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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up." And then you woke up from your dream | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up. And then you woke up from your dream"  | |||
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Mr KC | |||
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"N is very submissive - and she'd never do this, as she'd be putting herself in danger. This is something that requires major amounts of trust. As a first meet - no.
Mr KC" | |||
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"The human vibrator strikes again. Dude we keep telling you where the story and fantasies section is." It's actually a question though but I needed to give the context and scene first lol | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. " She couldn’t possibly trust you enough after talking for two days, that’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even be willing to give anyone my address, never mind the rest of it. | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. Btw I did get her flowers lol which I gave her after I took off the blind fold and we sipped some wine (and beers) in between an almost 4 hour fuck session (yes she almost drained me lol and I hadn't slept at all that night, she came over almost 5 am in the morning lol) "
Do you often find fantasy bleeds into reality? | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. She couldn’t possibly trust you enough after talking for two days, that’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even be willing to give anyone my address, never mind the rest of it." That or a bunch of well hung boys turn up on his doorstep and he hears duelling banjos on the Bluetooth speaker. | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. Btw I did get her flowers lol which I gave her after I took off the blind fold and we sipped some wine (and beers) in between an almost 4 hour fuck session (yes she almost drained me lol and I hadn't slept at all that night, she came over almost 5 am in the morning lol) " No real Dom would ever post rubbish like this. You obviously learnt everything you know from the internet. | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. Btw I did get her flowers lol which I gave her after I took off the blind fold and we sipped some wine (and beers) in between an almost 4 hour fuck session (yes she almost drained me lol and I hadn't slept at all that night, she came over almost 5 am in the morning lol) No real Dom would ever post rubbish like this. You obviously learnt everything you know from the internet." I don't think anywhere I said I was a " real dom" or whatever that's suppose mean. I simply painted a scenario and asked if a woman would do this, obviously not every woman is into BDSM hence I specifically asked if a submissive woman would do this or if you're submissive enough to do it. Have no idea why ppl get so sensitive about these posts, it's a simple yes or no question with your reasons stating why, fair enough? | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. " Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. | |||
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" I don't think anywhere I said I was a " real dom" or whatever that's suppose mean. I simply painted a scenario and asked if a woman would do this, obviously not every woman is into BDSM hence I specifically asked if a submissive woman would do this or if you're submissive enough to do it. Have no idea why ppl get so sensitive about these posts, it's a simple yes or no question with your reasons stating why, fair enough?" Your profile claims you’re a Dom though. And maybe people wouldn’t be so “sensitive” as you put it if you didn’t say stupid things like “are you submissive enough” - it’s much too close to bollocks like “a real sub would” etc. I’m extremely submissive with the right person, but crap like this makes my hand itch for a crop. | |||
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" I don't think anywhere I said I was a " real dom" or whatever that's suppose mean. I simply painted a scenario and asked if a woman would do this, obviously not every woman is into BDSM hence I specifically asked if a submissive woman would do this or if you're submissive enough to do it. Have no idea why ppl get so sensitive about these posts, it's a simple yes or no question with your reasons stating why, fair enough? Your profile claims you’re a Dom though. And maybe people wouldn’t be so “sensitive” as you put it if you didn’t say stupid things like “are you submissive enough” - it’s much too close to bollocks like “a real sub would” etc. I’m extremely submissive with the right person, but crap like this makes my hand itch for a crop."
