FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Performance Anxiety?

Jump to newest
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley

Hi guys.. Problem is on a mmf I can't always stay hard without help from viagra or similar. 121s are fine. Parties and clubs are OK in mixed scenarios.

I think sometimes it's you get worried if the other guy can remain hard and you can't?

So question is how do you cope with this what do you do?

Thanks in advance..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Accept it and move on to different activities.

Worrying about it will just make it worse.

If the people you are playing with are rude about it, move on from them.

It is understood that the inability to get an erection can be down to physical or mental issues. If you start to lose yourself in your head because you are focusing on the other male, then it is no surprise you suffer from PA.

You could try a cock ring, one tight enough to restrict the flow of blood bit not cut it off completely. This way regardless of your mental state, you may be able to keep it up longer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"Accept it and move on to different activities.

Worrying about it will just make it worse.

If the people you are playing with are rude about it, move on from them.

It is understood that the inability to get an erection can be down to physical or mental issues. If you start to lose yourself in your head because you are focusing on the other male, then it is no surprise you suffer from PA.

You could try a cock ring, one tight enough to restrict the flow of blood bit not cut it off completely. This way regardless of your mental state, you may be able to keep it up longer."

Thanks actually I've never tried a cock ring?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lthomasMan
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Not something I've had issues with, but if the people you're with can't accept it then move one.

We all have different hang ups, it's how you let it affect you. Play to your strengths.

Me: I gat aroused to quickly and usually can only cum once, takes me a while to recover

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was dead nervous on first 3 some.i just didn't have an idea and I've f anything worried too much.

People I was with were great understanding and we all went at a pace comfortable.

I was young and they helped me loads so much we met often and then all my worries were gone.

Great people help no end

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley

I've done a few mmfs and groups as well better in groups I think because there's usually other women involved!.

It does depend on how relaxed you are too but you can't help being a bit nervous.... And comparing your performance with the other guys....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a habit of losing it if I get distracted by my thoughts moving to football or work. So don't let that happen

Try some mindfulness and focus on the sexual and hot moment you are in!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohn1953Man
over a year ago

North Wales

I think a lot is to do with confidence and not worrying about the hubby or boyfriend, just go out and enjoy it because that is what the couple will be doing. I am opposite I just love being watched in clubs and sex cinemas weather it the hubby or guys and couples watching me playing and fucking, to be honest it’s a big turn on for me. But honestly just go and enjoy it and stop worrying about it you will be fine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

[Removed by poster at 10/11/20 16:34:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens


"I have a habit of losing it if I get distracted by my thoughts moving to football or work. So don't let that happen

Try some mindfulness and focus on the sexual and hot moment you are in! "

Good advice... it's happened to Mr and loads of others at different times... try moving into oral and I'm sure it will come back...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys.. Problem is on a mmf I can't always stay hard without help from viagra or similar. 121s are fine. Parties and clubs are OK in mixed scenarios.

I think sometimes it's you get worried if the other guy can remain hard and you can't?

So question is how do you cope with this what do you do?

Thanks in advance.. "

First off, if you have no issues with erections masturbating or with someone one on one, it’s clear you don’t have any underlying condition that is preventing you from getting and keeping an erection

Second, don’t get used to using viagra etc. to rely on getting an erection in those situations as it may start causing performance anxiety when you’re one on one with someone.

Do you have a drink when you meet? That could also affect it.

It does sound like it’s all psychological though, so you could have a look at the basics of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and even further see if there is a specific CBT exercise that specifically targets performance anxiety caused erectile dysfunction

Or, stop fucking couples

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"Hi guys.. Problem is on a mmf I can't always stay hard without help from viagra or similar. 121s are fine. Parties and clubs are OK in mixed scenarios.

I think sometimes it's you get worried if the other guy can remain hard and you can't?

So question is how do you cope with this what do you do?

Thanks in advance..

First off, if you have no issues with erections masturbating or with someone one on one, it’s clear you don’t have any underlying condition that is preventing you from getting and keeping an erection

Second, don’t get used to using viagra etc. to rely on getting an erection in those situations as it may start causing performance anxiety when you’re one on one with someone.

