FabSwingers.com forum: Bi-curious

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've seen on a few profiles that the lady has 'gone past the bi-curious stage'... then there's usually some comment about how she tried it and liked it 'lol'.

I find it kind of offensive... it seems almost like being bi is either a 'game' or something that women have to almost 'force' themselves to do/ try/ like. As though being bi is another tick on their 'swinging checklist' or something.

I apologise if my comments offend anyone, I really don't mean to. I just want to get other people's opinions on what they think of phrases like that.

I think I'd prefer to see someone saying that they were bi but still a bit shy, or words to that effect.

Before anyone jumps on me I am NOT telling people how to write their profiles! Just trying (badly, sorry!) to get my point across about what I'm thinking, and wondering what other people think.

And also because I know some people will have some great answers and it will help me understand it better.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we got together as a couple the subject of whether Sabrina was bisexual or not soon came up . Her answer was no , but as a teenager she had snogged a girl , and that she would like to try it again at some stage .

So when we started swinging , a year after getting together we put bi curious on her profile and soon found that she liked pkaying with women as much as men - and almost two years later if you ask if she is bi sexual the answer is still no , but she likes having fun with women as long as I am with her !

In vanilla world she doesn't see women and think about whether she fancies them or not - only in the swinging world so is she bisexual or curious ?

So it's not that simple really , and bi curio us is a fair analogy really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ruth considers herself socially bi,which she feels is neither bi curious or bisexual.If she meets someone and theres a connection then she is happy to play bi but she doesnt like labels and never makes comments about her bisexuality,she doesnt feel she has to tick any box's or let the world know what she is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the answers. Good point about the scattergun approach.

Still a bit boggled. And I hate labels too, hence my question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've written "long past curious" because to our mind, it gives more of an idea of who we are and helps people make a decision on how experienced they might want a prospective partner to be? In the past we've been asked how bisexual we are, so this seemed the best description.

Some terms on these sites might be interpreted as intimidating, especially to those who are genuinely exploring their sexualities and who might be looking for much more experienced people to help them with this. Hope that helps a little more of your query, but curious as to why you should find people's terminology so offensive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't really know why I find it offensive, I was kind of hoping people's replies would sort it out for me.

I've known I was bi for a very long time and had my first girlfriend when I was 20. Back then bi people were looked on as 'even worse' than gay people. Gay people and straight people hated bi people lol

Nowadays being bi is 'fashionable'. Seems like tons of female pop stars/ actresses etc claim to be bi. Hmm possibly still no bi men as that seems to be the last taboo.

I've come into contact with women pretending to be bi and that could be what I don't like when I see things written on profiles. It's as though they are just playing at it, but now they got used to it.... Like it's not something they want to do, if that makes sense?

Not saying that's you, or anyone else. Just saying that's how it seems to me. Anyway... Wayyyyyy back I was curious too. Hope you're having fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That clarifies a lot. Agreed on the outright Gays not liking bi very much. I attended a gay sauna and it was hugely intimidating for me as the gay guys seemed to think I shouldn't have been there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm Bi purely and simply because i'm just a greedy girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That clarifies a lot. Agreed on the outright Gays not liking bi very much. I attended a gay sauna and it was hugely intimidating for me as the gay guys seemed to think I shouldn't have been there.

Gay guys are the worst of all human beings for being judgemental! Ok not all gay guys, just some.

I think I've just got so happy in my own skin that somewhere along the way I forgot that being bi is seen as 'bad' still.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Gay guys are the worst of all human beings for being judgemental! Ok not all gay guys, just some.

Thank the god that is Danny la rue cause if I didn't like a bit of minge from time to time, I would be one of the worst kind x

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

" And I hate labels too, hence my question."

But our profiles are all about labels! Otherwise no one would know what you want/need/desire. They also wouldn't know what you are like, visually or physically!

You are one of the Redheaded clan. You are also in the GSOH sub division of the size 14 grouping! You are around the middle percentile of height and Bi-sexual!

You are at least slightly judgemental as is everyone on this site (and every other site!) And you seem to be a little "Precious" as in "I find it kind of offensive" when it affects you in no way at all...

None of this is meant to upset you, but just to point out that far from being as you say, you really are just like everyone else!

(Size 14 AND a Redhead?? WOW!!

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gay guys are the worst of all human beings for being judgemental! Ok not all gay guys, just some.

Thank the god that is Danny la rue cause if I didn't like a bit of minge from time to time, I would be one of the worst kind x"

Minge saved the day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bi curious = never kissed a girl

bi = I kissed a girl and I liked it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" And I hate labels too, hence my question.

But our profiles are all about labels! Otherwise no one would know what you want/need/desire. They also wouldn't know what you are like, visually or physically!

You are one of the Redheaded clan. You are also in the GSOH sub division of the size 14 grouping! You are around the middle percentile of height and Bi-sexual!