Yes reading these posts would make me itch to switch too | |||
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" I don't think anywhere I said I was a " real dom" or whatever that's suppose mean. I simply painted a scenario and asked if a woman would do this, obviously not every woman is into BDSM hence I specifically asked if a submissive woman would do this or if you're submissive enough to do it. Have no idea why ppl get so sensitive about these posts, it's a simple yes or no question with your reasons stating why, fair enough?" What is "submissive enough"? Is someone somehow not submissive if they wouldn't? Sorry, but I would respectfully suggest someone was potentially *more* submissive for refusing to go along with a situation like that which could potentially place themselves in danger. | |||
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"Absolutely not. And you can knock it off with the “are you submissive enough” rubbish, it’s got nothing to do with how submissive someone is. If this is true not your fantasy, the woman in question is putting herself in terrible danger by having meets like this." Exactly this. And if someone was really a Dom they would never expect someone to do this the 1st time they met. | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. " And you have answers to that question you just don't like the ones you got. | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. " No - you actually said you did it. And it is borderline abuse in my opinion | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up. And then you woke up from your dream" Hahahhahaha | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. No - you actually said you did it. And it is borderline abuse in my opinion " | |||
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Mr RMB. | |||
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"Absolutely not. And you can knock it off with the “are you submissive enough” rubbish, it’s got nothing to do with how submissive someone is. If this is true not your fantasy, the woman in question is putting herself in terrible danger by having meets like this." Absolutely this. The “are you submissive enough” stuff is a form of manipulative language; it’s like saying “you’re too straight laced to have fun”. The other person then tries extremely hard to prove they will do the crazy thing you want. If this really happened and isn’t just a fantasy, it smacks of taking advantage to me. Feel free to have a different opinion of course | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. " You asked a question and you’re not happy with the answers given to you. And by trying to generalise it by saying it’s like asking someone if they’d let you cum inside them just proves that you have absolutely no understanding of the whole Dom/sub dynamic. | |||
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"To be honest, I have done things where I'd be putting myself in danger kinda similar to that but not blindfolded but it's when I really wasn't in the best place mentally & didn't really care about my own safety/not thinking straight. So wasn't a great time for me, but now I am trying to be more sensible while still having fun x " Fair enough, I can understand that, thanks for your comment. | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. You asked a question and you’re not happy with the answers given to you. And by trying to generalise it by saying it’s like asking someone if they’d let you cum inside them just proves that you have absolutely no understanding of the whole Dom/sub dynamic. " I'm more thank ok if ppl say no, you know my dear, the problem is when someone comments, tries in a sly way to attack the OP and doesn't even answer the question. I might not agree with something but I don't believe in trying to one belittle the person and 2 at the very least answer the question lol hahaha Answering the question is my primary points have you seen me reply in a negative way to anyone on this post thus far who have stated that no they'll never do that. So hence by that rationale there must have been something different about your response that made me reply to you, again fair enough. Anyways peace be to you and take care. | |||
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"Absolutely not. And you can knock it off with the “are you submissive enough” rubbish, it’s got nothing to do with how submissive someone is. If this is true not your fantasy, the woman in question is putting herself in terrible danger by having meets like this. Absolutely this. The “are you submissive enough” stuff is a form of manipulative language; it’s like saying “you’re too straight laced to have fun”. The other person then tries extremely hard to prove they will do the crazy thing you want. If this really happened and isn’t just a fantasy, it smacks of taking advantage to me. Feel free to have a different opinion of course "For me there was undertones. I guess things are different over here but I'm from the Caribbean and we basically say what we mean. So I tried my best to phrase the question in a way that would make the post engaging and get responses either for or against. Thanks again for the insight though, greatly appreciate it bruv. | |||
