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Delete or not to delete?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get so many messages i can't answer them all so often i simply delete, especially if the guy doesn't match my preferences (which are clearly written on my profile). If you read the FAQ you will know that no reply means no thanks.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply "

No you aren't alone in that.

Would you genuinely prefer the same number of no messages as deleted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the sheer amount of messages that's a problem for some.

I get over 3,000 profile views a day and I simply wouldn't have the time to reply to all messages.

I expect the girls here are in the same situation.

I wouldn't take it personally.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We get about one message a day. We don't always reply for various reasons

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dont take it personally its just a pet peve of mine

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By *osineCouple
over a year ago

Weston-Super-Mare

I love leaving the messages up and seeing how many send the same copied and pasted message

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

If someone chooses not to reply it is a polite no thank you. Not this time. Some people choose to block as well if they feel its a never ever. That's fair enough. I can block someone for any reason too, like if they chose not to reply and it annoyed me. That way I wouldn't run the risk of being ignored a second time by the same profile. Getting a reply is not important, especially a negative one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste "

Although I delete alot of messages I always read them.

I'd always reply to a one like you have exampled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the sheer amount of messages that's a problem for some.

I get over 3,000 profile views a day and I simply wouldn't have the time to reply to all messages.

I expect the girls here are in the same situation.

I wouldn't take it personally.

"

This is the thing I get entirely. Occasionally when I’ve met single females we’ve compared Fab notes and shown each other our profiles on each other’s phones. In the time it’d had taken us to meet and get chatting, they could have received 50 messages. Imagine that over the course of a full day. Reading, let alone replying would be a full time job.

As awful as it is and as hard as it is to get popular people’s attention, it’s just something to get used to

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By *essica FlabbitWoman
over a year ago

west midlands/shropshire


"I love leaving the messages up and seeing how many send the same copied and pasted message"

Yes this!

It's amazing that they forget x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste "

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not about people up there own arse...if a guy messages me I reply with a thank you but not for me

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

A non reply is a no thank you isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was agreeing with you and backing your message so don't get your comment...some people are up there own arsenal, like you say your new so you'll come to realise that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A non reply is a no thank you isn't it? "

Maybe a no thanks and a reason...put as much effort in as the person who sent the message maybe?

Feedback?

Nice to be Nice is my motto

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

No OP, I don't think you're alone in liking a reply at all. I do think that when a woman does reply and states her lack of interest it can open her up to abuse. And yes, the sheer volume of messages doesn't help either (even though filters should be used more frequently).

I think on a site like this it's something you get used to, don't check your sent box, don't have expectations of others. Focus on enjoying your time and not people replying. x

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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago

South Fife

It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I tried to give you a thumbs up but couldn't privately reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not about people up there own arse...if a guy messages me I reply with a thank you but not for me "

How many messages do you get a day though? I bet it’s not the 100 or so single females get. Imagine having to reply to ALL of those

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By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

As has been said many, many times before on forum threads into this subject, the Fab FAQ's state that no reply = not interested.

I tried replying to all my messages once. it took me all day and because I'd replied with a polite no thank you, I got a reply to about 75% of my no thank you replies too which gave me even more messages to answer.

Some were polite.

Some were reminding me that I'm fat and they wouldn't touch me with a bargepole anyway (and other such abuse - slag, whore, cunt.... people tend to prove why they were unsuitable in the first place)

Some wanted a reason why I'd said no to them. I'm sorry but I don't have to justify myself. No is a complete sentence in itself.

Some wanted to change my mind and were quite passive aggressive.

So I say on my profile that no answer = not interested and that is not unreasonable. If anyone chooses to message me, that is their choice, nothing is promised, or guaranteed.

There's so much entitlement. No one owes anyone on here anything.

And yes, I message first and some of my messages get ignored too. C'est la vie. I'm not going to get upset about that and if I ever do, then it may be time to decide whether this is actually the right site for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

"

Nail on the head!!

