FabSwingers.com forum: "Must be hot / attractive"

By *stbury Davenport OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

You're looking at someone's profile. You like their pictures. Their profile text sounds appealing. You think you might have something to offer them.

Then you come across the dreaded words "You must be hot", "You must be a attractive", or the equivalent.

Anyone else always think "Oh well, guess they wouldn't be interested in me, then" and just move on?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"You're looking at someone's profile. You like their pictures. Their profile text sounds appealing. You think you might have something to offer them.

Then you come across the dreaded words "You must be hot", "You must be a attractive", or the equivalent.

Anyone else always think "Oh well, guess they wouldn't be interested in me, then" and just move on? "

People are entitled to their own preferences. However, we tend to skip most profiles that have any kind of physical preference mentioned on their profile, even if they wink us first, as it is our experience that they are looking for a specific experience that we won’t provide and so want to avoid wasting peoples time.

If you feel you are not attractive enough to message someone, then nothing anyone can say will alter that. We have been told by several people they do not find us attractive following an initial message. It happens, but it doesn’t stop us reaching out to other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately beauty is subjective, but I tend to find “must be attractive” a problem as at the end of the day, there’s no point talking to someone trying to arrange a meet if you don’t find them physically attractive to you personally. You may find me attractive, you may not. I don’t know, so all I can go off is if I think i feel attractive that day. At the end of the month / mid lockdown when the barbers are shut it’s a no. Lockdown ends/ once the barber is open I’m more likely to think yeah!

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By *el and jayneMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

Every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're looking at someone's profile. You like their pictures. Their profile text sounds appealing. You think you might have something to offer them.

Then you come across the dreaded words "You must be hot", "You must be a attractive", or the equivalent.

Anyone else always think "Oh well, guess they wouldn't be interested in me, then" and just move on? "

Fuck that mate, shy kids dont get sweets. If the person, people your messaging are decent they will just reply saying thanks but your not what were looking for then ya move on.

Got to be confident and just go for it.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

There choices there preferences

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I get your point OP and I do tend to skip past people who say generic things like that - as someone else said they usually have an idea of what they are looking for and I tend to assume they'd already have messaged if that were me.

Thing is, how does anyone reading know what they find attractive? Some wonen prefer huge cock, toned, muscular, others say huge cocks hurt or prefer someone more cuddly. Although I think most of us tend to read 'attractive' to mean 'conventionally attractive', you never know unless you try...

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

If they mention 'must be hot', I usually tell them I'm stood next to a radiator!

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

How would you know if they don't find you attractive unless you ask.....

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

What you have described is very common.

Looking at it from our point of view (the single guy) its very frustrating indeed but at the end of the day we have to respect their preferences.

I guess the majority of women and couples on here are fantasists. If you are going to let someone into your sex life, you'll want them to tick every box. Tall, handsome, 6 pack, clean shaven, no body hair, hung like a horse, be able to fuck all night, oh and have a full head of hair too

Try not to let other peoples profiles bring you down. Simply block them and move on.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I’d rather someone say what they think is hot, or just tell me directly.

“Must be hot” is so subjective and pretty much pointless

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

"I’d rather someone say what they think is hot, or just tell me directly.

“Must be hot” is so subjective and pretty much pointless "

Kinda what I said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you have described is very common.

Looking at it from our point of view (the single guy) its very frustrating indeed but at the end of the day we have to respect their preferences.

Try not to let other peoples profiles bring you down. Simply block them and move on.

We don't have any prior demands on ours. We also aren't looking for perfection as we're not "perfect" ourselves. It's more the connection along with attraction that is the full package for us. Hope you meet some you click with if that's what you're looking for. Mrs x

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

I scroll every time I see this. I am told I am pretty but don't see it and I don't come on here with the intention to mislead anyone.

