FabSwingers.com forum: What's wrong with some of the men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

2 young friends of mine are keen to try swinging. They joined Fab last week and posted a profile that said that they were very interested in being watched , first by cam and then when this is over in the flesh. Their profile was quite plain that they didn't want to go any further.

As you can imagine, they had dozens of replies but most of the men ignored their wishes and went in to details how they wanted to take it further.

When my friends replied many of the men became nasty or abusive. Out of all the replies there was only one that was sympathetic to their wishes.

They have now left Fab and they have been so disheartened by the experience that I doubt if they'll return.

It's no wonder so many women and couples have such a low opinion of us men.

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By *hropsGuy69Man
over a year ago

telford

That’s awful ..

Yeah some terribly rude and none genuine folk on here...

Some lovely ones too mind !!

You need a thick skin to survive on here at times

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

That's what filters are for. If you use them you don't get inundated with messages. Other wise women and couples can just block men and actually do the looking themselves.

And to be fair the amount of abusive mail is not that much really if you do actually take control of your account and I know I just block anyone who is.

There's plenty of decent guys on here.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

They can, but it's the battering of the inbox and crass stupidity they show en mass. Of course you're right, but it just doesn't seem relevant in this scenario.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

Just had a really vulgar message as an opening message. Luckily we’re used to the occasional wanker, so it won’t put us off.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

This is where meeting in person at clubs can be the better option at times.

The ability to hide behind sock puppet or throw away profiles allows people to behave in ways they wouldn't in person. It shouldn't be necessary but you do have to learn to ignore the trolls on any website.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"That's what filters are for. If you use them you don't get inundated with messages."

I suppose this has to come down to the ancient site design... how "looking for" and "message filters" are totally unrelated, and in different places. different systems working oblivious to each other.

I think it's absurd just how many profiles keep screaming NO MEN! DO NOT MESSAGE US! And think how much it just exposes their own ignorance about how to use the site better. But it's far from obvious TBF...

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By *ensual massagerMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"2 young friends of mine are keen to try swinging. They joined Fab last week and posted a profile that said that they were very interested in being watched , first by cam and then when this is over in the flesh. Their profile was quite plain that they didn't want to go any further.

As you can imagine, they had dozens of replies but most of the men ignored their wishes and went in to details how they wanted to take it further.

When my friends replied many of the men became nasty or abusive. Out of all the replies there was only one that was sympathetic to their wishes.

They have now left Fab and they have been so disheartened by the experience that I doubt if they'll return.

It's no wonder so many women and couples have such a low opinion of us men."

Were you young friends male or female?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Were you young friends male or female? "

Seemed pretty clear they are an MF couple.

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By *ensual massagerMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"That's what filters are for. If you use them you don't get inundated with messages. Other wise women and couples can just block men and actually do the looking themselves.

And to be fair the amount of abusive mail is not that much really if you do actually take control of your account and I know I just block anyone who is.

There's plenty of decent guys on here. "

Unfortunately you can't filter, rude or abusive people until you get a message then block.

A friend of mine (female) would like to filter single girls but that's not available

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Not sure you briefed them about fab properly lol

Just kidding, that is bad, no idea if it’s got worse, but it’s the nature of any forum, as above, some will behave in ways they would never do in real life.

If we introduced anyone to fab, we’d absolutely tell them to have the message filters on. Shame but that’s how it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some of the men here are just interested in what they can get, quickly, with the minimum of effort. They aren't interested in what you're looking for, just self-satisfaction. Sad but true.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Unfortunately some of the men here are just interested in what they can get, quickly, with the minimum of effort. They aren't interested in what you're looking for, just self-satisfaction. Sad but true."

Does it ever ever ever work? I've a sad feeling it must do at times?

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By *estofbothCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Don’t want to tempt fate but we don’t have too many issues. Most guys we speak to are polite, and the ones that aren’t don’t tend to bother us more than once. Certainly seems to be a loud minority that give men a bad name on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had the same when we first joined and only lasted six weeks!!!

This is our third try and now it’s working very well for us.

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By *oober698Man
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

Sssshhhhh that’s the unspoken truth on here ..

We’re not supposed to say it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is most men think you will meet at the drop of a hat.

No thought about your circumstances and then get upset when you point this out.

The majority just thi k about themselves and not the bigger picture i feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FAB should have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy - abuse a member, account deleted.

Might take a while, but eventually they'd get sick of creating new accounts and go somewhere else.

With such a disproportionate number of Single Males, that would help even up the numbers as well

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By *orace99Man
over a year ago

York

"Just had a really vulgar message as an opening message. Luckily we’re used to the occasional wanker, so it won’t put us off. "

Really don't see the point in being rude it's not like you would get a reply.

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By *ensual massagerMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"Were you young friends male or female?

Seemed pretty clear they are an MF couple."

Not exactly 'pretty clear'

It's no wonder so many women and couples have such a low opinion of us men."

States women and couples. It doesn't state throughout whether it was female only as in ff or mf or indeed mm.. I understand the women bit but the couple bit is ambiguous, that's why I asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for it maners cost nothing too many entitled and rude people around

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By *bwlookingforfunWoman
over a year ago

crawley

I have a collection of the worst messages, I stopped some time ago but yes, polite "no" triggers many guys. I can't even count how many times I've been called fat, ugly and many more.

