FabSwingers.com forum: If this wasn't true....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If this wasn't true i'd put it in the fantasy section. I know the reality of this situation - just need the kick up my pants to keep me on track - there are boundaries i have to respect. I'm mid 50's and i have been teaching my 19 year old neighbour to drive for about 6 months. She's a nice girl but has had boy problems in the past - i would say she is a good looking girl who knows how to show her figure off - why wouldn't she - hot teenager rather than tarty. When teaching her the theory in the summer she would come round in a crop top, braless. Every so often she might straighten her hair, at which point the top would ride up and i would see the curve of her breast. On one occasion i saw her nipple for a couple of seconds. We started driving and she plays a lot of D&B and Drill music - if you haven't heard Drill its pretty hardcore black street music. We do chat and i know she likes black guys - i have no problem with that in this day and age, but combined with the music it makes me uncomfortable. I'm there to help her learn to drive but i can't help but get turned on at the thought of her. I've seen her grow up and i'm the trusted neighbour and i'm not going to cross boundaries and make an idiot of myself. So i guess this is a bit of self therapy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Life can be tough like that but you're being the adult in this situation and from what I've read on here recently that's rare. Let's hope she passes her test soon

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"We do chat and i know she likes black guys - i have no problem with that in this day and age, but combined with the music it makes me uncomfortable. "

Why does it make you uncomfortable ?

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

She obviously trusts you dont disrespect it.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"If this wasn't true i'd put it in the fantasy section. I know the reality of this situation - just need the kick up my pants to keep me on track - there are boundaries i have to respect. I'm mid 50's and i have been teaching my 19 year old neighbour to drive for about 6 months. She's a nice girl but has had boy problems in the past - i would say she is a good looking girl who knows how to show her figure off - why wouldn't she - hot teenager rather than tarty. When teaching her the theory in the summer she would come round in a crop top, braless. Every so often she might straighten her hair, at which point the top would ride up and i would see the curve of her breast. On one occasion i saw her nipple for a couple of seconds. We started driving and she plays a lot of D&B and Drill music - if you haven't heard Drill its pretty hardcore black street music. We do chat and i know she likes black guys - i have no problem with that in this day and age, but combined with the music it makes me uncomfortable. I'm there to help her learn to drive but i can't help but get turned on at the thought of her. I've seen her grow up and i'm the trusted neighbour and i'm not going to cross boundaries and make an idiot of myself. So i guess this is a bit of self therapy. "

Sorry I’m lost. What has her liking for black guys got to do with anything ?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Sorry I’m lost. What has her liking for black guys got to do with anything ? "

It gets him off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We do chat and i know she likes black guys - i have no problem with that in this day and age, but combined with the music it makes me uncomfortable.

Why does it make you uncomfortable ?"

The “lyrics” are fairly basic and gritty. Using women without much care for them. I think she is probably wiser than I give her credit for but I would be more comfortable if she listened to Barry Manilow ! I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be young !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did you come to be teaching her to drive?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How did you come to be teaching her to drive?"

During lockdown ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So we started the theory outside socially distanced ( she had failed 11times before I took an interest !). The driving we started after she had passed her theory and the rules had been relaxed. We wear face masks still.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Thing is OP you're doing the right thing by not crossing that boundary, but from the way you've written that it's obvious you have in your head and so it's a very thin line you are walking - is there any way you could back away from teaching her any more?

Ask yourself this though - if it were your 19 year old daughter how would you feel? And try and keep that thought in your head at all times.

There's nothing wrong with it at all, from a legal standpoint etc, but there's been no indication of interest from her and it's obviously troubling you so the best thing would be to back away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes that's the reality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it makes you uncomfortable, stop doing it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm keen to get her to pass so don't want to disengage entirely. Your points are well made though, thanks

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think it's a bit pervy tbh "i can't help but get turned on at the thought of her".

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Aren't driving lessons normally taken without listening to distracting D+B and drill music ?

To fail a theory test 11 times in two years is quite an achievement !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's a bit pervy tbh "i can't help but get turned on at the thought of her".

