FabSwingers.com forum: Messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A load of profiles on Fab say they don't want short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Well, after my latest (long) message got me yet another block, it's occurred to me that this could actually be the major reasons that people keep getting short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Who wants to waste a load of time creating a long, detailed introduction message, just to have it vanish with no response?

Yes I know many of you get inundated with messages, but if you get a considered, thought out message, you might like to consider all the above before you just delete-block

Just a thought

Discuss?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Don’t think people want long messages either! 2 or 3 sentences is good. It’s not always because people get too many messages that they ignore a message, they probably don’t like the look of the person’s profile.

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

I dont think people want diary entry messages. What i have noticed when these kind of threads pop up is a lot say they will look at a profile/pics before even going into reading the message. If something doesnt grab their attention from said profile/pics, they wont read the message and/or delete. Just take it they arent interested, block so you wont message again and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle with title of the message so bizarrely let me it when a profile says "must contain blah" in message title!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle with title of the message so bizarrely let me it when a profile says "must contain blah" in message title!"

Like it when....

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

I don't think messages need to be long just personal explaining what you can offer and what you are looking for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think messages need to be long just personal explaining what you can offer and what you are looking for"

That's what I meant by 'long' - not a one liner

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

[Removed by poster at 20/11/20 13:49:59]

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By *lasterman2000Man
over a year ago

Skipton

I had exactly the same happen to me...fine if I'm not what you are looking for but I had composed a decent length message as they said to not just send one liners.

Just deleted, but not blocked, and yes I'm sure she has loads of messages but I would have appreciated a thanks but no thanks...maybe that's what not blocking me meant. Does deflate you from putting in effort in in future.

And no I hadn't said anything about wanting to smash her back door in before anyone suggests I did.

#MFM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A load of profiles on Fab say they don't want short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Well, after my latest (long) message got me yet another block, it's occurred to me that this could actually be the major reasons that people keep getting short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Who wants to waste a load of time creating a long, detailed introduction message, just to have it vanish with no response?

Yes I know many of you get inundated with messages, but if you get a considered, thought out message, you might like to consider all the above before you just delete-block

Just a thought

Discuss?"

We answer every message. But if the person hasn't read our profile properly, it's very limited.

Works for us.

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By *lasterman2000Man
over a year ago

Skipton

"[Removed by poster at 20/11/20 13:49:59]"

Totally agree...that's what I do now

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I've effectively just copied and pasted this (the irony!!) From a similar thread on what to write in a message.

"Something original. And personal.

It's why, like asking for profile improvement advice, asking what to put in a message is pointless.

You'll just end up trying to recreate something someone else has tried before. And you're not them.

Just because a certain approach works for some doesn't mean it will for others.

If you try someone else's idea and it opens a door that door may well close quickly if you can't replicate the style of conversation.

Just be yourself. It'll either work or it won't."

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Would be nice though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To be honest op I don't know what people do want. I don't think it pays to get too hung up on the content of a first message, either as the sender or recipient. Surely it's what follows that counts. I do notice a lot of people asking for originality and specifically tailored messages but can't see the harm in cut and paste myself. In real life when I introduce myself I usually do it more of less the same way each time

"Hello, I'm the undisputed queen of the universe. I'm pleased to meet you."

I can't see he problem with introducing yourself like that on here, except the queen of the universe bit, there is only one of me after all.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Would be nice though."

Why?

If you sent 50 messages and had 50 'no thanks' replies how would that help or change the situation?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Sure, I understand that.

My point is, that by just deleting without responding, we may be making a rod for our own backs.

People who have been deleted & blocked with no response are less likely to put the effort in, going forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A load of profiles on Fab say they don't want short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Well, after my latest (long) message got me yet another block, it's occurred to me that this could actually be the major reasons that people keep getting short, 1 line or Copy & Pasted messages.

Who wants to waste a load of time creating a long, detailed introduction message, just to have it vanish with no response?

Yes I know many of you get inundated with messages, but if you get a considered, thought out message, you might like to consider all the above before you just delete-block

Just a thought

Discuss?"

Waste a load of time?

How long does it take to type a few sentences?

Alot of men on here wonder why they dont get anywhere. Its often because they cant be arsed to make any effort

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Sure, I understand that.

My point is, that by just deleting without responding, we may be making a rod for our own backs.

People who have been deleted & blocked with no response are less likely to put the effort in, going forward"

Sorry.

It's not my job to motivate others to put effort in just because they sent us a message we didn't ask for.

Motivation is the responsibility of the sender. They made a choice to initiate contact after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont think people want diary entry messages. What i have noticed when these kind of threads pop up is a lot say they will look at a profile/pics before even going into reading the message. If something doesnt grab their attention from said profile/pics, they wont read the message and/or delete. Just take it they arent interested, block so you wont message again and move on "
this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you sent 50 messages and had 50 'no thanks' replies how would that help or change the situation? "

Agreed.

Perhaps we need a '"no thanks" and delete' button to be able to respond in 1 click.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Would be nice though.

Why?

If you sent 50 messages and had 50 'no thanks' replies how would that help or change the situation?