I've sort of give up messaging due to the above...I'll rarely send a message and if I do ill delete it from my sent box

There are some genuine people on here that want to meet but there are also a lot of fantasists who are here for the fabs and praise they get

It is what it is

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

If I send a message and if its deleted then I block them as I'm not to there liking so I won't waste my and there time by messaging them again in the future,

The ones that reply and say no thank you, il thank them for replying and wish them happy swinging,

It don't take long to reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I send a message and if its deleted then I block them as I'm not to there liking so I won't waste my and there time by messaging them again in the future,

The ones that reply and say no thank you, il thank them for replying and wish them happy swinging,

It don't take long to reply "
perfect response

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

Personally I think winks are underutilized. If I see a profile I like I can wink then. They can skim read mine in about 10 seconds and if they like me they can wink back. I'll then take that as my cue to write them a nice personal message and see if it leads anywhere. I fully get that no reply means not interested but it's frustrating to find the enthusiasm to write a decent personal message and get no response and in some cases not even read.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im gonna guess us guys dont get 80% of messages women get on here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A non reply is a no thank you isn't it? "

Not always, sometimes times it's a case of too many messages, delete the badgers.

If it's opened and deleted without reply, that's a clear and present fuck off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it's just easier to delete. I always try to reply even with a polite no thanks. Which often seems to prompt abuse or stupid, (why not) (you wouldnt be disappointed) etc messages.

J

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By *ingleman2020Man
over a year ago

UK

I take a delete as a polite no. But it’s the hope when it’s read and not deleted! Lol

To be honest I don’t blame people for not replying, you see on the forums the amount of abuse people get back, it’s just easier to not risk a rude response back!

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By *edVelveteenCouple
over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

Fab World is very different to Real World. If I said hi to someone as a friendly gesture in passing in the street and was completely ignored or got blocked (shown the hand or got the head turn) I'd be most offended. But here in Fab the ignore and block translate as answers and are to be accepted. That's just the way it is.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

A delete is a polite "no thanks" ... it is hard for couples or ladies to reply to each and every message. We try - but it is not always possible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I understand the getting abuse but those arseholes spoil it for us not so arsehole ish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to always reply,but one two many abusive messages put pay to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women can't win on here. I get that it's frustrating for men to keep sending messages and not get replies but if they were more selective about who they sent them to (and the message contents!) us women wouldn't get so overwhelmed. Often men message us multiple times over the course of weeks/months/a year, they don't check the message history, just spam away, so a block stops that. If we say no thanks we get asked why.

I've just had it now, a man I've no interest in, messaged to "compliment" me. As soon as I said thank you, I get a photo of him and then I have to do the "thanks buy no thanks" thing. If I'd have blocked him I'd have avoided feeling bad saying no. What would make him feel better - the block without seeing him or the no thanks after seeing him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Its a tough one....maybe im wrong in wanting a reply? I can except that but im disappointed in other men who ruin this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a tough one....maybe im wrong in wanting a reply? I can except that but im disappointed in other men who ruin this site "

Just because you want something, that doesn't mean you're entitled to it.

I can empathise with men being disappointed but equally men need to understand both the volume and content of messages women get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women can't win on here. I get that it's frustrating for men to keep sending messages and not get replies but if they were more selective about who they sent them to (and the message contents!) us women wouldn't get so overwhelmed. Often men message us multiple times over the course of weeks/months/a year, they don't check the message history, just spam away, so a block stops that. If we say no thanks we get asked why.

I've just had it now, a man I've no interest in, messaged to "compliment" me. As soon as I said thank you, I get a photo of him and then I have to do the "thanks buy no thanks" thing. If I'd have blocked him I'd have avoided feeling bad saying no. What would make him feel better - the block without seeing him or the no thanks after seeing him?"

I can see where your coming from but men can't win either....

We read profiles and it says no 1 liners so ill read profile see what she's into and type a message which relates to her profile so that whole process could take 5 mins possibly more, then you get no reply or blocked which is frustrating especially when me personally ill message women that I don't see as out of my league but women that are comparable to women I've dated in real life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its a tough one....maybe im wrong in wanting a reply? I can except that but im disappointed in other men who ruin this site

Just because you want something, that doesn't mean you're entitled to it.

