FabSwingers.com forum: Is asking for a social that much

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We don't advertise on our profile that we meet single guys. That doesn't mean we don't ever have the need for them when C is feeling greedy...is it to much to ask for a guy to join us for a social before we invite them to the club

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns

I wouldn't have thought so...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. But not everyone will be on your wavelength. Doesn't mean they're wrong, just not right for you. Don't see the problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ows the time 300Man
over a year ago

Rickmansworth

Seems perfectly reasonable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

We've never had a problem with single guys not wanting to do a social. The ones we are interested in are always happy with that and are aware there will be no play on the social x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ivinityloveWoman
over a year ago

Bacup

Essential for me unless at a club x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would never plan a playdate without a social first.

Need to make sure we all click before we plan a proper date.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not, perfectly acceptable !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushy 99Man
over a year ago

somewhere nearby

Not at all.. completely understandable to meet the guy before initiating anything!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I thought clubs were social only anyway at the moment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Not at all! Far better to meet for a social in a coffee shop or a pub, than go to the expense of a club! Add to that the possibility of being ‘abandoned’ in a generally unwelcoming club environment (if you’ve ever been a single guy in a swingers’ club you’ll know what I mean), if you don’t all get on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We pretty much always meet for a social first.

If the guys not willing to make some effort for a no pressure Social then we’re generally not interested.

Call us selfish or vain but we need an attraction to the person we’re thinking of playing with, and that usually only happens after a social.

We also find that as soon as we mention a social before play half the guys we’re talking to go quiet... funny that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We pretty much always meet for a social first.

If the guys not willing to make some effort for a no pressure Social then we’re generally not interested.

Call us selfish or vain but we need an attraction to the person we’re thinking of playing with, and that usually only happens after a social.

We also find that as soon as we mention a social before play half the guys we’re talking to go quiet... funny that!"

We've never had a man turn down a social meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

Originally we were not interested in socials whats so ever, we had both agreed we just wanted an extra dick and that was all.

Initially Babygirl didn't want anything to do with the selection of the guy but i would send her occasional screenshots of conversation i was having and she has become more interested.

After having no luck setting up the kind of anonymous meets we wanted i suggested we meet potential guys for a drinks first.

She said she would feel really uncomfortable with a guy flirting with her and it feeling like a date. She's all down for the sex but not the social side, even if i had said it was ok.

So we have settled on her selecting the guys she finds attractive and me meeting them for a drink to get a feel for them.

As we like the idea of a guy in his 20's we are mostly talking to guys with no verifications.

I know we would have more luck talking to older guys but they just dont do it for Babygirl. She calls me an old man and I'm not even 40 ffs

We are probably limiting ourselves even further by asking them to meet only the male for a social first, but the way we look at it is this, if I'm going to share my gorgeous wife with you, your going to have to make an effort.

I reckon if I meet a guy for a drink I would know very quickly if he was the right guy for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Definately not OP's.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought that a social would benefit both.

I would always accept a social first if offered.

If they are saying no, then it would make me think something is up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No of course not, my first meet off here i was asked to go on a social then a week later met up in Cupids.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uilder506Man
over a year ago

bognor

I would prefer asocial first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onty1971Man
over a year ago

London St Helier Trier

Doesn't it always start with a Social. Sometimes it goes well from there and sometimes not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cottyl1983Man
over a year ago

Tyne and Wear

I'd prefer a social at first then you know if it's worth meeting up again need some sort of chemistry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"We don't advertise on our profile that we meet single guys. That doesn't mean we don't ever have the need for them when C is feeling greedy...is it to much to ask for a guy to join us for a social before we invite them to the club"
Not at all ...socials are v important to see if you both like & show attraction ...if a guy wont meet this way its his loss ..plenty on here who will

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't advertise on our profile that we meet single guys. That doesn't mean we don't ever have the need for them when C is feeling greedy...is it to much to ask for a guy to join us for a social before we invite them to the clubNot at all ...socials are v important to see if you both like & show attraction ...if a guy wont meet this way its his loss ..plenty on here who will

Exactly, theres only so much you can tell from a profile and pics... personality is important too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

When mentoring people in the BDSM scene, I always suggest they ask prospective play partners several questions, one of which is “would you be prepared to meet in a social setting without any expectation of play?”

If the person declines, then it is likely they either are not serious or could be a dangerous play mate.

While sexual meets do not necessarily carry the same risks as a BDSM session, for me the principle still stands. Unwilling to meet for a social should be a Red Flag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ounty durham bbw coupleCouple
over a year ago

darlington

Meeting for a social especially with local guys is a good way of rooting out the married guys and people in long term relationships because they don't want to be seen in public and it definitely helps everyone relax

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social should be the only thing people are thinking of during this crisis. Albeit bubbles and the potential of forming bubbles.