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"Absolutely not. And you can knock it off with the “are you submissive enough” rubbish, it’s got nothing to do with how submissive someone is. If this is true not your fantasy, the woman in question is putting herself in terrible danger by having meets like this. Absolutely this. The “are you submissive enough” stuff is a form of manipulative language; it’s like saying “you’re too straight laced to have fun”. The other person then tries extremely hard to prove they will do the crazy thing you want. If this really happened and isn’t just a fantasy, it smacks of taking advantage to me. Feel free to have a different opinion of course "Maybe I should have used a different word like brave but as it was about bdsm, I thought why not use the term submissive lol (shrugs shoulders) | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up." Fifty Shades comes to mind | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. You asked a question and you’re not happy with the answers given to you. And by trying to generalise it by saying it’s like asking someone if they’d let you cum inside them just proves that you have absolutely no understanding of the whole Dom/sub dynamic. I'm more thank ok if ppl say no, you know my dear, the problem is when someone comments, tries in a sly way to attack the OP and doesn't even answer the question. I might not agree with something but I don't believe in trying to one belittle the person and 2 at the very least answer the question lol hahaha Answering the question is my primary points have you seen me reply in a negative way to anyone on this post thus far who have stated that no they'll never do that. So hence by that rationale there must have been something different about your response that made me reply to you, again fair enough. Anyways peace be to you and take care. " There is nothing different in my response to the many others that have responded to your question so please don’t patronise me, my dear | |||
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"To be honest I think there are two groups not versed in the world of kink. OP and the over reaction to OP. I think OP's post merits the traditional and time honoured piss taking As my current reading material "The Domly Dom Manual" by Dominik McMaster and on Amazon states: "As stated become knowledgeable. Do not try to bullshill your way through. Wannabes do that and it is most un-Domly behaviour. And besides wannabes get found out in a real quick hurry and then get laughed at and made fun of. Which will really mess with your Domly confidence. People who want to become Dominants educate themselves about the lifestyle..." OP should have been pointed in the direction of negotiation and discussion of hard and soft limits. In real life people do really stupid stuff on first meets with people they barely know. I genuinely believe in not all cases that it goes brutally wrong. Most people treat it as a learning experience. I find it frustrating on Fab that just because a number of people do bedroom bandage or couple kink, they ignore those of us who started with pick up play at swinging and fetish clubs and who have played safely with people they barely know. OK it is bit like one night stands, people maybe should not do them (debateable) but if they are going to do it take the opportunity to explain how to do it as safely as possible. Good Luck" Thanks I appreciate the comment. To me it was basically like you said hard and soft limits. The woman who visited me wasn't harmed, she enjoyed the experience (a bit too much because the next we met up and had sex she said she loved me) so I'm not the kind of guy to really like rough up a young lady and if it does help I did tell her I was going to blindfold her b4 bringing her into my flat (if that counts for anything) but I am interested in the Dominant lifestyle but I would never make that a stipulation of any relationship tbh. For me it's what a woman is into and I adjust for the woman who I'm with at the time. | |||
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"Nope and if that means I'm 'not submissive enough' then okay. " | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up." That reminds me of a porn film I once saw It wasnt very good | |||
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"My biggest concern in such a situation is the guy 'forgetting' to put on a condom, and of course I wouldn't be able to see." I get that but that's something that was discussed b4 hand and we both showed each other our latest std results b4 deciding to go down that route. But I agree that is a big concern. Thanks for your contribution. | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. And you have answers to that question you just don't like the ones you got. " Again I have no problem with someone saying that's too much or too intense for them, again my point is to answer the question even if you want to criticise me that's cool (I'll not return the favour because that's not how I am) but at least say yes or no. In the case above the person never answered yes or no they chose to criticise and I chose to reply that at the very least, answer the question. Lol I have no idea why that's so hard to understand lol | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. And you have answers to that question you just don't like the ones you got. Again I have no problem with someone saying that's too much or too intense for them, again my point is to answer the question even if you want to criticise me that's cool (I'll not return the favour because that's not how I am) but at least say yes or no. In the case above the person never answered yes or no they chose to criticise and I chose to reply that at the very least, answer the question. Lol I have no idea why that's so hard to understand lol" But she did answer the question, she said your little fantasy story did nothing for her. She’s not the only person criticising you, several others have including myself. But for some reason she is the only one you’ve chosen to be rude and patronising towards. | |||
