FabSwingers.com forum: Why are you actually here...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been a member of Fab for a number of years, and in that time I have been very fortunate to enjoy many of the kinks and fetishes that people come here to enjoy.

But I didn't sign up with that in mind, I actually signed up to refind myself. I had been with my ex for 17 years, since high school, I had commited myself entirely to my wife, but a series of life events meant the solid foundation we'd had erroded, and with the death of our relationship over many years, I found I had died too, I didn't know who I was, what I was doing, where my place in the world was.

I was single for the first time in my adult life and no idea who I was. I joined fab to find out, in a way that would allow me to meet people of all walks of life, to enjoy their comoany and physicallities, but without having to commit to being that person beyond that moment.

Now, many years later, I know who I am, I have found through swinging what my outlook is on a lot of things, not jsut sex, but every part of who I am has been influenced by the people and expereinces I have met in the years since my divorce.

So, what bought you to this, what did you hope to get from it, and looking back, did you find what you were looking for?

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

We had been together for 25 years, when we discussed it and our only regret is not doing it sooner, we have made some brilliant friends and met some truly wonderful people xxx

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Root cause, I'm seriously bored because of being made redundant in March.

The gods honest truth is that I, and several others were getting banned left right and centre from another website. Due to 'discussing' American politics with yanks. Euphemism for taking the Mick. Mods tightened the micky taking to such an extent. That it's lost most of the people I used to have fun with.

I was recommended this site from a guy from a different website again. Took me a couple of weeks to find the forums on this site. Which are a lot more entertaining, relevant and real than the other two websites I frequented.

But getting verified and actually meeting people, I think is going to be somewhat of a challenge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good question OP usually I have answer for everything .. but this ...

.. I don’t know why I’m here at this current time !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good question OP usually I have answer for everything .. but this ...

.. I don’t know why I’m here at this current time !

.. "

To show everyone your torso?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came here many many years ago as a couple it’s been a rollercoaster but I now have something I never dreamed was possible and I won’t meet from fab ever again

I’m purely here to keep in contact with friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loneliness after leaving the army....teamed up with the lady in my pics i had met previously at club for some company and fun. Coronavirus hit now we dont see much of each other now .Hope I not bored you too much ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stupidly thought I might meet someone where we'd both agree to bubble up together for the duration.... Didn't work out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For fun.

In all its forms and flavours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Came for kink +sex.. Been a slow year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right now? The forum.

Why I joined originally a couple of years ago? Similar reasons, found myself single and wanted to explore without any commitment.

I’m definitely in a different place than I was even 6 months ago, and I’m not really looking to fab to meet the wants that I now have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came for new and interesting experiences. To meet new people, socialise a bit. To have sex with as many nice & attractive guys as I can and hopefully experience great sex along the way xx

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I have a strong leaning to kink, talked to L about it, she admitted a strong leaning to other ladies.

It works well for us, she is my Jiminy Cricket if I enter into a D/s relationship and playing together and with others turns us both on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a sub last year who was married and they are into swinging. We never been involved together as she kept our Ds separate from her vanilla life. Then covid separate us.

But it intrigued me and just decided to join and hopefully experience what couples like about swinging. I have been looking for about cuckolding on another fetish site but never found the couple. While I am not seeking specifically that dynamic, I hope to try the ménage à trois game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We joined to expand on our already fulfilling lovelife. To meet other cpls and bi fems for sex experiences and friendships. The social aspect is just as important to us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some interesting reasons, it’s nice when people share more about themselves, I always find the fab personas a bit much these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just here for the cake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curiosity along with my massively high sex drive and impulsiveness drove me to this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/20 20:52:14]

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Boston

Omg exactly as u said OP, only in my case I was widowed rather than a break up. A very healthy appetite for sex also helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wanted to try men , this lasted for a few years

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By *heshire-cat74Woman
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent

I was on the scene about 13 years ago made some good friends and left when I met someone had kids etc became single again and thought it was time to find myself again not just the sexual side but to find my inner self make some friends along the way and have a laugh and some fun times then covid hit, obviously it has put a stop to most activities but I have will made some good friends just talking on here

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By *olletteWoman
over a year ago

Huddersfield

A lot of what you write about after you became single resonates for me. I hit 50 last year ( I know... it says I’m 48!) ... and I felt it was about time to let go of convention, explore and follow my desires and elements of sex I had touched on but never seemed able to explore with the ‘ more vanilla’ men I had dates/ had relationships with.

