FabSwingers.com forum: A different take on single men

By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

It's been a bit odd this morning. I turned on our single man flag and along with our current daft status, had a few one liners from guys with dreadful profiles. But a couple of these guys, with terrible profiles, got on board with it and currently feels like we've found some real prospects just from not dismissing them out of hand for a rubbish opening message and a dick pic.

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s a really useful piece of advice to all, thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Use this site how you please. Don’t follow the sheep.

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

Interesting thread.

I pretty much always send a face and clothed body pic along with a nicely worded paragraph about the person im addressing and myself, in my first message.

Very rarely do I ever get a reply, which is fine. Every so often I get a thanks but no thanks and thats brilliant because I know precisely were i stand.

What I've always pondered, is if my initial messages are just a bit boring.

My messages are merely nothing more than an introduction along with saying that im interested in the profile im messaging.

The profiles that put me off are those that want someone (men) to be different, to capture their imagination and not be boring in an opening message.

What does one write in an opening message to sound exciting?

I've got a 200mph sports car, want to try blowing me at 180mph? Is that interesting enough?

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By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street

Down to earth

Respect

Manners

A good girthy cock

That's me

Been told not the typical fab guy

What you see is what you get

Regards a

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finally someone giving us single men a chance

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Finally someone giving us single men a chance "

Well I don't know if it's even that TBH. More working out what a chance means? And this is still generally from a starting point of genuinely trash profiles and opening messages.

So much of Fab is working out how to make it work to your advantage. How to game the system, and what systems even exist.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Down to earth

Respect

Manners

A good girthy cock

That's me

Been told not the typical fab guy

What you see is what you get

Regards a "

Well there's a great example! Why did you write that here? Why is your profile 90% nonsense disclaimer? It doesn't make you look at all appealing. But.. hey your photos do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Finally someone giving us single men a chance

Well I don't know if it's even that TBH. More working out what a chance means? And this is still generally from a starting point of genuinely trash profiles and opening messages.

So much of Fab is working out how to make it work to your advantage. How to game the system, and what systems even exist."

I think my profile needs some work

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham

"It's been a bit odd this morning. I turned on our single man flag and along with our current daft status, had a few one liners from guys with dreadful profiles. But a couple of these guys, with terrible profiles, got on board with it and currently feels like we've found some real prospects just from not dismissing them out of hand for a rubbish opening message and a dick pic.

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

It feels strange trying to start a conversation with a dick pic, like it's against the rules. But maybe that's actually the way to succeed and there are lots of really good guys that are just feeling too intimidated to try hard?"
yeah I’m intimidated as a single guy on here, and I’ve no dick pic at all! it’s like don’t approach us single guys cos we are idiots, which I’m certainly not!.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's something I experiment with occasionally. I'll probably try it again when it's responsible to meet again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was reading a ladies profile yesterday and she said that she doesn't like dick pics and that men should make more of an effort with their profile.

However almost all of her verifications meets were from men with just dick pics and short one line profile text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block button is a single guys best friends. Read the profiles. If you don’t fit what they are looking for block. They don’t show up on a search you set again and make more room for anyone that does.

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By *rladytoyMan
over a year ago

plymouth

No no no , i think its pretty simpme to see from a 2 inch square picture and a couple of paragraphs that im an ugly smelly waste of space wh should be avoided at all costs!

But no seriously, iv been here years and in my local area i have seen all the ladies and couples complain over the years about bad profiles, pictures. Time wasters and lack of options. Hell theres 2 in my news feed now. Not one of them in years has thought to message or interact with me because of some made up bullshit system they create on here. I actually do laugh out loud to myself everytime i see it. Im having a whale of a time with my playmates but it really does tickle me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Finally someone giving us single men a chance

Well I don't know if it's even that TBH. More working out what a chance means? And this is still generally from a starting point of genuinely trash profiles and opening messages.

