be short enough to describe but not so long you fall asleep haha

Glad you appreciate the wink though

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By *um2me123Man
over a year ago

burin

Hmmm think i have a better understanding of it all....as a male, not sure i get to many winks or messages compared to the women on here....although i will read the profile before sending a wink or a message...very difficult to gage whats proper. All i know is that if im attracted...the profile fits what im looking for...i will still wink...met a nice coiple for a coffee meet before covid all because of a wink....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ultimately everyone uses them in different ways, some check them, some ignore them, some will return them and some will wander why they just didn't receive a thoughtful message.

Winks as a way of enabling someone to message you that would normally not be able to, is a very valid use case for those people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had some great meets off the back of winks.

They work for me

And I am glad of you and many others like you xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmmm think i have a better understanding of it all....as a male, not sure i get to many winks or messages compared to the women on here....although i will read the profile before sending a wink or a message...very difficult to gage whats proper. All i know is that if im attracted...the profile fits what im looking for...i will still wink...met a nice coiple for a coffee meet before covid all because of a wink...."

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

You're kidding!That's not a "thing " is it?Well if it is my whole argument is based on nonsense.

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

"You're kidding!That's not a "thing " is it?Well if it is my whole argument is based on nonsense.

This should have been attached to the STEALTH MODE comment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're kidding!That's not a "thing " is it?Well if it is my whole argument is based on nonsense.

This should have been attached to the STEALTH MODE comment"

I know right

deception is at play haha

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

"You're kidding!That's not a "thing " is it?Well if it is my whole argument is based on nonsense.

This should have been attached to the STEALTH MODE comment

I know right

deception is at play haha"

The plot thickens indeed.Anyway apologies to anyone offended by my dick pic profile pic which keeps popping up here.But feel free to browse my profile heh heh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

Yup

most woman use this as it stop the "I saw you looked at me so..." type messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're kidding!That's not a "thing " is it?Well if it is my whole argument is based on nonsense.

Yep... Women check out all forms of filtering when they join

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

Yup

most woman use this as it stop the "I saw you looked at me so..." type messages

Ahhhh sneaky but wise xx

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

Yup

most woman use this as it stop the "I saw you looked at me so..." type messages

Well then I apologise to anyone who actually DID look at my profile and just thought I was an arsehole.Still,they could have still replied with a F*** Off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

Yup

most woman use this as it stop the "I saw you looked at me so..." type messages

Well then I apologise to anyone who actually DID look at my profile and just thought I was an arsehole.Still,they could have still replied with a F*** Off.

Lmao haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use it (and see it as) a way to compliment someone especially when it’s unlikely you are going to meet for whatever reason

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By *reigyMan
over a year ago

hamilton

"I usually send wink because taking time to compose a message which is totally ignored irks me.To send a message and then no one even checks you out gets on my goat.

We all check out the profile before deciding whether to reply... We just do it in stealth mode

Stealth mode? What

Yup

most woman use this as it stop the "I saw you looked at me so..." type messages

Well then I apologise to anyone who actually DID look at my profile and just thought I was an arsehole.Still,they could have still replied with a F*** Off.

Lmao haha

Top man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use it (and see it as) a way to compliment someone especially when it’s unlikely you are going to meet for whatever reason "

Exactly, then if reciprocated at least you can chat etc x

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

It annoys me when some profiles say winks will be blocked, I can spend ages writing a mails to say 5 different profiles only to have them all deleted.

It's really disheartening.

A wink takes seconds and if the other person is interested they wink back then you write the mail

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It annoys me when some profiles say winks will be blocked, I can spend ages writing a mails to say 5 different profiles only to have them all deleted.

It's really disheartening.

A wink takes seconds and if the other person is interested they wink back then you write the mail"

Exactly, but as I’ve learned, more, tonight it’s just the way of FAB

and keep going as someone will reply or wink back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Agreed

Hey you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree. It is saying, "having read your profile, I may not be your normal cup of tea but I think you are great. Have a look at my profile and see if you would like to chat. No worries if not. X"

Agreed

Hey you xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dont mind it shows an interest xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We dont mind it shows an interest xx"

It does doesn’t it, but perceived different by many which is cool I guess

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By *inranWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I never check my winks just delete them. I also don't use looked at you or see who fabbed my pics.

I only use the message system and sometimes the forum.

I don't think they are the things you listed. But I would rather put the time into those I am talking to. It's just a time thing.

Lack of response to a wink therefore doesn't mean I don't like you or I'm not interested I will not have been made aware of you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never check my winks just delete them. I also don't use looked at you or see who fabbed my pics.

I only use the message system and sometimes the forum.

I don't think they are the things you listed. But I would rather put the time into those I am talking to. It's just a time thing.

Lack of response to a wink therefore doesn't mean I don't like you or I'm not interested I will not have been made aware of you. "

That is fair enough and very insightful thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because imagination and connection is vital. Winks provide neither.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because imagination and connection is vital. Winks provide neither. "

But they show a liking, so a returned wink, to me, would encourage me that there’s some interest at which point I would compile a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am ok with a wink if they have face pics on their profile... Otherwise they are pointless tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha cheeky!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Haha cheeky!

That I am

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We'd much rather receive a wink than a shit message, and most messages we receive are total shit.

We just take winks as a polite compliment, and I guess that's how they are meant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We'd much rather receive a wink than a shit message, and most messages we receive are total shit.

We just take winks as a polite compliment, and I guess that's how they are meant. "

That’s definitely how I intend them

thank you

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"I use it (and see it as) a way to compliment someone especially when it’s unlikely you are going to meet for whatever reason

Exactly, then if reciprocated at least you can chat etc x"

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire

I only read halfway down and the 3 women that replied all said they don't even check them, which is what I was going to say.

Women don't check winks!, they are to busy dealing with the 50+ messages an hour!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhh cr*p, just discovered this forum... i think i've been using the site wrong -.-

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