I recon too I had a side of me I was scared if.... my dirty dark snd raw side I held back.

But I felt fed up of holding back. Doing things for others.

It was my time. I had been in a journey over the past 2 years to let go of the bullshit I put on myself: I don’t blame others as I think it’s often self doing- self imposed.

An amazing chain of events followed, I think they did because I was finally being true to who I am.

I think life puts things forward to us to either grow with or dismiss... even if they are challenging, kind of ‘sunk it swim’, I choose to swim but to have the insight snd self honesty to grow. ( even if I’m a bit blind at first)

I’ve been in Fab since jan 2020. I have mostly met amazing and wonderful and genuine people, I have so much more to experience and flow to. I’m navigating the complexities snd where my head and heart go.

This life is so refreshing. I’m working on trying to stay ‘real’ as it’s also an addictive and obsessional world and a head fuck at times.

But I am learning sooooooo much about who I am and what I value in myself.

Vive is vive!!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similair sort of situation to you Op. And here keeps giving me answers to questions I have about the person I am, what I need, what I look for in people that still isnt particulary good for me, but I know thats what I do now, so it still gives me things of myself to work on. Its a companionship in weird times, far beyond any benefits of just sex.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I'm here because this is where my other half (Sultry Succubus) exist.

It completes me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A decent chat to begin with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much the same situation here in terms of finding myself. I've been on and off Fab for about 6 years now, met some great people and explored situations that I'd never though I'd find myself in let alone fantasize about.... For me the lack of physical intimacy during the pandemic has really made me reevaluate my needs and desires, sadly not always for the satisfaction of my deviant self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I joined as im now divorced after being with my ex from the age of 15. Iv never had sex with anyone else except her and thought it would be a good way to meet local woman who wanted sex. Its not turned out that way lol. Now I like to just chat in the forums and its nice to get other peoples perspective on diffrent topics that you don't usually talk about in real life.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone."

That's interesting. Why do you think that is? Genuinely interested as we get more interest when we post pics. It is not always the sort of interest we are looking for, but sometimes it is... Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone."

Oh bloody hell dont leave im sure we will all miss your daily pics

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I joined for hook ups in my local area.

Ended up in a kik group and made the best group of friends who took me to my first club and now I absolutely love it!

We often make a weekend of it and meet up all over for events as friends. Love it x

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

"Good question OP usually I have answer for everything .. but this ...

.. I don’t know why I’m here at this current time !

To show everyone your torso?"

Ooooh, yes please. Do love a well shaped torso

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think some people appreciate a decent conversation... Don't loose hope, there's a few diamonds in the rough on here still....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone.

That's interesting. Why do you think that is? Genuinely interested as we get more interest when we post pics. It is not always the sort of interest we are looking for, but sometimes it is... Mrs"

When I post a pic, I get a lot of messages, and I'm not ungrateful for the compliments, but too many mean if I reply to someone I'm actually interested in, their reply gets lost in a sea of hundreds more messages. So the connection is gone before it starts. I have better chats when I don't post anything at all ironically.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

I originally signed up for regular dating sites, but since I wasn't looking for anything serious that didn't quite work out for me.

So fab's the ideal place for me really. Yeah plenty time wasters, arseholes and fantasists, but I have actually had some of the best times because of this site and met some amazing people and they do make it worthwhile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe just stick to the forums?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like its the best chance to find someone for a MMF or slightly older ladies. No luck yet but working on it

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone.

That's interesting. Why do you think that is? Genuinely interested as we get more interest when we post pics. It is not always the sort of interest we are looking for, but sometimes it is... Mrs

I guess that makes sense. As a couple we don't receive the hundreds of messages that single women do, even after posting some pics. I guess if people have found your profile without it being due to regular pics then they have made an effort!

I guess that's why alot of people take the messaging onto Kik...

It's a shame if it's making you want to leave though.x

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone."