So much of Fab is working out how to make it work to your advantage. How to game the system, and what systems even exist.

I think my profile needs some work "

Let your imagination work. Let it show through your own profile.

Or do as some do. Copy and paste others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously I think if I put a dick pic up and just text - wanna meet to - it couldn't be no worse at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you, OP.

Very kind of you to post this

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By *orthampton jamesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

As a single man it can be difficult even just to chat with a couple or a lady, there's so many single men and some of them give us other's who are decent a bad name, I'm always respectful of couple's and ladles, I don't send pic's of my bits unless asked for, even then only after some two way conversations, I'm open to a chat anytime, so any nice folk, if interested come say hello. J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously I think if I put a dick pic up and just text - wanna meet to - it couldn't be no worse at all "

You are the Adonis of fab aswell being in 6ft. Use that to your advantage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The block button is a single guys best friends. Read the profiles. If you don’t fit what they are looking for block. They don’t show up on a search you set again and make more room for anyone that does. "

The problem with this IMHO is that people's preferences and profiles change.

By blocking them, you will miss those changes, which might now actually meet what you're looking for...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with this IMHO is that people's preferences and profiles change.

By blocking them, you will miss those changes, which might now actually meet what you're looking for...

I can’t see the colour of my cock changing anytime soon, my height or sadly face

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By *iscreet-is-paramountMan
over a year ago

where no one knows

This is why you shouldn't paint everyone with the same brush. It's almost impossible to meet cpls like it was 10 yr ago, all the fakes and dickheads must be endless to filter. So I assume the ones that do block men, find them on their own but purely go off profiles alone. The way that people use media now, really doesn't help.

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By *eirdscienceMan
over a year ago

Postwick

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

Thank you for this - theres never too many complaints around tit pics so it works both ways

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By *allgirthyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Good for you, guys. Had you been more local, I’d have most certainly sent you a message (not that I’d expect a reply necessarily!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

How refreshing!

I was on here for years as part of a couple and it's easy to understand how you can soon get fed up of the lack of effort and bombardment of banality.

BUT: it's a 2 way street, it takes no effort to reply "no thank you", I'm afraid there are rather a lot of people that take themselves and this, far too seriously. When you flip it around there are frankly some right munters on here who think they are the Queen of Sheba, big fish in a small pond mentality.

It's no wonder guys don't make to much effort all the time when they are lucky to even get a "no thanks" reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no issue with single guys. Infact I rather like them. My profile makes my current position clear so I take exception to the ones who them try to dismiss that.

Or the ones that seem to forget this isn't instashag and I do actually need to fancy them!

There are many wonderful guys on here and some are hidden behind a dick pic and a sparce profile. I agree they are possibly intimidated but also they are doing precisely what so many others do.

It's hard to stand out and I do empathise with that, however it's also pretty frustrating to try and out the good ones if you're getting lots of messages and idiot's.

Sadly you do go cock blind

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

How refreshing!

I was on here for years as part of a couple and it's easy to understand how you can soon get fed up of the lack of effort and bombardment of banality.

It's no wonder guys don't make to much effort all the time when they are lucky to even get a "no thanks" reply."

It literally DOES take effort to reply. And to reply to 100+ rubbish messages takes a LOT of effort. I'm not excusing guys from the crap they send, just that there are seemingly better ways to find good ones than those that make sense to most.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We tend to find profiles and online chat are no substitute for meeting in person regardless of if its a single or couple of any gender. We have met a fair few people we've liked in clubs who if our first contact was their profile we would have been put off.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't think there is any single "right" way to Fab other than the one we each ourselves find works for us as individuals.

Undoubtedly there is the perceived wisdom way of decent profile, decent pics, right attitude and approach etc but sometimes just having the last two can be enough - the key is finding the way that works for the individual and sometimes taking those leaps of faith beyond what is generally vaunted as the right way

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By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street

"Down to earth

Respect

Manners

A good girthy cock

That's me

Been told not the typical fab guy

What you see is what you get

Regards a

Well there's a great example! Why did you write that here? Why is your profile 90% nonsense disclaimer? It doesn't make you look at all appealing. But.. hey your photos do."