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"I am guessing they both had been taken by the 50 shades of guff?! " | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. And you have answers to that question you just don't like the ones you got. Again I have no problem with someone saying that's too much or too intense for them, again my point is to answer the question even if you want to criticise me that's cool (I'll not return the favour because that's not how I am) but at least say yes or no. In the case above the person never answered yes or no they chose to criticise and I chose to reply that at the very least, answer the question. Lol I have no idea why that's so hard to understand lol But she did answer the question, she said your little fantasy story did nothing for her. She’s not the only person criticising you, several others have including myself. But for some reason she is the only one you’ve chosen to be rude and patronising towards." Let me get this straight (trying to compute this in my brain for a sec) I have not said anything towards her other than she could just answer the question. Yet somehow I'm bekfn accused of being rude, I can't remember your previous comment but if you answered the question then cool, I wouldn't have a problem, but it's the need to try and insult someone (especially in a sly way) and it's a broken record now about me stressing to answer the question, so I'm good lol, smh lol | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up." no way | |||
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"Very intense for a first meet. Maybe once you've got to know each other and there is trust. The submissive is always the one in control really, and the submissive's pleasure is the key to entire interaction working. Imo anyway, but tbh I'm not massive into sub Dom stuff, and I've only really played when it's a long term relationship and then it all gets even weirder "May I put an alternative suggestion. When people have sex, do they have sex to please the other, or do they have sex to please themselves but in the way they have sex aim to please the other. I suggest personal satisfaction is first but any successful connection requires satisfaction of both parties. In a balanced relationship the wants and needs of both are met. I am very wary where (absence of abuse, being as safe as possible and the requirement of consent) people dictate how others should do their kink, or there is a right or wrong way to do kink. | |||
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" But she did answer the question, she said your little fantasy story did nothing for her. She’s not the only person criticising you, several others have including myself. But for some reason she is the only one you’ve chosen to be rude and patronising towards. Let me get this straight (trying to compute this in my brain for a sec) I have not said anything towards her other than she could just answer the question. Yet somehow I'm bekfn accused of being rude, I can't remember your previous comment but if you answered the question then cool, I wouldn't have a problem, but it's the need to try and insult someone (especially in a sly way) and it's a broken record now about me stressing to answer the question, so I'm good lol, smh lol " Condescendingly calling a woman “my dear”, especially when you don’t know each other, is something that most women find very rude. | |||
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"So in other words, you treated her like a piece of meat, bet u didn't expect all these responces..if anyone did that to me, the first place I would go is the police " I'm actually feeling like I should have shared the entire story lol (another note to self about how I post things on fab forums, sighs) b4 she came over I told her I would blind fold, she told me she likes to be dominated etc, while we didn't go into a lot of detail about all her likes and dislikes, we spoke enough that I knew what boundaries not to cross. Then when she came over I enacted the type of fantasy I felt she wanted fulfilled. Even surprised her with flowers later on etc (did you read that earlier when I was replying to someone else) so yes. I didn't go into all that lengthy detail because I didn't want it to seem like an erotic story, but I hope this might assuage some of your concerns. | |||
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"So in other words, you treated her like a piece of meat, bet u didn't expect all these responces..if anyone did that to me, the first place I would go is the police I'm actually feeling like I should have shared the entire story lol (another note to self about how I post things on fab forums, sighs) b4 she came over I told her I would blind fold, she told me she likes to be dominated etc, while we didn't go into a lot of detail about all her likes and dislikes, we spoke enough that I knew what boundaries not to cross. Then when she came over I enacted the type of fantasy I felt she wanted fulfilled. Even surprised her with flowers later on etc (did you read that earlier when I was replying to someone else) so yes. I didn't go into all that lengthy detail because I didn't want it to seem like an erotic story, but I hope this might assuage some of your concerns. " Ah yes, flowers, that important element of aftercare. Did you have a safeword and gesture? | |||
