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Am I Being Unreasonable?

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There

Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

What’s up Doc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s up Doc? "

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

It’s annoying to be fair and would be an instant delete from me! He would have been better to enquire about your interests first but I’m definitely giving him too much credit to think!

Plus I wouldn’t be impressed unless it was a courgette

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By *traightrimmerMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Maybe he was out fir a naked walk and fell over a snowman

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By *vycpleCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

I really get annoyed at people who don't read profiles. We spend ages reading then before we wink or message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s up Doc? "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overthinking my dear. Just block, delete and move on.

I thought chickens had it bad. Poor carrot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s not for you hun ....I’d just say no thanks then block him and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

It's one that is best to just ignore and block. Or politely decline then block. Each to their own.

I believe I've received this exact same graphic. There are a few doing the rounds at present. Haven't worked out if it is for shock value hoping for a response or just the effect of solitude and the veggie tray in the fridge.

I guess they could be doing much worse. Hopefully they will find their perfect carrot muncher and have their very own fab connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have been pissed off by plenty of people on here like you say they think it’s fine to just assume you would be up for anything because your on a swingers site.

Had a guy once ask if he could bring his dog too and he wasn’t just taking it for a walk

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By *izzie and VictorCouple
over a year ago

worcestershire

Someone trying their luck is one thing but sending pics of something rather niche and graphic that someone might not want to see is a bit much I’d say so I can see where you’re coming from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ur not being unreasonable at all some people don’t want to see serton things

And for shour serton things shouldn’t be put in a first message

Just block and movie on

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

The great thing anout Fab is that you can interact with all sorts of people, each with their own sexual predilections. The bad thing about Fab is that you're left open to all sorts of people, each with their own sexual predilections, and if those predilictions don't tally with your own you can feel interested, disgusted, insulted or even angry. Don't worry about your response any more than the person worried about what he sent you. Just put it down to experience, block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. He’s a twat. And carrots are pretty amateur. If he was committed he’d go big or go home...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s nasty ... poor carrot

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago

This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me. "

Didn’t have a carrot did he ?

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

£100 and a courgette and I’m game

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

I'm of a mind that you shouldn't have to put up with anything unsolicited in your inbox from people you don't know, apart from polite, courteous introductions. If a rapport is built from that and it leads to... well whatever, including vegetable-related kinks and fantasies, then that's fine.

But right out of the gate? With zero indication or solicitation? Nah, common courtesy should still be in effect. Yes even on a 'sex site.' So yes, you have every right to take offense and be annoyed, in my opinion.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me.

Didn’t have a carrot did he ? "

Buggs Bunny strikes again

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Someone trying their luck is one thing but sending pics of something rather niche and graphic that someone might not want to see is a bit much I’d say so I can see where you’re coming from."

Thanks. I’ve been on here for a few years and so, like everyone else, have had loads of messages from folk that don’t float my boat. I just delete or block as appropriate. But this was something else. Really unpleasant (to me) message about vomit and eating shit. Awful.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I wouldn’t let it bother you enough to be annoyed about it.

Just delete and block, to me if it’s legal, no biggie. Who cares xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"£100 and a courgette and I’m game "

Can we negotiate on a carrot ?

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Have been pissed off by plenty of people on here like you say they think it’s fine to just assume you would be up for anything because your on a swingers site.

Had a guy once ask if he could bring his dog too and he wasn’t just taking it for a walk "

Oh nice. I’ve had all sorts of requests, never that one though.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses


"£100 and a courgette and I’m game

Can we negotiate on a carrot ? "

Cucumber then?

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

No point in dwelling over it.

Delete, block, next...

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago


"This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me.

Didn’t have a carrot did he ? "

Not that I know of. It was a cineworld car park mind. He could’ve at least offered me a shit movie and popcorn first.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"Someone trying their luck is one thing but sending pics of something rather niche and graphic that someone might not want to see is a bit much I’d say so I can see where you’re coming from.

Thanks. I’ve been on here for a few years and so, like everyone else, have had loads of messages from folk that don’t float my boat. I just delete or block as appropriate. But this was something else. Really unpleasant (to me) message about vomit and eating shit. Awful. "

It’s a shame but you cannot stop idiots joining so best just ignore i think

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I'm of a mind that you shouldn't have to put up with anything unsolicited in your inbox from people you don't know, apart from polite, courteous introductions. If a rapport is built from that and it leads to... well whatever, including vegetable-related kinks and fantasies, then that's fine.

But right out of the gate? With zero indication or solicitation? Nah, common courtesy should still be in effect. Yes even on a 'sex site.' So yes, you have every right to take offense and be annoyed, in my opinion."

I’m of the same mind as you. Anything between consenting adults is fine, but you have to find out if you’re on the same page first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone trying their luck is one thing but sending pics of something rather niche and graphic that someone might not want to see is a bit much I’d say so I can see where you’re coming from.