Hey thank you for your input

You've really put me on the map now

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

An original message along with a nice face pic usually goes a long way with people on here.

But no matter how well written your message is, you can’t please everyone.

Don’t let it get you down and remember that there are others that are looking for someone like you.

That’s what I tell myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single man it can be difficult even just to chat with a couple or a lady, there's so many single men and some of them give us other's who are decent a bad name, I'm always respectful of couple's and ladles, I don't send pic's of my bits unless asked for, even then only after some two way conversations, I'm open to a chat anytime, so any nice folk, if interested come say hello. J"

Putting others down and doing the whole “they fuck it up on us decent guys” is a real turn off and dodgy as hell too. It makes you sound bad, simplistic, lying or I dunno what. I’d advise you to never use that stuff.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

The problem with this IMHO is that people's preferences and profiles change.

By blocking them, you will miss those changes, which might now actually meet what you're looking for...

Totally agree, we have been in the lifestyle for some years meeting only couples then about 3 years ago we decided to experience meeting single guys and met some great guys during that time, although we tended not to tick the meet single guy box we changed our profile to say we were open to meeting single guys so they would have needed to read it to see we had changed our preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like a dick pic

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I quite like a dick pic

Prepare to be inundated with lolly pics

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I quite like a dick pic

Me too, but just talking back to it with nothing else to go on feels very uncomfortable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to meet single guys,though sending me a dick pic in there first message,or having a profile filled with dick pics from every angle,and little or very little profile content does them no favours

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland

TBH, Ive long given up on these sort of profiles. The list of endless rules, must have this, must have that, if you've read this then post this word.

No thanks, I'm here for fun and laughs with like-minded folk. Not pander to the egos of folk pretending to be something they're not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting posts..I personally wouldn't send just a pic of my cock with a hey lets meet up..

Its too cocky...too impersonal...and from my point of view too arrogant that all you want is whats between my legs. Personally I enjoying using more than just my cock to pleasure a woman.

But hey each to thier own and if you enjoy that sort of greeting than good on ya.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

First off thanks for looking at single guys differently.

I dont send cock pics but I do try to be respectful and polite and treat people like I want to be treated myself. So I aim to be.polite and address as.manh.of the profiles points as possible. Most times I get deleted others is a no thanks. If someone.looks at.my profile.i always thank.them for looking.

I agree what the hell can you say on here that's diffrent anyway?

I think being open to talk to us guts and social meets would be a better way of choosing people

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I did get very disillusioned just recently by a couple who believe that single men cannot be swingers.

What they dont get is that thse of us who stay on here know this is the hardest thing to do as a single guy. You can pick up single women a lot easier outside the scene.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

"TBH, Ive long given up on these sort of profiles. The list of endless rules, must have this, must have that, if you've read this then post this word.

No thanks, I'm here for fun and laughs with like-minded folk. Not pander to the egos of folk pretending to be something they're not."

I feel you, pal.

I've had couples/single females completely ignore me on here, yet approach me in a club.

Often I think it must be the way I present myself on here, but honestly the way I present myself here is... me.

I don't message sf/couples with obscene messages and dick pics because that isn't the way I conduct myself.

In general, single men are given a hard time on here because a lot of single men on here aren't genuine, and thats understandable.

If people don't like me and they don't message back. Thats part and parcel of it.

That said it also works the other way, I've crafted messages that have been rather time consuming and required effort, on the request of people in their profiles that they want a personality, and got a one dimensional, bland response.

Recently I messaged a couple after their profile said they were looking for a conversationalist, in which I messaged a little about myself, was inquisitive about them and asked questions, all I got in response was.

'Good thanks. Like you, we are finding it (Covid) boring.'