Dont feel im entitled to anything...just a shame its like it is

I can empathise with men being disappointed but equally men need to understand both the volume and content of messages women get."

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

I’m not bothered if I don’t get a reply. The rules of fab do say nobody has to reply. Therefore nobody is doing anything wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally try to respond to messages where the man in question has obviously read my profile and made an effort with his message.

99% of messages I receive tend to fail on at least one of those.

I'm perhaps fortunate in that I don't get a lot of abuse through turning down men, but I have received quite a bit of abuse from men who don't met my preferences and get angry about it. So yeah, it's a big problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude"

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As has been said many, many times before on forum threads into this subject, the Fab FAQ's state that no reply = not interested.

I tried replying to all my messages once. it took me all day and because I'd replied with a polite no thank you, I got a reply to about 75% of my no thank you replies too which gave me even more messages to answer.

Some were polite.

Some were reminding me that I'm fat and they wouldn't touch me with a bargepole anyway (and other such abuse - slag, whore, cunt.... people tend to prove why they were unsuitable in the first place)

Some wanted a reason why I'd said no to them. I'm sorry but I don't have to justify myself. No is a complete sentence in itself.

Some wanted to change my mind and were quite passive aggressive.

So I say on my profile that no answer = not interested and that is not unreasonable. If anyone chooses to message me, that is their choice, nothing is promised, or guaranteed.

There's so much entitlement. No one owes anyone on here anything.

And yes, I message first and some of my messages get ignored too. C'est la vie. I'm not going to get upset about that and if I ever do, then it may be time to decide whether this is actually the right site for me."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I send a message and if its deleted then I block them as I'm not to there liking so I won't waste my and there time by messaging them again in the future,

The ones that reply and say no thank you, il thank them for replying and wish them happy swinging,

It don't take long to reply "

It takes ages if you have had over a 100 messages that day or even that hour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im not saying whats right or wrong im saying I dont like but thats that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks."

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply "

would you expect a reply to a hi

or a hi u ok? it doesn't work like that.. single blokes are in the whole always looking whereas esp couples may only be actively looking once in a while.. not rude, just life

d

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply

would you expect a reply to a hi

or a hi u ok? it doesn't work like that.. single blokes are in the whole always looking whereas esp couples may only be actively looking once in a while.. not rude, just life

d"
I

I dont send just a hi

It was just a subject to start a conversation

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x"

and what do you do when you get the polite" no thank you "message? I ask this because women friends then get a further message thanking them for replying and glogging up their inbox again . Restraint is needed when sending messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x

and what do you do when you get the polite" no thank you "message? I ask this because women friends then get a further message thanking them for replying and glogging up their inbox again . Restraint is needed when sending messages. "

I personally don't reply but im grateful that someone of taken the time to message has taken the time to read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x

and what do you do when you get the polite" no thank you "message? I ask this because women friends then get a further message thanking them for replying and glogging up their inbox again . Restraint is needed when sending messages. "

I don't reply or say fair enough. .is that ok for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend my entire life being polite. The majority of time I send a thanks but I'm not interested message back I get abuse. I'm sick of it.

I'd rather not open myself up to the abuse. I'm pretty sure one of the rules is if I don't reply its a no thanks, so why should I have to message that again? I don't owe you anything just because you feel like you are being nice to me.

You aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea, the beauty of messaging someone online is that I don't feel forced into a conversation that I don't want to have.

I get it, it's frustrating, but if this is not for you then it's not for you, maybe look for a new way? When clubs open up, maybe look at those and build up relationships that way.

I'm sorry you feel this way, but people you message don't owe you a reply. That's their choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I spend my entire life being polite. The majority of time I send a thanks but I'm not interested message back I get abuse. I'm sick of it.

I'd rather not open myself up to the abuse. I'm pretty sure one of the rules is if I don't reply its a no thanks, so why should I have to message that again? I don't owe you anything just because you feel like you are being nice to me.

You aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea, the beauty of messaging someone online is that I don't feel forced into a conversation that I don't want to have.

I get it, it's frustrating, but if this is not for you then it's not for you, maybe look for a new way? When clubs open up, maybe look at those and build up relationships that way.

I'm sorry you feel this way, but people you message don't owe you a reply. That's their choice "

I totally get it just wanted to know other people's opion of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x"

So how do i manage that if i have had 80 messages in an hour (thats with filters on) ?

I reply to the guys that im interested in, not the ones im not interested in. According to Fab i am being polite and using the site the correct way

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I don’t reply if I’m not interested because based on my experience it invites further comment from the person who’s messaged. Often it’s a challenge or invite to still chat, none of which I’m interested in. I imagine that this is why it’s in the Fab rules that no reply means no thanks. It’s tried and tested over the years.

Having a preference for a reply is absolutely fine, but expecting that people will send you one is not. You should send your message expecting to hear nothing back unless the person is interested in you. If that approach upsets you, then is Fab the place for you? The rules clearly sets out the way things should work and the part about no reply is explicit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x

So how do i manage that if i have had 80 messages in an hour (thats with filters on) ?

I reply to the guys that im interested in, not the ones im not interested in. According to Fab i am being polite and using the site the correct way "

I get it now...just asking what others thought....

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"A non reply is a no thank you isn't it?

Maybe a no thanks and a reason...put as much effort in as the person who sent the message maybe?

Feedback?

Nice to be Nice is my motto "

Hilarious. As much effort as “hi”? Literally opening the message then deleting it is probably more effort than the sender put in.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

So tell me guys, all of you who want a “polite no thanks”. Where do you stand on the following? A man messages me, it’s a decent message, he’s attached a face pic, I like the look of him, and I like his profile. I reply, with face pic. A couple of messages pass, and he stops responding. Is this rude? Is this a timewaster? Should I start a thread complaining about it? Curious to know what you think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont take it personally its just a pet peve of mine"

I quite like seeing a sent message gets deleted. It shows me it's been read and, if they have not sent a reply, they have no interest. So I've got something out of it. I usually then block those profiles, so I don't waste their time or mine contacting them again.

You need to realise OP that ladies on here can get hundreds of messages a day. Consider yourself lucky if the message is even read!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dont take it personally its just a pet peve of mine

I quite like seeing a sent message gets deleted. It shows me it's been read and, if they have not sent a reply, they have no interest. So I've got something out of it. I usually then block those profiles, so I don't waste their time or mine contacting them again.

You need to realise OP that ladies on here can get hundreds of messages a day. Consider yourself lucky if the message is even read!"

Yeah...this is the forum and im just creating a topic to talk about

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By *mnipotent_BehemothMan
over a year ago

near Merry Hill shopping centre

I don’t mind a read and delete at least you know that it’s a dead end and they are not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us we are not always looking to meet every day of every week so random messages when we aren’t looking are usually deleted, for us it’s not a platform for general social chatting if we have no intention of meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On average I get over 500 messages a day. That's not me being big headed as I have other female friends on here that get the same amount. You can read a message and by time you've read it there's another messages been sent and waiting to be read/replied too. So it would he a full time job to answer all

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

Nail on the head!!

I've sort of give up messaging due to the above...I'll rarely send a message and if I do ill delete it from my sent box

There are some genuine people on here that want to meet but there are also a lot of fantasists who are here for the fabs and praise they get

It is what it is "

It's not really 'nail on the head though'.

You may think you fit their needs but if they're not replying evidently they don't agree. No profile will ever contain every specific detail someone is looking for in enough detail for anyone to guarantee they fit the bill. In the case of couples you have to fit two people's wants.

This is the hardest thing for people to understand with online contact sites. What looks to be a perfect match in theory is often far from it. It just takes one thing to make someone decide you're not for them and 99% of the time you'll never know what that is.

If a deleted message or no reply causes stress or frustration then maybe sending messages is a bad idea. Just sit and wait for them to come to you. Just don't start a thread saying 'why am.i not getting any messages' if they don't start hitting your inbox.

