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LOSE ALL I TEREST ONCE YOU HAVE CUM ?

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By *ohn n jodie OP   Couple (MM)
over a year ago

warrington

How many people on here lose interest in the sex their having as soon as they have cum ??? Genuine question as for many years i was guilty of this , woukd often stop pleasuring the moment i had shot my heavy load everywere , thinking back it was such a selfish thing to do , nowadays i get more pleasure from making sure whoever im with cums first x, anyone else similar ???

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

That's just about every guy I've been with, and yes selfish and not great, as then I feel used

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that happens to everyone. I lose interest in sex, but I still love some good cuddles and kisses. If the woman wants, I can give some oral too. But my dick is not going to get up for sometime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's just about every guy I've been with, and yes selfish and not great, as then I feel used"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters. "

I'm genuinely shocked this seems such a common thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters.

I'm genuinely shocked this seems such a common thing "

Interestingly, I haven't had the same problem with women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same and I'm female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that happens to everyone. I lose interest in sex, but I still love some good cuddles and kisses. If the woman wants, I can give some oral too. But my dick is not going to get up for sometime."

I was raised to not be selfish and sex isn't any different in that respect. That being said, for a man biologically it can be difficult to have that same passion afterwards like you say.

Luckily for me, or is it lucky for her? I can usually be 'ready' fairly quickly afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s more common than you think, when me and my other half have sex sometimes it can last a hour but sometimes he lasts a few minutes, he cum’s gets off then farts then laughs then goes to sleep and somehow I still love him ? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s more common than you think, when me and my other half have sex sometimes it can last a hour but sometimes he lasts a few minutes, he cum’s gets off then farts then laughs then goes to sleep and somehow I still love him ? Lol"

This is so relatable

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Some thing happens within the brain it happens to plenty of people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do that's why I get so much enjoyment out of pleasing the person I'm with and making them cum first/together but slip ups have been known

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t say I have done that but mind you I have a very abnormal high sex drive

Wich in turn means even after I cum I am still waiting more

Have I had guys that have done it with me yes and yes kind off feel used afterwards x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating."

Too many big words in your post for me to understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.

Too many big words in your post for me to understand "

Have a wank it'll seem much clearer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters.

I'm genuinely shocked this seems such a common thing

Interestingly, I haven't had the same problem with women. "

I think with two women the dynamics are different as you both need to have desire for pleasing each other

I think males may have animal instincts that take over to emphasise on planting their seed, between man and woman or two men for the 'giving' half

Two females is different to two men in my mind because of the lack of penetrative sex organs in the former.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating."

That's so cool!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm the same and I'm female "

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating."

Thanks for this, I have sometimes wondered...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i must say my man makes me orgasam many times before he even thinks of cumming. There have been times where i have had 6+ orgasams and he did not cum. But got turned on by the fact he made me cum. Maybe i am just lucky with him but i am sure there are many unselfish men like my John out there who do make women cum first a few times before they are done.

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters. "

Then you've made bad choices in your choice of men. We aren't all like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think when you know your limits ladies first is definitely the way to go.

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By *ucyAngelaTV/TS
over a year ago

Middleton

For many years I was a regular at the Gatehouse and I hated it when men took me into a private room and as soon as they had cum they were out of there like a bat out of hell! Those who did not do that were given a special treat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The effect can't be helped, its science but selfishness is a choice

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable


"That's just about every guy I've been with, and yes selfish and not great, as then I feel used"
I would never do that. My pleasure is to see the lady cum. Normally twice. Good some men selfish or what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest. Yeah, once iv had my full of you and I'm done then can you please just hurry up and leave. I hate it when the guy is like can you wank me off then.nah just get dressed and fuck off.

Kinda also hate it after sex when they still just lie there and I'm like we're done. Fuck off now

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

My understanding is that it is a physiological response that has evolved in men, so is the norm. Perhaps understanding this, men might adapt play times to ensure everyone's satisfaction? The book Sex at Dawn is enlightening on this subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just pull out the ward and start playing with her veejaaay until i am hard again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest. Yeah, once iv had my full of you and I'm done then can you please just hurry up and leave. I hate it when the guy is like can you wank me off then.nah just get dressed and fuck off.