I got used to it, and I don't put everyone in the same bag. There are some real gents on fab, and they are worth dealing with idiots.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

When your friends got the graphic messages they should have ignored/deleted them or blocked the sender. Why did they bother replying ? This would have stopped the abusive messages.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Shame you didn't give them guidance before they joined the lions den that is fab.

Block guys whose messages don't meet their criteria and definitely don't reply

Use filters to the full etc

Tell them to try again

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Last week a lady screenshot one of the abusive messages and put it on her pics fantastic way to show the guy who sent it up she probably got a ban for it but good on her (round of applause)

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Were you young friends male or female?

Seemed pretty clear they are an MF couple.

Not exactly 'pretty clear'

It's no wonder so many women and couples have such a low opinion of us men."

States women and couples. It doesn't state throughout whether it was female only as in ff or mf or indeed mm.. I understand the women bit but the couple bit is ambiguous, that's why I asked. "

Yes I assumed it was two separate females for some reason, not a couple so have to agree it wasn't that clear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

I think the "ratio" has a lot to answer for!

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything.

I think the "ratio" has a lot to answer for!"

Agree I’d say only a small percentage of guys I reply to, get arsey with me when I turn them down. The majority will thank for the reply and move on.

Single guys do get some grief on here when it’s the minority doing the insulting.

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By *xkritTV/TS
over a year ago

High Wycombe (ish)

Sadly, like a lot of things, it's the small minority that tar it for the vast majority

Most men, women and those somewhere else on the spectrum are decent and polite. Most react well to a polite decline

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Personally, I think that all profiles should automatically have all filters on when they are set up.

That would allow new users to familiarise themselves with the site, instead of getting bombarded and frightened off.

I'd had a couple profile for many years before setting this one up, so knew what to expect. I only opened filters early this year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often thing that, guys like my self, who have tried to be as open and honest as possible, get ignored becuase of 'dave' who just sends dick pics, goes on about how hes gods give gift about shagging with his supposedly 8 inch cock (which i get alot), but if someone sends me a decent enough message and tries, i will reply.

Like im no god, average cock, few mental health issues and injured like hell and nowt special to look ar, but I'll talk to people like their individuals, get to know them and what their like before i even think about asking if sex is a possibility.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had those chance your arm messages from guys before changing filters but the only abusive messages I've ever received have been from couples.

They start out perfectly fine and then there is a sudden change of tone possibly as the male half takes over. If I don't agree to a play meet without a social or refuse to shave my beard off or am reluctant to travel long distances to them rather than meet half way that's when the abuse starts and they get introduced to the block button.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

At least it helps filter the people to avoid.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"That's what filters are for. If you use them you don't get inundated with messages. Other wise women and couples can just block men and actually do the looking themselves.

And to be fair the amount of abusive mail is not that much really if you do actually take control of your account and I know I just block anyone who is.

There's plenty of decent guys on here.

Unfortunately you can't filter, rude or abusive people until you get a message then block.

A friend of mine (female) would like to filter single girls but that's not available "

It is available in the message filters.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Personally, I think that all profiles should automatically have all filters on when they are set up.

That would allow new users to familiarise themselves with the site, instead of getting bombarded and frightened off.

I'd had a couple profile for many years before setting this one up, so knew what to expect. I only opened filters early this year. "

I totally agree with this about filters. Well said. X

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

I sometimes wonder how far the problem is very much an individual thing. When we first started we had the whole range, but very rarely abusive. We now tend to get a lot more entertaining ones these days, so a profile clearly helps. Still hard work keeping up with the polite "no" though.

TBH much rather have an easy aggressor to deal with (block) than someone devious you waste more time and thought on. There may be a lot less of them but they are worse!

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By *odd4funnMan
over a year ago

Walthamstow Leyton

"FAB should have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy - abuse a member, account deleted.

Might take a while, but eventually they'd get sick of creating new accounts and go somewhere else.

With such a disproportionate number of Single Males, that would help even up the numbers as well

Totally agree so many women /couples

saying this on there update Give it a go and see !!!

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

When I suggest joining Fab to women swinger friends I tell them to block single men for at least 6 weeks whilst they brouse the site and get a feel for it . Any new single woman profile will otherwise get a massive inbox very quickly which is off putting and then the nasty messages kick in. Women have to get hardened to it unfortunately to stay on here. Clearly it should not be like that .

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"Women can be nasty and cruel too on here. Men get the blame for everything."

Well said

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By *ealArtfulDodgerMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"This is where meeting in person at clubs can be the better option at times.

Can I just say I thought swinging and dogging for

that matter was an urban myth until I found a very friendly club in County Durham...

I'd like to echo the above comments a club is the best and safest way to go... In my experience and I was bricking it the first few times... It's the way forward, there's zero pressure a No means HELL NO.! The staff are amazing and know the ropes (no pun

)

Go enjoy, watch, chat if you feel like it and that's the way forward... Clubs are not at all Fab although there are merits of both if you're so inclined... Good luck x

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London&Dublin

Agree I’d say only a small percentage of guys I reply to, get arsey with me when I turn them down. The majority will thank for the reply and move on.

Likewise, I almost never got a rude/nasty reply (touch wood).

Another poster rightly questioned the possibility that it is an individual phenomenon rather than general.

We always get told how rude/nasty people (single M) are in replying to them but we never know the other side of the story.

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