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For Submissive Women (what wouldn't you do)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So this post is making for submissive women, so instead of me asking what you allow, tell me what are the boundaries you wouldn't cross when allowing a man to be your master/dominant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely that depends on how well you know someone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely that depends on how well you know someone? "
true and fair enough but let's assume that you don't know the person very well and you're exploring this with him (or her) for the first few times, what would you be open to.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit."

Exactly this!

Limits change depending on the person and the connection you have with them. Asking a complete stranger who you’ve had no interaction with is like a broken pencil

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"Surely that depends on how well you know someone? "

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Op you have no idea how a Dom / Sub relationship works atall..

Get some experience and stop embarrassing yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit.

Exactly this!

Limits change depending on the person and the connection you have with them. Asking a complete stranger who you’ve had no interaction with is like a broken pencil "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the OP has watched 50 Shades and misunderstood what a Dom/Sub relationship is all about.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I cant help picturing father Ted explaining to dougal the difference between dreams and reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly that. Trust needs to be established.

Why would OP assume you can do anything else with someone you don’t know well is beyond me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit."

It's just a question (facepalm) just trying to be interactive in the forums by asking a slew of different questions. I asked about cuckolding in another post on the forums and about how many times have you ever came in one day (by yourself or with someone)

I think you have a really horrible opinion about me or something because I don't get it. The reason why I asked ppl what they wouldn't do is because of the psychology behind the question. If you ask someone what they don't rather than what they do, their answers tend to be shorter and thus as I wanted the post to be very interactive and make ppl want to answer.

Anyway have a lovely day and take care.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I'll post this and as usual try to not offend anyone's feelings and be respectful.

This is a forum where questions are asked. It is done to be interactive with each other.

I don't see the need personally if you're not going to contribute to the overall discussion of the post to attack the OP of the thread (like me in this instance) to me it doesn't make sense and sense as you've seen I've refused to engage in replying in kind, all I did on the other post and this one was clarify anything that might have been vague or misleading about the post and also to ask the fundamental question of why reply to a post of the premise of it is to attack the OP and not add to the discussion.

For me personally that type of behavior makes no sense to me. I don't believe nor do I practice that type of behavior because it is about trying to make ppl feel welcome.

Most of this stuff is new to me (hence the questions) and I really don't think I'm asking them in a particularly offensive manner. But like I said to each their own. For me I'll stop replying to comments that are designed to attack me and not move the discussion forward in some substantive way.

Cheers to you, and have a lovely day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I'll post this and as usual try to not offend anyone's feelings and be respectful.

This is a forum where questions are asked. It is done to be interactive with each other.

I don't see the need personally if you're not going to contribute to the overall discussion of the post to attack the OP of the thread (like me in this instance) to me it doesn't make sense and sense as you've seen I've refused to engage in replying in kind, all I did on the other post and this one was clarify anything that might have been vague or misleading about the post and also to ask the fundamental question of why reply to a post of the premise of it is to attack the OP and not add to the discussion.

For me personally that type of behavior makes no sense to me. I don't believe nor do I practice that type of behavior because it is about trying to make ppl feel welcome.

Most of this stuff is new to me (hence the questions) and I really don't think I'm asking them in a particularly offensive manner. But like I said to each their own. For me I'll stop replying to comments that are designed to attack me and not move the discussion forward in some substantive way.

Cheers to you, and have a lovely day. "

Yep plenty people telling you that you have no clue. Some being quite nasty with it. But not many willing to help you try and understand. Maybe best if you just try doing a forum Search for previous submissive or dom threads. Reading through these can give you a lot of different viewpoints on the subjects.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit.

It's just a question (facepalm) just trying to be interactive in the forums by asking a slew of different questions. I asked about cuckolding in another post on the forums and about how many times have you ever came in one day (by yourself or with someone)

I think you have a really horrible opinion about me or something because I don't get it. The reason why I asked ppl what they wouldn't do is because of the psychology behind the question. If you ask someone what they don't rather than what they do, their answers tend to be shorter and thus as I wanted the post to be very interactive and make ppl want to answer.

