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You are a slut

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just got told this on a chat room ( not fab lol) and now if this had been on mothers meeting or something then Okay.. but this was on a swinging site.. lol

Apparently the fact I have had more than 10 men in the last year makes me a slut...

I had to laugh..and just said Why thank you..its nice to be among fellow sluts..

Her reply I honestly can not put lol

But does it ever bother you if a fellow swinger, or someone from a site like this calls you a name like that.. or infers that because of your sexual pleasures that your dirty..

Now for me coming from someone on here it would just make me laugh.. although I would expect someone from outside the lifestyle to be shocked.

Cali

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I just got told this on a chat room ( not fab lol) and now if this had been on mothers meeting or something then Okay.. but this was on a swinging site.. lol

Apparently the fact I have had more than 10 men in the last year makes me a slut...

I had to laugh..and just said Why thank you..its nice to be among fellow sluts..

Her reply I honestly can not put lol

But does it ever bother you if a fellow swinger, or someone from a site like this calls you a name like that.. or infers that because of your sexual pleasures that your dirty..

Now for me coming from someone on here it would just make me laugh.. although I would expect someone from outside the lifestyle to be shocked.

Cali "

I think calling myself a slut is cool, I wouldn't dream of calling someone else one... in or out of swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As swingers we all have sex....so raise a glass to us sluts! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got called a slut once on a night out by a girl I know, she was tipsy and I laughed it off and said "takes one to know one".

It shuts them up pretty quick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

now I have to be honest Cali, you've shocked me a few times. But that's just because I've never met anyone with your preferences and sometimes I'm a bit naive lol. But that doesn't mean I'd call you a slut or other names. As long as someone is happy with what they do and not hurt anyone what's wrong with that?

I've realised though that there are a lot of judgemental people on here and other sites. Some people are all open minded as long as it's withing their boundaries. If it goes beyond that they get judgemental. Which is such a silly thing to do. They forget that their preferences and sex life would probably shock most average citizen outside the swinger world and they'd be called sluts and worse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It just made me laugh as the she was actually saying she was shocked as a girl she knows had 6 guys last month...

I asked her what was wrong with that.. and that was barely two a week.. lol

Basically she said anyone that had more than 10 guys a year was a slut.. so I said I preferred 10 or more at a time..which is the honest truth.. and she went off on one calling me a slut..and how could I live with myself..

and I rarely mean to shock.. its just on places like here.. why should I hide who I am and what I like

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont you do like 10 men in a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dos,nt it take one to know one ?? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the difference is the decision making process that goes with it....

For most people on here, they have made a conscious lifestyle choice and attend to all the healthcare aspects of this.

There is such a thing as a slut but in my opinion that would be where there has been no thought, no planning, no conscious decision, no lifestyle choice, no respect for oneself or others and no safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I do believe that people who are so quick to say things like that should look at themselves a bit more deeply to see why they need to do that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

~Nope not bothered as long as its true lol hehehhehe

We on here are here because we love sex ; with that goes a stigma that some others might find offensive and even more so the group of people who are just plain jealous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens a lot on here, people turning you down because you have to many verifications, people telling you now you choose to swing is wrong, some people come on here to have a kind oif 4 way marrage, they have no interest in meeting many and if thats what they what thats fine, personally i find it odd that someone would use a swingers site to meet one exclusive couple/single but i would never call them for it so dont call me for doing it how i like

Slut is so childish, its the kind of thing id expect 15 year olds to call each other, not adults and certainly not ones that think they are open minded when they obviously arnt

10 men this year? ive dont that in a night lol

I find it mainly with couple, they think they have swinging sussed and how they do it is right and low and behold anyone who clooses to do thing different to them, i get so many couples mail me almost demanding to know why i dont meet couples and tell me im not a swinger if i dont......ermmm news flash im not a swinger if i do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all I think a lot of it is jealousy and they wish to be doing what you are doing and not got the bottle. Just smile it off x

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

yes Cali I get called names, and yes it also upsets me sometimes because my point of _iew differs from the name caller, underneath it all, we are all human beings and we all have our own _iews about life, love, sex and shopping, one could say 500000 shades of grey and even then you probably still wouldn't cover everyones _iews, all I can say is that seemingly the more educated swingers will never judge you, or your choices and the odd person that throws out nasty comments are either neanderthals or else they somehow envy you!!!!.

hugz n stuff, Ruby, xxx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

But does it ever bother you if a fellow swinger, or someone from a site like this calls you a name like that.. or infers that because of your sexual pleasures that your dirty..

