FabSwingers.com forum: Best 1st messages to a woman

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any one else have the trouble you message woman on hear but because they get 1000s of messages you don't get a look in ..or because men are creepy on hear they put you in that category and you never get a reply ..u got to message 50 woman (same people on hear) to get a reply of 1 that don't go no where ...so the question is what's the best 1st message that half ups your chances of getting a reply lol some don't even check your profile

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I find putting words into a sentence really helps

When you send a message, especially to a single woman, as they get so many, there’s (potentially) four things that they’ll take into account.

1) Your message - Is it interesting, is it different from the usual messages they receive. Does it show that you’ve read their profile.

2) Your pics - Are they interesting, do they reflect you, how much effort have you made, are they full of cock pics.

3) Your profile - do you say what you are after, what you can offer. Does it give an indication of your personality. Is it full of spelling mistakes, or abbreviations...so they feel they are on the same wavelength as you.

4) Green arrow - do your views reflect their views. Do they resonate with the things you say or are some things crass.

It’s like a house of cards, especially for the first 3....fail on 1 and it’ll come tumbling down, so you’ll likely receive no reply or you are reducing the likelihood of a reply.

Have the first 3, you’ll probably get a reply.

They like the first 3, you’ve got your foot in the door...they may then look at 4.

You are messaging someone who receives hundreds of messages a day...hundreds! So you have to give yourself the best opportunity that you stand out and be noticed. So don’t moan about not receiving a reply if you aren’t making an effort in the above areas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking from the view point of someone who gets hundreds of messages a day:

Before I even read the message I click their name and look at their profile.

Verified? Good pics? A nice bit of info? (not long winded)

If the message is "hi" "how's u" "meet now" "nice pics" etc = instant delete.

If they have taken the time to write a nice little message that's funny, or tailored to me I reply.

I want people to talk to me like I'm a person, not just a fuck toy lol

Try to stand out from the crowd, make the message tailored to their profile, funny, with a little hint of tease to spark some interest.

Good luck

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I always check their profile before reading a message,I want to see that they've put the effort into their profile as that gives me some background about them.

If there's good pictures and interesting text I more likely to be interested in the content of the message, if not I just skip to the next one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may sound like a hypocrite saying have nice profile text when mine is crap.

But that's because I don't do searches and send messages.

They come to me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An empty boring profile with no pics would be a delete from me.

Your profile is lazy so why would someone be interested in jumping you if you look lazy and boring?

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple
over a year ago

North West

A bit of effort... i mean it seems most men see that tiny square with a pair of tits in it and instantly send one of the following:

Dick pic

Hey

Dick pic

Hows you

There massive (not they’re

)

I’d ruin you

More dick pics

Meet now?

Got £500 waiting

Fake profile

Wanna fuck

Ill steal your wife

Tiny dick pic

You make hard

Make me cum

Fuck my ass

Ill make you cum

Wow

Dick pic

I appreciate you’re here to get your end away, it’s a swingers site... but we women work differently to you men.

If i were to send a titty pic, i can pretty much get your attention. Women do not like dick pics (not straight away anyhow) chill out, say something random or funny. String together a sentence.

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over.

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple
over a year ago

North West

Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"A bit of effort... i mean it seems most men see that tiny square with a pair of tits in it and instantly send one of the following:

Dick pic

Hey

Dick pic

Hows you

There massive (not they’re

)

I’d ruin you

More dick pics

Meet now?

Got £500 waiting

Fake profile

Wanna fuck

Ill steal your wife

Tiny dick pic

You make hard

Make me cum

Fuck my ass

Ill make you cum

Wow

Dick pic

I appreciate you’re here to get your end away, it’s a swingers site... but we women work differently to you men.

If i were to send a titty pic, i can pretty much get your attention. Women do not like dick pics (not straight away anyhow) chill out, say something random or funny. String together a sentence.

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over."

So block single men messaging you. Easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh"

What someone asks me "what you looking for"

I reply

"Someone who doesn't need to ask a Tgirl that question"

It shuts them right up

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple
over a year ago

North West

"A bit of effort... i mean it seems most men see that tiny square with a pair of tits in it and instantly send one of the following:

Dick pic

Hey

Dick pic

Hows you

There massive (not they’re

)

I’d ruin you

More dick pics

Meet now?