Anyway have a lovely day and take care. "

My checklist is 12 pages long, and of that my hard limits list is probably at least a third of it because the template list is extremely comprehensive and includes things like scat, branding, cutting and other more niche or extreme kinks. So actually, the list of what I won’t do in a BDSM context is very long, you’d be entirely bored if I gave you the whole list. Which I’m not going to do because it’s no-one’s business. But as an example, face fucking is a hard limit for me because I’m borderline emetophobic and it makes me throw up. Anal is a soft limit because I’ll only do it with someone I trust. And these are things that probably most on here think are pretty vanilla.

As for why people react worse to this topic than the other questions you’ve posted, it’s because people who call themselves Doms but don’t know what they’re doing are extremely dangerous to us subs (certainly the women, I don’t know if it’s as bad for male subs), and so it’s an emotive topic for us. If you aren’t happy with the answers you get here, there are plenty of good resources online for you to educate yourself, and honestly I’d recommend that you do that anyway if you want to keep calling yourself a Dom and you want people to take that seriously.

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"Surely that depends on how well you know someone? "

^^^ this . It can change from person to person.

Also just because someone is a sub doesn’t make them a sub for everyone. Side note I’m not

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

I think I can see where the confusion is here, I don't there are a few profiles on here where there are very experienced dom/sub relationships, there is a huge difference between an experienced dom and just a man/woman being dominate in the bedroom. I'm definatly submissive and love being told ( only by my hubby) what to do in the bedroom, so I see him as the dominant one during sex and this is a far cry from being an actual dom, this needs trust,relationships, understanding and most of all alot of knowledge on this, it's a lifestyle rather than just waking up one morning and deciding I'm going to be a dom today.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

But I won't do that

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I think I can see where the confusion is here, I don't there are a few profiles on here where there are very experienced dom/sub relationships, there is a huge difference between an experienced dom and just a man/woman being dominate in the bedroom. I'm definatly submissive and love being told ( only by my hubby) what to do in the bedroom, so I see him as the dominant one during sex and this is a far cry from being an actual dom, this needs trust,relationships, understanding and most of all alot of knowledge on this, it's a lifestyle rather than just waking up one morning and deciding I'm going to be a dom today."

Think the BDSM label in porn is a major problem.

Personally I can see no psychology in rough sex.

To me, and I may have my own take on D/s, the D doesn’t take, they provide.

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By *apunzel the CocksuckerWoman
over a year ago

Here


"So this post is making for submissive women, so instead of me asking what you allow, tell me what are the boundaries you wouldn't cross when allowing a man to be your master/dominant?"

I wouldn't allow a man near me who was just playing at it and hasn't an idea what its all about. Maybe that will tell you a lot as you seem to be lacking in what its all about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I can see where the confusion is here, I don't there are a few profiles on here where there are very experienced dom/sub relationships, there is a huge difference between an experienced dom and just a man/woman being dominate in the bedroom. I'm definatly submissive and love being told ( only by my hubby) what to do in the bedroom, so I see him as the dominant one during sex and this is a far cry from being an actual dom, this needs trust,relationships, understanding and most of all alot of knowledge on this, it's a lifestyle rather than just waking up one morning and deciding I'm going to be a dom today."

Absolutely

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"So this post is making for submissive women, so instead of me asking what you allow, tell me what are the boundaries you wouldn't cross when allowing a man to be your master/dominant?

I wouldn't allow a man near me who was just playing at it and hasn't an idea what its all about. Maybe that will tell you a lot as you seem to be lacking in what its all about. "

Do men have to have long cocks or you put extensions in from the tower?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Off the top of my head:

no unprotected sex, no blindfolds, no restraints, no anal, no face fucking.

I won't do any of those things with people I don't know well.

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By *rscotsdudeMan
over a year ago

angus

Always find it annoying when you get profiles that state they have " no limits"

Thats crap, everyone has limits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit.

It's just a question (facepalm) just trying to be interactive in the forums by asking a slew of different questions. I asked about cuckolding in another post on the forums and about how many times have you ever came in one day (by yourself or with someone)

I think you have a really horrible opinion about me or something because I don't get it. The reason why I asked ppl what they wouldn't do is because of the psychology behind the question. If you ask someone what they don't rather than what they do, their answers tend to be shorter and thus as I wanted the post to be very interactive and make ppl want to answer.