I have my own preference and others have theirs. If I'm not someone's cup of tea I just move on with no hard feelings

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

While it isnt on our profile I wouldn't meet anyone I didn't find attractive. Why on earth would I? Is it wrong that I need physical attraction before I'll consider any sort of activity? That's my idea of what's attractive or hot, it isn't necessarily anybody else's. If someone doesn't think they're attractive I can't help that but they shouldn't imagine they know what I'll find attractive.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"You're looking at someone's profile. You like their pictures. Their profile text sounds appealing. You think you might have something to offer them.

Then you come across the dreaded words "You must be hot", "You must be a attractive", or the equivalent.

Anyone else always think "Oh well, guess they wouldn't be interested in me, then" and just move on? "

To be honest i would not be interested in them if that was the wording they used. Total turn off for me.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess the difficulty arises when folk don't qualify what's attractive to them and really, how can you? I only ask that there's a mutual attraction. If there is then clearly we each think the other is hot.... Yes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

naw i'm stunning

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Guess the difficulty arises when folk don't qualify what's attractive to them and really, how can you? I only ask that there's a mutual attraction. If there is then clearly we each think the other is hot.... Yes? "

I sort of assume that most people feel that they must find potential sexual partners attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sort of assume that most people feel that they must find potential sexual partners attractive. "

You would think so wouldn't you lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I sort of assume that most people feel that they must find potential sexual partners attractive.

You would think so wouldn't you lol

. Phew I thought I was the odd one out.

Does actually writing it make rejection from that profile worse maybe?

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

When I see this I dont judge them for it as we all like what we like and have our own idea of what is hot or not.

Personally I don't see myself as hot so I move on.....I know very well how I look in the morning and it ain't pretty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sort of assume that most people feel that they must find potential sexual partners attractive.

You would think so wouldn't you lol

. Phew I thought I was the odd one out.

Does actually writing it make rejection from that profile worse maybe? "

I think it's how it's put and some may take it too seriously. I disregard it, if I like someone I'd message, it's no biggie if I'm not for them, that's just life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I sort of assume that most people feel that they must find potential sexual partners attractive.

You would think so wouldn't you lol

. Phew I thought I was the odd one out.

Does actually writing it make rejection from that profile worse maybe?

I think it's how it's put and some may take it too seriously. I disregard it, if I like someone I'd message, it's no biggie if I'm not for them, that's just life.

Same

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

You can’t be too mad if a potential meet is asking you to rate yourself. Lots of people on here are looking for sexual satisfaction, lots of that is born from confidence.

If they reject you, so what? Lots of the swinging scene is rejection. You need to learn to embrace the fact you won’t be for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My philosophy has always been that it's not for me to judge whether someone finds me attractive or not. It's not something I can control.

I am myself and some will find that attractive and others not. But that's normal in the same way we're all different in whom we find attractive. And it's important that we value ourselves, know we have worth and not be defined by what others think.

It's always interesting to see those who clearly have a model-like body (or think they do) behave as if this somehow sets them above others. This is something I find deeply unattractive regardless of how they look.

I've also been surprised in finding myself attracted to a wide variety of people and have discovered much about myself through Fab. This is because attractiveness is not just about looks but also personality, outlook, genuineness and a sexy mind.

We're all sexual people. We should enjoy being who we are and know that attractiveness is a multi-facted thing. Don't be put off by those who like to draw this very narrowly. It's their choice and a good indicator that they may not be a good match for you.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Kinda. I'd be reluctant to approach someone who's profile was very vocal about only meeting hot/attractive people as I'd feel like messaging them implied I believed I was really hot. Attraction is a subjective thing so you're never going to know if someone is attracted to you before approaching but profiles like that make you nervous about getting a response like "why are you messaging me!? My profile says hot people only!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing wrong with saying that at all!!