Thanks. I’ve been on here for a few years and so, like everyone else, have had loads of messages from folk that don’t float my boat. I just delete or block as appropriate. But this was something else. Really unpleasant (to me) message about vomit and eating shit. Awful. "

Yeah they are definitely going for vulgar. Probably find they have cut and pasted it.

You can report and block.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

One of the rules of kink is that you don't involve someone in your kink without their consent. So what he did was wrong and you well within your rights to be annoyed.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think that if we have open inboxes then we are subject to receiving anything that is sent, as unpalatable as we may find the contents. Users should adhere to site rules and laws but there won't be filtering to ensure it happens.

In the real world, most people conform to social rules. On the Internet, they aren't to the same extent.

I'd block similar users from messaging you for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just delete. He's clearly not taken the time to read your profile. So don't waste any time giving him head space. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

I've had several faceless messages this evening from guys telling me what they expect me to do to them/for them . I'm convinced that some say the most obscure things purely to get a reaction/attention. I've always found it incredibly disrespectful. Mind you, a fair few find me to be rude for not replying.

Your profile, your rules. I don't think you're at all unreasonable for feeling the way you do. Try and focus on the lovely messages you get from people who have taken the time to read your profile. X

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me.

Didn’t have a carrot did he ?

Not that I know of. It was a cineworld car park mind. He could’ve at least offered me a shit movie and popcorn first. "

£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me.

It's one that is best to just ignore and block. Or politely decline then block. Each to their own.

I believe I've received this exact same graphic. There are a few doing the rounds at present. Haven't worked out if it is for shock value hoping for a response or just the effect of solitude and the veggie tray in the fridge.

I guess they could be doing much worse. Hopefully they will find their perfect carrot muncher and have their very own fab connection. "

I’m sure this person has just been firing the message out. He can’t have selected me thinking I would like it, so it’s probably at random. Which I think is a bit awful tbh. Definitely that kind of thing needs prior approval.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses


"This place is definitely getting more and more interesting.

Had an offer of £150 today to meet some guy and let him blow me in a public car park. I politely declined and then got multiple messages after begging me.

Didn’t have a carrot did he ?

Not that I know of. It was a cineworld car park mind. He could’ve at least offered me a shit movie and popcorn first. "

Plus limitless membership. Don’t sell yourself short!

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

It's annoyong.

I'd just delete and then block.

Clearly he doesn't care what you want from the site so why should you care what he wants.

Next week he'll probably open a thread asking why he gets no replies

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock "

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys.

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london

Yes out of order block him

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I'd just delete. He's clearly not taken the time to read your profile. So don't waste any time giving him head space. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

I've had several faceless messages this evening from guys telling me what they expect me to do to them/for them . I'm convinced that some say the most obscure things purely to get a reaction/attention. I've always found it incredibly disrespectful. Mind you, a fair few find me to be rude for not replying.

Your profile, your rules. I don't think you're at all unreasonable for feeling the way you do. Try and focus on the lovely messages you get from people who have taken the time to read your profile. X"

Thank you. I’ll be opening my messages with one eye closed from on, just in case!

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Yes out of order block him"

Oh I did. Not before I told him where to go and that it was outrageous that he thought it was ok to send a message like that in the first place.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"It's annoyong.

I'd just delete and then block.

Clearly he doesn't care what you want from the site so why should you care what he wants.

Next week he'll probably open a thread asking why he gets no replies "

Ha ha. Yes you’re probably right

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By *atchfordbiMan
over a year ago

Warrington


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

Mo, your perfectly right in your way of thinking, there are lots of crass people on these sites, and randomly sending an image like that is well out of order, especially when it's unsolicited by you, report him to the site "police" once reported block him

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I think that if we have open inboxes then we are subject to receiving anything that is sent, as unpalatable as we may find the contents. Users should adhere to site rules and laws but there won't be filtering to ensure it happens.

In the real world, most people conform to social rules. On the Internet, they aren't to the same extent.

I'd block similar users from messaging you for a while. "

I think I’ve grown to accept that I’ll get all kinds of messages and pictures of peoples bits in my inbox, it seems to go with the territory of being ok here unfortunately. But for me this was way over the line for a stranger.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters


"I’m of the same mind as you. Anything between consenting adults is fine, but you have to find out if you’re on the same page first."

Yep. As others have said he's probably just firing the same messages out to dozens and dozens of profiles, but he's not getting their consent to be exposed to his kink/fantasy. He may not even care about getting responses and just sending it out is what gets him his jollies. In either case it speaks to a massive disrespectful character/attitude. Delete, block and forget is about all you can do, unfortunately.

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By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

Seems like the usual things the girls have inflicted on them all the time?(lack of reading the profile and probably send out dozens of messages a day in the hope someone may respond?)

Delete and ignore and if they persist block?

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By *ndrew.ardvark2014Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Single carrot - without 2 sprouts

Well after Xmas Day.

Block him!

Hope better luck by New Year!

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There

I see all sorts on here that I don’t want to, I’m sure we all do. I’m sure that there are people who have my pictures show up in their local updates and wish I’d not bothered. I think it’s all part and parcel of being on here. Naked bodies and sex pics, fine. Messages suggesting sex, fine. But that kind of pic and a message about vomit and eating shit, not fine. At all. Not without an indication.

Thanks for all your replies. Nice to know it’s not just me that thinks it was over the line.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me.

Seems like the usual things the girls have inflicted on them all the time?(lack of reading the profile and probably send out dozens of messages a day in the hope someone may respond?)

Delete and ignore and if they persist block? "

This was non-standard, even by the standards of your normal copy paste, generic message sender.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"I see all sorts on here that I don’t want to, I’m sure we all do. I’m sure that there are people who have my pictures show up in their local updates and wish I’d not bothered. I think it’s all part and parcel of being on here. Naked bodies and sex pics, fine. Messages suggesting sex, fine. But that kind of pic and a message about vomit and eating shit, not fine. At all. Not without an indication.

Thanks for all your replies. Nice to know it’s not just me that thinks it was over the line. "

No totally wrong but you just never know who

Pops up on here sadly

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I see all sorts on here that I don’t want to, I’m sure we all do. I’m sure that there are people who have my pictures show up in their local updates and wish I’d not bothered. I think it’s all part and parcel of being on here. Naked bodies and sex pics, fine. Messages suggesting sex, fine. But that kind of pic and a message about vomit and eating shit, not fine. At all. Not without an indication.

Thanks for all your replies. Nice to know it’s not just me that thinks it was over the line.

No totally wrong but you just never know who

Pops up on here sadly "

I’ve just turned my messages off. I’d rather hear from no one at all than get another one of those.

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

I'm sure some of these vulgar posts are technically fake & are sent for shock value alone to provoke a reaction. It's not nice to be on the receiving end. Every time I go on cam in chat I get the same guy pop up in PM asking "wanna see me cum?" & it's really getting annoying but they must be a gold supporter cos they are never actually in the chat room.

The above said, this thread made me laugh like I haven't done in ages, apologies to you OP but your writing style & description of events is highly amusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys. "

Not even if they pack carrots ?

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys.

Not even if they pack carrots ? "

More of a parsnip kinda guy.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys.

Not even if they pack carrots ?

More of a parsnip kinda guy."

Aubergine? £200

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I'm sure some of these vulgar posts are technically fake & are sent for shock value alone to provoke a reaction. It's not nice to be on the receiving end. Every time I go on cam in chat I get the same guy pop up in PM asking "wanna see me cum?" & it's really getting annoying but they must be a gold supporter cos they are never actually in the chat room.

The above said, this thread made me laugh like I haven't done in ages, apologies to you OP but your writing style & description of events is highly amusing. "

I think this guy must get off on knowing that he’s repulsed people, this would be his tactic if not.

I’m glad it made you laugh I feel much better having talked it out so I’m happy that it brightened your day.

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys.

Not even if they pack carrots ?

More of a parsnip kinda guy.

Aubergine? £200"

Might have found my new money making niche.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"It’s annoying to be fair and would be an instant delete from me! He would have been better to enquire about your interests first but I’m definitely giving him too much credit to think!

Plus I wouldn’t be impressed unless it was a courgette "

This explains why you're always found in the fruit and veg aisle I guess. Think I better swerve whichever supermarket you frequent.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"I'm sure some of these vulgar posts are technically fake & are sent for shock value alone to provoke a reaction. It's not nice to be on the receiving end. Every time I go on cam in chat I get the same guy pop up in PM asking "wanna see me cum?" & it's really getting annoying but they must be a gold supporter cos they are never actually in the chat room.

The above said, this thread made me laugh like I haven't done in ages, apologies to you OP but your writing style & description of events is highly amusing.

I think this guy must get off on knowing that he’s repulsed people, this would be his tactic if not.

I’m glad it made you laugh I feel much better having talked it out so I’m happy that it brightened your day."

Best ignore ‘crap’ unless it ‘floats your boat’

Simples xx

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

What a lot of cock pics...

Not one profile reader!

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"What a lot of cock pics...

Not one profile reader!"

?

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By *eegh0stsMan
over a year ago


"What a lot of cock pics...

Not one profile reader!"

What selection of veg was accompanying these pictures? How many are using the left over 19p Aldi Christmas special buys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"£150 plus popcorn & a movie... expensive cock

Best thing is, I’m not even into guys.

Not even if they pack carrots ?

More of a parsnip kinda guy.

Aubergine? £200

Might have found my new money making niche. "

Thanks for the smiles lads .. good to see the flow going !