So everyone is guilty of it. If people asking for more than what they themselves give out, you have to decide if you have the time to invest in them. In general, I don't.

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By *ingleman2020Man
over a year ago

Great advice, I find it odd sometimes when I send a polite, but albeit sometimes bland introduction message and then get blocked. I do think there are some men that either send stupid messages or don’t handle rejection well, so I can partially understand why people would block or eventually grow tired and stop messages from males.

I do find that if a profile of a couple or a single female has more information, my message can be better tailored to them and therefore might have a better chance of a response. But it’s not an exact science they might not just like my face! So what can do you! Hehe

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Another condescending thread about guys and what a throw away commodity we are ..

I’ve a crap sarcastic profile..

I rarely message anyone and I have many friends and contacts now on here and have found meeting ( pre Covid ) very easy to come by ..

My advice to guys is ignore condescending couples, and tread your own path ..

Then you’ll find genuine people that are truly worth meeting..

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By *icknHMan
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I’m reasonably articulate, try to be nice and don’t send cock pics cos there’s one on my profile anyway.

But most of the time I’ll get filtered out on age by singles and by couples looking for an ‘exceptional male’ (whatever that is but obvs not me lol )

A lady on here once described it best when she wrote that arranging a meet was like ordering a pizza.....tick the ingredients and 45mins later it turns up lol !

Hope clubs open soon.....so much easier than Fab to meet nice people.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Well we're certainly getting tired of being told to go fuck ourselves when we politely decline men... And being told we're disgusting when pointing out we play bi. You'd have thought they'd have noticed on the profile... But ho hum the price you have to pay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we, and so many others who are looking for witty, smart guys have been doing it wrong. Taking the received wisdom around here too literally.

What did your status say?

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What did your status say?"

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"What did your status say?

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry. "

Ooh.... catapults?

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What did your status say?

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry.

Ooh.... catapults?"

Pfft. Clearly inferior to the almighty Trebuchet.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"What did your status say?

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry.

Ooh.... catapults?

Pfft. Clearly inferior to the almighty Trebuchet. "

More of a ballista fan personally...

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What did your status say?

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry.

Ooh.... catapults?

Pfft. Clearly inferior to the almighty Trebuchet.

More of a ballista fan personally... "

What, Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy?

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"What did your status say?

No idea any more! Probably asking something hilarious about cheese or seige weaponry.

Ooh.... catapults?

Pfft. Clearly inferior to the almighty Trebuchet.

More of a ballista fan personally...

What, Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy? "

Well he can become practically invisible..

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Well following this up a few weeks down the line and it seems like it's all come to nothing. Most good prospects have deleted their accounts or some other nonsense one way or another.

Back to the route 1, good looking single men are chuffing useless!

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I always come across better in person. Writing profiles and answering on here feels awkward

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I always come across better in person. Writing profiles and answering on here feels awkward "

You don't seem to have proof read your profile for starters.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Well following this up a few weeks down the line and it seems like it's all come to nothing. Most good prospects have deleted their accounts or some other nonsense one way or another.

Back to the route 1, good looking single men are chuffing useless!"

Was it the B52 thing ? I thought that was a great idea

sorry it didn’t work out for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are the best for single guys.

Women and couples get so many messages, so not worth messaging.

I use to message people and put effort in them messages. Now I dont think its worth it anymore.

I have messaged women and couples, got no reply then I seen the same women and couples, at the clubs and got talking and playing before we knew what's what.

Clubs are the way and it's a shame they wont be open for a long time

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Clubs are the best for single guys.

Women and couples get so many messages, so not worth messaging.

I use to message people and put effort in them messages. Now I dont think its worth it anymore.

I have messaged women and couples, got no reply then I seen the same women and couples, at the clubs and got talking and playing before we knew what's what.

