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Is porn ruining our sex lives?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll lend u my fb

I think he has a degree in turning me on lol

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

maybe you need to look at your selection process

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"

Because they are getting all their ideas from porn videos.... Don't worry, this is one of my pet hobby-horses too.

Porn ain't swinging. Never was, and isn't now, but that's what is happening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mine is amazing too, but happy to share!! but he does seem to be one in a million. it's crazy, why is faster and harder better??!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in some 'sutuations' where all the other girl wants is fast and hard... I think it's about working out before hand about being compatible and know what u all enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

this is very true, I meet virtually no one anymore, bit like you I think. but I have had some total nightmares in the past, no matter how specific I have been on my profile. it seems that some guys just lose control when set lose on a naked woman!!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

because some people seem to think everyone knows everything about turning the other person on and fucking.

the best sex comes after you are able to communicate what you want.

the BEST lovers listen and adopt what you want, and mix it in with what they also find works.

no one knows your body better than yourself.

porn CAN enhance sex, but it needs to be used as a stimulus NOT a guidebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol welsh... Can't blame them too much for getting over excited... You do happen to be a VERY hot lady!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

um, thanks, I think! sounds like I was fishing there! sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol not at all...

Just gotta tell the guy what u like...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh, I do, always. I'm very straight forward. My likes are long slow sensuous sex, my dislikes are porn style sex.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire


"Oh, I do, always. I'm very straight forward. My likes are long slow sensuous sex, my dislikes are porn style sex. "

im with you (him)

infact, i saw your profile when we first joined.

im thinking of approaching you for sex somewhere around xmas.

is that long and slow enough for you? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, I do, always. I'm very straight forward. My likes are long slow sensuous sex, my dislikes are porn style sex. "

See I watch most porn and think that its tame compared to my sex.. As its never as rough or hard as I like it..

I also think in many movies they take to long to get down to it.. all these teasing and stuff.. I much prefer the cock out, in my mouth start to play..

So does porn ruin my sex life.. Not really... but it does make me laugh when a guy wants me to spit on his cock...

I never watched porn till long after I had my own personal sexual preferences.. I always took the lead.. and often had guys say sorry not what they were looking for..

So for me no.. it doesnt really affect my sex life.

oh and I do like slow and sensual but only with Master or a regular partner.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mind boggles - lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"porn CAN enhance sex, but it needs to be used as a stimulus NOT a guidebook"

+1

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"because some people seem to think everyone knows everything about turning the other person on and fucking.

the best sex comes after you are able to communicate what you want.

the BEST lovers listen and adopt what you want, and mix it in with what they also find works.

no one knows your body better than yourself.

porn CAN enhance sex, but it needs to be used as a stimulus NOT a guidebook"

Think you've hit the nail on the head there. Seems with the growth of younger people using porn that there's been an explosion with expectations of recreating the porn experience, as if that's all there is to sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I have to disagree that porn is spoiling it.. I find it quite hard to get guys that want sex how I want it.. as they mostly want to get me in the mood ( I am always in the mood)

They want to seduce me and take their time.. I stick the timer on pretty much..

So I would say that most men don't want to recreate porn.. I get it more at the gangbang situations to be fair.. the one hand.. and the comments in that situation can actually make me have to try control a fit of giggles..

But I find for one to one meets or even 3sums that most men want to just have a sexy erotic encounter..

Cali

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"porn CAN enhance sex, but it needs to be used as a stimulus NOT a guidebook

+1 "

agree..

again as in most things between folk..

communication is the key..

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Think im the only person on here that doesnt own any porn. I have absolutly nothing against it but watching people doing what i could be doing myself holds absolutly no appeal to me whatsoever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think im the only person on here that doesnt own any porn. I have absolutly nothing against it but watching people doing what i could be doing myself holds absolutly no appeal to me whatsoever"

I def don't own any... The Internet is full of free porn lol why pay for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think several posts have hit the bail on tge head. the problem is that a lot of single guys rely on porn too much.

But it's not all guys, but then those that are good at giving what women want don't stay single for long. They listen and aim to please rather than just in it for themselves.

Keeping tramp for myself lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Keeping tramp for myself lol"

shucks, damn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yea with the men being the worst offenders i mean who do they think they are ron fkin jeremy lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"

I agree.

One man I met was fine until he was about to cum, pulled out of me, whipped off the condom and started spraying cum all around my bedroom. I did my fucking nut!!!

My daughter used to come in from school and jump on my bed. Had to wash bedding and forensically clean my bedroom to make sure my daughter didn't sit in cum.

Why would someone do that in someone's home, that's why I no longer meet those that don't accommodate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what you have to remember is that porn is born of fantasy.. to a lot, what we do on here is fulfil that.. so there is going to be some overlap.

I think that communication between sexual partners is always the key... It's why I am so upfront with how I like to play.. it then means that those not looking for what we want should pass us by...