Maybe hide your profile and take a break? Would be a shame to delete everything straight away. And if you decide in a few weeks or months you're ready for more, your profile is still here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you actually here...

Something to do in lockdown and arrange fucks when I get vaccine

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Been here for 10 years after having swinging interests from when I was even younger. It's a great environment, I like the mix of people and the sex and engagement opportunities can be great. Bad year globally now of course, so it's Forum and chatting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might be time to get off at the next station .. me thinks .. been hovering over the delete button all day

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I actually joined to meet women and explore my bi side, I'm sad to say that hasn't really happened and I'm unsure why. I have met some great guys though over the last 5 years but not for a while.

I'm not sure it's worth the bother any more tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might be time to get off at the next station .. me thinks .. been hovering over the delete button all day

Snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't even know anymore honestly. I'll either leave soon or totally change how I use the site, as posting pics regularly actually prevents me from having meaningful chats with anyone."

I think a lot of us would miss your pics as they are frankly quite stunning. Try not posting pics for a while and see if things calm down. John

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By *oldenskyWoman
over a year ago

london

With kids dad from school for 26 years came on here to experience life a bit more and see what I’ve been missing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually joined to meet women and explore my bi side, I'm sad to say that hasn't really happened and I'm unsure why. I have met some great guys though over the last 5 years but not for a while.

I'm not sure it's worth the bother any more tbh."

Pretty much kinda the same. I joined hoping to meet a woman while being mostly open, honest and upfront about what I am from the start. Has not really worked out that well for me. But i have met some wonderful people and had some great times even though i may not of originally been looking for them.

But yeah I am starting to question why I am still here. Hope I guess lol!

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By *almprintsWoman
over a year ago

deepest, darkest West

I came for sex...found kink, enjoyed it.

But now I'm finding the liars, and bullshitters and general twats.

It was fun...I'm hoping it goes back to that, because I really, really like sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am here because I am not looking for relationship and I got a high sex drive

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I joined Fab because I want more sex.

Did real-world dating, joined all the regular dating sites, got involved with the kink scene too... not enough. Fab was just the next stage.

If anyone knows what the next step beyond Fab is, please shout up.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I took a wrong turn on my way to Asda. Decided to stick around for the intellectual chat.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Just here to chat with friends and enjoy the forums at the current time but who knows what it may bring in the future.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Came out of an 11 year relationship a couple of years ago, always knew I wanted to explore more sexually and especially my bi side (not that that has actually happened can't seem to get anywhere) and just enjoy life for a bit and try new things before I even considered settling with someone again

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By *ubyRonCouple
over a year ago

Lancashire

At the minute have fun with other couples and hopefully enjoy clubs and have some same room sex. We're really new to this but not quite ready to swap. Although Ruby really wants to experience a gloryhole and I'm all for watching her enjoy that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Similair sort of situation to you Op. And here keeps giving me answers to questions I have about the person I am, what I need, what I look for in people that still isnt particulary good for me, but I know thats what I do now, so it still gives me things of myself to work on. Its a companionship in weird times, far beyond any benefits of just sex. "

You have a beautiful profile and I think you wrote a really thoughtful response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For reasons similar to what a lot of people have already posted.

I came here after finding myself. I realised I was interested in this lifestyle more than a vanilla one and decided to embrace it.

The fact that Fab is a place where people with kinks can express themselves and meet likeminded others and are almost celebrated rather than made to feel like outcasts is a beautiful thing.

I came to fulfil my fantasies but since being here I also enjoy reading others’ and the general Fab community.

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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago

Cap d’Agde, France

We’re lucky ones, been together 40 years and still cuddle before going to sleep and on waking up, always had an open marriage but getting into kink and swing 20 years ago has enhanced it.

Outside of the family, nowadays, two thirds of our friends are in the lifestyle and we just love these carefree open friendships.

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By *ownhamguyMan
over a year ago

Battle

I'm here because I really enjoy being ignored by people who refuse to give the time of day who won't even reply to a message even to say fuck off leave me alone or look at a profile. Having said that I have met a few really nice girls as well. But hey it it what it is. Life goes on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am here to find people I can get along with and do some things that I have only thought of for years. Hoping that it is never too late I guess

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

For us it was the easiest way for me to satisfy my bisexual side. Over the years we have met some wonderful couples who have become good friends. We are thinking about calling it a day here now though as this site has severely gone downhill over the last few years

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Been single over a 5 years tried regular dating site before stumbling across fab.