A

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

If we get a message, we do are best to reply even if even we're not interested in them.

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By *amaraBeaverbankWoman
over a year ago

Benidorm Spain

I’m conflicted. Personally I feel rude not replying BUT I have neither the time nor the energy for the follow up guys.

I’ve had abuse and name calling from guys I’ve rejected, and from those I’ve simply deleted as well incidentally. I hate that awful, entitled attitude some guys have, but it does prove I’ve dodged a bullet. Those guys I leave a personal note and block.

The ones that annoy me most though are the guys who take a no thanks as a challenge, an invite to try chatting more, or the dreaded “what wrong with me?” guys.

Makes me feel like a grade A bitch saying no, but I’m not here to chat, and I’m not meeting if I’m not attracted.

Delete after reading the message and their profile is infinitely easier all round

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Its not about them being up their own arse and rude ... it because in an hour they could have got hundred messages and its not possible to answer every message or indeed any message. Read the FAQ. No reply means no thanks.

That's your opinion and That's my opinion... its nice to be nice

I've spent 5 minutes to personalise and word a message the best I can .. common courtesy is to send a no thanks which takes 2 seconds..maybe I'm to nice and polite for my own good x

So how do i manage that if i have had 80 messages in an hour (thats with filters on) ?

I reply to the guys that im interested in, not the ones im not interested in. According to Fab i am being polite and using the site the correct way "

This

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By *moothGrooveWoman
over a year ago

Durham

I get ridiculous amounts of messages, and it is just not possible to reply 'thanks but no thanks' to everyones who's not for me.

Also, it has sadly been my experience that when I do try to be polite and do the above half it opens the floodgates to a barrage of abuse. I'm a fake, up my own arse, cock tease, picture collector, prostitute.... I could go on.

On the rare occasion its obvious a gentleman has read my profile and they've bothered to write one themselves, we seem compatible and they've put more effort than 'WUU2' or the likes, then I'll happily responsed.

Unfortunately that many people go for the scattergun approach with their messaging that it's difficult to pick out the decent ones so I end up deleting in bulk

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By *7pete27Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply "
your right mate, most either delete or not bother replying, but I’ve had some really polite people as well, so that makes up for it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

Nail on the head!!

I've sort of give up messaging due to the above...I'll rarely send a message and if I do ill delete it from my sent box

There are some genuine people on here that want to meet but there are also a lot of fantasists who are here for the fabs and praise they get

It is what it is

It's not really 'nail on the head though'.

You may think you fit their needs but if they're not replying evidently they don't agree. No profile will ever contain every specific detail someone is looking for in enough detail for anyone to guarantee they fit the bill. In the case of couples you have to fit two people's wants.

This is the hardest thing for people to understand with online contact sites. What looks to be a perfect match in theory is often far from it. It just takes one thing to make someone decide you're not for them and 99% of the time you'll never know what that is.

If a deleted message or no reply causes stress or frustration then maybe sending messages is a bad idea. Just sit and wait for them to come to you. Just don't start a thread saying 'why am.i not getting any messages' if they don't start hitting your inbox.

A"

Thats my opinion which I'm allowed on here (I think)

Also I didnt start thread

I've also give up sending messages due to lack of replies, I never punch above my weight i stick to messaging women comparable to my past relationships etc...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t give up!

It takes a while but one day it will just flow, also did your parents raise a quitter?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I started the post just to see what the vibe was....not to say who is right or wrong

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

I get loads of messages every day and I try to reply to them all but I don't ping pong with a guy who I'm not interested in and if he keeps messaging me regardless then I block

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

"

No reply means no interest no matter how the message has been constructed.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"A non reply is a no thank you isn't it?

Maybe a no thanks and a reason...put as much effort in as the person who sent the message maybe?

Feedback?

Nice to be Nice is my motto "

Nah! Didn't ask to be messaged and it's totally unreasonable to be expecting a detailed reply, that comes across as entitled! A non reply means no thanks regardless of your efforts. That's on your own back to deal with as ours when the same treatment is dealt our way. IT'S NO BIG DEAL!