I think you can use porn... But not exclusively... I used to when I first start watching it get ideas to try but mostly I'd watch it to see women doing what I thought I would never do apart from in my head... I've always wanted group fun... And when I found porn did lots of that I watched with delight... The cream pie stuff... It really did make me think I'd love to be her...

I do understand that some guys watch a movie.. come on here and think let's do that... But you just have to show them how you want it.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a couple with a fb once and during the fun she sounded like a porn star. She was telling him to "fuck me baby" in the daftest American accent and regularly screamed (in the same daft accent) "yeah baby, that's it, that's right".

When he came to playing with me, despite low moans of pleasure, he lost his erection saying that he didn't think he was pleasing me because I wasn't screaming etc.

YES....porn ruined that night...grrrr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"

You,ve definatly been meet ing the wrong men , sound like boys who uv met haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn, like a lot of things, has its place. If you are interested in taking pics and making videos for example, then camera angles, lighting etc info can be easily gained. It can also teach you strange things, such as how to shave your balls correctly and not just the bit of the base of the shaft you can normally see lol!

But as a guide to becoming a considerate yet lustful being at indulging in pleasures most erotic, its about as good as watching Rocky and thinking the World Heavyweight IBF belt is yours for the taking...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But as a guide to becoming a considerate yet lustful being at indulging in pleasures most erotic, its about as good as watching Rocky and thinking the World Heavyweight IBF belt is yours for the taking... "

What!!!! You mean I'm not a champion boxer just because I know all the words to Eye of the Tiger

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By *heekygeordieguyMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"

I know a good teacher....ME...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like Cali there are scenarios we love which could have been born from porn we have enjoyed - and got some inspiration from .

Gang bangs, bukakke , spunk fest etc.... Things we wouldn't have entertained without inspiration so for us it's enhanced our play .

It is understandable that some ( especially single women ) may not enjoy these delights as they may desire more intimacy and depth and that's cool , but that's for us - we swing to enjoy things we don't necessarily have in our own sex life and get some great ideas from porn !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But as a guide to becoming a considerate yet lustful being at indulging in pleasures most erotic, its about as good as watching Rocky and thinking the World Heavyweight IBF belt is yours for the taking...

What!!!! You mean I'm not a champion boxer just because I know all the words to Eye of the Tiger "

Sadly not. Or on the other hand you may well be a champion boxer, irrespective of this.

It does however add another string to the bow that is your kareoke repertoire...

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I remember having sex with an virgen ones and he has obviously watched way too much porn the sex was dire all the way in all the way out. Thankfully I am a good teacher

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was porn that made my ex want to give me a facial... Kinda glad he watched it now lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It was porn that made my ex want to give me a facial... Kinda glad he watched it now lol "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being that as it is a swinger site most people usually go with the general consensus which is porn stars do it best.This is done instead of actually watching and looking at how the woman responds o a touch or the pace of each stroke.Some women like it slow and sensual and some hard and fast so watch the reaction gents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know about ruining my sex life,its deffo knackered my wrists. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"
I must be the only guy in history that loves foreplay and teasing more than anything.... Afternoon sex is the best by a long way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/06/12 08:20:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/06/12 08:16:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My partner (Pork) has the ability to take me to heights that no one else can, and he always telling me to tell swaps what i like. Surly a guy should know the basic's anyway, if they don't they tend to use toys to cover up the lack of experience that they have.... And it does piss me off, there's nothing like a good old fashion fingering and tonguing to find the G-Spot. We now discuss this when we chat at meets with our swaps, to ensure that i get a good time as well as he does !! "

Sorry that should say " Surly the guys should know the basics without watching porn" !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on? I must be the only guy in history that loves foreplay and teasing more than anything.... Afternoon sex is the best by a long way."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My partner (Pork) has the ability to take me to heights that no one else can, and he always telling me to tell swaps what i like. Surly a guy should know the basic's anyway, if they don't they tend to use toys to cover up the lack of experience that they have.... And it does piss me off, there's nothing like a good old fashion fingering and tonguing to find the G-Spot. We now discuss this when we chat at meets with our swaps, to ensure that i get a good time as well as he does !!

Sorry that should say " Surly the guys should know the basics without watching porn" !!"

should know the basics yes they most certainly do but being a swinger you want to be memorable so as to get another invite..That is why i think most guys take porn tricks and try apply them

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester


"don't know if this has been done already but sick to death of being treated like in a porn film. how come guys don't seem to know how to turn a girl on?"

I haven't watched porn for a couple of years because of this. Foreplay seems to bypass afew people on here. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" What!!!! You mean I'm not a champion boxer just because I know all the words to Eye of the Tiger

Sadly not. Or on the other hand you may well be a champion boxer, irrespective of this.

It does however add another string to the bow that is your kareoke repertoire..."

