FabSwingers.com forum: Do you have a regular safe word?

By *edheadj OP Man
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Just seen on social media (not sure if we are allowed to mention other sites) that the three most common safe words when playing are 'banana', 'pineapple' and 'red'.

It got me wondering, do you have a safe word you use regularly when playing?

We've used 'sprout' as a safe word a few times, only because we both dislike sprouts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always insist that playmates who agree to submit to me on a BDSM play date choose their own safe word. Likewise, if I decide to switch, I always choose my own safe word as well.

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Butterfly is always one I like to suggest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very lazy, red and yellow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Red” for me.

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By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

I only ever use Red.

It's important to choose a safe word that you can remember too or know your partner well enough that you can recognise when they've forgotten it because they're so spaced that their brain has temporarily turned to mush and they have become non verbal.

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

"I'm very lazy, red and yellow

Always good for someone your not too sure how far to go or how hard to play, you can talk pre scene all you like put everyone has different opinions of what hard is. The traffic light system works well too I find.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Stop...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red. My standard safeword and one that is generally recognised as "house safewords " at all the kink events I have ever been to in the past.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Stop..."

Yes. Stop means stop.

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By *odgerNbadgerCouple
over a year ago

Chepstow

If we ask where the haggis is or did we remember to buy haggis, then its time to stop...

Although with non-regular partners I'd use the traffic light system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop...

Yes. Stop means stop."

It's not a secret word - the safeword is agreed before any scene or play, and makes for an explicit withdrawal of consent in play where "stop" may be an involuntary reaction or part of the scene.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

We have used all sorts, countries, fruits, places but these days unless they have their own verbal safewords we stick to the traffic light system of Red and Amber.

Anything that requires an element of thought instead of an immediate reaction is just too risky.

But each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peanuts is my safe word. I choose it because I'm actually allergic to them.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

We’ve used ‘safe word’ in our bdsm play as well as red yellow green.

In a swing scenario, if Kitty wants a break she’ll ask for a drink. It means ‘I’m still happy, I just need to pause.’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our safe word is cucumber. It’s how we found out we were both kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slut loves her safe word is I suggested it was the name of her ex husband.......

He was a pain to be with so it relates well

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Slut loves her safe word is I suggested it was the name of her ex husband.......

He was a pain to be with so it relates well

Haha love this.

We use the traffic light system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only ever use Red.

Another one for Red here. And totally agree with this

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Red and Amber the classy choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

In all things it is understanding the sub or bottom with whom you are playing.

The problem with just using "stop" is that some people want to be taken on a journey where their begging and pleading will be ignored. That is why "red" is useful. It means I have hit my limit stop now.

However "red" is a nuclear option that stops play.

I now ask bottoms add "really" so I know they are being serious. So if I hear "stop, really" or "it is painful, really" then I will stop what I am doing or adjust.

Also as a midpoint I replace "amber" with "Mercy " stolen from the Kink site, "Mercy" meaning take it easy, I am not sure about this.

But use of a safe word is no substitute for keeping an eye on the bottom or sub and making your own assessment of how the sub is doing. There is also an obligation on the sub to be honest about how they are feeling and give respectful and appropriate feedback. Kink is a team game.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Harder?

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