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london


"Yes out of order block him

Oh I did. Not before I told him where to go and that it was outrageous that he thought it was ok to send a message like that in the first place. "

Good

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Just a dickhead who's sent the message to lots of other people, even I get lots like them. Either just delete or even block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The great thing anout Fab is that you can interact with all sorts of people, each with their own sexual predilections. The bad thing about Fab is that you're left open to all sorts of people, each with their own sexual predilections, and if those predilictions don't tally with your own you can feel interested, disgusted, insulted or even angry. Don't worry about your response any more than the person worried about what he sent you. Just put it down to experience, block and move on. "

Exactly.

Why drink another’s poison?

Smile at the absurdity of it (in your opinion) and move on.

No biggy.

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By *etsplay68Man
over a year ago

beaconsfield

bloody vegans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Overthinking my dear. Just block, delete and move on. "

I can see why you may feel the way you do OP, but I’d go with the response above.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I just say no thank you to these requests as i know a lot of messages are copy and paste words. Everyone likes different things and if you do not ask you do not get. These messages never upset me.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Block and move on. Don't overthink things.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

Personally I think hou are right to feel annoyed as he did not ask yiu if he could show you the picture and it shows he did not read your profile

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Sending strangers pics like that can be offensive even on a sex site (swingers site). Nobody should be causing people offence. So yeah be offended. But what can you do? Suggest you block and delete and move on. Otherwise you'll just let it fester.

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

Not at all unreasonable, its pretty rude and disrespectful to barge into someone's inbox like that. I imagine he's the kind of guy who gets off on people's responses though. Unfortunately there are a small number of people who think things like manners and courtesy don't apply online. Report and block.

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By *xxsomonMan
over a year ago

rugeley


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

I never think its a good look make or female

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By *allnlongMan
over a year ago

Torpoint & Stonehouse


"Overthinking my dear. Just block, delete and move on."

This

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Sorry that you are upset, but unfortunately it comes with the territory. We all have filters at our disposal, and they are there for this specific reason.

If you don't use them, then you can't really be surprised. It's not a social media platform we are on.

Try to move on and don't let it put you off, just secure your profile going forward. x

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Sending strangers pics like that can be offensive even on a sex site (swingers site). Nobody should be causing people offence. So yeah be offended. But what can you do? Suggest you block and delete and move on. Otherwise you'll just let it fester. "

Nothing I can do about it other than block and report him and turn off my messages, which I’ve done. But I feel better for being able to chat it through last night. It really crossed the line for me and being reassured that it’s not just me that thinks it’s unreasonable helped.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Sorry that you are upset, but unfortunately it comes with the territory. We all have filters at our disposal, and they are there for this specific reason.

If you don't use them, then you can't really be surprised. It's not a social media platform we are on.

Try to move on and don't let it put you off, just secure your profile going forward. x"

What filter should I have used to prevent it? The only thing I can see is to turn my messages off completely, which I’ve now done. But I don’t think it’s a reasonable thing to have to do. I think we all should be able to have our inbox open for contact without worrying that someone is going to send you images and graphic text about niche fet stuff when your profile doesn’t suggest in any way that you’d be open to it. No where on my profile did it say ‘please send me pictures of your arsehole spread open and messages about eating shit and vomit’ in fact it said that I didn’t want to hear from strangers at all.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Sending strangers pics like that can be offensive even on a sex site (swingers site). Nobody should be causing people offence. So yeah be offended. But what can you do? Suggest you block and delete and move on. Otherwise you'll just let it fester.

Nothing I can do about it other than block and report him and turn off my messages, which I’ve done. But I feel better for being able to chat it through last night. It really crossed the line for me and being reassured that it’s not just me that thinks it’s unreasonable helped. "

There *is* nothing else you can do about it other than block and report and protect yourself with filters, but that doesn't make it any the less unreasonable that you feel the way you do/did or any the more acceptable that the person sent what they did - sadly I suspect it was someone getting a kick out of sending something shocking as was suggested upthread, or worse still kids thinking it was funny in a Beavis and Butthead kind of way.

Glad the thread has helped you work past it though

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Not at all unreasonable, its pretty rude and disrespectful to barge into someone's inbox like that. I imagine he's the kind of guy who gets off on people's responses though. Unfortunately there are a small number of people who think things like manners and courtesy don't apply online. Report and block. "

I agree. Forcing someone to participate in your kinks, whether they like it or not is unacceptable to me. I’m actually really surprised at how many people think I should just have said no thanks and moved on If he’d have approached me with a question of whether I’d like him to send me some pictures and asked if I was into the same things as him, then that would get a no thank you. But for him to just fire away without knowing doesn’t warrant a polite response from me I don’t think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a kinkster myself, I find that person's message shameful. These are the ones who create bad name for the kink community. You are completely justified in getting annoyed. But it's hard to do anything other than blocking the person and moving on.

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Well you stated "My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment" so why would you have your filters open for anyone to start a chat with you?

All I'm saying is we ALL have the same options, if you choose not to use them, then unfortunately things like this will happen to you.

I apologise if i sound harsh, but I'm just pointing out the tools at your disposal for the future.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"As a kinkster myself, I find that person's message shameful. These are the ones who create bad name for the kink community. You are completely justified in getting annoyed. But it's hard to do anything other than blocking the person and moving on."

I know there’s not much I can do. I think I was just looking for reassurance that I wasn’t being unreasonable in feeling upset by it. Lots of people have been brilliant in reassuring me that I’m right to feel like this and that he was out of order, which has helped. I’ve been surprised by how many people have replied suggesting it’s no big deal though.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I bet you didn't tick the no carrots up the bum box ... however block and delete...still on the plus side ...he might be a greengrocer

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Well you stated "My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment" so why would you have your filters open for anyone to start a chat with you?

All I'm saying is we ALL have the same options, if you choose not to use them, then unfortunately things like this will happen to you.

I apologise if i sound harsh, but I'm just pointing out the tools at your disposal for the future. "

I’ve updated my profile since last night, but it did say that I wasn’t looking to chat with strangers and that if I don’t know you then I don’t want to hear from you. I’d left my messages open so that any friends I had that hadn’t contacted me previously could get in touch if they wanted to. Ive done it, but I shouldn’t have to turn my messages off to stop people barging their way into my my inbox with stuff like that. A basic level of respect for the other people here should be expected.

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

It makes you wonder if the tactic has ever worked and he has chanced on someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetish?

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"It makes you wonder if the tactic has ever worked and he has chanced on someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetish? "

Ha ha. I wonder. I suspect finding someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetishised who also wants to watch you lick poop off said carrot as you make yourself sick with it is very very niche. But they say there’s someone out there for everyone don’t they!

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I bet you didn't tick the no carrots up the bum box ... however block and delete...still on the plus side ...he might be a greengrocer "

Silly me. My bad. Asking for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that if we have open inboxes then we are subject to receiving anything that is sent, as unpalatable as we may find the contents. Users should adhere to site rules and laws but there won't be filtering to ensure it happens.

In the real world, most people conform to social rules. On the Internet, they aren't to the same extent.

I'd block similar users from messaging you for a while. "

This

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral


"It makes you wonder if the tactic has ever worked and he has chanced on someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetish?

Ha ha. I wonder. I suspect finding someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetishised who also wants to watch you lick poop off said carrot as you make yourself sick with it is very very niche. But they say there’s someone out there for everyone don’t they! "

Probability calculations are clearly not his strong point. Unless he sent the same message to about half a million people.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"It makes you wonder if the tactic has ever worked and he has chanced on someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetish?

Ha ha. I wonder. I suspect finding someone with an unsolicited anal carrot fetishised who also wants to watch you lick poop off said carrot as you make yourself sick with it is very very niche. But they say there’s someone out there for everyone don’t they!

Probability calculations are clearly not his strong point. Unless he sent the same message to about half a million people. "

Entirely possible. I bet his fingers are exhausted from all that copy and pasting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had the same guy PM me 3 times today telling me how fake I am (among other lovely things), because my veris are only webcam, which means I don’t meet, despite there being a lockdown in place.

Ordinarily I don’t mind these, and just delete, but for some reason the fact that he keeps blocking me between sending them has really pushed my buttons.

Anyway, having spoken to hubby Inhave taken a deep breath, reported him, and blocked.

Sometimes we all get sucked in xx

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By *um2me123Man
over a year ago

burin

Well i generally would send a pic or 2 but never graphic...just body shots...let the chat determine what she would like to see...mslovely

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Perhaps he's a wererabbit

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Well i generally would send a pic or 2 but never graphic...just body shots...let the chat determine what she would like to see...mslovely"

That’s the way to do it. You have to get a green light before going all in.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Had the same guy PM me 3 times today telling me how fake I am (among other lovely things), because my veris are only webcam, which means I don’t meet, despite there being a lockdown in place.

Ordinarily I don’t mind these, and just delete, but for some reason the fact that he keeps blocking me between sending them has really pushed my buttons.

Anyway, having spoken to hubby Inhave taken a deep breath, reported him, and blocked.

Sometimes we all get sucked in xx"

I think some people are definitely getting their kicks out of bothering people at the moment. They’re sending inflammatory messages for sport. It’s not ok.

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By *um2me123Man
over a year ago

burin

Miss lovely that goes for many things...green light before going all in....

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We enjoy receiving strange messages like that, even if it's something we're not into.

We find them interesting or out right hilarious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately as an attractive lady you will always get these types of messages occasionally on here nowadays. It’s one of the reason single men get such a bad name. Personally I think if you reply he will get what he wants. Block and move on, you won’t be short of offers from genuine people on here x

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

no you are not out of order getting upset. People should read the profile and look at your pics and get a feel of what you are into. If they carnt they should tone the messages down until they know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many guys never read profiles on here! So annoying. It's also common to get graphical initial messages and I also think it's out of order. Try a polite hello before discussing interests and talking dirty... Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

his ass can see in the dark

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It can be gut churning when you get stuff shoved in your eyes that you've not only not invited, but definitely shown no interest in.