Majority of current statuses of guys (seen on my updates) are asking for sex from the off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all. Ofcourse not everyone will be want what you want, so bear that in mind. Personally I prefer a social, especially when meeting a couple for the first time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urpeesandwineCouple
over a year ago

Hove

Socials are very important for us. Always a social as a first meet. No social - not for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No. But not everyone will be on your wavelength. Doesn't mean they're wrong, just not right for you. Don't see the problem. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When mentoring people in the BDSM scene, I always suggest they ask prospective play partners several questions, one of which is “would you be prepared to meet in a social setting without any expectation of play?”

If the person declines, then it is likely they either are not serious or could be a dangerous play mate.

While sexual meets do not necessarily carry the same risks as a BDSM session, for me the principle still stands. Unwilling to meet for a social should be a Red Flag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wistedbambi69Woman
over a year ago

Somerset

I always meet for a social first.

I've been in the BDSM scene longer than the swinging scene and there are a lot more risks to consider when meeting for the BDSM side of things. But...You can judge someone better in person than you can online, so even if it is just for sex, I like to meet for a drink and have a face to face conversation with them.

Sometimes I find that even if I'm attracted to them looks wise, their personality can put me off. They could look like Brad Pitt, but if I don't click with them, I couldn't get naked with them.

If they are unwilling to meet for a social only, I wouldn't meet them. It's that simple.

I've made some bad judgement calls in the past, and have been fairly lucky considering, so I do what I can to limit the risks now.

If all goes well, then it's full steam ahead planning the second meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Deffo not,

You have to gage the attraction ans that you all get on well, before deciding to take it further

If someone can't even agree to that, just move on, that's what I do.

I've had a few men go quiet when i was meeting and said it's a social first only.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

If the single guy doesn't want a social and its important to you then clearly he's not the right guy for you. Just helps with the process of finding the right guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would always insist on a social before anything. It’s a good way of breaking the ice and seeing if there is a connection. I need to be able to trust both partners before anything as occasionally in clubs, a lady has invited me to her table only to be told to leave by her male partner. If no spark then all can leave in a dignified manner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally like a first meet to be social on mutual understanding there has to be mutual attraction of personality, humour and sex appeal. If all are happy and wish to go further fine, but a single guy should be prepared to invest time to have pleasure with someones Lady.

Your looks are stunning very photogenic and sexy as mm Love to paint you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oreplayfunpairCouple
over a year ago

Weston Super Mare

We always have a social meet first for any potential playmates. We can't just play without some form of connection. Especially if we are considering solo play with her and the other person then we would both meet them socially first and take it from there. If they didn't want to do that then would be a no go from start.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ess n BenCouple
over a year ago

Didcot

We would always want a social first as someone said earlier there has to be an attraction

If the guy does not want a social that’s his loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"If the single guy doesn't want a social and its important to you then clearly he's not the right guy for you. Just helps with the process of finding the right guys."

100% This.

Jo.Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the single guy doesn't want a social and its important to you then clearly he's not the right guy for you. Just helps with the process of finding the right guys."

Totally agree - this goes for anyone that doesn't meet your preferences to be honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would always want a social first as someone said earlier there has to be an attraction

If the guy does not want a social that’s his loss"

It's not his loss. It's both party's gain.

They are not compatible and no time was wasted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust1fbMan
over a year ago

leeds

Meeting somone socially gives you an idea if you click and enjoy each others company it's good to meet socially first I always suggest to people that we should meet socially first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ormladMan
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

Definitely social is the best ice breaker. I have had meets without as well on my previous profile and had no issues as long as all parties involved are happy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umblefunMan
over a year ago

London/ South East

Unless the “total stranger” experience is part of the thrill, and Is what the couple want, of course you’d want to meet for a social first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ondonerMan
over a year ago

London / Essex borders

"We've never had a problem with single guys not wanting to do a social. The ones we are interested in are always happy with that and are aware there will be no play on the social x"

Exactly this - as a single guy, I'm acutely aware of the odds on here, and if a couple want to meet, I'm always happy to play on their terms, be that a social, cam or phone chat first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Yes just meet a random at a club then there on messing around that comes with No guarantee being a bit selfish if their one you like have couple drinks and dance still a good night,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to do socials at either mine or there house have a brew and a chat see how we get on If things go well they progress if not we go our seperate ways it's amazing how many people look nothing like there pictures or 5 stone heavier

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

Not at all, I see it as quite normal and have absolutely no problem with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it is lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imBanksMan
over a year ago

Letchworth

Always like a social first. It's helpful for both parties to see if there's a connection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *impleSailorMan
over a year ago

the moon

No not at all.

There has to he a connection and that can only be found out before hand at a social surely?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icknHMan
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I prefer a social meet before anything else....happy if social develops into sexual but if there’s no connection with kit on there will be none with kit off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Social always unless it’s a massage meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Social always unless it’s a massage meet. "

I would still do a social first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ostguy321Man
over a year ago

Princes Risborough

Totally agree in having a social as it's a chance to have s no pressure meet on both sides.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials are a great way of making sure it’s right before planning playtime x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

All I promise is coffee ... have to say I’m pretty rubbish at leaving it at a social though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all..I think that’s perfectly fine..as the social works for both party’s involved..,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread