FabSwingers.com forum: Help me muse over something...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I got ‘involved’ with a guy just recently. He seemed nice but then I found out he hacked my FB account and knew the passcode to my phone and would covertly read my messages between me and my friends. He even messaged someone close to me and told him he was going to ‘destroy’ him. Needless to say I got rid pretty fucking quickly.

The day I told him to leave though, I was WFH, engrossed in a teams call and he packed his stuff and went. I didn’t realise til a day or so later that he had packed up my entire sex toy collection and took it with him.

I never mentioned it to him as I just wanted him gone.

But now I’m just sat here wondering... why the fuck would someone do that???

It was like a few hundred quid worth of stuff.

Hardly like I’m gonna file a police report on theft of stolen sex toys lol. Not like I can really talk to my friends or family about this one either.

What’s the rationale???? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow lady good work on getting rid of that one! Sounds like a total control freak, maybe he just wanted control of the sex toys as he couldn’t have you. Or maybe he wanted a memory of you...You’ll probably never really know why... but at least you have your sanity!!

We should do a ‘go fund me’ to replace your collection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow lady good work on getting rid of that one! Sounds like a total control freak, maybe he just wanted control of the sex toys as he couldn’t have you. Or maybe he wanted a memory of you...You’ll probably never really know why... but at least you have your sanity!!

We should do a ‘go fund me’ to replace your collection.

Lol I like that idea but I’ve been slowly and surely replacing my collection. I am a little miffed he took my leather spanking paddle that I had custom made though grrrrr

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

Make sure you change the password and pins for everything. An obsessive like that won't stop just like that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Make sure you change the password and pins for everything. An obsessive like that won't stop just like that. "

I literally have changed passwords to EVERYTHING

Guy was weird. He hounded me for a while after. He’s since been blocked on every platform I can think possible xx

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

"Make sure you change the password and pins for everything. An obsessive like that won't stop just like that.

I literally have changed passwords to EVERYTHING

Guy was weird. He hounded me for a while after. He’s since been blocked on every platform I can think possible xx "

Just be careful princess. He cracked your account and phone that means, he can be a real a**hole if he wants

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Make sure you change the password and pins for everything. An obsessive like that won't stop just like that.

I literally have changed passwords to EVERYTHING

Guy was weird. He hounded me for a while after. He’s since been blocked on every platform I can think possible xx

Just be careful princess. He cracked your account and phone that means, he can be a real a**hole if he wants"

I realise this

He worked in a field that required enhanced DBS checking so my final warning to him was that if he came a step closer I’d be making a call to the police

I realise people with sociopathic tendencies can find work arounds but I’ve heard nothing in a couple of months so I’m hoping he realises he’s got more to lose by pulling silly stunts on me.

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

Well done, always like a woman that can stand up for herself, and not be bullied. ????

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done, always like a woman that can stand up for herself, and not be bullied. ????"

I think he embarked on something with me he thought would be easy pickings. But oh how wrong he was.

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

Well it's now in your past. Leave it there. And be careful going forward.

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

If he works in those fields he has a LOT to lose. He’s playing a very risky game.

Having said that, I agree that he’s a coward and he’s trying to control you by stealing trophies and (in his opinion) denying you pleasure.

If push comes to shove, report him. The Police will be understanding and there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. It’s the 21st century, and he’s a creep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If he works in those fields he has a LOT to lose. He’s playing a very risky game.

Having said that, I agree that he’s a coward and he’s trying to control you by stealing trophies and (in his opinion) denying you pleasure.

If push comes to shove, report him. The Police will be understanding and there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. It’s the 21st century, and he’s a creep.

I understand. Tbh I’ve put it to bed now. I’m

just trying to understand the logic in doing such a thing!! I guess it was because he thought he could control the access to my fantasies and pleasure.

He took them so it created the opportunity for me to approach him, thus opening a dialogue that I shut down, and he thought he may be able to manipulate/exploit me? Luckily I don’t have a huge emotional attachment to my gadgets!!

I totally have written the times off though. Have started replenishing my stock

The whole thing baffled me though. I can understand people doing the off with high value or sentimental items. But sex toys... never saw that one coming!!!

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

It just a way of establishing control. Trying to find something that will break you

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

" I can understand people doing the off with high value or sentimental items. But sex toys... never saw that one coming!!!"

It’s not about value, he’s clutching at straws.

It could be a Rolex watch (too risky) or a pair of your socks.

I don’t want to sound like I’ve personal experience of behaving like this, but he feels like he has power over you by taking this stuff.

I’d advise (at least) putting this on record with the police. This could be the evidence they need to secure a conviction in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, as much as it would pain me, I’d have to feign complete disinterest in the toys and not give him the satisfaction. He obviously took them as bait and is waiting for you to contact him. He sounds like a complete narcissistic twunt though, so good on you for getting rid of him!

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

"To be honest, as much as it would pain me, I’d have to feign complete disinterest in the toys and not give him the satisfaction. He obviously took them as bait and is waiting for you to contact him. He sounds like a complete narcissistic twunt though, so good on you for getting rid of him! "

???? Second that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is exactly what I had deduced from the whole thing

Just thought I’d reach out here to see what the concensus was as sometimes I can question my own interpretations!!

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

[Removed by poster at 10/10/20 01:47:49]

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By *omin8rMan
over a year ago

In A Playspace

You did very well, and handled it the best way you could.

You are better off without that kind of person around you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is exactly what I had deduced from the whole thing

Just thought I’d reach out here to see what the concensus was as sometimes I can question my own interpretations!! "

Your interpretations seem to be spot on! Always trust your judgement...and keep the sex toys locked away in future

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Spite is his motivation. Pure, nasty, white, spite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He took them because it’s control.

He took them so you have a reason to contact him again.

Avoid analysing others’ action as it’s from your rationale so will never do anything but confuse you.

Just because of his job, don’t think it’ll will necessarily stop him. His mindset may see his obsession with you more important. Keep a diary; inform friends and change all passwords, locks etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg Iv had the same thing the only difference was he purchased the bulk of it so he was the official owner so I let it go, when I did confront him over it he was more than proud to say he wasn’t paying for me to have pleasure without him

your man has done it in utter SPITE good riddance to bad rubbish and I’m sure you will have lots of fun building a new collection even tho u should not have too xx

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By *ong_John2333Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hardly like I’m gonna file a police report on theft of stolen sex toys lol. Not like I can really talk to my friends or family about this one either."

I think you answered your own question, he took things that he could sell/keep, but that you are unlikely to report/talk to people about. He probably likes that the most likely way for you to get them back is to renew contact with him.

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