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"I’m sorry but I’m submissive and that story did nothing for me at all, for numerous reasons. There are too many wannabe Dom’s who seem to think dominating a submissive is easy. It takes time, effort and trust to form a connection, it just a few poorly written words. Face palm lol. This is why asking questions here can be annoying a times. Its basically a question about would you do this or not. It's like if I asked a question "would you let a cum inside of you the first time you meet him to have sex" you state yes or no and your reasons why. You don't have to make a long comment which doesn't even technically answer the question lol. Anyway no hard feelings bit just stating that it was a simple question. And you have answers to that question you just don't like the ones you got. Again I have no problem with someone saying that's too much or too intense for them, again my point is to answer the question even if you want to criticise me that's cool (I'll not return the favour because that's not how I am) but at least say yes or no. In the case above the person never answered yes or no they chose to criticise and I chose to reply that at the very least, answer the question. Lol I have no idea why that's so hard to understand lol But she did answer the question, she said your little fantasy story did nothing for her. She’s not the only person criticising you, several others have including myself. But for some reason she is the only one you’ve chosen to be rude and patronising towards. Let me get this straight (trying to compute this in my brain for a sec) I have not said anything towards her other than she could just answer the question. Yet somehow I'm bekfn accused of being rude, I can't remember your previous comment but if you answered the question then cool, I wouldn't have a problem, but it's the need to try and insult someone (especially in a sly way) and it's a broken record now about me stressing to answer the question, so I'm good lol, smh lol " I’m not entirely sure where in my response I came across as sly, I answered your question and stated in the first line of my response that the scenario did nothing for me. But apparently you took umbrage at the fact little old submissive me has an opinion that doesn’t match yours. Your responses directed at me have been incredibly condescending and patronising. And you still continue to be. My opinion is just as valid as the other members who have posted on this thread. | |||
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"No Im not submissive enough to do this sorry." I'm not either | |||
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" But she did answer the question, she said your little fantasy story did nothing for her. She’s not the only person criticising you, several others have including myself. But for some reason she is the only one you’ve chosen to be rude and patronising towards. Let me get this straight (trying to compute this in my brain for a sec) I have not said anything towards her other than she could just answer the question. Yet somehow I'm bekfn accused of being rude, I can't remember your previous comment but if you answered the question then cool, I wouldn't have a problem, but it's the need to try and insult someone (especially in a sly way) and it's a broken record now about me stressing to answer the question, so I'm good lol, smh lol Condescendingly calling a woman “my dear”, especially when you don’t know each other, is something that most women find very rude." Again if you know me you would know I always use those terms my dear and hun or honey, it's a term of endearment and I use it all the time tbh with you. If you checked my social media you'll see I reply to ppl a lot like that. Since moving to the UK though I've tried to stop using it so often, but it still comes out at times and again personally me saying that to anyone here is me saying we're cool even if you may be mad at me or we disagree on something. So yea me being polite is seen as condescending or possibly rude (throws hands in the air for surrender) I can't win at all lorl. But on a serious note a problem I do find on fab when I post being a black guy from the Caribbean I have to always be mindful of what I say and how I say it because it constantly gets taken out of context or made to feel like I'm trying to demean someone etc. It's one of the reasons why I stopped posting here for a while because one of the main reasons i joined fab was to get more insight into dating in the UK (because I'm doing a novel about my time over here as my thesis) and also to experience some nsa fun because I'm single. But it seems like it's stressful and really annoying at times that an innocent question can be turned into something morbid or harrowing. I'll probably make a post about this because it really does annoy me at times (I just have infinite patience so I don't lash out at ppl, I try to be respectful even when disagreeing) Anyways (I would insert my dear here but you'd probably take it the wrong way) have a lovely day and I'm from the Caribbean so we are genuine with what we say so when I say have a lovely day, I do mean that, take care. xx | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up." I am going to give my fellow carribean some support. Even though I would not put anyone at risk that way. For those on the kink scene will know that you have some female submissives who will do crazy things like that to prove their commitment. I am not saying it's right or I support this, but just making you aware that it is more a common behaviour, mindset and attitude than everyone thinks. Please don't fire at the messenger | |||