It's like "dude, what the fuck made you think I want that burning my retinas"

Some people are so desperate for any response at all that they'll take any route they can, be it shock factor or abuse.

Block button is your buddy (after a few choice words if you fancy)

Not gonna lie tho, I had tears rolling that it was a carrot.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. no you are not out of order getting upset. People should read the profile and look at your pics and get a feel of what you are into. If they carnt they should tone the messages down until they know"

I agree

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"So many guys never read profiles on here! So annoying. It's also common to get graphical initial messages and I also think it's out of order. Try a polite hello before discussing interests and talking dirty... Xx"

The standard graphic sex messages and cock pics are a cross we have to bear it seems. I find them a bit awful and disrespectful at times too. I’ve turned my messages off, seems the only way.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"It can be gut churning when you get stuff shoved in your eyes that you've not only not invited, but definitely shown no interest in.

It's like "dude, what the fuck made you think I want that burning my retinas"

Some people are so desperate for any response at all that they'll take any route they can, be it shock factor or abuse.

Block button is your buddy (after a few choice words if you fancy)

Not gonna lie tho, I had tears rolling that it was a carrot.

"

He’s blocked. And there were definitely choice words! If he’d just sent the carrot picture and a jokey message I wouldn’t have been offended, I’d have laughed. But the combo of the message and other pics was a bit awful. It’s given a few people a giggle though which is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well you stated "My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment" so why would you have your filters open for anyone to start a chat with you?

All I'm saying is we ALL have the same options, if you choose not to use them, then unfortunately things like this will happen to you.

I apologise if i sound harsh, but I'm just pointing out the tools at your disposal for the future.

I’ve updated my profile since last night, but it did say that I wasn’t looking to chat with strangers and that if I don’t know you then I don’t want to hear from you. I’d left my messages open so that any friends I had that hadn’t contacted me previously could get in touch if they wanted to. Ive done it, but I shouldn’t have to turn my messages off to stop people barging their way into my my inbox with stuff like that. A basic level of respect for the other people here should be expected. "

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Unfortunately there are people on here who seem to get their thrills by sending these types of messages. They also seem to feed off any replies they get so ignoring & blocking is probably the best response.

Sorry you had to experience it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah totally agree, bang out of order. Why he thinks you seeing him in that compromising position, with Xmas Dinner left overs hanging out of him would clinch the deal is beyond me. No wonder men get such a bad rep on here.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Well you stated "My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment" so why would you have your filters open for anyone to start a chat with you?

All I'm saying is we ALL have the same options, if you choose not to use them, then unfortunately things like this will happen to you.

I apologise if i sound harsh, but I'm just pointing out the tools at your disposal for the future.

I’ve updated my profile since last night, but it did say that I wasn’t looking to chat with strangers and that if I don’t know you then I don’t want to hear from you. I’d left my messages open so that any friends I had that hadn’t contacted me previously could get in touch if they wanted to. Ive done it, but I shouldn’t have to turn my messages off to stop people barging their way into my my inbox with stuff like that. A basic level of respect for the other people here should be expected.

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages "

Me too. You either let people message you, or you don’t. I don’t think I was asking for it by having my messages turned on. If there was a filter for people who send awful pics and talk about eating shit and vomit I most definitely would have used it. I think it’s a real shame that some people have taken the attitude that putting up with that is part and parcel of being on Fab. It really shouldn’t be.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Unfortunately there are people on here who seem to get their thrills by sending these types of messages. They also seem to feed off any replies they get so ignoring & blocking is probably the best response.

Sorry you had to experience it though. "

Thanks

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Yeah totally agree, bang out of order. Why he thinks you seeing him in that compromising position, with Xmas Dinner left overs hanging out of him would clinch the deal is beyond me. No wonder men get such a bad rep on here. "

If it was just the leftovers picture it wouldn’t have been so bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"£100 and a courgette and I’m game "

On the!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe rudolph got stuck up his ass and was feeding him lol

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By *allnlongMan
over a year ago

Torpoint & Stonehouse

I wonder though, does this technique actually work and get a positive response from anyone ever??

Maybe its a thrill enough to know someone got something troubling, I have no clue

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Somebody’s taking all this too seriously..

Get over yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"£100 and a courgette and I’m game "

I'm willing to accept this offer.

Can someone send me the username of the guy offering £150 for the bj please?

I have £50 spare want to catch a movie too?

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Yeah... Pretty unreasonable and ungrateful. To be bestowed with such an honour is a privilege. Such rare opportunities occur once in a blue moon. Pun intended.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

Is he bisexual, the only reason I ask is a believe Kevin is missing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're making a drama where there doesn't need to be one. Someone messages something you don't like? Ignore. It's so freaking easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s up Doc? "

Simple but effective.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

You have a right to feel what you feel. Just tell him that's a waste of food and not to bother you again and block.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"What’s up Doc? "

Pmsl

Disney + channel has gone blue

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Maybe he was out fir a naked walk and fell over a snowman "

well this just made me giggle.