Got £500 waiting

Fake profile

Wanna fuck

Ill steal your wife

Tiny dick pic

You make hard

Make me cum

Fuck my ass

Ill make you cum

Wow

Dick pic

I appreciate you’re here to get your end away, it’s a swingers site... but we women work differently to you men.

If i were to send a titty pic, i can pretty much get your attention. Women do not like dick pics (not straight away anyhow) chill out, say something random or funny. String together a sentence.

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over.

So block single men messaging you. Easy."

But then that spoils the chances of the ones who actually make an effort....?

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

It really has to stand out. For me humour is definitely key. Don’t write your life story in a first message but don’t just use “hi”. try and show your personality and definitely don’t ask “what are you looking for” it just seems you haven’t bothered to read the persons profile and if you don’t fit into what they want don’t message.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

There is no message that will miraculously get everyone to answer you. Before I even open a message I look at the person's profile. If I don't like the profile then chances are I've already made my mind up not chat. Often I'll send a no thanks message . If the message is just hi or a faf then i just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any one else have the trouble you message woman on hear but because they get 1000s of messages you don't get a look in ..or because men are creepy on hear they put you in that category and you never get a reply ..u got to message 50 woman (same people on hear) to get a reply of 1 that don't go no where ...so the question is what's the best 1st message that half ups your chances of getting a reply lol some don't even check your profile"

Everything the ladies have said here is what would be deemed to be common decency and you would do well to heed their advice.

To stand out above common decency would take a little more effort on your part, which is basic respect.

To stand out above basic respect would be to inject some attractive personal qualities that would match the persona in her profile.

She has taken the trouble to tell you about herself and that's already a head start from approaching her without knowing anything about her at all.

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By *peak and SpellCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich, SE LONDON

For us if you make it:

Humourous

Friendly

Flirty

Complimentary

Profile specific (i.e. You've read it)

Spell checked!

And not crude

Together including a face pic (not penis) you will increase your chances of a response.

A lazy cut'n'paste message just gets binned.

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By *ast FredyMan
over a year ago

southend on sea

It’s funny how men are criticised for bad messages when most I get from women just say “Hey” double standards ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A bit of effort... i mean it seems most men see that tiny square with a pair of tits in it and instantly send one of the following:

Dick pic

Hey

Dick pic

Hows you

There massive (not they’re

)

I’d ruin you

More dick pics

Meet now?

Got £500 waiting

Fake profile

Wanna fuck

Ill steal your wife

Tiny dick pic

You make hard

Make me cum

Fuck my ass

Ill make you cum

Wow

Dick pic

I appreciate you’re here to get your end away, it’s a swingers site... but we women work differently to you men.

If i were to send a titty pic, i can pretty much get your attention. Women do not like dick pics (not straight away anyhow) chill out, say something random or funny. String together a sentence.

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over."

£509.62 surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s funny how men are criticised for bad messages when most I get from women just say “Hey” double standards ?"

Had a "chat" with a lady who would only message back using one or two words max so I gave up.

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By *atBottomGirlsWoman
over a year ago

St Austell-ish

"It’s funny how men are criticised for bad messages when most I get from women just say “Hey” double standards ?"

I think this is the first time I've ever heard a man complain about the quality of a message that a woman sent first.

(and do you respond when she just says Hey?)

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By *ast FredyMan
over a year ago

southend on sea

No not normally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I either seem to be in an unfortunate area, or have the same luck as the person above me with one to five word replies!

Sometimes my messages just gets deleted without even viewing my profile or anything, and I never put a dick pic unless the profile specifically asks for that.

Usually I give a little bit of background to myself, say if something in particular on their profile interested me and generally ask a question.

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By *andVCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh"

Haha that is a classic, up there with the never ending "nice tits" messages.