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"So in other words, you treated her like a piece of meat, bet u didn't expect all these responces..if anyone did that to me, the first place I would go is the police I'm actually feeling like I should have shared the entire story lol (another note to self about how I post things on fab forums, sighs) b4 she came over I told her I would blind fold, she told me she likes to be dominated etc, while we didn't go into a lot of detail about all her likes and dislikes, we spoke enough that I knew what boundaries not to cross. Then when she came over I enacted the type of fantasy I felt she wanted fulfilled. Even surprised her with flowers later on etc (did you read that earlier when I was replying to someone else) so yes. I didn't go into all that lengthy detail because I didn't want it to seem like an erotic story, but I hope this might assuage some of your concerns. Ah yes, flowers, that important element of aftercare. Did you have a safeword and gesture?" It honestly wasn't that intense, I wasn't dragging her all over the place and screaming at her etc. I and her just wanted to try something different. She wanted to be with someone more dominant and I wanted to try out something different on a first meet that was really about sex (even though like I said I met kn tinder) she really loved it to be honest and I mentioned it to a few women who are into that and they were turned on by it hence I decided to ask the question. Now if a woman wants to give me complete control etc then yea we'll have a safe word but from stuff I've seen here on fab and fetlife, I don't actually think I did that much tbh. Hope that answers your question. | |||
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"Are there any submissive women out there who would allow a first meet to go like this? So I had a first meet like this a time (from tinder but fab) where we were in the elevator coming to my flat and I blindfolded. Led her into the kitchen and then stripped her naked, tied her hands and made her bend over the kitchen counter, took my belt and whipped her ass for a few minutes (until it was red), then I ordered her on her knees and slapped her face with my dick a few times before letting her suck it and then face fucking her and then lifting her up and bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her. There is more but this was how it started up. I am going to give my fellow carribean some support. Even though I would not put anyone at risk that way. For those on the kink scene will know that you have some female submissives who will do crazy things like that to prove their commitment. I am not saying it's right or I support this, but just making you aware that it is more a common behaviour, mindset and attitude than everyone thinks. Please don't fire at the messenger " Thanks bruv I appreciate it and tbh some of the stuff I've seen between here and fetlife and some of things women have asked me to do makes me even pull back my head at times. Like for instance a first date with a lady (or we could call it a meet) at her hotel room we were talking and stuff and she asked me (mind this was this year) if I ever slapped a woman b4 and I was like no (even though I've done some bdsm stuff b4 back in my country i never slapped nor spotted on a woman) she then asked me to slap her, I gave her a little playful slap, she gave me one hard slap and told me that's what she likes and then told me to treat her like a slut, and abuse her etc and we had some really good bdsm type of sex. So that's just an example of what I've experienced across here, this was before I joined fab. Actually this was much much earlier in the year. | |||
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"No. There has to be trust first. Anyone willing to do this is stupidly putting themselves at risk. " Couldn’t have said it better myself | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy.. "That is key to any D/s dynamic, there will always be an agreement, a Dom always have a responsibility to protect a Sub, even during play. And there have to be an element of trust for a Sub to engage in certain activities. But Fab is not really the place that usually have that kind of play. Hence you putting yourself in the firing line my friend. | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy.. "I actually agree with you but it's like you're going to meet a guy to sleep with them for the first time and they tell you there favourite positions. She told me what she was into and how she liked to be fucked, so I was like ok. Sp hence the blindfold her on entry etc. She gets marks easily so it wasn't like if she was in pain etc, she just loves to be fucked hard, we were meeting for the first time and I thought ok I'll give her what she wants,so she'll keep on coming back for more (and she did) | |||
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"Guess I'm the only one that likes the sound of this "You take up the offer then | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
That is key to any D/s dynamic, there will always be an agreement, a Dom always have a responsibility to protect a Sub, even during play. And there have to be an element of trust for a Sub to engage in certain activities.