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

No reply means no interest no matter how the message has been constructed. "

I disagree, if a profile specifically asks for a well constructed & thought out message & amongst your hundred messages ignoring that of “faf?, in a hotel nearby meet now? nice tits!” Etc etc there are these well constructed thought out messages & they just get deleted along with the dross what are you saying silently to that person?

To me it says “I looked at your pics & no”.

So why ask for the decent message? Why not be shallow & say “Fit my profile wants? Like what you see say hi & i’ll have a looksee”.

We’ve invariably found though that many that have asked for decent first messages turn out to have all the conversational skills of a freshly squashed frog.

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate sending a message only to get deleted...am I alone in liking a reply? Even a no reply "

You know all those spermatozoa that swim up to an ovum and try desperately to get in, then just one does and the wall thickens and becomes impenetrable, that’s how it is. That completely explains fab in terms of the proportions of guys desperate for a gratuitous fuck compared to the pussy that’s available, the pussy, no matter what the quality has all the choice and that’s just how it is; just sit back, enjoy the ride and hope, fab like nature itself is uncaring.

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By *inna and SaintCouple
over a year ago

Sherbourne


"So tell me guys, all of you who want a “polite no thanks”. Where do you stand on the following? A man messages me, it’s a decent message, he’s attached a face pic, I like the look of him, and I like his profile. I reply, with face pic. A couple of messages pass, and he stops responding. Is this rude? Is this a timewaster? Should I start a thread complaining about it? Curious to know what you think."

Yes I would consider that rude in the extreme.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"So tell me guys, all of you who want a “polite no thanks”. Where do you stand on the following? A man messages me, it’s a decent message, he’s attached a face pic, I like the look of him, and I like his profile. I reply, with face pic. A couple of messages pass, and he stops responding. Is this rude? Is this a timewaster? Should I start a thread complaining about it? Curious to know what you think.

Yes I would consider that rude in the extreme."

Tbh I don’t care too much anymore, maybe a bit of irritation but nothing more than that. I was more trying to make a point to the men on the thread complaining about how women behave, but it seems they only think it’s rude when it’s us ignoring them. Thanks though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It annoys me only when someone specifically asks for no one liners and to put some effort in to the message. I then spend a lot of time reading the profile to check I am the right type and to write a decent message that reflects what they want and what I can offer. This all takes valuable time just to be deleted. The people who specifically ask for this should at least reply. I do understand that ladies and couples do get lots of messsages though.

No reply means no interest no matter how the message has been constructed. "

In that case you may as well put 1 letter of your choosing in the subject and 1 in the message box if it doesn't matter how its constructed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A non reply is a no thank you isn't it?

Maybe a no thanks and a reason...put as much effort in as the person who sent the message maybe?

Feedback?

Nice to be Nice is my motto

Nah! Didn't ask to be messaged and it's totally unreasonable to be expecting a detailed reply, that comes across as entitled! A non reply means no thanks regardless of your efforts. That's on your own back to deal with as ours when the same treatment is dealt our way. IT'S NO BIG DEAL! "

Never felt entitled in my life and especially on here...I'm a nice modest guy who doesn't punch above his weight, I very rarely message on here anymore....it isn't a big deal at all your right but I have my opinion and you have yours... simple

Were both right in our own eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So tell me guys, all of you who want a “polite no thanks”. Where do you stand on the following? A man messages me, it’s a decent message, he’s attached a face pic, I like the look of him, and I like his profile. I reply, with face pic. A couple of messages pass, and he stops responding. Is this rude? Is this a timewaster? Should I start a thread complaining about it? Curious to know what you think."

yes very rude and classic wank fodder. His few messages a prolonged wank? Some blokes esp at moment are lonely and horny and looking for an outlet.. ruder than you ignoring

d

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude"

Okay so I get around 150 messages a day assume I spend 30 seconds to 1 minute on each message that’s - 1 hour 15 mins to 2.5 hours admin a day for me. Am I on this site to interact with people I am interested in or reply ‘no thanks’ to people I’m not. I don’t have 2 hours a day to reply I’m sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Okay so I get around 150 messages a day assume I spend 30 seconds to 1 minute on each message that’s - 1 hour 15 mins to 2.5 hours admin a day for me. Am I on this site to interact with people I am interested in or reply ‘no thanks’ to people I’m not. I don’t have 2 hours a day to reply I’m sorry. "

Fair enough...neither do I

Your opinion above

My opinion further up

Us men allowed to have opinions/preferences on here...genuine question this ..are we?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Of your 150 messages how many do you think could you tell are crap from the first line or even its header? Quiet a few I would think.