Do you have a drink when you meet? That could also affect it.

It does sound like it’s all psychological though, so you could have a look at the basics of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and even further see if there is a specific CBT exercise that specifically targets performance anxiety caused erectile dysfunction

Or, stop fucking couples "

Last one nooooo! Lol

No I don't drink at clubs and parties. I think it gets to me when you hear other guys have cum x times in a night and you haven't!.

Viagra does seem to stop you cumming though? Dragon extra are better!?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our early years of swinging I had a number of guys lose their erection as I played with them.

I started getting a bit of a complex about it!

Realised eventually that it just happens. Viagra type products can help but you need to be sure its the right thing for you before you take it. Same as any other medication.

L x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys.. Problem is on a mmf I can't always stay hard without help from viagra or similar. 121s are fine. Parties and clubs are OK in mixed scenarios.

I think sometimes it's you get worried if the other guy can remain hard and you can't?

So question is how do you cope with this what do you do?

Thanks in advance..

First off, if you have no issues with erections masturbating or with someone one on one, it’s clear you don’t have any underlying condition that is preventing you from getting and keeping an erection

Second, don’t get used to using viagra etc. to rely on getting an erection in those situations as it may start causing performance anxiety when you’re one on one with someone.

Do you have a drink when you meet? That could also affect it.

It does sound like it’s all psychological though, so you could have a look at the basics of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and even further see if there is a specific CBT exercise that specifically targets performance anxiety caused erectile dysfunction

Or, stop fucking couples

Last one nooooo! Lol

No I don't drink at clubs and parties. I think it gets to me when you hear other guys have cum x times in a night and you haven't!.

Viagra does seem to stop you cumming though? Dragon extra are better!? "

Everyone is different though. Some guys have the ability to cum loads of times, so don’t. Some cum before they’ve even had sex, some can last hours. It’s just how we all are made up.

I guarantee that if you keep using viagra as a crutch for meeting couples and it doesn’t work one time, then it’ll start to not work in future

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ungle_kingMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I find sometimes I'm fine until the old rubber glove goes on then it's ok but not as hard as it could and should be but that only happened once or twice and could have been the condom as it felt like it was a little tight.

But on the whole my advice is enjoy the occasion and just be honest if you need a little time out then just say it rather than like the inbetweeners was trying to whack your little friend into action as it ain't going to happen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"In our early years of swinging I had a number of guys lose their erection as I played with them.

I started getting a bit of a complex about it!

Realised eventually that it just happens. Viagra type products can help but you need to be sure its the right thing for you before you take it. Same as any other medication.

L x"

Yeah some women think it's them not doing something right, which might be right sometimes I think most of the time it's in our heads.

Some great advice guys thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amesnplanesMan
over a year ago

Banbridge

It's worth bearing in mind if you do decide take a pill of sorts, it will be in your system for a while with consequences.

I found friends at Chams were all taking Kamagra for repeat performance, so I gave it a go to see if the recovery time would be improved.

Wow, not a good plan.

Yes, played as per the plan.

Went to sit in the hottub to recover before round 2,3,4 etc, and then overheated.

That was a nasty experience and sent me home early feeling dreadfully unwell.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73 OP   Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"It's worth bearing in mind if you do decide take a pill of sorts, it will be in your system for a while with consequences.

I found friends at Chams were all taking Kamagra for repeat performance, so I gave it a go to see if the recovery time would be improved.

Wow, not a good plan.

Yes, played as per the plan.

Went to sit in the hottub to recover before round 2,3,4 etc, and then overheated.

That was a nasty experience and sent me home early feeling dreadfully unwell.

"

Not tried that one. But viagra gives me a headache the day after..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hubby had the problem the first couple of times we played with other couples but had been fine with mfm. We realised it was using condoms as he hadn't had to use them in so long. He found a different brand that works better for him and we used them a bit together to get used to them, not had any issues since.

We've also had a couple of guys had the problem too when joining us for mfm but it's just meant that I've spent more time concentrating on them and it's never bothered me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I went through this once myself..

I was overthinking things..

I was worrying about getting hard on my journey to a meet ..

Then one day I just got hard and stayed hard..

Now it doesn’t cross my mind ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top