FabSwingers.com forum: Hand on boob etiquette

By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

So it’s happened a few times now where we’ve been playing on a bed near another couple.

And the guy of the other couple has taken Chris’s hand and put it on his partners boob.

Which does initiate play, but Chris is bit iffy about it. He’s concerned as to whether the guys partner has actually consented or agreed. He’s then in the position of asking her when his hand is already in position if it’s ok...

Which is going to get super awkward if she hasn’t agreed and particularly if she hasn’t necessarily seen her partner take Chris’s hand ??

I don’t think this has happened just to us, we’ve seen it happen to others.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm straight so I wouldn't welcome it anyway.

I'd say there is only one issue here and that's consent. You have not consented to him involving you in sexual activity with his partner and you don't know if she has either. As far as I'm concerned you ask first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had this when playing on couples beds with my former wife. Normal protocol was either silent signals such as the ladies moving there hands closer to each other until they touch, and which point one may gently try to move the others hand toward them. No resistance meant a yes to the invite. And the other was the female quietly asking the other female if it was OK to start contact. As our rules and boundaries were already set before we got to the club I, as male didn't need to accept as my wife had the authority to do so on my behalf. No sexual contact would happen without some sort of request and acceptance between couples though, it was a couples bed not the orgy bed.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"So it’s happened a few times now where we’ve been playing on a bed near another couple.

And the guy of the other couple has taken Chris’s hand and put it on his partners boob.

Which is going to get super awkward if she hasn’t agreed and particularly if she hasn’t necessarily seen her partner take Chris’s hand ??

I don’t think this has happened just to us, we’ve seen it happen to others."

I'm with chris, I'd ask if that was alright too

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

[Removed by poster at 27/10/20 19:36:32]

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

"Never had this when playing on couples beds with my former wife. Normal protocol was either silent signals such as the ladies moving there hands closer to each other until they touch, and which point one may gently try to move the others hand toward them. No resistance meant a yes to the invite. And the other was the female quietly asking the other female if it was OK to start contact. As our rules and boundaries were already set before we got to the club I, as male didn't need to accept as my wife had the authority to do so on my behalf. No sexual contact would happen without some sort of request and acceptance between couples though, it was a couples bed not the orgy bed."

That’s how we started off, Julia making hand to hand contact with the other lady. But then we started thinking about it and thought well if the other lady’s not bi curious then that might be awkward as well. Although all ladies have been lovely so far in being happy to play bi.

We may be overthinking this a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds awkwardly complicated. Surely you could discuss it before it got to the bedroom? When I'm in bed with a guy I don't want him to be constantly checking for consent, it's such a buzz kill. Consent is important of course but I'd have discussed it before heading into the bedroom personally.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

"This sounds awkwardly complicated. Surely you could discuss it before it got to the bedroom? When I'm in bed with a guy I don't want him to be constantly checking for consent, it's such a buzz kill. Consent is important of course but I'd have discussed it before heading into the bedroom personally. "

These have been more club situations where we’ve been randomly on a big group bed.

Hotels and private meetings no this issue would not arise.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

When we've been in the big bed situation, we'll use eye contact with the couple next to us while we're playing. Make it obvious we're into them. Then maybe some compliments and moving a little closer towards them.

If they reciprocate with those little signals then we might move on to some neutral contact, like brushing against an arm or holding a hand. If they pull away then we leave it. If not or they reciprocate then we'll step it up a little from there.

I don't think we'd ever just grab someone's hand and plonk it on a boob without some signals that this would be OK all round

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