I don’t think anyone is asking people to reply to all, just those that have responded to requests for a “Decent well thought out” message with a decent well thought out message.

S

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By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

We try to reply to all well thought out messages if possible the problem we often find is that 90 percent of our abusive messages come after we send a thanks but no thanks reply so often its just easier to ignore or block the sender if you have no intention of ever meeting them

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Of your 150 messages how many do you think could you tell are crap from the first line or even its header? Quiet a few I would think.

I don’t think anyone is asking people to reply to all, just those that have responded to requests for a “Decent well thought out” message with a decent well thought out message.

S"

Most you can tell especially as I delete any with a cock for a pfp but even then if I have a spare five minutes I’d prefer to be on forums or chat to people I know rather than inbox admin - especially now when we can’t meet anyway (and chances of men wanting to chat for two months before actually meeting are slim) so I don’t really pay much attention to inbox then before you know it there’s 600 odd so I just mass delete.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Okay so I get around 150 messages a day assume I spend 30 seconds to 1 minute on each message that’s - 1 hour 15 mins to 2.5 hours admin a day for me. Am I on this site to interact with people I am interested in or reply ‘no thanks’ to people I’m not. I don’t have 2 hours a day to reply I’m sorry.

Fair enough...neither do I

Your opinion above

My opinion further up

Us men allowed to have opinions/preferences on here...genuine question this ..are we? "

Of course but there are reasons that women don’t reply it isn’t to do with anything other than sheer volume. Nothing to do with rudeness or arrogance it’s simply using the site in the way we want to rather than the way that people message us want to.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"So tell me guys, all of you who want a “polite no thanks”. Where do you stand on the following? A man messages me, it’s a decent message, he’s attached a face pic, I like the look of him, and I like his profile. I reply, with face pic. A couple of messages pass, and he stops responding. Is this rude? Is this a timewaster? Should I start a thread complaining about it? Curious to know what you think.

yes very rude and classic wank fodder. His few messages a prolonged wank? Some blokes esp at moment are lonely and horny and looking for an outlet.. ruder than you ignoring

d"

Fortunately it doesn’t happen often as I don’t reply to many!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well thanks to everyone who posted it has been interesting, everyone is correct, its upto the message recipient as to what they do

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/20 12:06:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I would prefer to be blocked.i take the time to read a profile before messaging,so I send a message to that person, never copy and paste

Totally agree...thats why I hardly send messages anymore...with them not replying its like making them feel like they've got the power and there the more attractive person in the conversation....if you type out a well thought out message and they don't even say no thanks (don't care how many messages they get) its just plain up there own arse and rude

Okay so I get around 150 messages a day assume I spend 30 seconds to 1 minute on each message that’s - 1 hour 15 mins to 2.5 hours admin a day for me. Am I on this site to interact with people I am interested in or reply ‘no thanks’ to people I’m not. I don’t have 2 hours a day to reply I’m sorry.

Fair enough...neither do I

Your opinion above

My opinion further up

Us men allowed to have opinions/preferences on here...genuine question this ..are we?

Of course but there are reasons that women don’t reply it isn’t to do with anything other than sheer volume. Nothing to do with rudeness or arrogance it’s simply using the site in the way we want to rather than the way that people message us want to. "

Fair do's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trouble is, if I send a polite "thanks, but no" message, I then get a reply...and on it goes. So I just delete now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Trouble is, if I send a polite "thanks, but no" message, I then get a reply...and on it goes. So I just delete now. "

Yes you do lol

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