They can go down the pub and get someone not attractive. They’re here for the best. It’s a preference.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Kinda. I'd be reluctant to approach someone who's profile was very vocal about only meeting hot/attractive people as I'd feel like messaging them implied I believed I was really hot. Attraction is a subjective thing so you're never going to know if someone is attracted to you before approaching but profiles like that make you nervous about getting a response like "why are you messaging me!? My profile says hot people only!" "

That's true. It would be a bit of blow to confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No im confident enough to approach anyone with the same confidence the cat next door has when it shits in my front garden...even after ive hosed its ass for the 15th time.

Not everyone is going to find you attractive. Just try your luck and if it doesnt work out keep going and smiling.

We are

All Beautiful

People

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hot/attractive would be their version not yours... I find very different men attractive but it's always their face, then their attitude, if the 2 don't match then it's game over but not all guys that are classed as hot are always attractive, to me at least. Attraction is a very strange fish so don't sweat it. You just never know

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By *akedduo66Couple
over a year ago

Near Bordon

Reminds me of the Sutton House Parties.

Quite late in the evening a group of "hot, attractive whatever" would pay their tenner and totter from room to room muttering that " it's just normal people" and totter off into the night presumably on an endless quest for people of their quality.

We'd look up from whatever cock/fanny were were enjoying and pity them, briefly, and resume our fun.

There's something to be said for being "normal".

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Reminds me of the Sutton House Parties.

We'd look up from whatever cock/fanny were were enjoying and pity them, briefly, and resume our fun.

There's something to be said for being "normal".

But you found the person attached to the cock/fanny attractive, no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that it can be daunting, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all have different tastes, so surely it's worth a try?

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By *akedduo66Couple
over a year ago

Near Bordon

"Reminds me of the Sutton House Parties.

We'd look up from whatever cock/fanny were were enjoying and pity them, briefly, and resume our fun.

There's something to be said for being "normal".

But you found the person attached to the cock/fanny attractive, no? "

Very.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hot/attractive would be their version not yours... I find very different men attractive but it's always their face, then their attitude, if the 2 don't match then it's game over but not all guys that are classed as hot are always attractive, to me at least. Attraction is a very strange fish so don't sweat it. You just never know "

Saying this though, if I find someone attractive enough to want to get to know them better, I assume they won't fancy me back lol

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Always

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

The ones I find strange who say in their profile they're looking for someone max age younger than you and someone in good shape (definitely not me) so I'll pass them by, but send me messages wanting to chat etc. It's puzzling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ones I find strange who say in their profile they're looking for someone max age younger than you and someone in good shape (definitely not me) so I'll pass them by, but send me messages wanting to chat etc. It's puzzling "

There is nothing wrong with your shape, lady!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you shouldn’t let that put you off as the profile your liking the look of might actually find you attractive? Different strokes for different folks and all that.

Always think it’s pointless putting it on a profile tho as surely a mutual attraction is a must for any sexual contact? xx

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

There is nothing wrong with your shape, lady!

Why thankyou

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"You're looking at someone's profile. You like their pictures. Their profile text sounds appealing. You think you might have something to offer them.

Then you come across the dreaded words "You must be hot", "You must be a attractive", or the equivalent.

Anyone else always think "Oh well, guess they wouldn't be interested in me, then" and just move on? "

Surely you’ve got nothing to lose if you did message OP and if they’re ticking your boxes.

Attraction has to be a two way thing and by messaging you’re seeing if you’re for them too.

Lol I say that I’m looking for “sex on legs” kind of guy on profile but that’s different for everyone surely.

Or maybe it’s something that puts others off

guess I’ll never really know

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By *ibertineDMan
over a year ago

Travelling

It’s a very subjective thing and can’t really be quantified can it?

Who dares wins I guess? Be confident and reach out if you like the sound of someone.

I rarely bother replying to anything that states something in such simplistic terms. Especially that old chestnut “hung”! I could be wrong, but would like to think I’ve got more to offer than just a certain dimension, whatever that dimension is required to be??

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london

For sure we don’t do that if we click as a couple that’s good enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignor them and move on

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