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By *ast FredyMan
over a year ago

southend on sea

I’ve found the same with the short answers. I soon tire of that, if I’ve taken the time to give a decent reply especially after them starting the conversation with just a hey or hi the least they could do is respond in a similar way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut and paste, spot it a mile off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And to anyone who gets a better than 1 in 10 response rate please contact me, I’m always recruiting for good salesmen, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really strange, especially when you have such a seductive name, Cumgoggles

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By *ast FredyMan
over a year ago

southend on sea

I also find if I reply back with “Hey” I don’t get a reply.

Rant over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh

Haha that is a classic, up there with the never ending "nice tits" messages."

They are nice tits though

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I either seem to be in an unfortunate area, or have the same luck as the person above me with one to five word replies!

Sometimes my messages just gets deleted without even viewing my profile or anything, and I never put a dick pic unless the profile specifically asks for that.

Usually I give a little bit of background to myself, say if something in particular on their profile interested me and generally ask a question."

A lot of people have their setting set so you won't see if they view your profile anyhow. I always look at profiles that message they just can't see that I did.

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By *ungislanderMan
over a year ago

Stornoway

The best first message is getting a message from the female first. Or couple.

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By *andVCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh

Haha that is a classic, up there with the never ending "nice tits" messages.

They are nice tits though"

Thanks, I have been trying really hard to grow them, I've cut out all exercise and general movement since lockdown and I've got them to at least an A cup now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another one..

“What you after” or “what you into”

It is literally written in great detail on my profile... arghhhhhh

Haha that is a classic, up there with the never ending "nice tits" messages.

They are nice tits though

Thanks, I have been trying really hard to grow them, I've cut out all exercise and general movement since lockdown and I've got them to at least an A cup now.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

The absolute minimum requirement for us to read a message or view a profile is they must have a profile picture. We don't get why people don't bother having one, especially if they ask why they're not getting any action.

We think you shouldn't be allowed to join without a one.

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By *shyaWoman
over a year ago

bedford

"I find putting words into a sentence really helps

When you send a message, especially to a single woman, as they get so many, there’s (potentially) four things that they’ll take into account.

1) Your message - Is it interesting, is it different from the usual messages they receive. Does it show that you’ve read their profile.

2) Your pics - Are they interesting, do they reflect you, how much effort have you made, are they full of cock pics.

4) Green arrow - do your views reflect their views. Do they resonate with the things you say or are some things crass.

It’s like a house of cards, especially for the first 3....fail on 1 and it’ll come tumbling down, so you’ll likely receive no reply or you are reducing the likelihood of a reply.

Have the first 3, you’ll probably get a reply.

They like the first 3, you’ve got your foot in the door...they may then look at 4.

Totally agree! Lack of effort or things in common or different attitude to sex will raise no intrest from me

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"It’s funny how men are criticised for bad messages when most I get from women just say “Hey” double standards ?

Had a "chat" with a lady who would only message back using one or two words max so I gave up."

Indeed. I've had a few like that and it was like pulling teeth, so I gave up as well

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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"A bit of effort...

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over.

So block single men messaging you. Easy.

But then that spoils the chances of the ones who actually make an effort....?"

Well you're the one who has to go through 900 messages to get 18 - if that's your choice (instead of just searching for men yourself) then why keep moaning about it?????????????

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By *eedAbuse4HubbyCouple
over a year ago

North West

"A bit of effort...

I have 900 messages in my inbox. Probably 18 of them are worth reading.

Sorry. Rant over.

So block single men messaging you. Easy.

But then that spoils the chances of the ones who actually make an effort....?

Well you're the one who has to go through 900 messages to get 18 - if that's your choice (instead of just searching for men yourself) then why keep moaning about it?????????????

My (our) profile & wants are quite specific.

I’ve gone to the effort of writing what we’re after. Just because i have cleavage on my picture doesn’t mean I automatically want a shag.

Read it and either message if it’s related or move on if not. Fairly simple stuff.

I’m not sure there’s an option to search for “guy to fuck a straight guy because his wife wants it”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 days later, dejavu thread

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

Statement is slightly wrong. Men and women are equal in most aspects of life as far as I'm concerned and being on this site also its 50/50 with crap messages.some people on here are so pompous over a message.as long as its polite and addressing both of us then it's all good.we dont want our mind blown in the first message. We like building up to having our minds blown.whats wrong with hi or hello that's normal in life

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