None of this is meant to upset you, but just to point out that far from being as you say, you really are just like everyone else!

(Size 14 AND a Redhead?? WOW!!

It does affect me. I go "eww" and make this face when I see those profiles-

Sorry I didn't mean I wasn't judgemental. I'm a right tunnel vision type, even though I hate it in myself. Except also very open minded.

I didn't want to offend anyone with my question that was all. Loving the answers as it lets me see other _iewpoints. I wanted to change my stick in the mud ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe i'm a bit slow here, but i always thought if a gal was 'bi-curious' that meant she was CURIOUS about being with another woman! And if she has 'gone beyond the curious stage' that meant she has tried it out!

So, my question is, why SHOULDN'T there be a comment on her profile saying she either liked it or didn't like it??

Isn't that the WHOLE POINT of having a profile? To let others know your likes and dis-likes?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I'm Bi purely and simply because i'm just a greedy girl

I'm Bi & I like greedy guys & girls.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe i'm a bit slow here, but i always thought if a gal was 'bi-curious' that meant she was CURIOUS about being with another woman! And if she has 'gone beyond the curious stage' that meant she has tried it out!

So, my question is, why SHOULDN'T there be a comment on her profile saying she either liked it or didn't like it??

Isn't that the WHOLE POINT of having a profile? To let others know your likes and dis-likes?

Well yes... I had realised the point of profiles lol.

It's the 'tried it out' kind of statement that I wondered about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, my question is, why SHOULDN'T there be a comment on her profile saying she either liked it or didn't like it??

Isn't that the WHOLE POINT of having a profile? To let others know your likes and dis-likes?

Well yes... I had realised the point of profiles lol.

It's the 'tried it out' kind of statement that I wondered about. "

but thats my point! Why should it bother you if they try it out or not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It doesn't bother me that they are trying it out, it's the term that bothers me. I wanted to figure out why it bothers me.

Nowt wrong with trying anything once.... Or twice....!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't bother me that they are trying it out, it's the term that bothers me. I wanted to figure out why it bothers me.

Nowt wrong with trying anything once.... Or twice....!

lol, wouldn't mind watching a gal 'try it out'! That way i can step in if she didn't like it! Lol,

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site."

Neither did I.

I'm here to indulge in my fantasies, someone here for everyone and naively thought everyone else was of the same _iew. The amount of Doms that are now sub, bi people who.are now straight, in order to get a meet, is amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site.

Neither did I.

exactly! I was chatting to a gal who was flabbergasted (my new word for the day) because i turned down a meet with her! She wantf her bf to suck me off before i had sex with her! Not my thing!

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I have been bisexual way before I got into swinging but have used the term 'past the curious stage' as my curiosity was many, many moons ago and so that other bi fems are aware that I have some experience. Maybe it is the wrong wording but the easiest way to explain.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site.

Neither did I.

exactly! I was chatting to a gal who was flabbergasted (my new word for the day) because i turned down a meet with her! She wantf her bf to suck me off before i had sex with her! Not my thing!

I'm flabbergasted that she'd ask!

See that's it I think. What bothers me. People saying they've tried this or that. Seems like they are just saying it to get meets or popularity. If they really were what they say, they would be more matter of fact or low key.

Ok I confused myself but I know what I mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site.

Neither did I.

exactly! I was chatting to a gal who was flabbergasted (my new word for the day) because i turned down a meet with her! She wantf her bf to suck me off before i had sex with her! Not my thing!

I'm flabbergasted that she'd ask!

Ok I confused myself but I know what I mean.

lol, i THINK i know what your meaning! It should be on their profile as bi! And that way they can't turn round and say they aren't if someone they want to meet isn't into bi?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been bisexual way before I got into swinging but have used the term 'past the curious stage' as my curiosity was many, many moons ago and so that other bi fems are aware that I have some experience. Maybe it is the wrong wording but the easiest way to explain.

Exactly where we are with our comment too x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think people try to keep as many options open as possible.... In my opinion, sometimes too many and that leads to a lack of connection and disappointment.

Some find getting meets challenging so go for a scattergun approach...

I agree. I think some people will pick and choose certain things that they will and won't do which leads to confusion for all involved. I didn't know it was such a grey area till I came to this site.

Neither did I.

exactly! I was chatting to a gal who was flabbergasted (my new word for the day) because i turned down a meet with her! She wantf her bf to suck me off before i had sex with her! Not my thing!

I'm flabbergasted that she'd ask!

Ok I confused myself but I know what I mean.

lol, i THINK i know what your meaning! It should be on their profile as bi! And that way they can't turn round and say they aren't if someone they want to meet isn't into bi? "

Umm no not really. I am all for people hiding stuff if they see fit to. Bi blokes saying they are straight is fine by me as they get looked down on more than anyone else. That's not fair in my book. Live and let live I say.

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