Previous relationships sex was rather vanilla, I'm rather open minded and want to explore and try new and exciting things in the bedroom.

Find fab women are more honest and upfront with what they want. Like to meet very much like minded people without being judged for my naughty side x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope to find some no strings fun after a divorce, no look so far but love some of the sexy photos and live in hope??

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By *laymateteeMan
over a year ago

Southampton

To enjoy every aspect of my sexual life,experiment,act out my fantasies,go to clubs and meet like minded people while I'm still single and available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like many others I came out of a long term relationship that didn’t quite meet my sexual appetite or drive. Found myself on here on and off over the years as a single male and in a couple for a while.

Met some great people, although due to work and the need to be discreet it’s getting less frequent.

I keep thinking my sex drive will lessen , but it’s definitely not!

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By *ustyshowoffCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

We are simply here to find people to play with

Jxx

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Because you can’t use the word “cunt” on Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m here to find a regular FWB as I’m not getting benefits in my current situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was introduced to this website from someone on a dating site, I'd complained I wasn't having much luck and he said I'd be a hit on here.

I originally joined with the intention of it being a stop gap between singledom and a relationship but I've recently come to the conclusion I don't actually want a relationship but I do need sex... So here I am.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Tea & Cake

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

Came here as it was this or meeting on our own ,but our first meet MMF we met on another site said here was better and 2 years later we are still here ,it fills the gap of hubbys bi side and i get 2 guys attention as at times ive been told im insatiable

it can be a minefield and ive learned a lot and to have a thick skin ,but you get out what you put in ,but ruined by covid at the min

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Here for the forums. Had disaster after disaster with meets from here so pointless doing that even when Covid is lesser.

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By *hrissycox66TV/TS
over a year ago

watford

"I'm here because this is where my other half (Sultry Succubus) exist.

It completes me."

Same as this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forums and maybe make a few good connections

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just here for the forums and catching up with club friends during lockdown. I love the banter, not looking to meet. My gf does enough searching for single bi guys to join us, she's a very naughty girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I decided to spend lockdown 1 figuring out exactly what I want from relationships. I’m 43 and apart from one 6 year relationship I’ve never really had any “successful” ones. I did a little swinging Rios and another adult site) in the 00s but I stopped when I wanted to “settle down”. Now, I want to start re-exploring everything swinging & non-monogamous. I’d love to go to a club/party once they happen again.

Truth be told, I’m on here purely to meet bi men I’d gay men who want to try with a woman. I also want to try being a top, sexually & in relationships. Eventually I’d love to meet a lovely bi man for an open swinging relationship.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I had 6yrs without sex and had a low sex drive but suddenly my sex drive went through the roof, I spoke to a friend who I knew was a swinger to ask a few questions he sent me a link to Fab. I was a bit overwhelmed at first as within 30mins of joining I had about 50 msgs but I persevered and met someone who became a mentor to me on here and he guided me through my first year showing me who I was and that I wasn't lazy in bed I am actually a sub and just needed the right touch

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I first joined as someone had told me about the site and I was curious.

I stayed because I am single and wanted sex without commitment and this works for me.

I have also made some great friends (not all sexual) and enjoy the chat and social side that the site can bring.

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By *assionate explorer 1Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

To meet someone who is adventurous as me but on my level out of the bed

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"To meet someone who is adventurous as me but on my level out of the bed "

Great status

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I'm just here for the cake. "

There's cake, where? Better not be carrot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm an outrageous flirt :P

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Initially we thought it would help us fulfill some fantasies and some escapism within a community of similar interest which it did, but then new ones kept appearing..lol and that's when we realised it helped us to enjoy being ourselves and escape from what we do everyday, and still enjoy and value that side as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow, some great answers to my question, and some very honest reasons too.

Funny how stripping off can be such a great way to make friends without the bullshit.

Thank you everyone who has contributed so far, you’re all fantastic people and I hope you find what you’re looking for, continue to find what you’re looking for, and those here for the cake, it’s on the table, help yourself!

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