Now you come to mention it I can hold the odd tune or two

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Don't know about ruining my sex life,its deffo knackered my wrists. Lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to watch a lot of porn with my ex hubby, but i never got any enjoyment out of it with him, although he was 9years younger he was a push me back on the bed and take sort of man. When i kicked him out i rebelled and had a few one night stands to which watching porn came into it's own as i was never taught or given sex to appreciate the right technique or not, so i just copied and did what i thought was right. When i met my partner (Pork) And first went to bed with him it was a WOW situation, i had my first real orgasm and have had many since, he also taught me how to please a man correctly with a decent BJ and i have had no complaints since. So my view on porn...yes it's ok for beginners but as for decent sex go and find a real man/woman that dosn't look into the camera and do little squeals when asked too and have a good ole fashion fuck !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Indeed it is.

Young people see porn clips and think that's the norm. Of course this also applies to many people who don't have a lot of experience in the real world and rely on porn to show them the way.

Some very bad habits

Spitting on a cock/pussy/ass for lube.

Slapping pussy uninvited

Shove the cock in the ass with no preparation

Porn positions are for camera angle shots and not mutual pleasure.

To mention a few whilst the kettle was boiling...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Indeed it is.

Young people see porn clips and think that's the norm. Of course this also applies to many people who don't have a lot of experience in the real world and rely on porn to show them the way.

Some very bad habits

Spitting on a cock/pussy/ass for lube.

Slapping pussy uninvited

Shove the cock in the ass with no preparation

Porn positions are for camera angle shots and not mutual pleasure.

To mention a few whilst the kettle was boiling...

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some very bad habits:-

...Shove the cock in the ass with no preparation...

To mention a few whilst the kettle was boiling... "

Hope you had a nice cuppa.... Seriously, This is one of my 'hobby-horses' - I was VERY lucky in going out with a GF in 1985 who had done a number of porn scenes a couple of years earlier. She gave me a rather clinical 'masterclass' in how porn actors get ready for an anal scene, and a much better understanding of what the production of porn is all about, so I have never fallen into the trap of believing that what you see on screen is in ANY way reality. This is what I was getting at in my original post in this thread (lost in the mists of time...!) - porn is NOT reality, and it is most certainly NOT swinging. It's fine for getting ideas, turned on etc, but it's not a Haynes Manual!!

Pork

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if some like it porn style some like it porn style..whats important is not to treat everybody the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that Porn has its pros and cons and like most things in life is ok in moderation. I H have certainly seen my fair share of porn over the years and would say that I have learnt much more than if I hadn't watched any. With this said I do think that because of the internet not being able to age restrict and parents not monitoring what is being viewed situations like the one from the OP will become far more comman unfortunately for sum but maybe not for others. We like a bit of both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think im the only person on here that doesnt own any porn."

I don't have any either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think im the only person on here that doesnt own any porn.

I don't have any either! "

dont watch it either, i prefer two-way communication....or be starring in it lol-but no scripts please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, I do, always. I'm very straight forward. My likes are long slow sensuous sex, my dislikes are porn style sex. "

We know how you feel the Mrs has been complaining for a while now that guys and not just single guys seem to just want to act like porn stars, finger me as fast as they can and flick my clit till i squirt and im bored of it, we love nothing more than soft sensual sex long foreplay kissing and then good sex, but the odd fuck hard and fast is good for deserts lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lot of influence from porn, I see it every time I go to a club.

Obviously the look of the genitals has become fashionable from the porn scene, shaven and small labia for the ladies, waxed for the guys.

Just various actions that I see, the randoim smack on the bottom, done as an afterthought cos he's got to get that action in, the sqauirting phenomena and lots of women aspiring to doing this.

The spitting on fingers and rubbing it into a woman or across the cock and why is the slapping the head of the cock across the clit performed, what is that siupposed to do exactly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a lot of influence from porn, I see it every time I go to a club.

Obviously the look of the genitals has become fashionable from the porn scene, shaven and small labia for the ladies, waxed for the guys.

Just various actions that I see, the randoim smack on the bottom, done as an afterthought cos he's got to get that action in, the sqauirting phenomena and lots of women aspiring to doing this.

The spitting on fingers and rubbing it into a woman or across the cock and why is the slapping the head of the cock across the clit performed, what is that siupposed to do exactly?"

its worked for me on occasions...but I dont like spitting...cockslapping I can....when its enjoyed by who I'm slapping it with

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

no really i get some nice ideas which i would have never thought of Paul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the flipside, porn taught me all I need to know

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By *ickeyandrewsMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Well it's all case of 'Each to their own I suppose' but having said that I find it a major relief that there are still women out their who enjoy a softer more sensual side to sex. I was starting to worry that maybe I'm not exactly ever going to be a 100mph man. Sometimes for me I want to just enjoy a woman's company, and all those unhurried featherlight touches can be such a turn on.

It can be nice to sometimes enjoy a little raw passion but Donkey dicked porno star I don't think I'll ever be and I've certainly never had a tick box checklist of every position to do lol like they do in porn haha. Mind you I saw some porn recently with a couple and I have to say I found it a real turn on to see both of them smiling and laughing and genuinely looking like they wanted to be there rather than either looking like they want to kick the shit out of each other or were desperate to get back to the train station to get back home.

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