Clubs are the way and it's a shame they wont be open for a long time "

I've no doubt single women get plenty. But couples... Well... This couple... Don't. We get some, a bunch, but never for a second too many to read each one and specifically delete it on purpose.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

You're possibly right but replying to every crap message from every crap profile would be a full time job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all know women really like Dick Pics anyway

They just don't want them off guys with small dicks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're possibly right but replying to every crap message from every crap profile would be a full time job. "

Exactly.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Clubs are the best for single guys.

Women and couples get so many messages, so not worth messaging.

I use to message people and put effort in them messages. Now I dont think its worth it anymore.

I have messaged women and couples, got no reply then I seen the same women and couples, at the clubs and got talking and playing before we knew what's what.

Clubs are the way and it's a shame they wont be open for a long time "

Respectfully, I completely disagree. I would never recommend the club scene for a solo guy. I back up this statement based on my rather disappointing experiences of visiting several different clubs as a solo guy. I genuinely wish I could be more positive, but I have enjoyed far more success using Fab to meet genuine people for actual fun, am always treated as an equal, and never felt like I have to walk on eggshells, like you have to do in a club.

Maybe it’s because I live in an area which doesn’t have a swingers’ club on its doorstep, so people put more effort in to using Fab ‘properly’, rather than taking the easy option of popping down to the club and ‘seeing who’s in’? I’ll continue using Fab to find likeminded friendly people, who actually want to meet me thanks

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By *ustforfun49Man
over a year ago

chesterfield

We are all on here to have fun I have got cock pics on my profile but also body pics no face pics but when I get to know the person messaging me more then I will send them one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Clubs are the best for single guys.

Women and couples get so many messages, so not worth messaging.

I use to message people and put effort in them messages. Now I dont think its worth it anymore.

I have messaged women and couples, got no reply then I seen the same women and couples, at the clubs and got talking and playing before we knew what's what.

Clubs are the way and it's a shame they wont be open for a long time

Definitely must be the clubs you have been too.

The ones in the north east are absolutely amazing. I have been going for 18 month and have always got chatting to new and friendly people.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Clubs are the best for single guys.

Women and couples get so many messages, so not worth messaging.

I use to message people and put effort in them messages. Now I dont think its worth it anymore.

I have messaged women and couples, got no reply then I seen the same women and couples, at the clubs and got talking and playing before we knew what's what.

Clubs are the way and it's a shame they wont be open for a long time

Definitely must be the clubs you have been too.

The ones in the north east are absolutely amazing. I have been going for 18 month and have always got chatting to new and friendly people.

Club f has definitely been the most friendly I’ve visited (not been to Shh), but I’ve also been there on nights when clearly solo guys weren’t required. It’s pot luck for solo guys (in any club) unless you choose events carefully, or arrange a meet inside beforehand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use to send clear, informative, constructive intros without any luck at all. Personally now I feel the initial introduction message should be short & direct without all the b/s that many feel is needed.

For me it really is a case of if i'm their type, also difficult without a picture but I need my anonymity to some degree. From previous experience & this does make a difference, it's a shame, if a woman doesn't like long haired guys the whole process is a waste of time for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/11/20 12:40:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"TBH, Ive long given up on these sort of profiles. The list of endless rules, must have this, must have that, if you've read this then post this word.

No thanks, I'm here for fun and laughs with like-minded folk. Not pander to the egos of folk pretending to be something they're not."

This used to be us lol. When we looked at it from a third person, we completely deleted and started again. Must have been so off putting for people reading all the things you’re not looking for instead of something about us.

We don’t mind a few do’s and don’ts in a profile but the ‘Spin around 4 times under a full moon on the 56th Octember, then write tasty pop flaps in the subject header etc etc blah blah”, we can’t be bothered with despite how appealing the profile might be. The best message we actually got from a single guy was actually a blank profile but he told us a little about him, included some clothed pics and face and actually led up to a fun meet with the guy. Not a dick pic in sight at any time with Mrs LR not even seeing it until it was in her hand

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