Kinda also hate it after sex when they still just lie there and I'm like we're done. Fuck off now "

Brutal

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By *harkyyyMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I get my pleasure from giving pleasure, and I have more than my dick to do that. Foreplay for me isn't just to get hard, it's for me to eat her out until she's begging me to stop. She has to cum first, then we fuck, I cum and then I make her cum again. I am just the cum filling to her sandwich.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest. Yeah, once iv had my full of you and I'm done then can you please just hurry up and leave. I hate it when the guy is like can you wank me off then.nah just get dressed and fuck off.

Kinda also hate it after sex when they still just lie there and I'm like we're done. Fuck off now "

Escorting would be a great fit for you , in out fast with guys .you wouldn’t need to cum as most won’t give two fucks about your orgasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest. Yeah, once iv had my full of you and I'm done then can you please just hurry up and leave. I hate it when the guy is like can you wank me off then.nah just get dressed and fuck off.

Kinda also hate it after sex when they still just lie there and I'm like we're done. Fuck off now "

Marry me please...

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness


"I saw this online.

Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.

Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating."

.

Interesting post, funnily enough I'm always ravenously hungry rather than sleepy after a good sex session lol

.

As for the Op, no we make sure we're both satisfied

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By *otts72Man
over a year ago

London

If ive cum first i always continue pleasuring my partner until they cum only fair after all.

On rare occasions its got me back in the mood for round two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure it can be classed particularly as selfish. I used to suffer from it ,(yes, suffer!!!) As I would then think there was something wrong with me and have crushing guilt over it. It's the body and minds way of dealing with the surge of endorphins. It happens to women also. Maybe not so much. I found I managed to train my brain out of this pattern mostly, and learned to enjoy the whole post sex closeness etc.

J

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By *ongueandgroove555Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

This is just a base human impulse. We evolved to procreate as a basic instinct then rest so its perfectly normal. Its just now we know what it is so we do something about it to make sure our partner is cared for. Most of us when young dont understand it but learn as we get older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can well understand the evolutionary reason for this to happen though. You want people to go out and gather some food. Not spend the whole day fucking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop accusing men of being selfish. It’s a chemical reaction. So many times I’ve wanted to continue in my head but when I cum the desire drops from 100% to 0%. My biggest fantasy is to give my partner a cum kiss after I’ve cum in her mouth but literally I can’t as the desire has gone. This is why I ALWAYS make sure she has cum before I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a serious note though, it happens to all men. There are biological reasons for it as pointed out in the other posts. It's not like some men are willingly selfish.

That's the reason why foreplay is all the more important. For both the parties to be satisfied, it is important that the woman gets an orgasm first or at least along with the man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Science: here is the reason.

Men: oh oh look at me I'm not like that, can't believe all those other men!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest. Yeah, once iv had my full of you and I'm done then can you please just hurry up and leave. I hate it when the guy is like can you wank me off then.nah just get dressed and fuck off.

Kinda also hate it after sex when they still just lie there and I'm like we're done. Fuck off now "

This has kind of turned me! Yes! Use me..

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By *ranny hunterMan
over a year ago

Durham

I always make sure the lady has more enjoyment than me and her needs are priority. And I always cum after she is satisfied. I’ve always been like this.

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By *ranny hunterMan
over a year ago

Durham

I always make sure the lady has more enjoyment than me and her needs are priority. And I always cum after she is satisfied. I’ve always been like this.

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By *hemainintainMan
over a year ago

govan

Do not unload until lady has cum is the first rule of sex. If you have then make sure it is inside her, withdraw and lick her out until your hard again and she her soaking wet pussy has orgasmed.

. That is the second rule of sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s known as the refractory period - https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/refractory-period#overview

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a scientific fact that the only time a man wants sex twice is before he has had it once

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Yes, which is why I am more interested in getting my thrills through other behaviour outside penile stimulation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters. "

So, the percentage of the 35 meets you've on here, with men, over the years, haven't gone too well then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This describes every male sexual partner I've had, it's definitely selfish and makes me feel like their enjoyment is all that matters.

Then you've made bad choices in your choice of men. We aren't all like that."

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My understanding is that it is a physiological response that has evolved in men, so is the norm. Perhaps understanding this, men might adapt play times to ensure everyone's satisfaction? The book Sex at Dawn is enlightening on this subject."

I would suggest that many men have.