"

Usually it makes me happy.... as it confirms how superior I am and what a pathetic twat they are..... besides, it's a great insight into their guilt and fears...... projective identification and transferance, ya' gotta love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hope you were graceful in your acceptance of their compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happens a lot on here, people turning you down because you have to many verifications, people telling you now you choose to swing is wrong, some people come on here to have a kind oif 4 way marrage, they have no interest in meeting many and if thats what they what thats fine, personally i find it odd that someone would use a swingers site to meet one exclusive couple/single but i would never call them for it so dont call me for doing it how i like

Slut is so childish, its the kind of thing id expect 15 year olds to call each other, not adults and certainly not ones that think they are open minded when they obviously arnt

10 men this year? ive dont that in a night lol

I find it mainly with couple, they think they have swinging sussed and how they do it is right and low and behold anyone who clooses to do thing different to them, i get so many couples mail me almost demanding to know why i dont meet couples and tell me im not a swinger if i dont......ermmm news flash im not a swinger if i do "

I wonder if when people turn you down due to your number of verifications it's actually because they feel intimidated .... that they may feel a little insecure of themselves because it would seem as though more verifications means more experience, better lay, etc etc etc - although obviously not always the case.

I have felt like that when looking at verifications ...... kind of blimey ... they've been with all sorts of attractive looking people I'd feel I little like an ugly cousin.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I do believe that people who are so quick to say things like that should look at themselves a bit more deeply to see why they need to do that? "

That's the thing HP, generally they do look at themselves and what they do.... and worry other people will say it about them, so they point at other people to divert attention.

The rest just wish they had the balls to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I heard a comedian saying "It's only other women who call women sluts, guys just call them"

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Slut by name and nature, but very fussy - that's me.

That person sounds so disrespectful Cali, they're not the sort of person I'd give anything more than basic human respect to.

It's a weak person that has to get a rise out of trying to put another down. Seems you're much stronger.

It is refreshing to largely be around others where you can be yourself, not expect/get get put-downs, abuse etc. It's a gold standard way of life. I avoid the tarnish/filth out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happens a lot on here, people turning you down because you have to many verifications, people telling you now you choose to swing is wrong, some people come on here to have a kind oif 4 way marrage, they have no interest in meeting many and if thats what they what thats fine, personally i find it odd that someone would use a swingers site to meet one exclusive couple/single but i would never call them for it so dont call me for doing it how i like

Slut is so childish, its the kind of thing id expect 15 year olds to call each other, not adults and certainly not ones that think they are open minded when they obviously arnt

10 men this year? ive dont that in a night lol

I find it mainly with couple, they think they have swinging sussed and how they do it is right and low and behold anyone who clooses to do thing different to them, i get so many couples mail me almost demanding to know why i dont meet couples and tell me im not a swinger if i dont......ermmm news flash im not a swinger if i do

I wonder if when people turn you down due to your number of verifications it's actually because they feel intimidated .... that they may feel a little insecure of themselves because it would seem as though more verifications means more experience, better lay, etc etc etc - although obviously not always the case.

I have felt like that when looking at verifications ...... kind of blimey ... they've been with all sorts of attractive looking people I'd feel I little like an ugly cousin."

lol funny i feel like that sometimes

Ive never turned down anyone for having to many verification but only yesterday i turned a guy down because the last women he met was 19, i looked at her pics and thought.....fuck it im not even going to try and compeat with that

so i suppose it could be part intimidation, part judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

each to their own...however there are some people who wish to have relationships of sorts and feel they can cast judgement on others.U normally find they have angry profiles status updates.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Apparently the fact I have had more than 10 men in the last year makes me a slut"

If thats the case.... I'm a slut too.... And I'll bet theres lots and lots of other sluts here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the difference is the decision making process that goes with it....

For most people on here, they have made a conscious lifestyle choice and attend to all the healthcare aspects of this.

There is such a thing as a slut but in my opinion that would be where there has been no thought, no planning, no conscious decision, no lifestyle choice, no respect for oneself or others and no safety."

I don;t think it is anywhere near as black and white as that. Infact I think the notion that swingers are on some superior emotional/intellectual level is frankly laughable.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

The most stupid thing I ever heard a female say on here were words to the effect of... some of the women who are sexually assulted (or worse) when they go out at the weekend are asking for it because of how they dress.

I can accept that from a woman dressed in a polyester twin-set and American tan tights..... but when it's someone openly sharing photos of their tits out, you gotta wonder if someone forgot to make the sandwiches and the tupperwear is empty.

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By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon

Cali you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself ten a year...lightweight!!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I think the difference is the decision making process that goes with it....

For most people on here, they have made a conscious lifestyle choice and attend to all the healthcare aspects of this.

There is such a thing as a slut but in my opinion that would be where there has been no thought, no planning, no conscious decision, no lifestyle choice, no respect for oneself or others and no safety."

I can't really see someone who just goes with an urge in the moment and someone who plans it all out and gives it a label making a difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And so it comes up again , the slut name calling but this time with a twist !

Was the other site a sex site or just a face book type site Cali ?