Anyway have a lovely day and take care.

My checklist is 12 pages long, and of that my hard limits list is probably at least a third of it because the template list is extremely comprehensive and includes things like scat, branding, cutting and other more niche or extreme kinks. So actually, the list of what I won’t do in a BDSM context is very long, you’d be entirely bored if I gave you the whole list. Which I’m not going to do because it’s no-one’s business. But as an example, face fucking is a hard limit for me because I’m borderline emetophobic and it makes me throw up. Anal is a soft limit because I’ll only do it with someone I trust. And these are things that probably most on here think are pretty vanilla.

As for why people react worse to this topic than the other questions you’ve posted, it’s because people who call themselves Doms but don’t know what they’re doing are extremely dangerous to us subs (certainly the women, I don’t know if it’s as bad for male subs), and so it’s an emotive topic for us. If you aren’t happy with the answers you get here, there are plenty of good resources online for you to educate yourself, and honestly I’d recommend that you do that anyway if you want to keep calling yourself a Dom and you want people to take that seriously."

I never said I was a Dom or an experienced Dom or anything of the sort, just saying anyways no hard feelings and have a lovely evening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Off the top of my head:

no unprotected sex, no blindfolds, no restraints, no anal, no face fucking.

I won't do any of those things with people I don't know well. "

Fair enough and thanks for your contribution to the post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

"

The green arrow may explain some of the reactions. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

"

Much thanks and I never said in the post I'm a Dom, I'm an experienced Dom or anything of the sort, just a guy getting as many opinions as he can about the topic,much thanks for not going in on me (I'm rather exhausted having to defend myself everytime I post in a forum trying to get opinions)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

The green arrow may explain some of the reactions. X"

Ahhh ok, only just come on tonight so am playing catch up x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So this post is making for submissive women, so instead of me asking what you allow, tell me what are the boundaries you wouldn't cross when allowing a man to be your master/dominant?

I wouldn't allow a man near me who was just playing at it and hasn't an idea what its all about. Maybe that will tell you a lot as you seem to be lacking in what its all about. "

Again it was just an innocent question trying to get some opinions on the topic. I am very sorry you took offense. Have a lovely evening and take care.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

A D/S relationship is complicated I will try most things with my dom (apart from pee and poo) because I trust him and he can read my body. I know that if I use my safe word he will stop immediately and soothe me whereas I can't trust a total stranger

However there are a lot of men who have seen 50 shades (or porn) and decided that they are going to 'play' at being dom and they are very dangerous

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

First few times, working out how much I trust someone, I play vanilla. It's safer with an unknown person.

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By *wistedbambi69Woman
over a year ago

Somerset


"Why do you need to know the hard limits of people you’ll never meet? I only give a checklist to someone I’m serious about. Anyone else, especially in the first few meets, literally everything non-vanilla is a limit."

Totally this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely that depends on how well you know someone? "

This.

It’s not the same for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

Much thanks and I never said in the post I'm a Dom, I'm an experienced Dom or anything of the sort, just a guy getting as many opinions as he can about the topic,much thanks for not going in on me (I'm rather exhausted having to defend myself everytime I post in a forum trying to get opinions) "

Some people love to twist things that people say. Just ignore them.

You ask some interesting questions.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here. He isn't demanding anyone tell him anything, just opening discussion which you an choose to engage with or not.

OP I echo the sentiment of some on here who say there are a lot of men that play at being 'Dom' and that is why many women get defensive about questions like this.

X

Much thanks and I never said in the post I'm a Dom, I'm an experienced Dom or anything of the sort, just a guy getting as many opinions as he can about the topic,much thanks for not going in on me (I'm rather exhausted having to defend myself everytime I post in a forum trying to get opinions) "

No, you didn’t say it in your post, but you do say in your profile that you’re a Dom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love to be domed. I don't like anal, I don't mind it played with just don't things up it. X

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 13/10/20 08:31:15]

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Boundary set on Trust sliding scale

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