The generalising on this site, gets a bit tedious after awhile.

Just like women, we're not a monolithic / homogenous group of robots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an actual name for it. Infact 2. Post coital tristesse or more crudely post nut syndrome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

must admit most guys ive met are more than ready for more after they have cum but then i do chat and make sure this before meeting ie if i want a fuck n go ill ask for one if i want more (mostly) then i attract the guys who want more ... always best to be up front whiles chatting otherwise its a guessing game

there are bad on here but there are far more good ...fact

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By *Jones19Man
over a year ago

Evesham, Worcester, Pershore

I wouldnt put it as selfishness, not with me anyway. As above people have mentioned there's a chemical change in the brain that cause it ect.

Working round it comes down to knowing yourself/play partner and and learning best practice.

Forplay is always key in my opinion. Playing, teasing and even cumming during forplay always tends to lead to better sex in my opinion full stop. But yeah after I've cum during sex, I lose that desire to keep going (some times worse than others), but my fwb/sub knows that if she waits or takes some encouragement into her own hands (or mouth) it'll pass and we'll be back at it. She's been know to be lay looking at my cock willing it to start doing something again while I'm just lay there. Lol. Works best for us and our dynamic that she shows me how much she still wants it, over me trying to force myself to be sexual when I might be deep in that suppressed mood. Doing that just kill everything, I have no energy/couldn't be fussed, she's not really enjoying it cause she senses im not fully into it and it just gets everyone down cause I like to see her enjoying herself and what her to have as much fun as possible. Best to let her use her sexual mood shes in and have that drag me back.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

It's a fairly common thing - the need to sleep/rest in itself isn't selfish, it's more the behaviour surrounding it. That's what can be upsetting. So say oral was on the cards for me but the man decided he'd rather have a blowjob and then go to sleep straight after with no effort to do so before or after... yeah that's not the best of behaviour.

I think foreplay can be great fun providing you're both into it but I also don't know if sex always needs to be a case of tit for tat, sometimes it's okay if one doesn't orgasm. It's probably best if both partners are compatible and have similar expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to have lots of fore play making the lady I am with cum before me then when I think its right I will cum then after love lots of kissing and fore play until the old man recovers and then I would say it’s up to the person you are with if they would like more if this makes sense

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By *ickinNottsMan
over a year ago

Hucknall

I love to continue long after cumming. Even if my cock is soft my mind is hard.

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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago

Kidderminster

I get annoyed with MrsJ as I'm the same but sometimes want to do other things but it's as if she doesn't and makes me cum so I'm to tired to carry on.

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By *rscotsdudeMan
over a year ago

angus

I think the op means more that once a man has cum all your desires and kinky thoughts disappear. Certainly thats what happens with me. When horny and in the build up and i will do anything no matter how dirty or filthy! Totally would be up for anything and not much out of bounds but once i cum all that desire disappears. As one poster mentioned a classic example is being made to take your own cum! Im totally up for it while having sex but once i cum and my wife goes to sit on my face i jump off the bed and shove her off me! We have found a way round it though...she just ties me too the bed so i cant escape! The ironic thing is after she has done it and my mojo is back i find it such a turn on. It really is like when i cum all the filth and kink is purged from my mind for a brief while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm the same and I'm female

Me too. "

Me too

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By *hillingbeanMan
over a year ago

somewhere not to far aaay in the midlands

Its all about satisfying the lady

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I want to make sure whoever I am with is satisfied too, so no I don't lose interest and have never done.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So most do this but how do we change it

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

Similar with me, which is why I like a woman to cum first (preferably multiple times).

After I cum just sit on my face. At least I can still be useful in some ways until the chemical cocktail has subsided

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

That describes my entire sex life with men.

Once the mans done thats it. Game over.

Women are not the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the more reason for lots of kissing and licking beforehand so both cum together

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By *ohn n jodie OP   Couple (MM)
over a year ago

warrington

Thanks for all the replies , seems its a 50/50 split on selfish guys who just want to empty there sack and not care if the women remains frustrated underneath or theres the ones who ensure the woman recieves her pleasure ( ideally together or cums first )

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By *eannaTV/TS
over a year ago

Cwmfelifach, nr Newport

I very rarely climax which is why I state on my profile your pleasure is pretty much gaurenteed, I believe in satisfying my partner first

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