If it was a vanilla site- of course you would expect to be called a slut ! And not in a complimentary way because that's how most women who have multiple partners will be perceived - and that's vanilla society for you .

In response to whether as swingers we have some kind of superior lifestyle choice I agree with the comment from wheels - it isn't that black and White and know that not all swingers are careful with what they do .

The volume of verifications is sometimes a problem , and if folk don't wanna play with us because we have too many meets - oh well , never mind - their loss !

We too have turned meets down when the last few verifications have been from stunning young things - and that's a confidence issue as NN says but we have never turned down folk with too many verifications .

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By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon


"I think the difference is the decision making process that goes with it....

For most people on here, they have made a conscious lifestyle choice and attend to all the healthcare aspects of this.

There is such a thing as a slut but in my opinion that would be where there has been no thought, no planning, no conscious decision, no lifestyle choice, no respect for oneself or others and no safety.

I can't really see someone who just goes with an urge in the moment and someone who plans it all out and gives it a label making a difference."

Nor can I..smacks of superior slutdom

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

There are many sexual things people put on this site that that others havent done or are less likely to share with people. Personally cali i dont think you do anything others on this site havent done, just your more open about it. Ive certainly never been an angel ive just calmed down more as ive got older. Maybe you should introduce the woman to this site she would have a field day lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol 'smacks of superior slutdom'

What a great turn of phrase

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It makes me laugh when people make judgements based on how many verifications or by who - we all choose which or all or non of our verifications! So if I just show 2 which are not explicit then people might decide I am sedate, not realising that I have 50 more from the last month alone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But does it ever bother you if a fellow swinger, or someone from a site like this calls you a name like that.. or infers that because of your sexual pleasures that your dirty..

OOH !! I LOVE that bra....sexay !!

Usually it makes me happy.... as it confirms how superior I am and what a pathetic twat they are..... besides, it's a great insight into their guilt and fears...... projective identification and transferance, ya' gotta love it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poly community took back the word slut and made it positive, by using the term 'Ethical Slut' (I recommend the book of the same name by the way).

I think most, if not all swingers can be classed as ethical sluts and what is wrong with that?!

I remember back when I was 18, my mum was arguing with me and told me that I was getting a reputation in our area for being a slut. I wasn't bothered to be honest. I enjoyed sex, was single and always practiced safe sex. Who was I hurting?

The thing that was really frustrating was by the time my younger brother hit 18 - and was still a virgin - my mum moaned at him for not getting out there and enjoying being single (her implication was for him to have casual sex). So why was it ok for him to but not me? Durr, I'm a female. I'm supposed to be chaste and innocent or no man will want to marry me. Oops I forgot, lol.

Simple fact is that society still _iews male and female sexploits as different. So a promiscuous male is considered a sex god whereas a promiscuous female is just a slut.

I agree with the poly community - take back 'slut' and make it positive. I am proud to be an ethical slut, regardless of my gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As swingers we all have sex....so raise a glass to us sluts! Xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happens a lot on here, people turning you down because you have to many verifications, people telling you now you choose to swing is wrong, some people come on here to have a kind oif 4 way marrage, they have no interest in meeting many and if thats what they what thats fine, personally i find it odd that someone would use a swingers site to meet one exclusive couple/single but i would never call them for it so dont call me for doing it how i like

Slut is so childish, its the kind of thing id expect 15 year olds to call each other, not adults and certainly not ones that think they are open minded when they obviously arnt

10 men this year? ive dont that in a night lol

I find it mainly with couple, they think they have swinging sussed and how they do it is right and low and behold anyone who clooses to do thing different to them, i get so many couples mail me almost demanding to know why i dont meet couples and tell me im not a swinger if i dont......ermmm news flash im not a swinger if i do

I wonder if when people turn you down due to your number of verifications it's actually because they feel intimidated .... that they may feel a little insecure of themselves because it would seem as though more verifications means more experience, better lay, etc etc etc - although obviously not always the case.

I have felt like that when looking at verifications ...... kind of blimey ... they've been with all sorts of attractive looking people I'd feel I little like an ugly cousin.

lol funny i feel like that sometimes

Ive never turned down anyone for having to many verification but only yesterday i turned a guy down because the last women he met was 19, i looked at her pics and thought.....fuck it im not even going to try and compeat with that

so i suppose it could be part intimidation, part judgemental "

But YOU turned him down - so who's the one being judgemental about you??? Who cares how old the last girl he fucked was? He was chatting to you for a reason, and had no doubt read your profile (well, there's always hope!).

Intrigues me why you would turn someone down just on the basis of the age of the last person he fucked, and your assumption that you 'cannot compete'...??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just got told this on a chat room ( not fab lol) and now if this had been on mothers meeting or something then Okay.. but this was on a swinging site.. lol

Apparently the fact I have had more than 10 men in the last year makes me a slut...

I had to laugh..and just said Why thank you..its nice to be among fellow sluts..

Her reply I honestly can not put lol

But does it ever bother you if a fellow swinger, or someone from a site like this calls you a name like that.. or infers that because of your sexual pleasures that your dirty..

Now for me coming from someone on here it would just make me laugh.. although I would expect someone from outside the lifestyle to be shocked.

Cali "

Just checked the OED and Chambers and you will be pleased to learn, Cali, that there is no official 'quantitive guidelines' as to what determines ones 'sluttiness'....... So tell her to piss off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

unfortunely i am always sad when a woman calls another woman a slut because while woman define what is expectable way to behave man will still think they can use these terms as a way of hurling insults. while cali i don't choose to do what u do i and equally sure u wouldn't like to do what i do but never heard u insult anyone for there preferences xxxx

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


"The most stupid thing I ever heard a female say on here were words to the effect of... some of the women who are sexually assulted (or worse) when they go out at the weekend are asking for it because of how they dress.

I can accept that from a woman dressed in a polyester twin-set and American tan tights..... but when it's someone openly sharing photos of their tits out, you gotta wonder if someone forgot to make the sandwiches and the tupperwear is empty."

Shouldn't take it from anyone, really.

Victim blaming is despicable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey I only got two weeks left before school hols and have been doubling up two meets a day what does that make me lol x

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Wish I was a slut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the context, M is always calling me a dirty slut as he is fucking me, his favourite being "you filthy little cum slut" as he covers my face in his cum. In this context it is very hot to hear! you can imagine if it is in a nasty way then it isn't so nice to hear, but then neither is any word used against you like that.

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

i love been called a slut while been fucked or sucking cock , or licking pussy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cali you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself ten a year...lightweight!!"

If I had only had ten a year I'd be heading for the convent...

It was my I like that in a night comment that threw her... I wouldn't have shocked her and told her how many this year. Lol

To be honest it rarely bothers me...

Cali

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I happen to think that what 'we' do is completely normal and I've only been an official swinger for eight weeks or so.

Of course I question the reason why I'm doing it, especially as I was the sort of teen that found comfort in the attention of men instead of getting it at home, but all I feel is liberated. What I do is legitimate and is nobody's business but my own.

I prefer 'prolific'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It makes me laugh when people make judgements based on how many verifications or by who - we all choose which or all or non of our verifications! So if I just show 2 which are not explicit then people might decide I am sedate, not realising that I have 50 more from the last month alone... "

Cali she was possibly just jealous. Glad you're not bothered by it. Someone on here called me something similar and it was a bit 'off' I thought. Sod 'em!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May they ain't gettin any and there well jel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But YOU turned him down - so who's the one being judgemental about you??? Who cares how old the last girl he fucked was? He was chatting to you for a reason, and had no doubt read your profile (well, there's always hope!).

Intrigues me why you would turn someone down just on the basis of the age of the last person he fucked, and your assumption that you 'cannot compete'...??????

"

that was just one example, i was just saying that i have truned people down for that reason so i guess they could turn me down for the same, because someone on my verification list didnt appeal to them, you hear it all the time, people wont meet if others have bi guys on their list, if they play with other who do bareback etc. the 19 year old putting me off meeting someone was just one example, then again some just dont like to meet others who have met a lot regardless of who they are

As for why i would turn someone down because they met a 19 year old? well that just comes down to my own feeling, because i would feel very insecure getting my saggy bits out to a guy who only one week earlier was fucking a 19 year old

Thats something thats just personal to me, you may not understand why i would feel like that but we are all different

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Sometimes I at numbers (e.g. recently heard of one person who had well over double figures in a day) but in no way judgemental, just dunno where they get the fecking energy! I've been on the wrong side of the "slut" term in my vanilla life in the past....water off a duck's back for me, I always reckon while someone's having a go at me, they're leaving another person who may bother about it alone .....but the thing that makes me more than anything else is that someone on a site like this can possibly think another person a slut or similar....it's not fecking mumsnet.com ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But YOU turned him down - so who's the one being judgemental about you??? Who cares how old the last girl he fucked was? He was chatting to you for a reason, and had no doubt read your profile (well, there's always hope!).

Intrigues me why you would turn someone down just on the basis of the age of the last person he fucked, and your assumption that you 'cannot compete'...??????

"

Did you mean this in a nice way? I'm feeling that you did. I like this comment a lot as I'd never thought of it that way before. Good point, if the bloke had initiated the chat then he was clearly interested for some reason.

I know a 'young' (28) year old bloke that gets loads of offers from young (early 20's) girls, but he much prefers 'older' (35+) women. He says that 'older' women are more fun, less self conscious, more adventurous, and tend not to be 'stuck up' like younger women can be. And he really means it in a nice way too. I don't know if that comes across right.

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