I’m thinking of poor Olaf right now

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I don't think that anyone needs any justification for how they feel. On the contrary you have little control over how you feel about things.

Personally, I agree that it is really inappropriate to send any sort of unsolicited sexual text or photos. I suppose that it is a side effect of the relative anonymity that the Internet provides.

Cal

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages "

If your not looking to chat, then you change your filters so no one or at least people of a certain sex can message you, full stop.

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By *reatformeatWoman
over a year ago

my own bubble

Somewhere there is a snowman with no nose

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Somewhere there is a snowman with no nose "
how does he smell?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages

If your not looking to chat, then you change your filters so no one or at least people of a certain sex can message you, full stop.

"

Yeah, but then they don't show up in updates. I like to go through the updates and make notes that say "covid cunt" on the profiles of those who are looking to meet before I report them.

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By *reatformeatWoman
over a year ago

my own bubble


"Somewhere there is a snowman with no nose how does he smell? "
terrible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the same old story of fab I think. Not much you can do but delete, block and move on. Happens a lot to me. I’m only ever bothered if they become abusive.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Couple of weeks too early isn’t he?

If you believe the papers his will be the way of showing your wealth soon

S

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Filters out people you wouldn't meet and you won't need to spend your time with a reply (block and delete takes about 1 second). Could you look at it that way?

This approach usually works for me, but depending on state of mind I might be sitting here ranting when another dick / hairy arse appears in my inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s the same for a lot of people here. I do get messages from guys telling me what they would do to me and I clearly state I’m not gay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

Unfortunately it's just the thing on here for people to assume that you would like that sort of opening message. I'd say just delete and block and move on its harsh but if you let it upset or offend you to much you will end up being one of the good ones to leave.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke


"Hi. I’m looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve had a message that’s really annoyed me and I’m wondering whether I’m justified in being annoyed. My profile makes it pretty clear that I’m not looking to meet or chat at the moment. Aside from that there is no indication that I’m into anything unusual or anything particularly kinky. It’s just a fairly plain, vanilla profile.

Earlier this evening I was sent a message by a man who enclosed graphic pictures of him bent over spreading his anus and another of a carrot inserted. The accompanying text was very niche request about his fantasies and what he would like from me.

Am I unreasonable in thinking this is totally out of order? It’s really pissed me off.

I’m not into kink shaming, each to their own. But is it ok to force your really rather niche kinks onto a stranger without any indication they might be interested? I don’t think it is. I’m not easily offended, but this has really irked me. "

It could of been worse hun.. he could of been a snowman and asked if u could smell carrots

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

No you are not being unreasonable.

Consent is one of the bedrocks of kink, and life.

What you have encountered is to me no different than sexual harassment and indecent exposure.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I don't think that anyone needs any justification for how they feel. On the contrary you have little control over how you feel about things.

Personally, I agree that it is really inappropriate to send any sort of unsolicited sexual text or photos. I suppose that it is a side effect of the relative anonymity that the Internet provides.

Cal"

Anonymity has a lot to answer for! And I agree on unsolicited messages being inappropriate.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"No you are not being unreasonable.

Consent is one of the bedrocks of kink, and life.

What you have encountered is to me no different than sexual harassment and indecent exposure."

I’m glad you said that. That’s how I feel. If he’d done that in real life he’d be arrested.

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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago

North Devon-ish

HHHEEEELLLLOOOOO (Sorry to shout)

just wondering if i am on the right thread ?

Getting annoyed when people dont read a profile ?

90% of the wannabees dont read profiles, everyone in Fabland knows that.

Out of the 10% that claim they do, 50% wont read every word, and if you are brave enough to challenge that, they will claim they must of missed that bit..

Just smile, delete or block, another nutter will be along in a minute

Most dont expect a reply anyway

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Filters out people you wouldn't meet and you won't need to spend your time with a reply (block and delete takes about 1 second). Could you look at it that way?

This approach usually works for me, but depending on state of mind I might be sitting here ranting when another dick / hairy arse appears in my inbox "

Ha ha. I get those too I can deal with them, but rant too.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"HHHEEEELLLLOOOOO (Sorry to shout)

just wondering if i am on the right thread ?

Getting annoyed when people dont read a profile ?

90% of the wannabees dont read profiles, everyone in Fabland knows that.

Out of the 10% that claim they do, 50% wont read every word, and if you are brave enough to challenge that, they will claim they must of missed that bit..

Just smile, delete or block, another nutter will be along in a minute

Most dont expect a reply anyway "

I think my point is that if your tastes are that niche you should be checking that your recipient might be on board before sending messages about it. This isn’t a niche/fet site, it’s a regular swingers site. Yes, people like all sorts, but to assume that someone will be happy to receive a message about eating shit, gagging on stuff that’s been up your arse until you vomit and will want to see a picture of your gaped arsehole is really taking the piss. If that’s the stuff you’re into, then blind messaging really ok. IMO.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders


"Filters out people you wouldn't meet and you won't need to spend your time with a reply (block and delete takes about 1 second). Could you look at it that way?