Because we're human and it's nice to be acknowledged

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Sure, I understand that.

My point is, that by just deleting without responding, we may be making a rod for our own backs.

People who have been deleted & blocked with no response are less likely to put the effort in, going forward

Sorry.

It's not my job to motivate others to put effort in just because they sent us a message we didn't ask for.

Motivation is the responsibility of the sender. They made a choice to initiate contact after all."

Nobody is implying it's your job to motivate anyone.

Only to consider that collectively we may all be creating the very problem many complain about - short pointless messages clogging up mailboxes.

Sent you a message you didn't ask for???

IMHO Creating a profile *is* the invitation.

If someone doesn't want messages they should hide their profile, don't.you think?

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

There is no formula. What one woman likes to read is what others don’t. There’s no way of cracking the code regarding what to write or what to have on your profile.

Everyone wants different things. So rather than conform to what you think women want, be yourself and you’ll come across (no pun intended) a woman who wants you for you and what you can offer rather than writing something you think all women want to read.

That’s life. Happy fabbing

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

....and don’t get me started on replying/ignoring/deleting of messages

Personally I think a deletion is all that’s required if someone isn’t interested. Obviously reply if you’re a polite person who isn’t swamped with emails.

But, like in real life, people are different and have different responses to things.

Again, that’s life.

Happy place, happy place, fab swingers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Waste a load of time?

How long does it take to type a few sentences?

Alot of men on here wonder why they dont get anywhere. Its often because they cant be arsed to make any effort"

And this is exactly the point I was trying to make: those who *do* make the effort are demoralised after having messaged deleted without responses.

So they no longer see the point in making an effort.

So, by deleting without responding, you could be CREATING the very problem you want to go away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally pick up on a point in the profile about them and start from there. A 3/4 lines message with my pics. What pisses me off is some people who have nothing about themselves in their profile, but expect others to send a message that is different from just a "Hi" or "How are you?" What else can someone ask if there is nothing about them in their profile?

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By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

We appreciate a longer carefully crafted message when it comes from a guy that fits our criteria.

We will generally take the time to send a polite no thanks and thank them for taking the time to write it.

However

If we receive a long carefully crafted message from someone who does not fit our stated criteria it generally gets deleted without reply and sometimes blocked.

OP, are you making sure you are messaging people who are looking for someone like you? Age range, distance, looks ect.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"We appreciate a longer carefully crafted message when it comes from a guy that fits our criteria.

We will generally take the time to send a polite no thanks and thank them for taking the time to write it.

However

If we receive a long carefully crafted message from someone who does not fit our stated criteria it generally gets deleted without reply and sometimes blocked.

OP, are you making sure you are messaging people who are looking for someone like you? Age range, distance, looks ect. "

This is a biggy, many seem to think by sending a nice rounded message it will somehow get them through the fact they do not fit the profile wants.

Make sure you fit first, then send the message or it's you that are a timewaster not the recipient & you are only wasting your own time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, are you making sure you are messaging people who are looking for someone like you? Age range, distance, looks ect. "

Absolutely.

Some are brand new and have very little to go by on their profile

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Sure, I understand that.

My point is, that by just deleting without responding, we may be making a rod for our own backs.

People who have been deleted & blocked with no response are less likely to put the effort in, going forward

Sorry.

It's not my job to motivate others to put effort in just because they sent us a message we didn't ask for.

Motivation is the responsibility of the sender. They made a choice to initiate contact after all.

Nobody is implying it's your job to motivate anyone.

Only to consider that collectively we may all be creating the very problem many complain about - short pointless messages clogging up mailboxes.

Sent you a message you didn't ask for???

IMHO Creating a profile *is* the invitation.

If someone doesn't want messages they should hide their profile, don't.you think?"

Hide their profile? No.

Browse ours. You'll see why every message we've had since the start of the week (bar one from a friend who came to our wedding) has been deleted without reply. Why should I hide our profile when we don't want to and there's clear enough info on there saying what's happen to messages.

Just because someone has a profile it isn't an invitation to message.

Maybe that's the problem. People assume contact is wanted when it's often not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll also add that the worlds greatest message will often get a delete and a block if the recipient isn't the slightest bit interested in you.

It is what it is. And always will be.

Nobody is owed a reply.

Sure, I understand that.

My point is, that by just deleting without responding, we may be making a rod for our own backs.

People who have been deleted & blocked with no response are less likely to put the effort in, going forward

Sorry.

It's not my job to motivate others to put effort in just because they sent us a message we didn't ask for.

Motivation is the responsibility of the sender. They made a choice to initiate contact after all.

Nobody is implying it's your job to motivate anyone.

Only to consider that collectively we may all be creating the very problem many complain about - short pointless messages clogging up mailboxes.

Sent you a message you didn't ask for???

IMHO Creating a profile *is* the invitation.

If someone doesn't want messages they should hide their profile, don't.you think?

Hide their profile? No.

Just because someone has a profile it isn't an invitation to message.

Maybe that's the problem. People assume contact is wanted when it's often not?

You're totally avoiding the OP now, and shifting the discussion to you personally.

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