But Fab is not really the place that usually have that kind of play. Hence you putting yourself in the firing line my friend. "Fair enough and lesson learnt even though ppl on fab are very sensitive. I've been attacked on posts about penis size, snowbunny/queen of spades (even though that was a status update) and sometimes it's like wtf how do I ask questions and find things out of ppl are so uptight all the time about everything lol, (sighs) | |||
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"Absolutely not. And you can knock it off with the “are you submissive enough” rubbish, it’s got nothing to do with how submissive someone is. If this is true not your fantasy, the woman in question is putting herself in terrible danger by having meets like this." | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
I actually agree with you but it's like you're going to meet a guy to sleep with them for the first time and they tell you there favourite positions. She told me what she was into and how she liked to be fucked, so I was like ok. Sp hence the blindfold her on entry etc. She gets marks easily so it wasn't like if she was in pain etc, she just loves to be fucked hard, we were meeting for the first time and I thought ok I'll give her what she wants,so she'll keep on coming back for more (and she did) "Well if you both enjoyed it then it was a success but like others have said, its very intense for a first meet. Maybe practice sub/dom play with stronger connections next time? Would be awful if it all went a bit wrong! Guess from my pov fantasy can be just that.. a fantasy - but reality there needs much more trust and security. | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
That is key to any D/s dynamic, there will always be an agreement, a Dom always have a responsibility to protect a Sub, even during play. And there have to be an element of trust for a Sub to engage in certain activities.
But Fab is not really the place that usually have that kind of play. Hence you putting yourself in the firing line my friend.
Fair enough and lesson learnt even though ppl on fab are very sensitive. I've been attacked on posts about penis size, snowbunny/queen of spades (even though that was a status update) and sometimes it's like wtf how do I ask questions and find things out of ppl are so uptight all the time about everything lol, (sighs) "I think the issue was the title of your post and the implication that people who wouldn't do this are not 'submissive enough'. I'm not personally offended, but it is a bit of an offensive statement to make. This is a scene that would not appeal to people for different reasons - someone isn't 'less' of a submissive because they require trust or a connection or they take their safety seriously. In addition, as someone who has been in the BDSM lifestyle for 10 years, I can tell you that it's a tactic that predators take to prey on newbies - "You won't do XYZ? Well then, you're not REALLY a submissive" - cue some submissives doing things that they aren't comfortable with to try and prove themselves. I want to be very clear that I DO NOT think that is what you are doing, I just wanted to point out why your wording was problematic. | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
I actually agree with you but it's like you're going to meet a guy to sleep with them for the first time and they tell you there favourite positions. She told me what she was into and how she liked to be fucked, so I was like ok. Sp hence the blindfold her on entry etc. She gets marks easily so it wasn't like if she was in pain etc, she just loves to be fucked hard, we were meeting for the first time and I thought ok I'll give her what she wants,so she'll keep on coming back for more (and she did)
Well if you both enjoyed it then it was a success but like others have said, its very intense for a first meet. Maybe practice sub/dom play with stronger connections next time? Would be awful if it all went a bit wrong! Guess from my pov fantasy can be just that.. a fantasy - but reality there needs much more trust and security. "I totally agree with this. Also it has nothing to do with how submissive someone is. | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
That is key to any D/s dynamic, there will always be an agreement, a Dom always have a responsibility to protect a Sub, even during play. And there have to be an element of trust for a Sub to engage in certain activities.
But Fab is not really the place that usually have that kind of play. Hence you putting yourself in the firing line my friend.
Fair enough and lesson learnt even though ppl on fab are very sensitive. I've been attacked on posts about penis size, snowbunny/queen of spades (even though that was a status update) and sometimes it's like wtf how do I ask questions and find things out of ppl are so uptight all the time about everything lol, (sighs)
I think the issue was the title of your post and the implication that people who wouldn't do this are not 'submissive enough'.
I'm not personally offended, but it is a bit of an offensive statement to make. This is a scene that would not appeal to people for different reasons - someone isn't 'less' of a submissive because they require trust or a connection or they take their safety seriously.