This approach usually works for me, but depending on state of mind I might be sitting here ranting when another dick / hairy arse appears in my inbox

Ha ha. I get those too I can deal with them, but rant too. "

You know this most likely is someone who'd never ever meet anyone from this site and is only here for the rush of sending a stranger an explicit picture.

If you really do feel this was like harassment by all means report the profile, but it probably won't be the last time you get sent a picture of someone stuffing his or her arse with some sort of food or whatever object x

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

I cant decide if this is a joke post or not..

If not.. what makes you think that guy even looked at your profile? Just delete him and have a gin

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By *ams12345Man
over a year ago

london

This cracked me right up looool but no I don’t think anyone would want to see that without prior warning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's sadly typical of some site users (generally men) who are only interested in getting what they want, not in giving you what you want. The kind who are always trying to steer chats or messages in their preferred direction. People who start this way aren't worth wasting time on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages

If your not looking to chat, then you change your filters so no one or at least people of a certain sex can message you, full stop.

"

But that just stops anyone messaging her?

I think the OP was mostly annoyed by the content of the message. Unfortunately you can't filter out content that annoys/offends you.

I'm on other social platforms and sometimes get sent vulgar messages/pics or vids. There are absolutely no filters to prevent that at all.

I can see why the OP felt annoyed. I'm pretty disgusted by some of the stuff I receive. Thank goodness for the block button though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys eh ! ... we aren’t all the same !

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Some guys eh ! ... we aren’t all the same ! "

The parnip pic you sent me suggests there's only a minor difference

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By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's absolutely out of order.

Unless someone started a thread called "Splayed anus and inserted carrot pictures- say if you're in and want one sent" and you commented that you were in, then it's utterly out of order.

It's not kink-shaming when the photo has come from nowhere. I have my penis visible on some of my profile pics, but I'm not sending a pic of it to someone I haven't spoken who hasn't asked for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some guys eh ! ... we aren’t all the same !

The parnip pic you sent me suggests there's only a minor difference "

It was a marrow darling get it right !

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Some guys eh ! ... we aren’t all the same !

The parnip pic you sent me suggests there's only a minor difference

It was a marrow darling get it right ! "

Oh baby, you took it sooooooooo good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some guys eh ! ... we aren’t all the same !

The parnip pic you sent me suggests there's only a minor difference

It was a marrow darling get it right !

Oh baby, you took it sooooooooo good."

mmmh I’m more of a giver ... I can give goooooood

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

Wow, this thread dragged on a tad lol

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"

Regardless of if someone's looking to chat or not, I fail to see how filters can be used to stop such messages

If your not looking to chat, then you change your filters so no one or at least people of a certain sex can message you, full stop.

"

I wasn’t looking to chat to strangers, but there are lots of people on here that I’m friends with I would be happy to hear from for the first time, both male and female. I only don’t want this kind of message, because I think it’s really rude and inappropriate.

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By *iss Lovely OP   Woman
over a year ago

Here and There


"It's absolutely out of order.

Unless someone started a thread called "Splayed anus and inserted carrot pictures- say if you're in and want one sent" and you commented that you were in, then it's utterly out of order.

It's not kink-shaming when the photo has come from nowhere. I have my penis visible on some of my profile pics, but I'm not sending a pic of it to someone I haven't spoken who hasn't asked for it."

Unfortunately not everyone seems to think the way we do. I totally agree.

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Overthinking my dear. Just block, delete and move on.

I thought chickens had it bad. Poor carrot."

This totally - what a waste of a carrot it could have been fed to Rudolph !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By * New YorkieMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"I wouldn’t let it bother you enough to be annoyed about it.

Just delete and block, to me if it’s legal, no biggie. Who cares xx"

This is the best advice.

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By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"It's absolutely out of order.

Unless someone started a thread called "Splayed anus and inserted carrot pictures- say if you're in and want one sent" and you commented that you were in, then it's utterly out of order.

It's not kink-shaming when the photo has come from nowhere. I have my penis visible on some of my profile pics, but I'm not sending a pic of it to someone I haven't spoken who hasn't asked for it.

Unfortunately not everyone seems to think the way we do. I totally agree. "

Other posters have mentioned the issue of consent, which of course is paramount. That's before we even talk about basic respect, manners, and- I say this as a straight cis male- the sheer volume of unwanted attention that other members of the site are dealing with daily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just stumbled accross a profile of a female with a carrot up her bum she's on my hot list now must be a thing

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's not what I would consider normal or acceptable, but it is normal enough on Fab. Alas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By fab standards it’s pretty normal. I’ve seen some things that make me want to bleach my eyes. Just block and delete

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