"
Not sure how to reply to that. I have said it turns me on which makes me a bit pervy in your view, and i can see why. Just reinforces the point that i'm a fool and mustn't do anything daft !"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aren't driving lessons normally taken without listening to distracting D+B and drill music ?

To fail a theory test 11 times in two years is quite an achievement !"
she is a lovely girl but not the brightest- she just needed a bit of focus. Regarding the driving my approach is two fold - learning to drive safely (which she will do with music blaring away) and learning to pass the test - the two are not mutually exclusive.

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

If her listening D & B and Drill Music makes you uncomfortable, maybe switch over to Magic FM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If her listening D & B and Drill Music makes you uncomfortable, maybe switch over to Magic FM"
bizarrely some of it i quite like now ! "Secrets" DJ Khalid and Lil Nas x are new to my ipad ! The Drill is a bit more of an acquired taste !

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

Next time say to her 'i nearly saw your boob then' she might be that thick she hasn't realised, then see what her reply is, you will know from her reaction what her intentions are ........ and no music whilst learning, full focus should be on the driving, no wonder she's failed 11 times !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Next time say to her 'i nearly saw your boob then' she might be that thick she hasn't realised, then see what her reply is, you will know from her reaction what her intentions are ........ and no music whilst learning, full focus should be on the driving, no wonder she's failed 11 times !!!!"
i'm not sure which one of us would be more mortified if i said that ! I think discretion is probably the better part of valour in this case !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if it makes you uncomfortable, stop doing it "
i want to get her to pass, bit of a mission i guess. Just need the reality check this thread is giving. Q. What does a 19 year old girl see in a 50year old man ? A. Nothing more than the help he is giving her to learn to drive.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"if it makes you uncomfortable, stop doing it i want to get her to pass, bit of a mission i guess. Just need the reality check this thread is giving. Q. What does a 19 year old girl see in a 50year old man ? A. Nothing more than the help he is giving her to learn to drive."

Don't assume that she's naive or innocent though. Remain the mature adult in this situation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't assume that she's naive or innocent though. Remain the mature adult in this situation"
i will do. Thanks for everyone's input

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By *layPrincessDaddyBearCouple
over a year ago

Bracknell

This is just my opinion not right or wrong but it comes from personal experience. Do not act on this she is 19 what she wears or music she listens to does not give anyone the right to think they can have her. I was 17 and my driving instructor was a much older man, he took advantage of me being being much younger and well I’ve never gotten over it. He blamed me for wearing clothing th at excited him and lead me to believe it was my fault. ( as an adult now I realise that it was never my fault.) if as an older man where this girl has not expressed an interest in you in words or physical behaviour ie touching you too must not do anything. If it is too much to control your feelings ( understandable you find her attractive no crime in that) then perhaps to step down from the situation maybe best.... this is not porn but real life.... please take what I say with the respect it is ment with xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is just my opinion not right or wrong but it comes from personal experience. Do not act on this she is 19 what she wears or music she listens to does not give anyone the right to think they can have her. I was 17 and my driving instructor was a much older man, he took advantage of me being being much younger and well I’ve never gotten over it. He blamed me for wearing clothing th at excited him and lead me to believe it was my fault. ( as an adult now I realise that it was never my fault.) if as an older man where this girl has not expressed an interest in you in words or physical behaviour ie touching you too must not do anything. If it is too much to control your feelings ( understandable you find her attractive no crime in that) then perhaps to step down from the situation maybe best.... this is not porn but real life.... please take what I say with the respect it is ment with xxx"
thank you, you summed it up very eloquently. I know what is right and wrong, and even in the highly unlikely event she made a move i would be panic stricken ! I will report back periodically (test is early november). I will behave - i know its the only thing to do.

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

No wounder she cannot pass her test, if she is listening to that crap instead of the lessons

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No wounder she cannot pass her test, if she is listening to that crap instead of the lessons

"
no it was the theory she failed. She hasn't taken the practical yet. She's actually a very competent / positive driver.

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