In addition, as someone who has been in the BDSM lifestyle for 10 years, I can tell you that it's a tactic that predators take to prey on newbies - "You won't do XYZ? Well then, you're not REALLY a submissive" - cue some submissives doing things that they aren't comfortable with to try and prove themselves.
I want to be very clear that I DO NOT think that is what you are doing, I just wanted to point out why your wording was problematic. "Fair enough and I respect your critique. This entire swinging lifestyle is new to me, very new to me and to me it was just a scenario I painted from a personal experience I had and I was curious to know if some women would like that, again I stress one of the reasons why I asked was because I mentioned it to a few women over the weekend and they felt it was hot/turned them on so hence i decided since this is the forum to ask questions and have a discussion about it, why not. Obviously I'm now realising the wording was problematic but I thought to use the word submissive as oppose to curious/brave etc because the topic was about BDSM. The sad thing is that I think this post probably have ppl thinking something sordid etc (I also asked a similar question being more specific about what line wouldn't you cross when involved in the dom/sub relationship etc) But I don't know at times, I think ppl here are to quick to judge, and the sad thing is some of the women maligning me on this post would be amazed of the type of guy I am and how romantic I am etc. But that's life you live and you learn but I reallt do appreciate you not attacking me but instead trying to impart knowledge on me so that I can be better off in the future. Will make my final post today about asking questions, judging ppl and also not making ppl feel welcomed in these types of forums (pun not intended) | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
I actually agree with you but it's like you're going to meet a guy to sleep with them for the first time and they tell you there favourite positions. She told me what she was into and how she liked to be fucked, so I was like ok. Sp hence the blindfold her on entry etc. She gets marks easily so it wasn't like if she was in pain etc, she just loves to be fucked hard, we were meeting for the first time and I thought ok I'll give her what she wants,so she'll keep on coming back for more (and she did)
Well if you both enjoyed it then it was a success but like others have said, its very intense for a first meet. Maybe practice sub/dom play with stronger connections next time? Would be awful if it all went a bit wrong! Guess from my pov fantasy can be just that.. a fantasy - but reality there needs much more trust and security. "That's the thing security and trust was built up that day (she felt safe and everything) and thus we tried other stuff when we met up a few more times. | |||
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"Sounds awful to me! sorry OP - though I'm not very submissive. Surely these type of scenerios would be better with more trust and connection built up? So you're at least in-tune with eachother and what you're both thinking whilst acting out the fantasy..
I actually agree with you but it's like you're going to meet a guy to sleep with them for the first time and they tell you there favourite positions. She told me what she was into and how she liked to be fucked, so I was like ok. Sp hence the blindfold her on entry etc. She gets marks easily so it wasn't like if she was in pain etc, she just loves to be fucked hard, we were meeting for the first time and I thought ok I'll give her what she wants,so she'll keep on coming back for more (and she did)
Well if you both enjoyed it then it was a success but like others have said, its very intense for a first meet. Maybe practice sub/dom play with stronger connections next time? Would be awful if it all went a bit wrong! Guess from my pov fantasy can be just that.. a fantasy - but reality there needs much more trust and security.
That's the thing security and trust was built up that day (she felt safe and everything) and thus we tried other stuff when we met up a few more times.
"I'd personally need many more meets before exploring in this way but thats just me. Just giving my opinion as a non-submissive who's not really into the sub/dom thing.. so I wouldn't listen too much to me   | |||
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"Most women I tell this story to (who are into bdsm) are normally turned on by it tbh. I wouldn't lie and say we were talking for weeks or anything like that, maybe 2 days max lol but we did video chat and had a spicy session where I made her do some very naughty things for me and she was so turned on, she drove over by me, but she did trust me enough that I wouldn't cross the line etc and I'm an old school romantic so I do put a woman's needs above my own. Btw I did get her flowers lol which I gave her after I took off the blind fold and we sipped some wine (and beers) in between an almost 4 hour fuck session (yes she almost drained me lol and I hadn't slept at all that night, she came over almost 5 am in the morning lol) " no pics or its not true . | |||
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